Found online. It seems sensible enough.

2oatmeal_cookies · 2021-08-08T17:55:28+00:00

I feel like they’ll just lie.

gridironbuffalo · 2021-08-08T17:33:26+00:00

Discussed all of these things with my ex husband and he switched it all up after we got the marriage certificate. Some men are just saying what they think you want to hear until you’re stuck with them.

qualitylamps · 2021-08-08T14:56:21+00:00

Where was this before I got married?!

Divorced btw.

letsbeaboutit · 2021-08-08T14:59:58+00:00

Realized a new one myself recently: finding out any child naming ‘family traditions’! IE naming kids after grandparents, regardless of how terrible the name is. Thanks but I prefer to pick a name that suits the child - if the name happens to match up, perfect! Otherwise, absolutely not. Sorry bub, but your grandpa with the weird name will just have to be satisfied that he’s fulfilled his genetic duty without getting his name passed on too!

RecordingImportant94 · 2021-08-08T16:55:51+00:00

When discussing these things, don’t show your hand first. A manipulative or abusive man will mirror your views in order to seem like a HVM who has values aligned with your own.

Datonecatladyukno · 2021-08-08T14:21:59+00:00

SAY IT LOUDER🗣🗣🗣

redwineandsolitude · 2021-08-08T16:50:51+00:00

*discuss IF you want children

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-08-08T23:50:52+00:00

Interesting how society grooms us that its all about sex and lust and fireworks - when actually finding the right partner is about meticulous vetting.

I guess 'meticulous vetting' isn't a sexy sell.

"Love is a skill. A skill that need to be learned. And a skill that our society refuses to consider as a skill"

Source: Why you will marry the wrong person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EvvPZFdjyk

karabnp · 2021-08-08T15:17:58+00:00

People really do enter marriage without being in full alignment/agreement in most to all of these areas, and expect “love” to carry you through and be “enough”.🥴 See divorce percentage rates.🤦🏼‍♀️

SkiesEclipse · 2021-08-08T14:50:52+00:00

Yes to everything here!

Singngkiltmygrandma · 2021-08-08T15:47:53+00:00

Good advice.

girl_in_red_costume · 2021-08-08T17:20:30+00:00

I ask about political views before I even go to the first date, I'm not risking wasting my night with a bigot. Also, porn consumption should be listed as well, same with "do you have healthy boundaries with your family?"

Sage_Planter · 2021-08-08T15:12:05+00:00

This is why everyone should do pre-marital counseling. Many religious institutions require all their engaged couples to go through a formal program before tying the knot at their place of worship.

More (all) couples should be seeking this external of help prior to marriage. My mom (married to my dad 30+ years) insists that she pays for my pre-marital counseling when I'm ready for it.

throwawayastrogirl · 2021-08-09T00:14:24+00:00

They say when you marry, you marry the family or whatever generational trauma has been carried on.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-08-09T06:56:57+00:00

My ex husband told me everything I wanted to hear. We dated for 5 years and he acted like a new age, feminist man. As soon as we wed, he became a worse version of his father because at least his father was rich with a good job. My NVM expected me to wait on him hand and foot like a 1950s housewife or like his mum. I work full time, his mum never did but that difference didn't equate. I was never so happy as the day those divorce papers came through. It cost everything but it was worth it to rid myself of him.

feelgoodlost_ · 2021-08-08T15:37:30+00:00

You’ll have to vet forever at this point. They’ll take your cues, lie they agree, and use your viewpoints to secure their new sources of entertainment.

adalovelace1793--- · 2021-08-10T03:59:36+00:00

And even if they blabber away, dont you EVER believe their words.

Only judge a man by their actions.

I got tired of seeing SJW LVM sprouting awesomeness, just to be dissapointed by their hard hearts waaay later....

mothertuna · 2021-08-09T11:48:52+00:00

This is very important especially financially. I’m not rich but I have some good financial sense about me. I’m not going to be with someone who’s not going to be mindful of their money or not willing to learn how to.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-08-08T19:14:46+00:00

also, invest in couple's therapy before you get married (see the latest podcast).

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-08-08T14:56:15+00:00

Except for the trauma thing. If you “have” to tell a partner your trauma so they know your triggers, you shouldn’t be dating and should be getting more therapy.

artemis-code · 2021-08-09T19:59:06+00:00

100% This is so important

2021-08-08T15:26:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Found online. It seems sensible enough.
Author	pqrsthrowawayyyyy
Upvotes	4168
Comments	71
Date	August 8, 2021 1:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p0emb5/found_online_it_seems_sensible_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/found-online-it-seems-sensible-enough.850074 https://theredarchive.com/post/850074

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