If a woman shares her sexual history with a partner and it causes the partner to leave, then it's not a partner you want

Same-Bad · 2020-01-25T22:12:48+00:00

"If a woman shares her sexual history with a partner and it causes the partner to leave, then it's not a partner you want"

Right and the man made the decision for her by leaving first.

whynot1871 · 2020-01-25T22:51:16+00:00

So no matter what your history is, if he is repulsed by it he's a immature loser?

Darkseeker_Mau · 2020-01-26T03:09:08+00:00

you should be happy that you found out that he's a petty, insecure loser.

"Hey honey, I used to fuck all kinds of women before knowing you, I mean, I lost count."

"Wow, I didn't want to hear that, I think that sex is not a casual and random thing, I don't like men that have sex with a lot of women, normally those men have problems connecting with women later."

"Lol, thank you for showing me what an insecure loser you are, what are you, a femcel or some shit?"

acenosk · 2020-01-25T22:18:07+00:00

Is there some situation in which a true "HVM" would leave a quality relationship exclusively because of your sexual history?

Yes, you don't really wanna end up with an idiot who gets easily pumped and dumped by attractive dudes.

Million-Suns · 2020-01-26T05:28:20+00:00

He is not mature. he's a petty, insecure loser.

Stop it. Useless shaming tactic.

That just means that it they're not sexually compatible. If a man leaves because her partner's sexual history, it only means that he has boundaries and it's a deal breaker. That does not mean he is an insecure loser.

So if never know about that past, does that mean all of a sudden that he was actually mature?

Stupidest reasoning ever.

Also, if the woman hides her sexual past, that says more about her own insecurities than her partner's.

Jathrowaway97 · 2020-01-25T22:36:20+00:00

Gotta love sluts. Hamstering their way into thinking a man's disgust for their sluttery is due to his immaturity... Not a gut reaction to the cum receptacle he's dating lmao.

HeckleandChide · 2020-01-26T01:08:38+00:00

This takes the cake for the dumbest post I've ever read on this sub. It's impressively stupid on every level.

Newsflash OP: people have opinions on what they like, don't like, will tolerate, and won't tolerate. And that doesn't automatically make them "not mature" or a "petty, insecure loser" or whatever other nonsense you come up with.

Let's deal though specifically with why this is ridiculous. Prior performance is one of the best indicators of future performance. It's literally what scientific testing is based on... shit happened this way under these circumstances so we can assume that under similar circumstances in the future, it will happen again.

So, to use an extreme, if a dude meets a chick that has ridden every cock in town while cheating on her boyfriends, that should be an automatic nope from him. That's one example that proves OP's point is full of shit. There are plenty of others.

This is either a legbeard troll post or a neckbeard white knight post and I'm too lazy / uninterested to investigate OP's history to find out which.

Next.

gunbusterxl · 2020-01-25T23:15:39+00:00

Every time I come back to this sub, it somehow got worse than when I left. Stay classy r/PPD.

FatmanSlim93 · 2020-01-26T04:25:56+00:00

Or people have different views about sex that should be discussed and not mocked idk maybe I’m just crazy. Just because I don’t wanna date someone doesn’t mean I’m insecure, it means they value sex differently and I want someone who feels the same.

Silas1067 · 2020-01-26T06:03:12+00:00

women don't want to be held accountable for anything, and it is virtually impossible for them to apologize: so everything becomes an episode in some abstract "past".

and then we try to pretend this past has no effect on the present or future

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-01-25T22:00:09+00:00

those stories are always foreigners and women tryna pretend to be christian now

AnarchoNAP · 2020-01-26T01:30:26+00:00

Yeah, fuck men for having the simplest of standards on something you have complete control over.

Whisper · 2020-01-26T05:58:20+00:00

You are giving men far too much credit for altruism.

Men don't leave because they aren't what that woman wants. They leave because that woman isn't what they want.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-01-26T14:52:49+00:00

One of the many things you never have to deal with if you just sleep with guys right away

FatmanSlim93 · 2020-01-26T02:17:58+00:00

Agreed. There is no reason to stay if it is something you can't ultimately live with. To me, I would probably have ongoing trouble being intimate with a man who has been with many women because I would always know it doesn't mean the same thing to him as it does to me.

Jaooooeee · 2020-01-25T21:53:18+00:00

If she hides it i would most likely not say mine aswell then but hiding such a thing won't make me not want to ask her to do a std/hiv test and i would do it with her

power_cleaner · 2020-01-25T23:05:42+00:00

I’ve always been skeptical in validity of these posts. However I’ve noticed in the past commenters used to say the man needs to be a man to his princess and stop being misogynistic. Whereas guys are saying the guy is in the right is downvoted. Now I notice most of the time the top comments side with the guy. I guess more people are waking up.

TheJim66 · 2020-01-26T00:33:25+00:00

Women ,please follow that brilliant woman's logic and start telling the truth about your n count!

NeedingAdvice86 · 2020-01-26T00:27:27+00:00

Problem is that the high quality men they ultimately want will ALL have that reaction.....

Only the most really lost want to be tied down the Dance Club Masta slayer for their entire life....he was cool for those 4 weeks summer 21yo but they freak out thinking about being 30yo married to the dudes who highest value quality was his ability to rave to a decade old East coast rap...

But moving on to the attractive go-getter who doesn't spend 40 hours a week swilling cheap beers in a smelly club..becomes problematic because that successful dude doesn't want to take the Club Ho home to meet the grandmother...only to find out she fucked Cousin Chuck, Uncle Billy and about half the other people at GramGrams 90th birthday bash.

i_cri_evry_tim · 2020-01-26T10:12:24+00:00

Lol.

“If you bf doesn’t accept whatever you have done in the past, he is immature.”

cxj · 2020-01-26T18:56:23+00:00

High value men are socially intelligent enough to figure out on their own which women are promiscuous and filter them out for LTRs, or upon making an error doing this, end the LTR stating other reasons than n count (“the chemistry just isn’t there”).

So you’re kind of right, a guy stating n count as his reason for rejecting a woman probably isn’t “high value” but that doesn’t mean high value men accept any woman’s sexual history, they just don’t publicly state it

41013 · 2020-01-25T23:07:39+00:00

The correct number of partners for a woman to have is 0

tiposk · 2020-01-25T22:12:50+00:00

I go by the don't ask policy, but at the same time I strive for authenticity. I don't paint myself as a virginal woman. Men I've been with, including my boyfriend, know that I might have been slutty. Men who have a problem with this don't approach me.

Also, I've only been asked about my past by two guys. Both of them insisted in knowing numbers and details. Both had a madonna whore complex and expected a good girl while they ran around the town. I eventually dumped one of them and didn't start a relationship with the second one because I discovered he had a fiancee in a different country. Oh the irony!

To answer your question, a HVM men is someone i'm compatible with and someone I feel attracted to. I don't want to date someone with hang ups.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-01-25T22:39:55+00:00

I always said/thought that I could handle anything a woman I'd realistically meet and actually hook with would throw at me. I had one give me a hard reality check on that pretty recently. I even checked your history to make sure you weren't her messing with me.

I have to admit there are levels to sexuality that will change my view about you, or lose some respect for yours. Probably everybody has some line that you just get turned off or disgusted by.

Maybe I'm just manstering (male hamstering?) but I think it ultimately come down to the kind of person you think has that kind of sex, more than the actual sex itself. I get a lot of guys want low N women, I only chime in to argue when they say, "high N people can't pair bond" b/c I think that's BS. I just think certain types of people just aren't wired to really pair bond. And some sex acts say more negative about you in other ways, depending on other's points of views.

TL;DR: I want to agree with you, but there are always exceptions, well to almost anything anyway. Everybody has a line they can't cross, and will look at anybody who does side-eyed.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-26T02:37:02+00:00

Every man who I have told I am bisexual and have had 3somes was always more interested, not less. Sure there are outlier men who can’t stand the thought of their women being sexual before they met, but it’s best to avoid those men. They are usually controlling and insecure. And I do not think I have even met one since college. Mr. Paisley have occasionally discussed our past histories and have high fived each other if we have had similar experiences.

hammerhaunts · 2020-01-26T03:47:55+00:00

He is not mature and something is going to make you hate him eventually anyway.

"Mature"?

SqueaksScreech · 2020-01-26T03:50:33+00:00

My boyfriend and I are comfortable enough to not really make n count a big deal. My n count was higher than his when we met and got together. His is now higher than mine. I was the one to mention the free pass amd set rules.

Real-Area · 2020-01-26T05:48:35+00:00

I am bi and I have seen both women and men be upset about their partner's sexual history, more so with men, but I find it's because they aren't experienced, have insecurities, virgin-fetish, sex-negative outlook, or religious reasoning behind it. Which if they are a good person and want to work to accept that people have lived experiences before a relationship than this is positive progress. Everyone is at a different emotional intelligence level, and it can be harder for some to identify the root reason why they are upset so I think if this is a partner who can stay respectful but who is hurt over this, then it is okay to be in a relationship with them and work it out.

To me, having past partners is not only no-ones business but it's not something anyone should feel ashamed about or pressured to talk about. There is a lot of people who pay for sex (usually men) and to me, if a partner did that in the past I don't think I have the right to know or judge.

Sexual health is the most important, I would be more interested if they are updated on being tested, are educated on sexual health and take the proper precautions to maintain their health. That is more significant to me than past partners.

eternitypasses · 2020-01-26T06:41:42+00:00

If a woman shares her sexual history and it is not what the guy is looking for, then she’s not the partner he wants. Can we stop acting like only men care about sexual history? As a woman, I don’t wanna be with a guy with a high n count because it says a lot about their personality and who they are and it’s not what I personally want.

WiterS2 · 2020-01-26T07:14:18+00:00

Neither she is the partner he wants.

nasuits90 · 2020-01-26T07:28:21+00:00

OP copied my exact post from a while back but okay...

jigglypuff__0 · 2020-01-26T15:06:04+00:00

This thread is utterly hilarious. I thought this post was a weak attempt to try to convince women to reveal their CC riding pasts. I thought the men would be all over this.

But dudes couldn’t even keep their shit together for the hypothetical. “I’m immature? For not being with a WHORE?!”

Down vote me and call me names all you want. But this is exactly why women lie OP. And for the record I do think good men will forego a good woman if she tells him she fucked hella guys in the past. That’s why you don’t talk about it or stick to one number. Preferably- don’t talk about it.

And stop coping with “YoUlL be SorrY whEn youRe caUght”. One, my partner never asked me my number so there’s nothing to catch. Two unless every guy I’ve ever fucked lines up and introduced himself to my bf (most were abroad anyway) he’ll never know just like I’ll never know his number and neither of us care.

This is how I think relationships should be personally.

SnowHatesWome · 2020-01-25T23:27:35+00:00

Just don’t make anyone your wife/gf till you’ve had you’re fair share of women, and then meet some young girl who is less experienced.

FatmanSlim93 · 2020-01-26T00:56:20+00:00

Agreed op.

I prefer my partner to be experienced and would be more wary of a woman with a low number. Sex is both fun and complicated and it takes a while to figure things out.

Any man who is put off by this is insecure and jealous and likely to have a plethora of other undesirable traits like possessiveness.

I know this is not an opinion many men share though so I see why women are guarded.

Redpiller77 · 2020-01-26T02:19:11+00:00

Being disgusted by whores has nothing to do with being immature. I don't even care of women chose to do it, and right now I'm enjoying them. But if I want to start a family I'm obviously not going to look for one of them. It's a matter of preference.

But I agree, women should be honest about it. There are men who don't care after all, why stay with one that does?

Edit: and it isn't hypocritical to be promiscuous and expect a low n-count partner, as long as both are in the same page.

WIA20XX · 2020-01-26T03:41:32+00:00

He's not a high value man if he can't handle your past.

Why should a woman have to stifle herself just to preserve some man's ego?

A high quality woman can't build with a weak minded man.

honestgoing · 2020-01-25T23:03:53+00:00

For me, I've decided to play Madonna in the Madonna whore thing.

Why? Risk reward.

I don't see a benefit to being honest, and I see a lot of risk to being honest.

It's possibly the case that all men have an inherit bias against women who have slept with many men as a strategy to ensure children they invest time in are theirs.

Even though I don't want kids and don't want someone who want kids, I think that inherit bias remains. I think it's just how men are as an evolutionary consequence and even good men judge this - if you refuse to tell, they'll think you have something to hide.

My number is 3 but I can't imagine I'll ever admit to more than age/10 + 1.

Pola_Lita · 2020-01-25T22:30:09+00:00

Yep.

lilsaihah · 2020-01-26T05:29:12+00:00

On the one hand I very much support women being honest about their sexual history. You don't need to go out of your way to tell them your kill list (unless you're a convicted pedophile and you're legally obligated to, but I think that's not quite what you're going for) but don't lie about it. I also very much support you treating the rejection like it's no big deal.

On the other hand this is pure shaming. You can fuck right off with that; guys are allowed to have their standards and expectations just as much as women are. You mightn't like the language, but guys aren't obligated to be your exit ramp from the CC.

GreenSatyr · 2020-01-26T06:58:24+00:00

A lot of y'all salty about the fact that yes, people can and do use your beliefs and worldview to determine your desirability.

Even many rational people with low or no sexual partners would not want to date someone who values a low sexual partner count, because that shows you have a broken worldview.

Zippo-Cat · 2020-01-26T07:13:18+00:00

Let's take this to its logical conclusion:

If a partner leaves you for any reason it's not the partner you want.

Trite. Useless.

acron5n5 · 2020-01-26T07:19:37+00:00

We still live in a society and there are some norms, more or less spoken/unspoken. It is obvious every adult person has past and you, especially as a guy, simply don't want to hear about your partner's exes. Some things are not to be shared, but if you have another opinion and your partner couldn't accept something as little as this, well you're not compatible.

Is there some situation in which a true "HVM" would leave a quality relationship exclusively because of your sexual history?

Being an HVM is about having options and thus standards, some of which could be connected with the sexual past. It is a low value man who doesn't leave relationship even if this makes him unhappy.

P.S. If you don't mind what are your thoughts of a 'high value woman' leaving relationship upon finding out her partner was a virgin before meeting her? Guess you're gonna be less judgmental about it.

2020-01-26T08:03:25+00:00

Screening for past behaviour indicates standards so I dunno. Do you not screen guys for their past behaviour?

poppy_blu · 2020-01-26T04:17:02+00:00

Part of the problem here is millennials need to overshare and brag to the world about every little detail of their lives is coming back to bite them in the ass.

Millennial women, take a cue from your elders. Decorum and delicacy are virtues. You don’t need to tell him everything. It’s not sexy and its not impressive. Part of maintaining attraction LT is mystery.

FatmanSlim93 · 2020-01-26T03:43:51+00:00

[deleted]

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Title	If a woman shares her sexual history with a partner and it causes the partner to leave, then it's not a partner you want
Author	MuscleT
Upvotes	12
Comments	229
Date	January 25, 2020 9:48 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/etx774/if_a_woman_shares_her_sexual_history_with_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-a-woman-shares-her-sexual-history-with-a.315319 https://theredarchive.com/post/315319

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