Never trust dudes who have the female “best friend” in adulthood. Normally this woman is someone they strung along for years as a back up hook-up. 90% chance he is already sleeping with her.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-08-07T14:20:35+00:00

I also want to ad, she didnt shoot her shot into the dark. She knows this man well. For some reason, she thought it would be reciprocated. And it probably was considering increased time together.

denimlace · 2021-08-07T14:26:47+00:00

I know a woman with a male bestie. They fight like a couple, go to Walmart together on the weekends, go on trips together and he even was her “roommate” for a year while unemployed. No, he did not pay rent the whole time. Yes, she has feelings for him but he refuses to date. What kinda “friendship” is that?

bioqueen53 · 2021-08-07T16:47:44+00:00

A few years ago I was having a "hot girl summer," and dating multiple guys, almost all of which I met on OLD. 🤦‍♀️

Thankfully I didn't do anything stupid, like sleep with them or get into a relationship with any of them, but jeez...

One seemed really nice. Cute, had a good job, respectful. Mentions he has a female roommate. 🚩 They've been friends since hs. 🚩 They've lived together so long, they could be common law married. 🚩 She was moving and he didn't know what to do. 🚩🚩🚩🚩 I slow faded him after a few dates because "idk, this situation seems weird." My friends were on the same page, but didn't want to have strong opinions bc you don't want to seem like that crazy girl who won't let her man have friends.

He recently popped up on my social media. I forgot to block and delete (I rarely use it). They're engaged. 😂

GoldandGlowing · 2021-08-07T16:52:34+00:00

After she broke up and said she liked him, they spend more time together? Yeah they’re sleeping together.

gravesearcher · 2021-08-07T14:50:42+00:00

Wow. So he just told her she comes second to his friend because he's know the friend longer. What a piece of dump. She's your WIFE! She should come first.

The man knows better. He just doesn't want to create boundaries because he wants something to happen now that his friend confessed. He's actively walking down the path of an affair or leaving her for the friend.

Mimosa_usagi · 2021-08-07T14:52:02+00:00

As soon as he pulled the "I've known her longer" bullshit I'd have gone to the other room to print divorce paperwork.

sleepysiri · 2021-08-07T17:04:46+00:00

The guy is pathetic here and so is his friend. If she really cared about him, either as a friend or lover or whatever, she wouldn’t put him in a situation that would compromise or insult his relationship. She knows he’s married and her behaviour is classless, selfish and gross. And this husband is so weak! The “I’ve known her longer” is a really immature card to play because any functioning, emotionally intelligent person knows that duration means little in comparison to connection and relationship status. It’s obvious who he’s prioritising. I feel like he’s stringing along the friend as some sort of ego boost.

coursesand · 2021-08-07T14:22:38+00:00

“I’d tell my friends and family but then they would say told ya so.” Omg when pickme’s hear from ALL of their friends and family “this is a red flag!!!” And they STILL ignore it......smh. Classic “yeah but I’m not like the other girls, he wouldn’t do that to ME, I’m special unlike all of you!”

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-08-07T19:25:19+00:00

A friend of mine is in a similar situation with her boyfriend! There’s a girl he’s been friends with since high school who is one of his closest friends. He claims she’s like “one of the boys”.🙄 My friend who is his girlfriend is in an LTR with him feels uncomfortable that he is still super close with her because when she first met this girl, the girl told her that she wanted to sleep with him. My friend told her boyfriend what this girl said and he claimed he has never had a thing for her, wanted to sleep with her, or sees her as more than a friend. This girl tells my friends boyfriend and his other male friend every detail of her sex life with a guy she’s been dating for a few months, and crosses all these boundaries making my friend feel bad. Her boyfriend won’t set any boundaries with this girl🚩 my friend brought it up to her boyfriend again last night and he shuts her down saying they already discussed it and worked it out, invalidating her continuing to feel bad. Her boyfriends excuses for still being close with this girl are “she’s bisexual and is tomboyish and just like one of the boys” (wtf) and “she’s so unattractive and not pretty at all so I would never want to sleep with her”. I’m hoping my friend will see the light and see this guy is LVM. I met him twice and I could see him gaslighting her in front of me whenever she brought up the situation again. It clearly bothers her but her boyfriend doesn’t do anything to change and respect her feelings too

Golden_Lavender · 2021-08-07T16:14:42+00:00

She's gonna have to buckle up for the impending affair. I mean even before the breakup they spent a large amount of time together instead of her taking a step back. 20 bucks say the boyfriend broke up because of Op's husband. Also unpopular opinion but I think it's perfectly acceptable for people to say they told you so, when they did in fact tell you so.

Like if someone was right about something but you ignored them thinking you know better you should hold your L and deal with the fact that you deliberately walked into a situation to hurt yourself that could have been avoided. Its not necessarily rubbing it in but I mean its understandable if a friend throws it in your face everytime your about to make a bad decision.

2021-08-07T19:29:03+00:00

He’s fucking her for sure.

elainejay82 · 2021-08-08T06:18:48+00:00

What he's doing is called "Hiding in plain sight."

It's meant to make us feel more comfortable with the situation, crazy for pointing out that it's inappropriate since he is "honest," etc.

But there are quite a few details missing from his "honesty" like including that he's fucking her or is about to.

"What should I doooo?" Uh. Gtfo of this and fast.

boiledgatorade_ · 2021-08-07T15:08:17+00:00

My exes girl bestie made a 5 slide video on IG about how her “best friend is a guy but his girlfriend is super jealous of our friendship. He says he can’t take it anymore, but now he’s ghosting me. Does anyone else drop their women friends when getting in a relationship?” I was STUNNED! And? He DENIED it was about him! LOL! So she has multiple male friends whose girlfriends don’t like what she comments? Right. Stayed for 2 more years - yes clown me has grown now but at the time I couldn’t believe it and my pickme mode went into overdrive.

thepsychopathhunter · 2021-08-07T17:10:11+00:00

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. So grateful I found FDS after 8 years worth of dating and relationship experiences which always involved some variation of shady friendships with female friends. It feels so freeing and validating to realize these things are fucking weird, no we aren’t being controlling when we realize it’s weird, and the sooner you detach from these fucking creeps the better. Let them have their female best friends and HVW go on with their bad selves. It’s so peaceful knowing you’ll never have to settle for this again or tolerate it. Ever.

basicbagels · 2021-08-07T19:16:53+00:00

And a 100% he’s thought about it/considered it already. Pass!

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-08-07T23:22:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheNightWitch · 2021-08-07T15:34:45+00:00

Every TikTok this girl makes on this subject is fire. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdK2rNQF/

One_Bat_2525 · 2021-08-08T05:20:45+00:00

I found this post really interesting to read. I’m curious to know, can men ever truly just be friends with a woman? I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts.

I used to have many male friends (I was the epitome of the cool girl, pick me), but I noticed that they all vanished from the scene when I got together with my SO. Funnily enough getting with my SO did not impact my female friendships.

modernmedusaa · 2021-08-07T19:44:43+00:00

Ohhhhh for crying out LOUD.

Straight men do not have female ‘friends’ ever and even if they claim they do it’s not appropriate for them to be talking whilst he’s in a relationship.

Ive seen so many stories on infidelity that start like this

‘So my husband has this innocent female friend who’s 20 years younger and sometimes rings him at 12 at night... I’m not a jealous mean person but I’m starting to get very suspicious of their sleepovers and the fact he sends her money and one time he stopped midway through sex to answer her call. Am I being over the top?’

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Libonomo · 2021-08-07T20:13:34+00:00

Straight men are usually only friends with women who they see as prospects to fuck. I have heard several men admit this themselves. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years over his female bestie. I have never felt like their friendship was above board but I accepted his gaslighting more than I should have. I left him with a “you two can have each other” and blocked and deleted. He is shitting himself trying to get back in touch with me. Never again. Being single is so much more peaceful.

wonkyeyes8877 · 2021-08-07T22:40:39+00:00

He can't create boundaries because he has feelings for her too and is probably going to fuck her...

This wife needs to pack the scrote's shit up now before he "accidentally got too tired and fell asleep on her sofa".

junesunflower · 2021-08-08T17:21:59+00:00

Or it's the other way around, it's their dream girl who they have no chance with, but they would do anything and everything for. They stick around pretending to be their friend, hopeful at the chance when they're at their lowest they might have an opportunity.

fireforestfairy · 2021-08-07T17:41:54+00:00

These scrotes see their female "best friends" as side chicks. They claim they're just friends so that their SOs will not become suspicious.

AnniaT · 2021-08-08T10:17:10+00:00

I have good male friends too but when I'm in a committed relationship I don't hang out with them alone nor have sleep overs or talk day and night out of respect for my boyfriend and also not to create discomfort and I expect my boyfriend to do the same. It's not about breaking up friendships and if these people are good friends they'll understand that the contact and alone time reduces once their friend is in a committed relationship and they'll be supportive of this and see no issue in spending much less alone time for the sake of their friend's new relationship. They can still see each other and talk just not on the same degree as when they were single and not so much alone one on one time.

LR_today · 2021-08-07T17:47:49+00:00

I'm a female best friend to a guy. I will do whatever I have to in order to ensure the SO of my best guy friend is comfortable with me.

I think the woman my guy best friend is with will be his last gf, he will likely marry her so I'm glad she is ok with me.

parsnips98 · 2021-08-07T20:45:18+00:00

I have literally just started dating my male “best friend” of 10 years, turns out we did not love each other in a friends way…. Watch out for this ladies bc from my experience they are def in love with each other

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