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Mediocre_Situation
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link
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[–]sushiwalrusFDS Newbie88 points89 points90 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
They’re the ones that claim they’ve been forced into marriage, trapped into marriage, miss being “free”, wonder what could have been, etc. Then as soon as their wife gives them the chance to be single again they get enraged and offended. They’re so stupid lol
[–]blessing-to-your-day38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
They all talk about their need for freedom. But they don’t do anything meaningful
[–]vodkasoda87FDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Freedom for what? Freedom to do all their own chores, get rejected by women that don't want them, and play video games or watch sports without "nagging". LOL what a wonderful life
[–]sushiwalrusFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Freedom to marinate in their filth while they struggle to pay bills and blame all their problems on the women who refuse to be saddled with them.
[–]manisfestationqueenFDS Apprentice35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you walk out of your marriage without actually leaving it.
Yup!!! My ex husband moved states yet never filed for divorce. I had to, he didn't lift a finger, didn't even sign the papers. The only reason I was able to get a divorce was because he got a new girlfriend who contacted me and my bf at the time. She made him get the divorce. He would refuse to contact me, I was desperate to get divorced because we were living in different coasts, he blocked me on every single platform. It was a nightmare.
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It used to eat me up inside that my ex’s decided to cheat on me rather than just breaking up with me. I couldn’t figure out why, because I’d always made it very clear that I would much rather be dumped than lied to. They all made excuses like “I didn’t want to make you sad” or “I knew you’d yell at me” etc, essentially shifting the blame onto me. Then I realized (thanks in part to this sub) that of course they didn’t want to break up, because I was bending over backwards to make them happy. why on earth would they want that to end when they could have their cake and eat it too? I used to be flattered at my ex’s attention when they would try to get me back, but now I see it for what it is, just another way to feed their bottomless ego.
[–]SimilarYellowFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you cheat instead of divorcing her.
Maybe I watch too much true crime but I feel like "When you cheat and then kill your wife instead of divorcing her" should be on there as well.
[–]YeetMyProblemsFDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fucking THIS!
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THANK! YOU!
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Newbie252 points253 points254 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Women are allowed to leave the minute they realize their husband isn’t good enough for them. That’s a fact.
[–]DrRainbowBriteFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This statement should be at the top of every marriage license
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Do you, Lana, take this man, Corey, to have and to hold until you realize he isn’t good enough for you?”
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“...until he drops the Nice Man facade and shows his true colors?”
[–]LeavixFDS Newbie452 points453 points454 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah.. Most men are perfectly comfortable in their marriage. They are usually not the ones who are used and abused until a divorce looks like the only solution.
[–]Mysterious_Midnight7FDS Apprentice62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spot on.
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
If these comments are to be believed, I can’t see why would anyone here see marriage as a goal at all. It just doesn’t seem logical. I understand HVM exist, but they’re not common, and there aren’t enough to go around to everyone.
Going by this framework, the focus should be on the self and developing friendships, not actively dating. If someone does come along, use strategy to vet, but he likely won’t (because that takes effort, to pursue someone who is not showing interest in dating), so it should be considered a happy accident we have a small likelihood of stumbling on, right?
It’s just starting to feel like “playing lotto” strategy, when there are more secure, sensible paths. Maybe we should be focusing more on strategies of how to be very happy alone for a very long time than the crappy things men do? The reality is that if we all held to our standards, the majority here will be alone for life (unless a swath of LVM suddenly leveled up in response to a lack of sex...but I’m not so sure it’s about sex anymore, I think what they want most is power, and as weird as it sounds, so many LVM find not trying too hard at life as empowering). I’m not even sure why to be here anymore when there’s so much anger and disgust, as opposed to FemaleLevelUpStrategy. I can’t help but notice though that this sub is immensely more popular than that one.
Maybe it’s these posts are meant for those who just got here as a wake up call (especially those contemplating ending a relationship), not those who have known it for years. Or maybe it’s just that it’s very hard to kill a dream, and a lot of women just plain dream of a partner and crave love and are angry that it’s so difficult when the things we ask of men are so fucking simple, we see their potential, we’re willing to give back, but they just won’t fucking do basic basic things, and now everyone is lonely. I understand wanting to feel validated in those frustrations, but at the same time it eventually feels like looping.
It feels like my acting days, when it was- I kid you not- 10,000 women at times, competing for the best role. But again, the second I found myself more fixated on pitfalls and scams and how fucked they were, than how I needed to stand out to get the best roles, I knew it was time to leave that dynamic and leave that field.
I hope this doesn’t make some people here feel defensive. It’s coming from a place not of shaming but I just honestly worry that the negativity will eat at some quality women....when they could be more focused on maximizing potential, and eventually living a happy life, blithely unconcerned with romance.
[–]vodkasoda87FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't plan on getting married unless it is to someone who has a lot of money. That way if he screws me over and we need to divorce, I am getting a substantial amount of money from it. Otherwise, there's no point in getting married and it could be detrimental. I have a lot of earning potential so I would never want to have to pay alimony or give half my assets to a man if we divorced. What if we get married and he makes more at the time, but over time I make more or he becomes disabled? It is just too risky for me. I also don't plan on having children. If I wanted children I would get married for that.
Also, studies show married women aren't as happy as single women. And just seeing the married / in a relationship women compared to single women that I know, it really shows that marriage is not a good deal for women most of time.
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m torn on this. Existing in a vacuum, outside of a (patriarchal) societal structure, being married is an objectively less happy situation for a woman. That being said, we do exist within that society, which is set up to benefit married (and to a lesser degree, partnered) people. I see the benefits my partnered friends receive- everything from social approval which brings all kinds of social support, invitations, etc., to tax breaks. Those things make life easier. You know how celebrities get free clothes and attention they don’t need but people are attracted to a perceived higher social status, while someone struggling who actually needs those things cannot get them? Kinda like that.
If we had a society that was more accepting of single people, where partnership was not THE thing but just A thing, this would all be much clearer in my mind. Sometimes a mutually beneficial partnership of convenience with another FDS woman doesn’t seem like such a bad idea 😅
[–]Fickle-Confusion-594FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re naive if you think men with a lot of money aren’t going to use the law to make sure you get precious little. I don’t know why this stereotype exists. Things you’re not entitled to: premarital wealth, his inheritances, and even 50/50 split of postnuptial wealth only applies in community property states (I think there are nine).
[–]staywiththecrownFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've been feeling the same way. Now that I've gotten over the fear of being unmarried at 30, my future looks brighter! It's still sad that good men are hard to find, but I'd rather cry about hypotheticals than to cry about abuse in a real, shitty relationship (shrugs).
[–]tepidpoopsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah, I’ve been feeling this a lot too lately. Like it’s just an echo chamber and I’m finally at the point where I’m like, I just want to focus on my level up.
[–]politelydeniedThrowaway Account9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey thanks for this. It’s a both/and. Posts like this scare me but I seek them out. I read here daily to remind myself of staying on my path but do agree that balancing it with content and activities that improve my life is pivotal. Because it is heartbreaking that it’s like this, and it’s important to confront and share these truths so that we are careful what we get into. At the same time, my goal is to live in my own peace alongside the faults of men. Because that is reality right? I deal with male clients all the time. I even have a boyfriend. It’s about drawing the focus away from achieving the best relationship to achieving the best self. And i agree sometimes the negativity is really rough to deal with seeing how women are treated. I guess I just feel like I need to see it to keep my head screwed on straight. Not sure if it’s the same for others, but just my two cents
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I want to put “Live In Your Own Peace Along Side the Faults of Men” on a bumper sticker. ❤️
Acknowledges harsh truth, while emphasizing that I can exist and observe it from a healthy emotional distance....
....a distance that allows for a primary focus on the bet with the best ROI- not ruling out romance for good, but acknowledging the odds of a good one, laying it (and my frustration) aside, and maximizing my own potential independently of it.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are right on all that. The only difference I see in why marriage is a goal for some women is so they can raise children in a marriage. If you’re not looking to raise children with a man… It really isn’t a good goal.
I do think this sub helps keep us strong in our commitment to ourselves and not to settle for LVM.
[–]kht777FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great points! I've been feeling the same way recently and I think you gave voice to a lot women's internal thought. I think a lot of women on here are subconsiously realizing this.
[–]yngdmbfullofcrmbsFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve never wanted to get married. It seems like a sham sold and packaged to women that does not benefit them at all.
I think once you let that notion go life gets much easier. It’s also so much quicker to kick a LVM to the curb when you aren’t legally bound to him.
I make it very clear in dating that I have no intention of marriage and the second he acts up he’s gone.
[–][deleted] 196 points197 points198 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
They are just too lazy or entitled to file.
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist196 points197 points198 points 5 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
Also most men won’t leave their loyal bangmaids past a certain point...especially if they hit the wall bad & don’t particularly fancy their chances being single again. They will only jump ship & monkey branch once they have a permanent Pickmeisha lined up in the background- once they know they can jump to something better for them... like some docile woman with more money/naivety that took the bait whole (often this woman will know about the ‘evil’ wife he’s cheating on too- but she believes him🤡). Even then they’re unlikely to be honest, they’ll wait to get caught- they would rather have their cake & eat it up until the very last minute where they are forced to go. They will exhaust all possible chances up until then.
They will stay & keep reaping the benefits of having a cook, cleaner & regular sex & someone looking after their kids in the mean time.....all whilst cheating & scouting for a replacement on the side. They will be plotting a whole new life behind their wife’s back without her knowing, might of even got their side chick pregnant or be planning to buy a house/move abroad...still they will stay with the wife & keep their double act up...even if miserable! They may stay bc she earns more etc, endless reasons. But this is what most men do...they cling up until the v last minute...even when the relationships clearly failing. Which is why I wouldn’t be flattered by these LVM clinging to you.
This does not make them more ‘loyal’ & ‘willing to work it out’ ...just more lazy, selfish, cowardly & codependent.
Someone posted about this ages ago...that most men are too cowardly to leave you & have the balls to tell you straight. I agree. They will just get more & more hostile or drop the effort till you eventually leave them or you catch them out. Bc their no1 priority is securing sex & all the perks with the least effort possible.
[–]Apricot_IbexFDS Newbie125 points126 points127 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The sheer number of women who believe those crazy ex-wife and ex-gf stories hook, line, and sinker....they even get on social media and post cringey shit like “he’s mine now!!! Get over it b*tch! You didn’t appreciate him and you made him miserable and now he’s got a REAL woman to treat him right!!” 🤡 I feel secondhand embarrassment, lol.
Oh yes, because his completely one-sided account of why the marriage fell apart is gonna be 100% reliable. There are certainly abusive and unfaithful women out there, but these MRA manipulators act like women are MORE abusive, unfaithful, and violent than men, which is the biggest bullshit lie, along with them whining about paying their share for their own children’s care as “wallet rape.” 🙄
Men are statistically far more likely to fucking MURDER their romantic partner, so where are the crazy ex-husband/ex-bf tropes? No, only female exes are attacked by other women and called crazy bitches. I don’t ever see men getting on FB posting about their girlfriend’s crazy abusive ex and how he’s a psycho dick, even though men are more violent. They generally don’t even care that much.
[–]granddaughterwitchFDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As Childish Gambino once said: "If you have a crazy girlfriend, you have a funny story to tell. If you have a crazy boyfriend, you gon' die."
[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The sheer number of women who believe those crazy ex-wife and ex-gf stories hook, line, and sinker....
My NVM ex used this against me. During our relationship, he never spoke ill of his ex-wife so it made me think he was high quality when he was really just a trashcan. He knew he'd look bad if he spoke poorly of her so he always pretended they just had an amicable breakup because they wanted different things out of life. Turns out, he actually cheated on her... yeah...
[–]Apricot_IbexFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I swear, they’ll try every trick in the book! Good for you for finding out the truth and “taking out the trash”! Cheaters and liars don’t change.
Keep in mind, too, that men usually cheat out of entitlement and have no remorse. Meanwhile, the standard woman who cheats is emotionally abused and sexually neglected, feels trapped or literally is trapped by money or threats, and is desperately trying to get her needs met and be comforted. Male and female cheating is NOT the same.
[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I definitely needed to read this. My ex/baby daddy uses phrases at me like loyal and willing to work it out, yet he has also told me straight up that because he has terminal cancer he doesn't want to have to go through the process of finding a new partner or doubts anyone would want to be with him. It's been almost a year since I left him and he is still clinging on, slinging threats, and throwing never ending manipulative word vomit at me. I'd go no contact had he been more responsible with his sperm.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Came here to say the same damn thing. If he's not going to put effort into the relationship, why do you think he would expend any amount of energy to end it? Staying or leaving requires just the same amount of work, and he isn't going to help.
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's exactly it. My exhusband dropped the divorce bomb on me, he hates me, never loved me, I tricked him into marrying me, he thinks about killing me, he desperately wants his freedom, etc.
He still wouldn't file. I had to do it. I had to do everything. He even griped, do I have to sign the papers now? He was very busy playing video games. Then he was stunned I told him to get out. He thought he could just live here.
The laziness and entitlement is unfucking real.
[–]Mellyinda01Throwaway Account11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I gagged when I read this. I hope you were able to move on easily from such trash.
[–]staywiththecrownFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I gasped at the sheer audacity of this!!
[–]shaboogie135FDS Apprentice31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fucking this.
Sooo many guys I've talked to onlinr are 'separated' and say they haven't filed because they're too lazy, its too expensive or they don't see a point unless they want to remarry. I unmatch those people at warp speed.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I worked with a guy who was separated from his wife for over three years and he never filed because she might change her mind and move back in someday. It was actually incredibly sad and pathetic.
[–]heliodromeFDS Newbie99 points100 points101 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s become completely clear that all the stereotypes perpetuated about women are simply not true and are designed to gaslight women into patriarchy.
[–]mercybenelliFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Stereotypes about women are just men projecting
[–]heliodromeFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup
[–]heliodromeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am trying to figure out why I couldn’t understand this sooner. It took so long. I was completely brainwashed.
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, and they will still try to convince you that they know better what you want than you yourself. It's insane.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Plus why do the work of finding a lawyer, initiating filing, figuring out what comes next, mauling it over for months to years...when someone else can? Like literally scrotes will stay in a marriage because it’s too easy to stay and they don’t think the woman is important or threatening enough to worry about the headache of divorce. And then when the divorce doesn’t go their way, it’s mUh uNfAiR cUsToDy and dUh wOmEnZ hAvE dUh aDvAntAge on all the typical subs
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist116 points117 points118 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Lmfaoooo men act like this is bc we’re big meanies& they have no clue why more women seek to divorce from them!
Is it to do with the fact that various women enter marriage under false pretences then slowly wake up to the fact their beloved ‘husband’ pulled a bait & switch & is actually a pornsick, cheating, abusive, lying ass lazy slob.
They really & truly believe you’re obliged to stay & be their eternal domestic bangmaid once the mask falls off.....no matter how much of a pisstaker they become.
Again men can never take any responsibility for why women run for the hills from them. You could have 1000 legit reasons for divorcing & they’d still go into fake vegetable mode with their shocked pikachu face & pretend it’s all the fault of superficial ‘modern women’ not knowing how to be a good (slave) wife
If men had any brains they’d clearly understand the higher no of women seeking divorce from them is a sign they’re collectively failing to satisfy us & do their job.
[–]heleninthealpsFDS Apprentice22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
shocked pikachu face
<3 So much this
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Collectively failing to satisfy us - YES!!
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They never cared about satisfying their wife. It's extra hard for them to comprehend that a woman can and will leave them only because... She's unhappy with them. They always think we are obligated to stay and serve them no matter how shitty they become.
[–]heleninthealpsFDS Apprentice115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Man : cheats on his wife, never cleans up after himself, stops brushing teeth, never washes his own clothes, forgets to pick up the kids, doesn't know how to buy shallots at the supermarket.
Wife: No sex and I'm doing everything anyways, so I'm leaving you.
Man: But whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! :'O
His Bro to the next girl he meets: "Why you believe in marriage - half of them ends in divorce, last week my bro's wife just left him out of the blue!"
[–]descending_angelFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't understand how the whole not brushing their teeth anymore is a thing. I've seen it so often on here and my ex did it too. Why that lol
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Ok cause the side gossip is actually a good point, and fuels these theories that males post online about cheating bitches and unfair divorce.
My husband came home a few weeks ago with some work gossip. He said that a co-workers wife randomly cheated on him when he left for a business trip and now he says that she’s super angry and bitter and trying to take everything, down to some expensive collectibles he has.
I explained to him that it doesn’t make sense that she would cheat and then be so aggressive during the divorce, especially knowing she cheated? I said the more likely case is that he neglected her for years and had an emotional/physical affair. She found comfort in someone else (and let’s not forget that she probably tried to talk to him about the issue and he probably acted like she was crazy or something) and also, initiating divorce can be dangerous for women for many reasons so we don’t know why she cheated instead of leaving. There are so many reasons that have to do with safety, maybe they live far from family/safe havens, she might not be financially independent, etc etc. just the way my husband said he was going on about it, I’m sure he just wanted to be a victim in front of his bros.
[–][deleted] 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Yup. In “Why Does He Do That?” Lundy Bancroft illustrated there is a huge difference in the cheating abused women participate in (a desperate attempt to be comforted and have their needs met while being too scared to leave) versus abusive men (who cheat out of a sense of entitlement and have no remorse even after they’re caught).
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I'm in my 50's. All of the married women I know who cheated did it for exactly that reason. They had been emotionally and physically neglected for decades and their affairs were out of desperation. There are plenty of men out there who know how to sniff these women out. They pursue aggressively until the woman gives in. I was targeted by someone like this. I didn't give in but I can tell you I was sorely tempted.
[–]ayhtdws1989FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
even when they knew you were married?
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Especially because they know you’re married. I had to lodge a harassment complaint against a guy at work for this.
[–]ayhtdws1989FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
do work places take this kind of things as complaints, idk he could go up to them and lie
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What?
[–]ayhtdws1989FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
like call u a liar and say he never harrased you
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Also I think men cheat to feel more manly and wanted and they also love the idea of keeping a secret. Because years ago I had concrete proof that an ex cheated, me being a pickmeisha, I didn’t confront him and instead asked if he wanted an open relationship. He starkly, definitively, angrily said NO. It was about the secret, because he didn’t want it out in the open.
[–][deleted] 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He wanted to fuck other people but you weren’t allowed.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]dzgataFDS Disciple47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I’ve heard tons of women say that men have done this to them. Why is that? Why would they take the route of becoming mean instead of simply ending it. Scrote logic baffles me.
[–]ItsInTheVaultFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because they are lazy. Also they don’t want to take responsibility, they can just have a pity party and say “she left me, 😩”
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"She just woke up some day and dumped me out of the blue, I don't even know what happened".
Translation: I was a neglectful abusive piece of shit for months/years so she got sick of me and decided she should leave and have her peace of mind.
[–]quiiidpr0qu0FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lets see... free sex.. minimal effort (their shitty self is their real self when theyre not courting or impressing or pleasing their women)... feeling better about themselves for not "breaking up" when theyre still being an asshole ironically.. also.. free sex.. and if she stays, cool. if not, cool.
[–]shaboogie135FDS Apprentice23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This literally just happened to me after 3 years. And the guilt/emotional pain that comes from being the one to end it when its not what you actually want is awful. Or, they cheat as a way for you to end it. The LVM leaves both situations feeling detached and emotionally okay while the woman is a complete disaster and will carry those scars with her. I absolutely resent him for cowardly ending it the way he did because I was forced to do it and have to sit with those doubts.
[–]Mellyinda01Throwaway Account7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had an ex who tried to pull "I don't know if want to continue or break up, give me time to decide!1!1!1"
My reply? "No, bitch. I'm deciding. Out."
I think these type of men are incapable of making decisions and planning for the future. It isn't something they grow out of.
[–]lala29291 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex told me he did this with his ex. He apparently had been cheated on by her and he supposedly checked out mentally, started his own emotional affair, started acting shitty to her so she'd make the decision to leave, and when she finally ended it with him, he then told me he was upset that she started dating really soon after that. He apparently told her to give it a month but she was like "no, I'll do what I want now".
That should have been a red flag for me. He probably was doing the same to me at the end. He got worse and worse but never pulled the plug. He was waiting for me to. But the most f'd up part is he would have stayed with me if I wanted to, just wouldnt have been high high effort unless I agreed with him on many more things. But I felt he was becoming abusive
[–]quiiidpr0qu0FDS Newbie-3 points-2 points-1 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
whats LVM
[–]staywiththecrownFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Read the Handbook, and you'll find the answer there.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice105 points106 points107 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Another fun fact...men invented marriage!
[–]HoneyNJ200068 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I've been saying for YEARS that marriage is a better deal for men than it is for women.
Men get themselves a damned indentured servant to take care of all their creature comforts AND bring in a paycheck on top of it. And then when they have kids, the woman also works harder in that respect, as well.
Marriage is a trap for women, not men. They get worked to death and for very little gratitude.
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
I am all for young women on this sub who want that beautiful ring and HVM husband and kids. That’s a wonderful goal. But at my age in my 40s marriage does nothing for me except cause me more work and frustration. I will never wear a man’s ring again because it’s really a shackle.
[–]SearchLightsIncFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's literally there to warn off other men from his "property"
[–]quiiidpr0qu0FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
......this...
[–]quiiidpr0qu0FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
yet society romanticizes marriage SO HARD. (i think women do so more.. romanticizing weddings etc)
[–]ayhtdws1989FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
after stumbling upoun fds, i really also wonder how so many women want this marriage thing like , sis how?
[–]quiiidpr0qu0FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah i swear women want it more initially and men eventually never want it to end.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m so happy I didn’t get married. I can’t believe I almost threw my life away.
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No women were involved in creating the writing of the marriage contract. No man asked for a women's opinion about this idea of "Marriage" before they proceeded with there plan.
sis where did u read about this
[–]theflameinthewindFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men don't initiate divorce, they murder their wives.
[–]Hipster-AuroraFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They push and push a woman to leave so they don't have to divorce her and look like the bad guy they truly are, instead manipulating it so she does even when she's the wronged party. It's utterly spineless and weak.
The strong gender, everyone.
[–]LingueenFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
men marry women so they can act as their servant/sex slave/mom all rolled in one and then have the audacity to be appalled when we get tired and ask for a divorce lol
[–]AyemHerselfFDS Disciple28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men like to bring up this statistic but never want to explore why women divorce in the first place. Do they think women drag their families into court as a fun pastime? Don't answer that.
[–]NiceforwhatthrowawayFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men: women initiate divorce more
And they never bother to find out why.
[–]DadsanarcFDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm getting a divorce from someone who has consistently treated me like trash. He's apparently surprised and devastated that I don't want to stay. Even while acknowledging that this experience has been traumatic for me.
[–]Mellyinda01Throwaway Account2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best of luck to you in getting through this.
[–]yallloveFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well yes, why would men want to lose a therapist, a house cleaner, a cook and a sex partner all in one? And all the women are losing is emotional neglect if not outright abuse.
[–]stg21987FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I recently had this conversation with a male. He follows all that red pill blue pill whatever mumbo jumbo. He stated that women file for divorce more often than men and I went off! I told him that men like to have their cake and eat it to. Of course a man won’t file for divorce! He’s got his wife that he treats like absolute shit and his side piece that he can go off and disappear with. The wife puts up with it for so long until she’s had enough and finally files for divorce. I almost threw my phone violently texting replies to him. The audacity. 😡
[–]Sekina7FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the honest truth but the brainwashing and conditioning of not only women to believe it's what they NEED as opposed to It being something the should want only with the right man and in a mutually beneficial circumstances but ALSO men are in SUCH denial they really bought into the notion that it is what women need, it's more beneficial to women and women are nothing without the status of marriage. It's sure it's why they feighn surprise when the majority of women file for divorce. Their ego's never saw it coming and that resent that women have choices and often happier lives alone than with the wrong man. Outside of the Western world the majority of women could not even conceive of this being the case and religious grooming , Abrahamic in particular has a lot to do with this. It is SAD.
[–]heythere360FDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
ChEaPeR tO kEeP hEr
Okay Harold so shower and stop sexting cam girls in the mean time so she doesn’t leave your ass and get her much deserved alimony.
[–]atuanFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Women want marriage cause they have an unrealistic view of what marriage is.
Men don’t want marriage because they have an unrealistic view of what it is. Once they’re in it and see what it does for them, they can’t let go.
[–]charlotte823240FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So true. Women are taught from a young age that men will save them and that love from a man is the greatest proof of a woman's worth.
[–]atuanFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And men are taught from a young age that women are selfish gold diggers and it turns out they aren’t and they don’t appreciate the nurturing and attention until it’s gone.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Doesn't FDS encourage commitment? I have seen this in a few posts. What are your thoughts? What if we never want to get married? Are we the forever girlfriend, or are we being smart? I think men get really lazy in marriage. Harder for the woman to leave.
If I get married, it will only be later in life, just prior to having a child, with a pre-nup (addressing any shared assets, fair child custody arrangements) and won't ever combine finances. Will have a joint account for shared expenses that we both contribute to.
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In my opinion, it depends on whether you’re wanting children with a high-value man. If you do want children and a family, marriage is a good goal to have.
If you don’t want children or are older, you have to really ask yourself what marriage gives you. Are you looking for financial security? Hopefully you will have your own and you need to protect yours from someone else. Are you looking for someone to take care of you when you get older? Is counting on a man the best idea for that?
I have seen wonderful relationships work with people where they are committed to each other but not married. Makes it easier to keep your assets separate, each person takes care of their own family, etc. No legal headache if you decide to split.
You could call yourself a forever girlfriend in that situation or you could call yourself an independent woman who enjoys spending time with one man but takes care of herself.
I got married a second time so my husband could get on my insurance. Big mistake. It sucks that in our country we have to think about considerations like insurance with marriage.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes, I agree. Thanks for this. I always considered myself an independent woman by not wanting marriage, and wanting to protect my assets and investments. I am about to start buying property with only my name on it, and I want it to be only mine. I have been with a wonderful man for almost 4 years, and we have talked about marriage a lot, but I never really wanted it as I am failing to see the benefit. Then I kept seeing these "forever girlfriend" comments and it has been making me doubt myself.
[–]CoffeeAndCorpsesFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It also depends on what kind of relationship you have with whoever would be your legal next of kin (if unmarried, it would be your parents unless they're deceased, then siblings).
If you trust that your family would act in your best interests if you were incapacitated, there's not much need to marry (spouse becomes NoK automatically). If you trust your partner more than your family, marriage would ensure he's the one with legal authority to act on your behalf.
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I would prefer to be a forever girlfriend, unless my partner and I decide to have kids/share assets.
[–]AbundantOverflowFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. This whole wife vs girlfriend thing is rooted in patriarchal conditioning outside of men who have large quantities of assets to confer onto you and/or children.
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Also, most men don’t even want to let me keep my own name. I like my surname, but when I bring up that I don’t want to change it an argument ensues. Why should a man get to brand me and take away probably the only thing that’s ever been mine? Why is that so acceptable?
Also, given the fact that study after study has shown that married women are worse off than single women, I just don’t think marriage is that worth it. It doesn’t guarantee commitment, and there’s been so many cases of men doing the bait and switch once the ring is on your finger.
[–]AbundantOverflowFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. I wrote a whole rant here about the last name thing. Modern marriage is a remarkable scam for women. Conditioning be damned; I will love and live on terms that benefit me.
[–]akashyaboaFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So he admits that husbands generally make their wives miserable and that men can't even keep one woman happy ? Huh we been knew... They think they put the ring on the finger and the effort stops there pfffff
[–]Angelarae2079 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a friend that got married at 18, the “marriage” lasted 6 months before she moved back home. She left it up to him to file for divorce because she didn’t want to pay the $100 or whatever it was to file. It took him SEVEN YEARS to file. The only reason he even did it was because he was dating a girl that made him.
i legit shat my pants bc this is the truest sentence ive seen in the entire year.
now if only i can stop catching feelings and being possessive, dependent and needy...
[–]askmeifilikeanalFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think the reason a LOT of women initiate divorce is because they was backed into a corner. Their husband gets progressively worse and treats them worse until they have no choice but to leave. They try to work it out but the men refuse to call it so they woman has to. Then he doesn’t look like the bad guy. I’ve actually had men tell me they did this Bc they were talk chicken shit to end it
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I always laugh at the posts from men like: "It's not worth marrying women, they don't bring anything to the table". In my country statistically in 2/3 married couples the wife is both working and taking care of the kids & house chores while the husband is only working. In most cases both of them work the same amount of hours outside the home, so my question is: What men bring to the table additionally? (btw I'm from Europe, so it might be different than in USA)
[–]Travelbabe95Throwaway Account2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The majority of men that get married only do it when they run out of options don’t have many options or they have done everything and screwed everyone under the sun until they just settle and figure it just easier to marry. Also they take years to marry the women they are with. People get married after 8 years or longer or being together. Some even do it out of laziness. Men they want to get married. They do it because they have to. To please family or their long time girlfriends. That’s my opinion.
[–]IDontExist4uFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can confirm. I served my divorce. He remarried to a woman 7 years his senior with 2 kids by 2 different men, and he helps her NONE, that I can tell. He opposed it until he could find someone more gullible.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I ain’t marrying until I marry a wealthy guy with no prenup.
[–]quiiidpr0qu0FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
SAAAAAAME
[–]GypsyFR1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao so true! My sister said I won’t be a real woman, if I don’t get married and have kids. She’s a pick me 🤦🏾♀️
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Does he think that is an own?
Big Demeanour has a little brain. Think it through Einstein. There might just be a reason women are leaving your crusty asses, even when it means economic ruin. You're really that bad - yes you are.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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