Q4all: what is your opinion of men who hire prostitutes?

Lyanina · 2018-06-12T16:13:00+00:00

Ew, and that's about it.

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-06-12T17:26:19+00:00

Blue, woman. It really depends on the individual, who they are as a person, how they treat the sex workers they hire and interact with, what their stance on the industry is. For a guy who is respectful and is simply too busy or awkward to date “normally” and has the extra income to treat himself to the services of a preofessional, I don’t think it’s any weirder than going to a masseuse. I have friends who are sex workers, many of whom have respectful professional relationships with loyal regular clients and are happy with their situation.

However, for the guys who go into it with malice in their hearts, who look down on sex workers and take pleasure in hurting them, who perhaps go to the trouble of seeking them out in specific venues that turn a blind eye to abuse, trafficking, underage individuals... that’s a different story. Those guys can fuck right off.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-06-12T16:59:29+00:00

I was a sex worker for a few years in my younger years. There is nothing significantly different about men that visit hookers and men that don’t. Some are blithering idiots who barely function in bed. Some are smart, witty, successful people who realized they don’t have to bang the first sloppy drunk chick they can find in the bar. High end escorts >>>>> drunk bar sluts. These are professionals who get tested regularly, don’t want your baby, bring their own condoms and leave gracefully when you want the house/hotel back to yourself. Many savvy, very successful men enjoy being able to skip the bullshit.

goatismycopilot · 2018-06-12T16:15:08+00:00

I would think most men would not share that information.

DaphneDK42 · 2018-06-12T15:25:22+00:00

Here in the Netherlands it is seen as something for stupid tourists or for the lower class. So in general I look down upon them.

RockinSocksII · 2018-06-12T16:45:59+00:00

As long as they're safe about it, I don't care.

wtknight · 2018-06-12T17:14:13+00:00

Male, non Red Pill. My opinion of people who hire prostitutes and people to choose to have casual sex are the same, so long as they are having sex with overage prostitutes who chose their profession from their own free will. I think it’s fine, but inferior to having sex in a committed, loving relationship. I don’t hold any special stigma for those who hire prostitutes, and believe that it should be legal and heavily regulated.

PennnyLame · 2018-06-12T15:46:38+00:00

Female, blue.

Either way, what are you opinions on these men?

I think they should do what they want with consenting adults v far from me.

What do you think motivates them to pay for sex?

Varies, I am sure, by person.

If they sleep with a lot of prostitutes, do you think this can affect their life in a negative way?

Yes. If only financially.

Do you know anyone personally who has hired a prostitute? If so, what was their experience like/what are they like as a person?

Yes. He was a funny but unattractive guy. We were roommates and he stole a lot of money from me. Came out years later he was using it on sex workers. Looking back he was he most stereotypical person to blow thousands of dollars he didn’t have on women for hire: very overweight, unattractive face, dead end job, talked about how penis size didn’t matter, very focused on incredibly attractive women and complaining that they never liked “nice” guys like him.

Last I heard he got his shit together and got some therapy and is married with kids. Who knows though.

darla10 · 2018-06-12T17:53:09+00:00

I used judge harshly. Now, not so much. Some men can't get sex any other way. If I found out my h visited a prostitute before he met me, shrug. If he visited one now......nuclear.

lefactorybebe · 2018-06-12T17:11:40+00:00

Im a woman, blue pill. Huh, I haven't really thought about how I view men who engage prostitutes before. I think a lot of it depends on how often they use them, and for what reasons. A lonely man who sees a prostitute every once in a while I wouldn't look down upon much. There was something I saw, I can't remember if it was a TV show or if it was a true story, but it involved a widower who'd go to prostitutes. But he didn't have sex with them, he just paid for their time and laid next to them, just to have the comfort of another body near him. That shit's sad as hell and I absolutely wouldn't look down on anyone doing something like that. A man who is constantly seeing prostitutes is another story, or a man who cannot stop and is spending all his time/money on them. I'd assume there's something wrong with him.

I had a friend who had sex with a prostitute. He was like 18/19 and still a virgin, on his birthday his friends paid for a prostitute. He never saw one again, as far as I know. I don't look down on him for that, now (years later) it's just a funny story that comes up now and then.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-06-12T17:34:48+00:00

Male, purple.

I seriously don't care. If he's the kind of guy who did it just to have an experience we could share some fun stories.

If he's ugly and could only get laid by paying for it, at least he had the balls to do something about it.

In fact I'm also one of those who encourages incels to go do it because it'll help them become less neurotic about sex.

There's a guy at work I'm pretty sure is still a virgin, I told him a good escort website.

Edit: also I'm friends with a few girls who used to be escorts, not even particularly high class ones just not streetwalkers with pimps, and from what they've told me of it I don't have a negative view of the industry.

toronto87 · 2018-06-13T03:27:41+00:00

The moral high-horseness about prostitutes in a civilization where women account for ~90% of consumer spending but earn less than half the income (read: They are spending the money of the men they fuck.) is something I've never understood.

Ordinate1 · 2018-06-12T15:21:29+00:00

"Smart."

Equalina · 2018-06-12T19:00:00+00:00

Female, purple

I’ve never known anyone who paid for sex - no one who has talked about it openly, anyway! There’s a lot of stigma around it and I assume it is likely in more widespread use than it seems.

I don’t look down on any man who has ever paid for sex. I don’t think highly of a man who only pays for sex or pays for it very regularly - that kind of seems sad and certainly out of whack with my values. The ones I look down on are men who mistreat sex workers and have no respect for them - and obviously the ones who know they’re paying a victim of sex trafficking. Also men who are indiscriminate about the health of the women.

I’m sure men do it for varying reasons: not wanting or being able to get laid the ‘usual’ way; having sexual preferences they can’t have satisfied otherwise; liking the power and detachment of paying a woman to do exactly what they want; wanting physical and emotional closeness that they can indulge in but then leave after a certain period of time with no attachment on her part; wanting a physical type of woman they have no chance of being with without paying for it....

I certainly think going to a lot of sex workers is likely to negatively impact a man’s ability to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s immature and hedonistic to spend a lot of money on sex workers and they may end up having unrealistic expectations of a stable partner and unable to be monogamous. And I think the risk of picking up STDs could be quite high unless he’s extremely selective and able to pay for highly professional sex workers who are tested very regularly.

I come from New Zealand where sex work has been decriminalised quite successfully. It’s a complex issue though with many avenues for abuse and neglect of sex workers rights. I’d rather there wasn’t a real demand for sex work in a lot of ways, but as there is, I believe in making it as safe and transparent as possible to protect the workers and clients.

Of course, there are also women who use male sex workers...

Raii-v2 · 2018-06-12T19:07:32+00:00

Male - purple pill

I used to think men who hired hookers were stupid. “You want to pay a woman so that you can do most of the physical labor of fucking her, and possibly give her an orgasm? She should be paying me” attitude. But then one of my buddies joined the army and has been stationed away for civilization for what seems like ever. When he came home to visit I agreed to help him find a ho. Which was one of the funnest hilarious experiences of my life to date.

Nowadays I don’t see a huge problem with men that patronize sex vendors. You figure through all the time wasted (time = money) dinners brought (dinners = money) and movies watched (even Netflix = money), paying for the convenience of not having to wade through the trivial bs that dating culture puts men through is not a terrible idea. I have a fiancé so sex is basically free (actually since she currently makes more cash than me I’d say I’m probably making money) but paying a bit of cash so I can fuck Nicolette shea is a trade I’m willing to make.

Also there are a few of my friends that have paid for prostitutes before, bachelor parties/drunken boys nights. They’re all great people, but couldn’t afford to do lavish things like pay for sex until now. It’s an experience.

Haven’t done it yet, but likely will in the future.

L0git3x · 2018-06-12T19:53:43+00:00

Hire them to do specifically what you want. Then they leave without any drama.

Never done it but seems facinating.

rpwthrowaway2016 · 2018-06-13T03:53:16+00:00

Female, red.

Pretty sure some of my male friends have used sex workers. It's because they can't attract women IRL. They're otherwise normal in the sense that they don't hold disrespectful attitudes towards women and would like to be in an LTR, so I didn't look down on them for it.

I'm sure there are men who treat sex workers in a dehumanizing way, but like someone else mentioned, they would probably also treat one-night stands in the same way.

Would I date someone who used sex workers? I would have to consider it carefully, because I prefer to have sex in the context of a loving relationship. If it was, for example, a one-off thing because of a long dry spell, then maybe. If it was a pattern because they find it easier then trying to attract women, then probably not.

waxedmintfloss · 2018-06-14T02:56:34+00:00

Woman, sex worker, purple pill.

I have to screen pretty heavily. A lot of inquiries I get are from men I quickly determine I would never want to meet. Among the ones I do end up seeing, most are polite, some are handsome and sweet. Some have hangups which prevent them from dating, some are just in a period where they are shy/ lonely/ busy/ want to see what it's like to have sexytimes without the woman having any expectations.

So, I don't have an opinion of those men as a whole, but I will say how they treat a sex worker is a good litmus test of character, similar to observing how someone treats any marginalized group.

Sunshine12e · 2018-06-13T00:00:25+00:00

I think that there are a small amount of men who are sad cases--lonely, lacking social skills, physically unattractive, and those men hire prostitutes because they cannot otherwise convince any woman to have sex with them. I think that the rest of the men who pay for sex simply do not see women as actual people, do not care about potential consequences, and have no problem using people for their own gain. I know many men who have paid for sex and they are narcissistic, self absorbed and think of women as property rather than actual human beings. Many men living in the USA from countries such as India, Pakistan, Iran, Afghanistan, etc. Are really not that secretive about their use of prostitution, and have had a few try to offer me payment (thinking that most western women are easy/to be used for sex/etc.). While traveling to certain countries outside of the USA, I have been through places where men from the USA, Italy, England and other European countries are very open about paying for sex (seems that men hide it around their own people, but in a foreign place where they have no familial and social ties, they no longer hide anything). I think that overall, these men are very selfish and entitled people.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-06-12T16:03:30+00:00

I'm a female, and I have some pretty radical views on sex work.

I think that if it were legal AND socially acceptable, the world would be a better place. There's potential for it to be legalized, but getting the majority to accept it is different.

Imagine a society where beautiful young women between the ages of 18 and 23 are ENCOURAGED to do sex work, rather than jump right into higher education or entry level jobs. Imagine that, as a beautiful young woman, you could use the best years of your looks to put away enough money to pay off a college degree later, or to make a downpayment on a house. However, because of how society views sex workers (and women with high n counts in general) if this scenario were to happen today, these women would not be able to get married and have children later on, which is a shame, because I look at giving the best years of your body to the men of your country as a civil service and something honorable.

What about men, what do they get out of this? Well, if sex work was legal and regulated, men could satisfy their desires without worrying about being caught, or about contracting diseases. Hopefully, prices would be affordable if the industry was a free market. And if women were encouraged to spend their prime years doing sex work, that means more men would get the opportunity to have sex with women in their prime, which would make men happy.

If men are getting laid regularly even if they can't get married, they don't need to act out. Rates of violence and aggression will drop. Men will be happier and healthier overall.

The big issue though, is... how does humanity overcome seeing prostitutes as dirty and unclean, and instead see them as providing a valuable service?

sublimemongrel · 2018-06-12T16:20:16+00:00

I look down on them. It is icky to me. However I live in the US so maybe in a more prostitute “enlightened” country it’s just seen as another type of service.

If it’s a dude who just wants to finally lose it and wants a safe space to do so and it’s done legally, I would probably judge him less, although I would not want to date him.

Yes I know of men who visit pros, I go to Vegas fairly often and they are everywhere. I do not know which men personally do this but I know the type and it’s often married older men (from what I’m told so that’s second hand info keep in mind).

philomexa · 2018-06-12T18:13:58+00:00

Ew. Gross. Next.

The men who use prostitutes because "they'll leave" are vanishingly small compared to the sad sacks who use prostitutes because they can't get a woman (or get a woman to preform 'deviant acts') by sheer physical attraction.

And that's not even getting into the whole stomach churning idea of men willfully and knowingly (happily?) using trafficked/drugged/underage prostitutes. Its commodification at its worst, and lays bare the repulsive/rapey side of men's sexuality.

0/10, SMV and RMV suicide.

and no, I don't really care about the opinions of ethical prostitutes or women who choose sex work, nor do I care about differentiating my opinion based on legality (hint, it doesn't change).

If men can be irrationally repulsed by sluts, then I'm free to be irrationally repulsed by men who use prostitutes.

ETA: female, purple.

Feyra · 2018-06-12T15:34:42+00:00

Maybe because they are sad losers who can’t get a girl, maybe because they like to choreograph sex without feeling guilty, maybe it’s a power thing.

Maybe adding "etc.." would be a good idea, because I can think of other reasons. ;)

Either way, what are you opinions on these men?

"Either" suggests two options, yet you gave three. Though choreographing sex can be lumped under being a power thing, so I'll let it slide. ;)

To answer the question, I really don't care. If a sex worker wants to sell their body and someone wants to pay for that service, it's none of my business.

What do you think motivates them to pay for sex?

Personally, I think the motivation is sexual pleasure with another person without all of the bullshit that comes with obtaining it "normally". I've little doubt there are other motivations, but I'd be a bit surprised if they were statistically significant.

If they sleep with a lot of prostitutes, do you think this can affect their life in a negative way?

I honestly don't know, and don't feel qualified to even speculate. That seems like an excellent topic for a study.

Do you know anyone personally who has hired a prostitute?

No, and given the stigma it has that's unsurprising.

[deleted] · 2018-06-12T18:10:30+00:00

I think they're the type to pay for a cup of water at a restaurant.

In other words theyre suckers.

Vagina aint worth no money, it's free.

S1imdragxn · 2018-06-12T19:15:57+00:00

My opinion of men who use sex workers is just neutral

My opinion of sex workers is quite high. I like that they’re women who bother to learn the art of what men like. It sets good examples for hetero romance without gynocentric moralizing

My ultimate goal is to develop relationships with women that want to be personal sluts

It’s kinda like how the giant water slide at the water park is awesome af, but how cool would it be if you had one yourself at your house?

Being public property is the one Nono for entering a relationship with me so I’ll never marry a sex worker or a regular slut (de facto unskilled sex worker)

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quicklogaccount · 2018-06-12T16:48:20+00:00

Male.
Prostitution is legal here, I don't give a lot of shits whether a man hires them or not. I'd look down on a regular user that let me know about it, but I think lower of regular weed users or weed activists.

Raiil · 2018-06-12T17:57:52+00:00

I don't particularly care, tbh, but I've known a fair number of sex workers, or former sex workers, so I got a lot of their perspective on things.

Willow-girl · 2018-06-12T18:07:02+00:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures!

newName543456 · 2018-06-13T05:08:14+00:00

Almost all men technically pay for sex, so not sure of why the double standard, when main difference is being explicit about transactionality.

xrorox_rp · 2018-06-15T12:52:29+00:00

I read some MGTOW about that point, there were basically saying they could bang 7-8 whenever they wanted skipping bullshit.

[deleted] · 2018-06-15T18:20:24+00:00

Guys who pay for prostitutes because they are not attractive to women wouldn't be on my radar in the first place so it wouldn't change anything one way or another I guess. I'd literally think nothing of them.

Superfluous_Toast · 2018-06-16T14:23:28+00:00

I don't care, as long as they wear a condom.

I_poop_in_The_Dark · 2018-06-21T12:58:05+00:00

This type of post is exactly the bias I was talking about in the locked thread. You're overly concerned with the sexual habits of men you've never met because you're bitter and pathetic. Get a life, loser. lol

[deleted] · 2018-06-12T15:33:45+00:00

Male, red pill.

My opinion of men who hire hookers is that most of them can't get sex any other way; or they can't get the kinds of sex they want from the woman/women who do have sex with them. This is what motivates them to pay for sex.

Yes, sleeping with a lot of hookers will eventually net them an STD and probably lead to a sex addiction. Unless they hire high class very expensive hookers with an established selective clientele.

No, I don't know anyone personally who has hired a hooker, or at least whom I know has hired a hooker. Most men don't reveal this, even amongst men who pay top dollar for expensive "escorts".

Tookthemethpill · 2018-06-12T15:35:38+00:00

Red Pill male

Everyone has their vice. I think guys that use prostitutes probably can’t get women utilizing game and don’t have good enough looks to attract women regardless of personality. Maybe that means they are losers to you, but I think they just have a high sex drive and are trying to get what they are looking for in their current environment the “easy” way. They may or may not have put effort into self improvement.

Personally I have a very low sex drive and will not pay for a prostitute. I barely even masturbate anymore. My vice is marijuana and gambling.

[deleted] · 2018-06-12T15:36:58+00:00

I usually assume they make more money then me, or that they don't and they are implusive spenders.

It sounds great, but unless your rolling in the dough it's cheaper to use tinder

belletaco · 2018-06-12T17:42:28+00:00

I go back and forth on my feelings towards sex work in general. If I was into someone and they told me they had hired prostitutes in the past, I'd probably back away. I know one person who hired a prostitute in Romania when on vacation, a bunch of guys hired one woman and it was pretty gross to me (on their part, mostly).

sometimespredictable · 2018-06-12T19:15:02+00:00

I'm a dude. In between, I guess.

To be honest, my opinion is kinda low. I don't think it's morally bad or anything. I think it's sad. Not being able to find a woman is sad. Not being able to find a woman so paying someone to simulate the act is sadder.

My opinion would change if I knew it's a guy who can get women but gets a prostitute for the experience, for example to do something he can't do normally like a thressome.

jonascf · 2018-06-12T21:10:39+00:00

I pity them.

Am male.

Electra_Cute · 2018-06-12T15:37:03+00:00

Disgusting people

HarpyMaster · 2018-06-12T17:33:36+00:00

Disgusting, no matter the reason. Even worse if he hides it. Men, you cant have it both ways. You cant hide visiting a pro yet urging for prostitution be legalized. You know it would gross all women out and you'd be shooting yourself in the foot. Sorry not sorry.

theiamsamurai · 2018-06-12T16:41:14+00:00

I think men who hire hookers are unfortunate victims who are stuck in a cycle, just like heroin addicts.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-06-12T20:12:17+00:00

shame shame shame

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-06-12T16:27:21+00:00

Rapists. thats what they are. buying a woman's body is rape. i dont care if his wife is dead-bedrooming him. i dont care that he never kissed a girl. he buys the body of a vulnerable woman. he's a rapist and a monster that cares only about his feefee.

Title	Q4all: what is your opinion of men who hire prostitutes?
Author	briarrose268
Upvotes	4
Comments	191
Date	June 12, 2018 3:19 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8qjrg5/q4all_what_is_your_opinion_of_men_who_hire/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-is-your-opinion-of-men-who-hire.261962 https://theredarchive.com/post/261962

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