4 months and she realized she was a placeholder when he had to show basic effort. That's why vetting is important.

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-02-01T00:01:46+00:00

He was trying to get her to break up with him.

edwardianemerald · 2022-02-01T00:49:06+00:00

It is ALWAYS around the 3-month mark. 3 months is all these morons can muster to act like decent people

Sunshine_Daisies2525 · 2022-02-01T00:51:36+00:00

Some men will get angry at you for not understanding their passive aggressive rejections. He probably sent hints with more disrespectful behavior previously. The behavior escalates until they get blatantly aggressive- name-calling, negging, abusive language, etc.

This is the type of man who will say she wanted it/ was okay with the abuse, etc.

curiousgoblin22 · 2022-01-31T23:57:37+00:00

Bullet dodged. Good riddance.

FlowerPrincessChief · 2022-02-01T01:13:48+00:00

I’ve been in situations where a guy would text me happy birthday AFTER my birthday had passed or not acknowledge my birthday at all. Not sure if it was some sort of power move for them. I remember giving them the benefit of the doubt (ie: maybe they forgot, they were too busy, or thought it was a different day). I don’t put up with it anymore.

IAteTheDragon · 2022-02-01T05:07:37+00:00

Women still giving situationships a chance must remember this: it means absolutely NOTHING that the situationship 'started to feel serious'. Doesn't matter he cuddles you, kisses on the lips, says lovey dovey things, acts like you're in relationship etc etc. Don't even acknowledge this lame shit, he does this for you to get invested and hopeful. I have fallen for this too in my past, my friends have been fooled, too many women have seen this MO, it's honestly getting stale by now.

He's gotta be 100% committed to getting to know you from date one. And proud to have a chance to become official with you, which HE will bring up and announce to the whole fcking world accompanied by his constant gestures and offerings towards you. 'Seamless progression' my arse. Low key hangouts, sneaky kisses, boyfriendly cuddles at a late sleepover ARE NOT a 'message' from him to become serious. He wants your p*ssy, your devotion, he's comfortable with his faithful side piece. Cheap, lame and worthless, don't ever take it seriously lady-lurkers💕

Edit:I've seen a reply to my comment in notification but when I tapped on it it disappeared. This is the second time something like this happened. Idk🤷🏼‍♀️

spicyspa · 2022-02-01T00:56:15+00:00

This happened with a couple men I dropped.

I'm not even into birthdays, but I don't tell them that.

purasangria · 2022-02-01T00:17:11+00:00

When a man is into you, he's excited to get you something nice for your birthday.

snowwhite224 · 2022-02-01T01:17:35+00:00

That’s like 16+ dates. Boy bye.

callmebubbles92 · 2022-02-01T02:19:40+00:00

On my 25th birthday, my former boyfriend of four months sent me a text in the morning wishing me a happy birthday. We had plans to go out that day to celebrate. Instead, he spends the entire day sending me text after text about how sick he feels. There was no mention of my birthday after the initial text, no apology, just him whining about how he's sick.

I am really embarrassed to say I let it go, and didn't bring it up. Anyway, that was a major turning point in the relationship. It only lasted two more months (I ended it) but I would definitely say the mask truly slipped after that point.

Meredeen · 2022-02-01T04:26:27+00:00

My bullshit meter is going off. Not attempting any sort of contact on her birthday or even to make up for it, but liking her birthday post. They do this shit to mess with your head, it's nuts. Either trying to get her to break up or taking personal satisfaction in confusing her in a dominance sort of way.

One_Bat_2525 · 2022-02-01T03:44:50+00:00

A LV guy I dated a while ago was so LV he told me that he was moving away for a job and had to end things with me immediately. Guess what? Scrote never moved away and there was no job! The loser came crawling back into my life when I started dating my husband and saw how happy I was. I was looking for tickets to a gig and asked my Facebook friends if anyone had a couple spare. The loser PM’d me (after liking every single one of my pictures late one night) and said that he had a couple of tickets and I wouldn’t need to pay if I went with him and ditched my guy. I laughed so hard and told him to crawl back into the hole he came from before blocking and deleting him. He’s still a scrote to this day and still asks people about me.

4evaneva · 2022-02-01T05:07:09+00:00

If only having sex without commitment wasn’t so normalised. He clearly spent those days he ignored her with whoever else he’s been seeing.

ceramicunicorn · 2022-02-01T02:09:01+00:00

Imagine the unwasted months on him had there been no sleepovers until they were exclusive. With no sex, this one would’ve dipped on her after 4 dates max, and there may have been a better guy to spend the birthday with. Or at least not the stress over him, because he would be long since forgotten. Ladies, take heed.

Peengwin · 2022-02-01T04:19:36+00:00

Remember, we don't ask dudes about exclusivity- they need to be the ones to bring it up. And dudes should want to do something sweet and romantic for your birthday/ a social occasion. She should've blocked and deleted instead of even trying to ask him what the deal is

DrildoBagurren · 2022-02-01T11:16:02+00:00

He's either punishing her or playing some stupid redpill game to make her feel insecure. The problem is that guys have collectively got women and girls questioning their sanity so instead of just walking away at signs of disrespect, the women/girls go and ask the internet (full of other rp guys, inc*ls and pickme male-apologists ) whether they should let it slide. And it was me at one point too except I didn't have Reddit so I just used to Google stuff and find all the same advice from pickme columnists and men's thinkpieces.

Meredeen · 2022-02-01T00:43:55+00:00

I still have the high quality plush owl my high school bf got me for my birthday or valentines, I can't remember which for some reason. We ended things relatively fast and remained friends, that owl is still something I love a lot because it's really cute

feminine_tomboy · 2022-02-01T05:18:07+00:00

I remember reading that covert passive-aggressive narcissists have this tendency to "forget" birthdays.

That should be a major red flag.

oscine23 · 2022-02-01T17:58:20+00:00

So many red flags. He probably wanted to cancel plans so he wouldn’t have to do/buy anything for her birthday. Now it’s come and gone and he wants to resume no strings attached sex. And she was going to ask HIM about being exclusive. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

HolyIsTheLord · 2022-02-01T04:15:28+00:00

"I confronted him in the most rude way."

Does anyone know what she did? What she said? I would love a good laugh.

Edit: Oh, never mind I misread it. He ended things in the most rude way. What did he do?

SarcasmSlide · 2022-02-01T18:27:35+00:00

She left out the part where they’ve been having “FWB” sex since the jump so she thought she meant something to him. She did not and she hasn’t figured that part out yet.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-02-02T12:18:24+00:00

Yep, so we all need to pro-actively end things when there's disrespect. We don't have to wait for it to become 100% obvious. Let's put our logical minds to it - what is the chance that a guy is into someone and ignores them on their birthday, and then texts without providing an excuse? 0.01%? We ain't taking this chance, because the rest 99.99 % is the chance we're getting clowned.

When he texted her was a fine walk-away point - she was very close to seeing it/acting on it, and hopefully next time she will kick low-effort dudes to the curb by her own decision.

Ok-Appearance5982 · 2022-02-05T00:13:29+00:00

This “seeing each other” phrase is nonsense.

Title	4 months and she realized she was a placeholder when he had to show basic effort. That's why vetting is important.
Author	Competitive_Bar8657
Upvotes	614
Comments	50
Date	January 31, 2022 11:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/shfzbc/4_months_and_she_realized_she_was_a_placeholder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/4-months-and-she-realized-she-was-a-placeholder.1098606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098606

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