Be careful about helping "disabled" men!(potential trigger warning!)

Jamiepappasatlanta · 2021-09-18T04:37:33+00:00

Ted Bundy did this

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-09-18T06:42:39+00:00

I’m always suspicious when a man asks a young woman or teenage girl for help. Men spend so much time despising teen girls, but now they need one to “help” them? Uh-uh. That’s such bullshit. Ask a man for help.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-09-18T05:06:07+00:00

yep! ladies, be careful!

And if you're a teen and asked to volunteer, please don't do it alone!

I have volunteered as a teen to a disabled children's hospital and then I was asked if I also could help one of the retired otolaryngologist doctors edit their book.

It was a book with recipes for diabetic older people - this old man had diabetes and almost lost sight in one of his eyes and had issues with his feet (diabetic feet) because he did not initially want to be on a diet. I later found out his wife came up with the idea of writing that book and those were her recipes - but he just stole them and wanted to blast his name on them. It should have been co-authored but it was not.

with his wife in the same apartment, that old shrivelled scrote touched me inappropriately. I was so shocked.... five minutes later his wife, a sweet old lady invites me to have dinner with them. it was the most awkward thing ever. needless to say, I never return to help with editing that book, I don't even know if it has been published afterwards or if it was just a ruse to lure teens so he could molest them.

East-Willingness513 · 2021-09-18T05:40:20+00:00

Say “I’ll find a strong man to help you” and find the biggest guy you see

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-09-18T06:50:52+00:00

I live in a fancy pants area and saw a scrote in a wheelchair lodge a woman in the supermarket up against the bread wall and proceed to attempt to talk to her.

This woman was in her 50s attractive and slim - so she wasn't a naive teenager.

Even as a mature woman scrotes will scrote ( he was around 60). Her reaction to his scrotacity was just to laugh and smile and move away from him.

He was saying something to the effect of " I saw you smiling there....". She probably gave him a kindly smile as she was moving past him. Don't ever give men eye contact it literally sends them into a creepy predatory frenzy.

It was done in a busy supermarket.

These gross men really try and play on women's sympathy.

DeorisGrey · 2021-09-18T15:34:04+00:00

I watched The Silence of the Lambs in my early twenties and ever since then I never help "disabled" men. Call me heartless, but you never know. Helping an old lady cross the street? Sure. Helping a "blind" man? Nope. I stay away. Better safe than sorry.

Oh and I always stay away from vans. If someone is moving home and there's an open van with men about, I cross to the other side or turn around and walk away.

Japanese_Lasagna · 2021-09-18T04:37:35+00:00

Just as a rule of thumb as a woman: best not to help men. Go find another man to help a man.

DuchessDurag · 2021-09-18T05:53:19+00:00

I worked in admin at a police station. The one thing Police women taught young girls in schools is to never be put in a situation where you’re isolated.

If someone is disabled / blind and needs you’re help, just simply tell them you will get a security guard or an ambulance and see their reaction.

Maid_For_Hire · 2021-09-18T04:30:04+00:00

We had an old man in front of one of our grocery stores that would just pull down his pants and do his business right there. People just confuse me, at this point.

BasieSkanks · 2021-09-18T07:28:31+00:00

Ted Bundy used this ruse to lure young women to their deaths. He would pretend to be disabled and ask for their help.

MerleErEnPerle · 2021-09-18T04:39:22+00:00

From my experience, people with disabilities never ask strangers for help, unless it's a super unlucky situation or they have problems with their equipment. Treat people with disabilities as you would treat anyone else and you'll know when something is off.

cookiemonstergirls · 2021-09-18T14:54:27+00:00

Ladies if you ever are suscipicious that a “disabled” man may be a predator do this. If he asks you for help “finding the bathroom” refer him to a large strong man who can help him insteadof you. If there are no men around then say your running late for a dr.s appointment or something.

StrainingMyNeurons · 2021-09-18T12:37:41+00:00

I knew a guy who was physically and possibly mentally disabled, but crafty enough to put together an ok looking dating profile and set up sex dates with unsuspecting women. He knew full well that he looked and presented nothing like his profile (he was absolutely revolting), but that many women felt terrible turning down a disabled man and would end up having sex with him. He was a terrible human being without conscience, who also happened to be disabled. He also bragged about having been to some group porn shoots like that, where he turns up, and even though he’s not the person in his photos, he’s allowed to bang the poor women, because everybody felt terrible about turning down a disabled man. Disability and absence of conscience are not mutually exclusive, surprise surprise.

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-09-18T06:53:18+00:00

Also PSA- the flip side.

Keep an eye out for ladies in wheelchairs at traffic lights. Let them go first as it takes them longer to cross - and they are more vulnerable as they are at waist heigh level - some vehicles can't see them.

Most people ignore people in wheelchairs and just go about their business, not realising that it is an ordeal to cross a busy junction in a wheelchair.

The only people I am nice too are women, vulnerable/disabled women and animals.

That's it. No exceptions.

parabenprincess · 2021-09-18T17:00:13+00:00

I’m wary of when men ask me, 5’2 & 107 lbs, for help. Like… how tf am I going to help THEM?

I tell them to go ask a man and walk away.

NotYourCirce · 2021-09-18T17:05:25+00:00

Some of the best safety advice I’ve gotten from this sub is, “men don’t ask for help”. So when they do ask women for help, it’s nefarious

Ironsculpture · 2021-09-18T06:49:11+00:00

The only way in which women should help men is by calling the police, meaning other men, to help them. There's no reason a vulnerable man would ask a woman for help, or why we should risk our safety when they have a history of preying on our misplaced empathy.

HamburgerFries8 · 2021-09-18T06:43:18+00:00

If a male stranger like the one in question asks me for help, the first thing I'm going to tell him is to ask a man, and that a real gentleman would never ask a woman for help.

autumnbabyxo · 2021-09-18T12:31:21+00:00

In college, I used to work at a sports bar where all the servers were young women. We used to have a guy call the restaurant and say he was disabled and inquire if we would help “change him” all while heavy breathing on the other end of the phone. These sick fucks are everywhere.

saskiaaxx · 2021-09-18T07:04:25+00:00

My HV father is disabled. He is rarely in a situation where he needs to ask for help in public, because he has the self-respect and organisational skills to plan properly for any outing. If he is going somewhere new for the first time, he will call in advance and ask where the bathrooms are, whether they are accessible etc. He will arrange for a family member or carer to be on call in case something happens when he is out by himself.

Even if he needed to ask for help, he would never find it appropriate to approach a random woman. He would find someone in a relevant professional role, like a security guard or waiter or park ranger. Recently, he lost his car in a parking garage, couldn't get phone signal, and absolutely exhausted himself rolling around in his wheelchair looking for it. I asked him why he didn't ask anyone for help, and he said because the only person he saw was a young woman by herself, and it was late, and he didn't want to risk her feeling scared or uncomfortable.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-09-18T17:14:11+00:00

Ted Bundy did that shit.

LeastInjury8081 · 2021-09-18T05:21:08+00:00

“the best clue is, of all things, the pity play. The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy”

. Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door

eating_dirt · 2021-09-19T16:59:23+00:00

“Men don’t ask women for help.” I love that quote, helps me justify that gut feeling I get in these types of situations

VaselineB · 2021-09-18T09:29:57+00:00

In every true crime show, the killer always plays on the sympathy & kindness of the victim. Women are socialized to be nice, which makes them easier targets for predators.

WestAtmosphere · 2021-09-18T16:27:41+00:00

Wow the lurkers really didn't like this post lol. How do they not get it? This is men who target young women specifically to "get off". It's a thing men have been known to do in hospital settings as well where they purposely soil themselves etc. and request a young nurse to clean them up. EVEN MALE NURSES acknowledge this happens, hence they go in to make a point to the male patient that if you soil yourself you could get a male nurse who cleans you up.

If you need help you take what help you can get from ANY person no matter gender/age etc. You don't target specific groups for your pleasure.

ConsistentTip6508 · 2021-09-18T08:10:11+00:00

This is what Al Bundy used to entrap his victims - he pretended to be disabled, and women would help him.

LadyM2 · 2021-09-18T20:26:27+00:00

I saw this kind of ads on Craigslist a lot. Old/sick men want to rent out a room in his house for free to women in exchange of care. I just know it’s very sketchy. I hope no one has fallen for that.

Hot_Procedure1648 · 2021-09-18T11:41:07+00:00

Sometimes you need to be selfish in life, my motto is if ''I don't get the bread, then they're as good as dead". A good way of thinking about is would these men be as generous as I, were the roles reversed?? Probably not. Besides, if they really were as disabled as they claim to be, they'd either be accompanied by family or someone assigned to them by the government.

Ireadanything · 2021-09-18T12:37:22+00:00

Always point a person to the bathroom and let them navigate it themselves. " It's over there" point and leave.

I am certainly not helping a man find it but I will tell another man to go help him. I routinely ignore strange men that try to talk to me. I don't care if it's rude. MY safety is more important than his feelings.

Love_life_bisou · 2021-09-18T20:46:05+00:00

Young people can help others by either calling the police or the social services. Unless you are in a team of scouts with a leader don't be so fing helpful, adult people can take that risk, not young people!!! Society raised us wrong!

BrightIdeaGenerator · 2021-11-21T02:06:55+00:00

I work in a nursing home. No matter how old and infirm they are, with men, I have to say "can you help me with something, sir?" Not "let me help you", in order to get them to cooperate with me. I have to frame it as them HELPING ME do my job, even if I'm helping them to the bathroom. Even if they have dementia this works! You know why? BECAUSE MEN DON'T WANT HELP FROM WOMEN. THEY DON'T WANT TO SEEN AS WEAK. I'm talking about guys that are ACTUALLY disabled and infirm. They don't want my help and it's difficult to get to accept help from women. All that's to say ....... yeah this is a giantantic red flag.

edwardianemerald · 2021-09-18T12:06:18+00:00

Homeless scammers use this trick all. the. time.

xD_itgoes · 2021-09-18T15:56:50+00:00

Maybe women should join the police force just to arrest these pieces of sh*t, because wow.

Krelxyian2333 · 2021-09-23T15:35:00+00:00

I mean the fact that Ted Bundy loved this method should be proof enough.

Title	Be careful about helping "disabled" men!(potential trigger warning!)
Author	europoor24
Upvotes	1072
Comments	79
Date	September 18, 2021 4:19 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pqfmb0/be_careful_about_helping_disabled_menpotential/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/be-careful-about-helping-disabled-menpotential.1075828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075828

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