Doctors and Lawyers

Namtara · 2020-04-18T16:49:18+00:00

Am a lawyer.

There's tons of different kinds of lawyers, but generally the ones you want to avoid are Big Law male lawyers in large metro areas.

Law school is a competition. Big Law is a competition. First year lawyers at a big firm were big shots in law school and then were bottom of the totem pole at the start of their career. They worked 90+ hour weeks on gigantic cases they can't talk about where the partner calling the shots (maybe) humored their ideas before making a decision. For some Big Law lawyers, that gave them humility. For others, it gave them a massively inflated ego. Guess which sort you're going to find on OLD.

Don't date lawyers who feel the need to brag about their job. If the job is a competition to them, then they think you're a prize they already won. Red flag.

If they are excited about or like their job, without needing to flaunt the pay or prestige of the firm, then being a lawyer is not a red flag. I know several attorneys who are law nerds. Some are in Big Law, some are not, but they all love to talk about a specific area of law because it's their passion. They're so excited to either develop an area, or change the law, or to work with a specific demographic. They want to make a difference, and they're working towards that.

Ask questions that help you differentiate those people.

ScrappleSandwiches · 2020-04-18T15:30:48+00:00

I dated a Harvard lawyer once. I happened on a car crash, where a toddler had been thrown from the car and was wandering in the street. I picked her up and called 911. He told me I shouldn’t have picked her up because it could’ve exposed me to liability. That summed him up perfectly.

Quizillla · 2020-04-18T17:03:25+00:00

I have noticed that men with "high status" jobs, if they are single and in their 40s, think that it means that any woman dating them is after their money, that therefore they are justified in "going on the offensive" against her and trying to use her for sex, and have the idea that they can replace any woman easily.

In other words, they really think they are everything a woman could want, and then they end up treating any woman who goes for them badly.

ineedhelp799 · 2020-04-18T18:18:46+00:00

My dad (anesthesiologist) cheated on my mom with at least two nurses before they divorced. After they were separated, they ran into each other at the gas station and he said to her "you wouldn't believe how many women are available to me". I learned this last night (after 7 years) and am burning my high school hoodies with his last name on them today. No I'm never bringing this stuff up with him.

My mom told me she cried when he got into med school. Got in by the skin of his teeth. She never wanted to be a doctor's wife. She was making 70k/year before being stay-at-home for 3 kids (lesson: I'm having 1 kid). And as time went on and his career progressed, his personality got colder. Genuinely I feel like I don't know him.

dzgata · 2020-04-18T16:04:30+00:00

Pre med and medical students are some of the most bottom tier people I’ve had the displeasure of meeting and I’m in the same field lol. The men do it to gain status to impress others or their family or both. Vast majority are narcissistic and not compassionate at ALL. I’ve only met a handful of decent men in the medical field.

100piecepuzzle · 2020-04-18T16:43:43+00:00

I agree with this. I went out with a doctor who seemed cool on OLD pre-quarantine and he kept trying to pressure me to hang out with him after the date. He offered his house, a car, it was clear what he was after. During the date he was really dry, kept a straight face, I had to carry the conversation; it was not enjoyable. I kept being polite and saying no repeatedly to hanging out but he was still being super pushy. I didn’t go out with him again and I’ve gotten texts from him saying “you should invite me over.” How entitled do you have to be to think one dinner date = free sex. Or to invite yourself over someone else’s house.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-04-18T15:22:55+00:00

Ew that entitlement is so gross. What made them think it was ok to do so?

siddmartha · 2020-04-18T17:21:04+00:00

Well lol I think most docs have narcissistic tendencies.. You don't want someone NOT thinking they are the best at what they are doing operating on you. And going through med school you meet SOOO MANY people who are just absolutely full of themselves - only makes sense that as they get older it gets worse.

Haven't dated any lawyers yet but guess I'm gunna be avoiding them now lol.

cici_sweetheart · 2020-04-19T00:22:44+00:00

Hello I’ll be a pediatrician in about 11 months but yes I over hear the male doctors talking about taking pictures in their white coat on tinder to get more ass. Or sleeping with nurses or other medical personnel who literally Throw themselves at them. This is very common. I’ve dated a lawyer and he stalked me. I didn’t even have sex with him. So I didn’t understand why. He really scared me! Just be careful. A professional career does not equal mental stability and it doesn’t mean they’ll be good to you.

woiashenseea · 2020-04-19T00:48:53+00:00

Doctors and their arrogance! The god complex is RAMPANT among medical worker men; the higher their position, the worse the entitlement. People with either strong empathy or an exaggerated ego go to medical school, and when men cannot accept being humbled by the fragility of humanity and the authoritarian medical system, their minds completely rewire to edit out the depravity. They become deeply sociopathic.

Ladies please avoid doctors, male nurses, PAs, RNs, RAs, surgeons, residents, all of them!!

Thank you OP! Have also noticed intense entitlement among lawyers, had one pursue me for a while and he took 10 leagues out of the inch I gave him.

Quizillla · 2020-04-18T15:13:28+00:00

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spin_the_globe · 2020-04-18T16:36:28+00:00

Engineer as in software engineer? Plenty of turds in that swimming pool too. Glad you found a decent one.

Jinxhourglass · 2020-04-18T15:12:38+00:00

It’s 100% the god complex

harrohamtaro · 2020-04-18T20:38:22+00:00

Had a doctor send me a phone photo of a letter upgrading him to a suite at the Shangri-La, like it was supposed to impress me. Bitch I can afford that myself without a free upgrade. Gross even without the innuendo.

2020-04-18T18:35:10+00:00

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EarthFathers · 2020-04-18T19:36:19+00:00

You’ll find LVM in every profession. It’s not just exclusive to lawyers and doctors. There are lots of LVM in my job too.

Patient-Character · 2020-04-18T19:15:45+00:00

Because they are narcs. Big narcissts. You’re just a prize and that not for very long. They will play games with you and the people in their lives. Horrible to live with. They are children who need to be disciplined once you figure out how narcs think.

Just stay away from high status folks if you’re looking to stay sane. If you’re looking for $$ and mental health issues go for doctors and lawyers. Of course there are exceptions but they’re not going to be on OLD

maraslove · 2020-04-18T20:19:21+00:00

You’re not alone. They are heavily in demand because of their tax brackets, so they think they can treat every woman like garbage. Many have shit personalities or are married and just trying to cheat with anything younger. I don’t even get excited anymore when I see one... I just swipe left or ignore their messages now. It’s only getting worse. Wish I was old enough to use OLD when high quality was on there.

open_heart_shrink · 2020-04-19T13:38:13+00:00

I think OLD attracts narcissists who want to establish harems to feed their ego. When I was on dating apps, I noticed the same residents were always on there. It’s clear they aren’t looking for something serious. I think people need to be really careful if using OLD. It attracts some really abusive personality types. The concept kinda grosses me out now: swiping through profiles like I’m online shopping. Feeds into mentality that people are commodities.

tarodsm · 2020-04-18T16:46:11+00:00

Docs and lawyers are 90% confidence, 5% skill, and 5% arrogance. Usually anyway. They are skilled technicians but little else. Intelligence is, surprisingly, not a requirement. As such, the professions attract a lot of dicks.

There are a few exceptions, but not many.

In fact, the dumbest person I know is a doctor. Self-centered, arrogant, dumb-as-a-stump. I watched him fail to pour a bucket of fluid on a floor correctly. How the hell do you even fuck that up?? Also the source of this quote: “What do you mean I can’t spend the grocery money on a new truck?”

Source: I know more doctors than non-doctors

villagefunambulist · 2020-04-18T19:38:47+00:00

Went on a date with a doctor once in my early 20s. It was an arranged date by my family; they said "he was a good boy from a good family and a doctor." The date was arranged after he saw my picture and said "she is so beautiful, definitely looks like a girl I would like to marry." I almost vomited when I heard that but they made me go anyway. He was on the shorter side and dressed in designer garb from head to toe (like Gucci logo shoes and Louis Vuitton belt) which I found super tacky. He kept ogling my body and making comments like "you definitely look like you take care of yourself." Then he took me to Panera Bread and asked if I wanted to split a meal. I said no. I bought a coffee and he bought himself a soup (which came in a paper cup) and he began to lick the paper cup in front of me. I went to the bathroom, came back, said I was not feeling well and practically ran. My family, and especially my mother, had the audacity to give me shit about it later. She told me that "I passed an opportunity to secure my economic future and I am getting on in my years so there are not many opportunities left.." Wtf!!! I am now in my 30s, I taught myself to code, I work in IT and have a very well paying job. Do not listen to your family BS. My mother was the epitome of a pickmeisha her whole life and thank goodness I have more common sense.

brainsandb00bs · 2020-04-19T02:28:26+00:00

I also work for a professional firm and since I graduated grade school and college early (and progressed through my career fast) any medical professional or lawyer within my age rage even if they make a little more than me arent in as high of a position with their employer as I am since my career is longer.

I feel like for that reason and also just my overall demeanor I don’t get that vibe from them at all, they already know I’m above their bullshit.

Actually they’re my favorite type of people to date, especially lawyers. I’ve always had the best conversations on dates with lawyers, lots of banter and playful competition of wits. If they make an app where all your matches are lawyers I’d sign up immediately. The more abrasive aspects of their personality (the competitiveness, assertiveness, bravado) are all traits I have too, so I feel like it makes us more compatible as they’re less intimidated than the more meek types.

Sewud · 2020-04-19T00:38:23+00:00

Only doctor I went on a date with... After the first date, we did some catching up via Facebook messager and he sent me a link about "20 reasons why redheads are the best" (was this fetishizing or corny flirting?), then he wrote a few times "we should have dinner soon", but he never made actual plans, and eventually he stopped messaging me... So I don't know, it sounds like he almost wanted to ask me out on a second date and I'm not quite sure if I discouraged him because my responses were slow, or if he wanted me to make the plans or what, but I was just letting the ball in his court and nothing happened.

It was like this:

Him: "Hi, what have you been up to?"

Me and him: Pleasant catching up.

Him: "We should have dinner soon."

Me the next day: "I'd love to."

Him two weeks later: "Sorry, I've been busy, what have you been up to?"

Was he just looking for a hookup? (There was no hookup on our first date.) Was I supposed to reply immediately to the dinner invitation so we could set a date? I'm a relaxed texter, I might be busy or gone to sleep or I might forget about him, that's why I only reply the next day. Was I supposed to get the ball rolling more like "let me know when you're free and I'll tell you when I'm free"? Or was he just saying "dinner some time" to be polite?

bootybootybootymeow · 2020-04-21T03:21:34+00:00

I dated a doctor who resented his career choice and had felt trapped pretty much the whole time. He got off on pushing and violating sexual boundaries and was a serial cheater, go figure.

2020-04-19T07:55:44+00:00

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defiantlypink · 2020-04-19T11:24:19+00:00

I’m a student doctor and look.... it’s true. Most of pharmacy school we get told that we’re highly respected, the top 5% intellectually, and are close knit groups to a point where non-white collar people seem below us. This is all under the guise of being “professional” which I would understand at work, but I “leave my white coat at the door on the way out”. Most don’t.

I’ve gotten heat for not taking that attitude into my personal life, because most do. So, good luck to non-doctors/lawyers dating someone who is.

raddy-set-go · 2020-04-20T14:43:51+00:00

There’s something about those who are drawn to the medical profession which has made me put my guard up in recent years.

Not all people obviously (there are amazing doctors and nurses out there of course and the profession itself is an incredible gift to humanity) but so many I’ve known, or known of, have had either a god complex or a martyr complex, and it turns out that both these things are variations on narcissistic personality disorder. The traits will also vary from mild to severe but the ones I’ve known have gone on and ON about how wonderful and selfless they are. One I had the misfortune to get personally involved with years ago even went as far as to say my time literally had less value than theirs due to them being a medical professional which they used to justify throwing fits and subjecting me to more emotional abuse if I didn’t drop everything I was doing and cater to their every whim. Also there was a strong sense of entitlement to my body which I found unsettling, likely to do with how they’ll have studied anatomy for years and interact physically with patients, many of whom won’t even be of sufficiently sound mind to give consent, thereby giving them a sense of having the “right to access” that most people don’t have, like the way a police badge will grant you instant access to a roped off crime scene. The way I was just “moved upon” in some cases has confirmed that idea more and more.

Others in the profession I’ve known have hyped themselves up to a lesser extent but still their social media posts are usually some variation on “I’m a medical professional therefore you’re stupid if you have any opinions that are different from mine.” That’s why I now give such individuals a VERY wide berth and would likely never date one in the future, I’ve simply borne witness to far too much narcissistic behaviour from people in that field to risk getting personally involved with another one. As for lawyers, I haven’t had the privilege of knowing any personally enough to have had a bad experience through directly encountering one but I’m going to start practicing the same amount of caution with them too.

Title	Doctors and Lawyers
Author	Quizillla
Upvotes	200
Comments	113
Date	April 18, 2020 3:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g3oz3f/doctors_and_lawyers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/doctors-and-lawyers.678096 https://theredarchive.com/post/678096

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