How attracted do you have to be to a woman to be sexually aroused by her

AllInWithAces · 2021-03-04T02:02:42+00:00

Erections make poor barometers for arousal. If I had a long day or a hard workout, my dick might decide no thanks. If I smell a good taco, I might get a boner.

You’d be shocked how often the two are out of synch.

ItsOKToSayUrWelcome · 2021-03-04T01:18:02+00:00

If the lights are off and there’s enough alcohol, anything is possible I guess.

Don’t know why I’d be in bed with somebody I don’t find attractive to begin with though.

fat_dick_jones · 2021-03-04T02:34:43+00:00

I used to have sex with any girl that said yes, I'd often have trouble keeping an erection and thought it was due to the famous "porn induced ED" phenomenon going on.

Then I had sex with a hot girl and suddenly no ED, and I was able to finish multiple times and enjoyed it 200 times more. Now I only have sex with hot girls.

Barely-moral · 2021-03-04T01:19:39+00:00

How low on your personal 1-10 before lying next to a woman won’t cause you to become erect?

3/10, any woman that is at least a 4/10 is someone I find sexually attractive. The ammount of women that are below that 4/10 line is negligible. Most women on earth can easily reach that bar.

Say you’re lying in bed next to a woman. If you are not attracted to her at all

The only way that happens is if she is below a 4/10. If she is at least a 4/10 then I am already attracted to her.

Let’s say it wasn’t someone egregiously unattractive, just like, not your preference.

So I am attracted to her then.

DP8414 · 2021-03-04T02:42:33+00:00

I was in this situation with a woman once, and I did in fact manage to get a hard on while laying in bed next to her in her underwear. So yeah, its possible for me to be aroused by laying next to a woman without me being attracted to her. I don’t want to give out numbers because I’m not entirely sure where I fall myself, but if I wasn’t attracted to her, then she must be less conventionally attractive than me.

stranglethebars · 2021-03-04T03:56:33+00:00

If I am "not attracted to her at all", why would being in her proximity give me an erection? Is that even possible? Or did I misinterpret something?

It's difficult to explain by means of a 1-10 scale. I don't have any very clear preferences in the first place (like brunettes vs. blondes, fit vs. chubby etc.). It's a question of how womanly her appearance is. The more manly she is, the less likely I am to get an erection, but there are many ways in which to be feminine!

SherbertBacon · 2021-03-04T05:19:18+00:00

This is too one-dimensional of a question. Sexual arousal is inspired by both generalized sex drive as well as focused (romantic) attractions.

If you are not attracted to her at all, will just being so close to her cause you to get an erection?

Sometimes. But also, physical arousal isn't the same as desire. That's why you can have rapists (male or female) who use your physical response as a sign that you "actually want more." It's got nothing to do with their attractiveness or lack thereof, if they're next to you and prompting things.

How low on your personal 1-10 before lying next to a woman won’t cause you to become erect?

Irrelevant, to be honest. I get hard just waking up in the morning with nobody next to me. And the whole "whisky dick" urban term isn't just mythology. You can be laying next to Kate Upton, but if you're too drunk and prone to whisky dick, nothing's budging.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-03-04T03:48:10+00:00

Men and women decide under 1/2 second whether they'd do someone or not.

Women call it "muh chemistry".

Men say "I'd hit that."

lestratege · 2021-03-04T02:20:58+00:00

I get a morning boner on my own without anyone around.

A girl who would kill a boner has to be real ugly if she's already willing. Or she's got to have a real issue.

Women have to be turned on to have sex. Men just don't have to be turned off.

That's why men, even Chads have no issue with fucking 80% of women. Even if means flipping her to not see her face or concentrating on her breasts to forget the rest.

reluctantly_red · 2021-03-04T01:33:18+00:00

How much beer is involved?

Brainless-Wonder · 2021-03-04T12:08:14+00:00

I might be in the outlier for men here, but due to a lot of factors I can’t just up and be attracted to someone like that. I have to like something about a person before thinking about sex, it’s a trust thing for me. I’ve drunkenly slept in the same bed with women and not even felt anything close to arousal despite her nudging. I don’t want a stranger all up on me.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-03-04T13:49:34+00:00

Not very. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not aroused at all and 10 being "we are fucking RIGHT NOW", I'd say 4.

just_a_place · 2021-03-04T23:01:53+00:00

I have had crushes on girls that I am not sexually attracted to. I never got a chance with either of them but just from the fact that I had a crush on them my lizard brain would come up with any and all excuses to find them sexually attractive even when under other circumstances they were not.

So on a level from 1 to 10 I would have to be emotionally attracted to her at least a 8 in order to get sexually aroused by a girl who is at least a 4 on the looks department. I can't feel sexual attraction for any girl from a 3 and below. Because at a 3 it means a girl is bordering on deformed and mentally handicapped territory.

There are two scales you're talking about here: Crush scale and Sex Scale. The sex scale is how sexually attractive a girl is without knowing anything else about her other than just her looks. The Crush scale is when you know everything about a girl except her looks.

For me on a crush scale a girl would have to be at least a 8 so that my sex scale can go a slow as a 4. Without having any feelings for a girl she would have to be a 8 and above on the sex scale for me to get aroused by her.

So in conclusion it does help immensely if we actually like a girl if she's not all that physically attractive. A girl who is a 4 physically can easily turn into a 7 if she has the cutest and most feminine personality but then you have to keep in mind that men can't see personality up front. This is where a girl has to make herself known first. Girls who are physically attractive only have the time advantage because they are instantly attractive just by appearance. Girls with hot personalities need to just be given time to grow on a man. The disadvantage of physically hot girls is that when men find out their true personality they start to regret it vs girls who are ugly at first and have good personality actually grow on a man and he feels like he is just barely discovering her and has more to discover over time with her.

Key-Philosophy-525 · 2021-03-04T01:39:55+00:00

If she's in her bra and panties on my bed and we're a bit buzzed or whatever. Gotta be at least 80% of 18 - 30 year old women.

The women we WOULDN'T smash would be the exception. They'd have to be really grotesque or off putting.

abaxeron · 2021-03-04T01:45:42+00:00

If she's warm, smooth to the touch (not covered in burns/scars/...), has reliably feminine voice, not morbidly obese, doesn't smell bad, and lights are off, I'll instantly sprrrrring to attention if she touches me right.

Unless we're close friends and I see her as almost a sibling.

n3waccount2020 · 2021-03-04T01:21:27+00:00

Girl had a 8/10 body (dancer and gymnast) but a probably 3/10 face

I declined and couldn't get hard

Maybe I'm gay idk

Face>body for me I guess. I've fucked plenty of skinny pretty chicks instead

zeedoctorzee · 2021-03-04T03:47:39+00:00

Going purely off physical looks 2 is a maybe if I can find some body parts on her I find attractive or am able to distract myself from the parts I dislike totally would need the lights off though. 3 is usually good enough if I like her. 4 is the happy sweet spot where I will rarely have any issue. One big thing as others have discussed though is arousal is not purely dependent on your partners looks their are tons of other factors such as if I am tired from work, how long since I last got laid, how into it/you she is, if I am feeling well physically and am not stressed, etc. In addition to that erections don't necessarily mean arousal or that I want sex it can either be a physical reaction or just what the body decides to do at that time.

wtknight · 2021-03-04T01:50:33+00:00

If I don't have feelings for her then I'm not going to be aroused next to her in bed, so I'm kind of an exception among guys. I'm only potentially attracted to women who I think are at least equal or maybe close to equal in physical attractiveness to myself. I consider my physical attractiveness to be average. So I guess my answer would be "slightly below average attractiveness."

I can get aroused by porn, but that's not the same thing to me. I consider it more like the visual equivalent of a woman reading an erotica novel than me having actual attraction to the women who I see in porn.

love_superspreader · 2021-03-04T02:30:19+00:00

it depends on how much porn i watched that month. 0? 100% erect. current rate? i cant even get it up with porn.

porn saves the day once again.

r/bornToCoom

EffectiveBlackCat · 2021-03-06T04:26:16+00:00

Just needs to be slim or healthy BMI (18.5-24.9) with decent hygiene for me. A less than pretty face can grow on me. Can't get turned on by fat chicks. The average American woman is 5'4 170pounds, that's a BMI of 29.8. That's far too fat for me.

ToraChan23 · 2021-03-08T15:43:06+00:00

Just physically: boner and sex

Physically and mentally: long lasting boner and great sex

CandleLess · 2021-03-08T16:38:25+00:00

I have made the mistake of hooking up with a girl who's probably like a 3/10 and I was able to not only get an erection, but cum from head. So I don't need to be very attracted to her

This was in the dark though so that helped

VoiceOfTheMillenium · 2021-03-09T09:54:39+00:00

Idk mate, erections are a bit random to talk like that.

DreysunTheOne · 2021-03-14T18:26:54+00:00

the hardest my dick has ever been, is when i pole vault out of my bed, she could be a solid -1/30 and be at the right place at the wrong time.

seriously though, if shes actually trying to be attractive (the voice, intimate contact, a vibe of want) she would have to be severely over weight or deformed to fail to seduce me given we are already in a bed together.

on a 1-10 ill say that you would have to legit be 2-1 to be unable to get me aroused in anyway

Notsonewguy7 · 2021-03-04T13:49:39+00:00

Every guy is different I mean it's not a hard number you can place on something like that. But for me I have to think you're beyond cute.

Now you can take everything I say with a grain of salt because I'm going to say something that might be slightly controversial here that don't mean to be controversial but here it goes.

I have a racial bias in what I find hot but I don't have a racial bias in what I find cute so there's a lot of women who belong to ethnicities that I don't find hot but I look at them and I can see that they're cute being cute's not enough.

Artlovenbeauty · 2021-03-04T03:15:56+00:00

[deleted]

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-03-04T03:11:01+00:00

It depends on the guy, there is too much variation on this.

Men experience arousal incongruity, just not as often as women. Men also experience responsive desire, again just not as often as women.

Workaholiconew · 2021-03-04T14:10:46+00:00

Let’s say it wasn’t someone egregiously unattractive, just like, not your preference. How low on your personal 1-10 before lying next to a woman won’t cause you to become erect?

Less than 2/10, I think. Those women are usually or either obese, grossly deformed and/or extremely old. Otherwise, it may be possible to be aroused. Just not maybe enough to get an erection.

On that note.

ERECTIONS ARE NOT THE SAME AS SEXUAL AROUSAL

Erections can be a sign of arousal, but they are not that.

We have some control over our erections, and sometimes they work (or do not work) without our arousal, you know? If men got an erection every time they were sexually aroused,most young men would be hard almost 24/7 (and that would hurt like hell)

Erections are somewhat like your heartbeat, you have certain control over it (by for example imagining you are afraid of something) and you sometimes have no control over it (when you want to calm down, but you can't). Same thing. But with another blood filled organ.

I am almost 30 too, so being sexually attracted, and sexually aroused are not only becoming more infrequent as I quite literally age. But I do not feel it being as strong either. I can imagine a man over 40-50 would have difficulties being sexually aroused/erect at all.

EusticeSymington · 2021-03-04T01:32:55+00:00

Been attracted to countless women: only loved one.

AutoModerator · 2021-03-04T01:09:42+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hoopy223 · 2021-03-04T01:24:12+00:00

How drunk and how horny am I?

rivetcitymayor · 2021-03-04T02:44:58+00:00

Shittt there’s this girl at work who likes me but I don’t so I never tried to court her but if I was lying in bed with her tho, I would definitely get hard and fuck her if she wanted ..no 🧢

Artlovenbeauty · 2021-03-04T03:15:05+00:00

[deleted]

TimelessMystic · 2021-03-04T05:38:43+00:00

If I'm laying in bed next to a woman, that means I'm either already attracted to her sexually or we are just chilling in bed being best buddies. If it's just innocent hanging out with no indication of intimacy happening, then I'm not getting erect. A thought might cross my mind of this being a good opportunity to do something, but that's more about myself playing out the fantasy. If there's an indication of intimacy, it all depends on how she acts and how passionate she is.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-03-04T05:42:13+00:00

Huh? Just being close wouldn't make me hard.

Being touched would, regardless of how ugly she was if i didn't think about it.

If i did, then probably anything under a 6 or 7 would make me soft. I have high standards (and missed out on a lot of casual sex opportunities when i was in the game because of it -- and that's ok! No issues. I am well aware that's the reason).

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-03-04T05:53:42+00:00

4/10 is enough for me if we were in a relationship. If she is to fat then it really needs serious effort to get hard.

General guideline is that i'm way more aroused in a commited relationship.

jakethegreatwhite · 2021-03-04T08:43:51+00:00

Men can get hard over a piece of wood, does it mean we're intrested in fucking it? No

geyejoe7 · 2021-03-04T09:44:06+00:00

If she isn't a 7, I'm not getting an erection from just seeing her.

If we're actually dating, she's gonna have to be a 5-6 to date me and only then would I get a boner from laying next to her for example.

I wouldn't date girls below a 5. There's just no point. If they aren't attractive, I don't want them lol.

And if women apply the same to me, that's completely fair and fine.

PissedBlackGuy · 2021-03-04T20:11:44+00:00

I guess I can answer here... During a dry spell I tried to have sex with several overweight women from Tinder, pretty faces but still fat. I guess they accepted fast because I was fitter than them.

And I couldn't get it up, even though I almost desperately wanted to fuck. So yeah, I guess I am one of the few who needs to be really attracted to get aroused.

Men who don't like ONS and have standards do exist.

Logry · 2021-03-05T08:38:39+00:00

I don't understand the words you use.

LucyLoo152 · 2021-03-05T15:50:31+00:00

Ok, what can be going on if your male partner is a an 8 and you are maybe a 6-7 and you are in a long term relationship and sleep every night in the same bed and he doesn’t ever seem to get an erection and rejects your advances when you initiate? What possible reasons could there be for this?

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-03-04T02:20:30+00:00

Not much. She just has to be sexually attractive. I don't need a montage of her doing things in my head to be sexually aroused by her.

If you are not attracted to her at all, will just being so close to her cause you to get an erection?

Nope.

Let’s say it wasn’t someone egregiously unattractive, just like, not your preference. How low on your personal 1-10 before lying next to a woman won’t cause you to become erect?

If she's attractive, I'm more likely to already be thinking/have thought about doing things with her, so if she's not attractive to me in some way at all, I probably won't have thought about doing anything with her and my non-boner will remain a non-boner.

ReiMizuna · 2021-03-04T04:07:09+00:00

This question really gives away that women think their role in sex is just "lay there and be attractive while the man does sex to you." Like men should be grateful just to be in your proximity. This might work on very young men who are thirsty, but once they've had sex more times than they can count on their fingers they'll want a woman who actually knows how to fuck.

Pilling_it · 2021-03-04T10:05:53+00:00

Way less than you need to be for a man, that's for sure. Men's threshold of sexual attraction is low, since most women have decent faces. That being said, being sexually aroused by her doesn't mean we'll act on it either.

Pretty sure someone will have said that, most fat girls disqualify themselves (hit the gym and see how you're treated in your regular lives ffs) from the get go.

For me, the more we're climbing (hookups -> fuckbuddy -> fwb -> gf) the more the requirements increase. And usually, 6-7 girls are the best fucks, because 8 and above tend to be lazy in bed due to how attractive they are. Maybe they're used to more attractive guys which they do fuck with lust, but the mannerisms tend to make me think otherwise. So you can definitely outdo a girl more attractive than you if she's lazy and you're not.

upalse · 2021-03-04T11:48:28+00:00

Depends where "not fat" (BMI <22) and "not old" (<30) begins in the 1-10, which seems to be pretty culturally and demographically dependent. Apparently in the US such a woman would be 7, wheres in my country that would be about 4.

2021-03-04T13:27:58+00:00

Any woman who isn’t overweight, and is in her underwear on my bed would have me hard. If she’s a decent body fat percentage and at least average looking, I’ll be hard as diamonds. If she also has a nice rack, I’ll be painfully hard.

In a relationship, being able to get hard isn’t necessarily enough to mean I want sex, though. I have sex quite intensely and passionately and, a year or two into a relationship, need a day or so to recharge my actual sexual desire, despite the fact I can get hard from just hugging my girl tightly. Having had duty sex before (“I’m hard and she really wants it, so I should make her happy”), it felt disgusting every time. It’s why I feel for women who are told to put out as part of their wifely duty.

michael1962-01 · 2021-03-04T13:55:05+00:00

Even a solid 10 would not give me a hard on if she is bitching or disrespectful.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2021-03-04T15:54:23+00:00

There are a lot of factors here. What I'm interested in is good sex. The better I think she's going to be in bed, the less physically attractive she has to be. I've had sex with very attractive women (8-10s) who were terrible in bed. I've also had sex with women who were amazing in bed but only average looking (4-6s). The difference is that if she's very attractive then I can (now) usually get off but it feels a bit like I'm just using her body to get myself off. Some women like that but I can only handle it in small doses.

J-MAMA · 2021-03-04T18:45:28+00:00

Lowest I'll go is average face and a little chubby, basically a hard 5/10.

I'm picky though.

Edit: I also live in an area where there are quite a few better looking women than what society considers "average" nowadays, aka 29+bmi.

Title	How attracted do you have to be to a woman to be sexually aroused by her
Author	Artlovenbeauty
Upvotes	16
Comments	160
Date	March 4, 2021 1:09 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lx936g/how_attracted_do_you_have_to_be_to_a_woman_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-attracted-do-you-have-to-be-to-a-woman-to-be.749622 https://theredarchive.com/post/749622

Comments