How are you leveling up?

spliff1506 · 2022-03-17T13:04:50+00:00

I just got hired for my dream job, and am thinking about finally getting a poodle. I’d like to start a diet and exercise plan to live a healthier lifestyle, but the dog will be a big part of that with daily walks, etc.

Madholley · 2022-03-17T14:54:46+00:00

Ok sorry for fangirling in all the comments but holy shit I love this sub. Y'all are amazing!!!

My level ups: -Professional designation, which led to a big raise

-Responsible budget for the big raise, so my savings goals are set for the next two years and I finally feel comfortable

-Started a side consulting business, for fun money

-Using fun money to travel, build a better wardrobe, and improve my house

-Adopted a dog because I wanted something to care for and walk

-Taking training to get certified in group fitness so I can get others to move and be healthier

-Started therapy to finish healing from my NVX who verbally abused me and gaslit me constantly

-Started professional coaching to improve my workplace impact

I couldn't have come this far without all of you and your daily support, laughs, commiseration, everything. This has been a safe place for me when I was tempted to text him, when I was feeling down, when I needed friends. Thank you to everyone who contributes to this sub and the mods who keep it protected. I am so grateful to have this group!!

BlackJeepW1 · 2022-03-17T13:04:02+00:00

Working on mental health-started antidepressants and did a few outpatient programs in addition to the past 4 years of therapy. Also changed my birth control and started taking vitamin D in case either of those were causing or contributing to my depression. Trying to spend more time outside when the sun is out and get some exercise at the same time. Downloaded some apps for like meditation and mental health check-ins.

Professional-taking college classes this year for bookkeeping. Plan to continue and get another degree, something with business or finance, but not sure what I want to do there yet. My grades are stellar as always!

Skin care-finally got my rosacea under control enough where I can moisturize without it making me break out. I have a really nice skin care routine now that’s manageable even with the depression.

Overall just trying to take better care of myself. I’ve always put everyone and everything else first. It was not only not appreciated but now I am paying the price for it.

LittleWinn · 2022-03-17T11:51:11+00:00

I’m actually eliminating sources of stress and labor for myself. I’m overwhelming myself instead of focusing on being present for myself and my daughter. Here’s to simple.

Lunabeandream · 2022-03-17T12:13:06+00:00

I just got approved for my first house! I’ve been working on my novel, spending time with the girlies, helping my sister through a breakup, and working a lot. I’m also on a weight loss journey. It’s giving me so much confidence. Men still ask me out and I say no. I’m recovering from being blindsided by a man who I thought respected me. I was wrong. I don’t want to date for the next six months. It’s been great and this forum has helped me realize, there really isn’t anything wrong with me.

Inspection-Critical · 2022-03-17T13:44:48+00:00

Just got a promotion at work. Management offered me a 20% raise, I got them to 75% plus paying for my professional development with an industry coach.

I've now paid off my student loans early, got Invisalign, maxed out my Roth IRA for the year, and I'm looking to buy a new car this summer.

My hobbies fell by the wayside with the pandemic and honestly, I'm exhausted and still recovering. I'm looking into joining a local lifting gym.

My biggest priority is seeing family and friends again. I've started scheduling brunches with my girlfriends and my social calendar is currently filling up for summer.

Annie_Landsberg · 2022-03-17T17:21:35+00:00

I just broke up with the biggest LVM I ever met ( my fault for not vetting better) A few days after I negotiated for a new job at a salary higher than anything I've been paid before.

I'm going to spend my time being the BEST person this new company has seen and saving t buy a house BY MYSELF, FOR MYSELF.

No more distractions, only upgrades.

reddishfish13 · 2022-03-17T12:07:28+00:00

A big part of decentering men for me was centering female friendships and investing in the women instead. I think pets can be helpful too for this, since you can cuddle more with a dog than your bestie usually 😂

Career, ongoing education, hobbies, family relationships, friendships, side projects - all of these are things that I would like to keep up with or without a significant other in my life. Decentering men isn't about that want.

Decentering men is trying to escape patriarchal programming. Self love comes first (with boundaries!), but loving your women friends is a next step. If you hate or dislike other women as a gut reaction, ask yourself why that is.

It's okay not to build friendships with pickmeishas since they can destabilize your own growth, but there is a difference between friendship and friendliness. We are conditioned to be nice to every man that we meet, but not necessarily women. The patriarchy also conditions us to hate ourselves.

I firmly believe that self-hatred is the root cause of hate toward other women. When you practice self-love, you must practice loving those that are a reflection of your womanhood. The best way to do this is by building friendships with other women.

Glad_Boysenberry_337 · 2022-03-17T11:20:39+00:00

Right now I’m in a coding boot camp to become a software engineer. Tryna get a job in tech so I can build applications that will help women.

Ex_pickme_levelingup · 2022-03-17T13:09:58+00:00

I am doing the hard work of going to therapy and confronting my chronically low self esteem.

I’m working hard to learn to set boundaries and recognize when my boundaries aren’t being respected.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2022-03-17T13:31:11+00:00

Career: I work three jobs. A few months ago, I landed a job with good pension but now I just started another job with a better pension package and work benefits. I also freelance on the weekends and my contract with this company has also been renewed as well.

Education: I’m a graduate student and I’m about half way done my masters program. I’m excited to graduate next summer.

Hobbies: I spend most of my spare time shopping and going to trendy restaurants.

As you can see, I just don’t have time to be dating right now. I’m trying to juggle three jobs while attending grad school. At this point, I just don’t see how having a man in my life could benefit me. From experience, men have complained and whined about my busy schedule and how I never made time for them. Sadly, they expect me to drop everything for them but will not do the same for me.

A story from my past:

My ex received a contract with an undetermined timeframe. In short he didn’t know when he was going to be done. He suspected that it was going to be for working at least six months. He dropped me the same night he got the job offer and said that we couldn’t hang out every week like we used to. I got sad and ended up taking extra shifts to fill the void. Turns out, they kept him for two weeks (I think he got fired or they didn’t like him enough to keep him) while I was booked for a months worth of work in advance. He called me in the middle of my shift expecting me to leave work to hang out with his friends and him. I said no, because I already made a commitment towards my company and they already paid me a portion of my earnings in advance. I told him that I’ll be free after the month. His made this comment about how his friends thought that our relationship “was on the rocks” because I didn’t want to hang out with him. He was implying that I made him look bad because I wasn’t there to hangout with him and his friends.

SupremeDearLeader · 2022-03-17T13:48:52+00:00

Kicked out the broke covert narc hobosexual , no more free emotional/ physical labor , now hit the gym a lot !!💪

radfem_babe · 2022-03-17T16:27:34+00:00

Got a therapist, finally.

Got my first job, finally. It's in retail and it's minimum wage but it's a step forward.

I'm planning to go back to school in the fall. I took a semester off. Have to get my shit together for that.

My goals: Get my driver's license, Start getting up early, at least 8 am. Start eating healthy no more junk food, start my weight loss journey. Take a walk everyday for mental health/weight loss. Clean my room (depression nest)

It's alot 😮‍💨

Serious_Papaya8615 · 2022-03-17T12:04:09+00:00

Eliminating pointless labour that society places on women since early childhood. So many women are unable to leave the house without makeup on, are scared to be seen with body hair, burn their hair down with hair straighteners and toxic chemicals, live with undiagnosed and untreated eating disorders to stay skinny and develop foot and spine problems from wearing high heels. Unlearning misogynistic patriarchal garbage is one of the most important ways to mentally level up as women.

The “I do it for myself” line is always just sad. It’s like when an abuse victim was instructed by the abuser what to say to everyone who questions their situation.

Ericaeatscarrots · 2022-03-17T17:45:01+00:00

I’m just embracing the real me more and more every day. My little quirks, the things that make me happy, listening to my inner voice, and trusting in the universe. I guess you could say focusing on inner peace

ariaa126 · 2022-03-17T13:22:02+00:00

I took two massage courses in an attempt to learn new skills and started going to the gym. I’ve lost 5kg since the end of last year. Of course there are men who mentioned they don’t see any difference but I brush them off and not take whatever they say to heart. I’m planning to take up a new skill this year as well to continuously improve myself.

basuragoddess · 2022-03-17T20:45:00+00:00

After I broke up with my last dude, I decided I was entirely done with men and relationships for the foreseeable future. I’ve been doing an online social media marketing course, working on getting to the gym and outside more/eating healthier. I’m getting my first big tattoo and getting ready for a hot girl summer lol. I listen to audiobooks like crazy to keep my mind focused on learning new things.

It’s all been so much easier to focus on without worrying about some man deceiving me.

AriaStarlights · 2022-03-17T13:10:45+00:00

I focused on school and my career so now make a comfortable, stable living with 0 debt and high credit score. I have more than enough savings for a down payment on my first house and a financial cushion in case of emergencies. All things I've gotten for myself by myself. I'm working to develop my skills further every day, so my knowledge and skillset are more valuable every day. I'm learning to cook even better so I can feed myself amazing meals every day. I'm getting out more, making more connections, developing my social skills, exercising, and developing a healthy routine. I'm physically healthy, living in a nice environment that I happily regularly clean, and am feeling amazing with no mental or emotional issues! It's amazing how wonderful life is when a man isn't there to ruin it with his porn-sick dick's desires.

levelupbestie · 2022-03-17T13:21:43+00:00

Since discovering FDS I’ve stopped entertaining my (former) FWB/situationship and have started taking care of myself more. I started to focus more on my mental and physical wellbeing as well as teaching my young son about healthy boundaries and relationships. Of course I know FDS is not a parenting sub, but hearing all of the experiences with scrotes LVM makes me want to work even harder at avoiding that sort of outcome for my son’s future.

cumlady · 2022-03-17T19:39:19+00:00

I’m working on my credit, starting a new job soon with higher paying salary, and staying celibate!

SakuraGirl88 · 2022-03-17T18:32:55+00:00

It's not much, but I'm beefing up my resume to get a better paying job in my field.

NotYourBizThrowAway · 2022-03-17T20:46:54+00:00

I started biking semi-long distance, put a lot of energy into growing my business so I can make it my full time gig and eventually leave my 8-5, I started traveling solo more, being more intentional about time with my female friends, focusing on buying a house and other things I want regardless of if a partner is in my life.

spicyspa · 2022-03-17T14:54:37+00:00

I'm going through therapy for my CPTSD and the results from reducing my trigger reactions has been amazing. I'm starting a new job in a week. I've finally arrived at a plan to decorate home.

I also told someone I was off the market and forgot that I'm not dating anyone. It rolled off my tongue. I am very happy. If I meet an HVM, great, but I am happy without one.

ShitFaced_Dumbledore · 2022-03-17T15:14:03+00:00

I’ve leveled up so hard after getting dumped by an ex who disguised himself as a HVM.

Career: I got my dream job and am now making close to 6 figures in my field, which is rare in my profession.

Lifestyle: I got a breast reduction 1.5 months ago which has made me 10x happier. I love my new boobs and feel so much more confident.

I joined a spin class to get back into shape I really struggled because of my giant boobs to maintain an active lifestyle.

I’m taking walks everyday and making sure to spend time in the sun since I WFH.

I’m getting contact lenses because I hate the feeling of wearing glasses and I always break them lol

I’m working on redoing my wardrobe which is full of clothes that are like 5+ years old. I’m trying to hone in on my style and my aesthetic, no loger caring about trends.

Trying to find a therapist to treat my CPTSD. I’ve reached out to a few waiting to book my first therapy session.

Trying to make new female friends and making plans to connect with old friends who live farther away. I’ve made one new friend and focusing on finding HVW to spend time with this year.

I got Invisalign last year! I’m finally getting my attachments out next week and getting retainers put in. So excited to not have to deal with aligners anymore lol

savedempath · 2022-03-17T22:52:06+00:00

Staying focused on my weight loss journey.

Rollerskating as a new hobby. I used to rollerskate a lot when I was a kid. starting a rollerskate tik tok to just have an outlet.

Doing more things with my friends. Lunches, drinks and just having less convos about boys and more about life! Focusing more on my finances.

Starting my loc journey and embracing my natural hair, and also embracing wigs and just trying all different things with my looks. Along this same lines is embracing different fashion styles, experimenting more with makeup and finding a good skincare routine.

Finding a Yoga practice I like.

Enjoying my company and going to the beach as much as possible and going on hikes.

Journaling daily to ask myself questions about how I show up daily. I realize lots of my issues also show up in other relationships.

I realize I spend too much time worried about how someone will fit into my life, when I'm not even fitting in at my best yet! I need to get there first and build my confidence.

insurrectionaryINTJ · 2022-03-17T18:22:14+00:00

I got rid of my toxic job. I didn’t realize how much of myself and my own goals I was sacrificing being in perpetual burnout at the job. Now I am applying to law school and studying for the LSAT full-time for the first time, and giving it the attention it deserves. I also signed up to volunteer at a couple nonprofits- one for victims of domestic violence and one for community economic development and I have been spending my time putting clothes up on my Poshmark and Depop closets. On Fridays, I take myself out to eat fancy vegan sushi and then binge watch new shows afterwards.

mothboon · 2022-03-17T21:45:22+00:00

I'm currently working on getting back in shape and getting my confidence back after being couch bound for 2 years from a reaction from the wrong antibiotics. It's a long road ahead, but I'm hoping to find a job and save up to publish my book series and take courses to improve my digital art skills

Quirky_Confusion_235 · 2022-03-17T23:38:50+00:00

New job, new city, new apartment. Started attending some dog training classes to help me strengthen my bond with my pup and soon I’ll be starting a language class so I can make friends in the area and keep learning. Sometimes I feel like I’m so far behind, but I have to remind myself that even tho I’m starting over I’ve made so much progress. Just need to focus more on my mental and physical health this year. I’m better than where I used to be, but I know I’d be happier if I made myself more of a priority. So inspired by all of you here!

4E4ME · 2022-03-17T15:31:14+00:00

I have a good job, and I have real estate, so in a way I am set and could just cruise on my current earnings while I pursue personal hobbies, but the last couple of years have really shown me that I need to have financial freedom from my job, so that if I choose to I could walk away at any time.

So I am currently learning more about how to use leverage, how to create passive income, how to use tax codes in my favor, and overall how to create generational wealth. When I used to hear things like "rich people never pay taxes" I really had no idea of what that meant. Now I do. Currently exploring ideas of what I want to do for passive income.

Kernowek1066 · 2022-03-17T16:03:31+00:00

I’m recovering from my chronic illness amazingly well now for the first time. I do a martial art and train 3-6 hours a week. I’ve switched up my diet, sorted my sleeping pattern and I’m drinking more water

I went part time at uni to make my workload less because I care for elderly parents, and now my grades are consistently high and my mental health is so much better too. I also have more time for hobbies, so I’ve been able to finish my garden and get back into language learning.

I’ve invested more time into my social life and I have a wonderful circle of supportive friends who I see regularly along with my wonderful partner, who fits into my life and my social circles perfectly. I’m also about to get a really good promotion 😊 life is good

mxmoon · 2022-03-17T15:37:47+00:00

This year I want to focus on simplifying my life and having a set weekly chore schedule. I’m saying no to everything that doesn’t add to my life. My credit score has gone up, and I want to apply to grad school. I would like to be a bit more structured with my free time and get on an “adult” schedule even when I don’t have to work. But my main goal is being kind to myself. I don’t know why but I feel a little defeated and that’s scary to me. I hope to improve that.

CynicalSucculent · 2022-03-17T22:49:53+00:00

Just started a new job today. Also, I've been doing stand-up and practicing my craft so i can get better.

revengeofgivingtree · 2022-03-18T02:29:49+00:00

Learning how to set boundaries and getting another degree.

caffeine_inmyveins · 2022-03-17T15:45:25+00:00

I'm crazy about spin class these days! I'm slowly getting back to my pre-pandemic weight.

Also trying to improve my mental health, been seeing a therapist, doing mindfulness exercise etc.

Ashamed-Reputation-2 · 2022-03-18T09:10:29+00:00

therapy
eating healthier & working out more
doing the Google data analytics course
applying for new jobs, shooting for at least a $20k increase and relocating to a city with more young professionals
moving into a bigger apt
celibate for 6 months so far. I'm not even talking to anybody. I'm going to do at least a year or until I hit my physical and financial goals
planning trips with my friends
being more social
skin getting clearer
learning French and Spanish

I want to start going back to church and doing more hobbies

UnhappyMedia · 2022-03-18T16:23:59+00:00

After one horrible dating experience after another, I’ve decided to remove myself completely from men and pretend they don’t exist, which is perfect timing for me because it’s March and I can start my hobbies again! Tilling soil, planting seeds, preparing plants to raise monarch butterflies for the summer, exploring new flowers to grow, and working on my houseplant collection. I’ve also started focusing more on reading and spending down time doing things other than swiping on tragic dating apps. It’s amazing how much better I feel when Im doing something else with my time that actually fulfills me

roseinfullbloom · 2022-03-19T17:12:41+00:00

Omg yesss I love this. This January I enrolled in a program designed to assist you in becoming a full time artist. It's run by two strong women, a mother and daughter!! Right now I'm learning the ins and outs of oil painting.

Now I work full time in a female-dominated space, pay all my own bills, got my first super sweet amazing dog last year, spend my days off painting and growing, meeting amazing artist souls every week, started volunteering at my local women's shelter, every day I spend at home is a day of healing <3

I worked in a male dominated field since graduating college up until last year and had also been wasting my energy on scrotes - thinking money, kids and family was the key to happiness, as usual. Being single and pouring into myself has been incredible. The older I get (29 now) the more I realize how ridiculous it is that society pressures us into these things when we don't even yet know who we are.

MushroomsInTheAttic · 2022-03-19T20:42:31+00:00

I am working on a change in my career, including leaving my soul sucking job.

I bought a spin bike to improve the health of my joints, and got weights and a nice yoga mat. I found that yoga really helps my joint issues and I'm enjoying every minute.

Also, I finally started reading all the books I have purchased in the past year, since I've had a long reading slump and I have been just re-reading older books from my collection.

Also, I got a cat :)

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-03-20T01:28:47+00:00

Got my dream car last year! In the middle of switching careers. Saving for a down-payment on a house. 🖤

No-your-mother · 2022-08-24T12:05:08+00:00

Could I speak to the man in charge?

Title	How are you leveling up?
Author	fireforestfairy
Upvotes	286
Comments	68
Date	March 17, 2022 11:07 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tg7pbz/how_are_you_leveling_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-are-you-leveling-up.1107141 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107141

Comments