“My boyfriend thought we’d been engaged for two months. I had no idea.”

PhoenixRisingAsap · 2020-12-28T18:59:56+00:00

Men are so desperate to marry they cannot even be bothered to spend time on a proper proposal lmao

shinyjewels · 2020-12-28T19:00:56+00:00

He’s embarrassed that he might have to backpedal with his family but not because of his lack of effort or blatant miscommunication lmaooo

Summerisle7 · 2020-12-28T19:10:57+00:00

Surprised another lady from here didn't point this out yet, but...

THIS is why we don't say "sure I'd marry you" when he ain't really, really asking.

straighthairgreece · 2020-12-28T19:09:29+00:00

I'm speechless.

If I were her, I would seriously consider his mental state because that's some next level stupidity I would expect from a child.

Mysterious_Midnight7 · 2020-12-28T19:40:41+00:00

This sounds like a cheap scrote who really thought he was going to finesse a woman out of requiring an engagement ring. I'd bet anything he would get her a plain wedding band too.

needsmoresilk · 2020-12-28T19:48:14+00:00

Omggggg not only is he a fool, he actually thought she would handle the entire wedding planning!! “Have you worked out the budget?” I’m laughing so hard I can’t-

Story time! I dated an LVM for 9 years. 3 years into it, I asked him when we were getting married. He said he didn’t want to because he was a practicing Christian and he didn’t want to be “unequally yoked” with me, an atheist at the time 😁 (so why were you dating and sleeping with me, scrote?)

Anyway. We had a discussion that lasted days. I kept cOMmunICatInG the benefits of being married. He kept stalling. Eventually I gave up and said “let’s pick this up later”. I thought that was it.

Fast forward a few weeks, we were with friends when he blurted out “By the wAy, we’re ENGAGED!” Could have knocked me over with a feather. I kind of laughed in disbelief and asked WHEN we got engaged and WHERE was my ring? Our friends laughed too and he gave me the silent treatment the rest of the day for insulting him.

Later, his MOTHER AND AUNT showed up with flowers to congratulate me. His aunt called me “sis”. (What happened to being unequally yoked?)

I didn’t want to upset him further, so I went along with it. Also at the end of the day, I wanted to get married! Who cared if I didn’t have a ring or formal proposal? 🤮

That plus a number of other incidents woke me up to his LV, a little at a time. It still took me SIX MORE YEARS to leave mostly BC I felt bad for him - he’d threaten suicide and self harm each time I brought up breaking up. At least I negotiated a demotion to girlfriend by year 5 :)

Been out of that relationship for 6 years. The last time I saw him was when he was engaged to his now-wife. This guy was using a hair tie on his wrist as a reminder that he was engaged. A hair tie. She never got a ring either. Can I get a bullet dodged in the chat?

Inspection-Critical · 2020-12-28T19:20:29+00:00

[deleted]

2020-12-28T20:07:12+00:00

This guy is an entire other level of psycho! Engagements are announced publicly to friends and families for a reason. Imagine being engaged to someone and not knowing ???!! Are we living in a country where arranged marriages happen without a women’s consent?? I mean she is someone’s daughter after all. Her family and friends should know she’s about to get married No??? Psychopath much

ScrappleSandwiches · 2020-12-28T18:42:46+00:00

How lazy can a person be?

NotYourBizThrowAway · 2020-12-28T18:45:07+00:00

What is this fuckery

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-12-28T22:26:02+00:00

Okay, then I'm engaged to Alberto Ammann, he liked my comment on IG once, like I hope he's already planning, like this post makes me really anxious, so he better is.

2020-12-28T19:05:29+00:00

Isn't he a keeper?

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-12-28T19:25:33+00:00

lmao what the fucccck

I feel so sorry for her but also - why are you with this man child who can't even propose right? Or bother planning?? Lmao

vanillercandles · 2020-12-28T19:58:19+00:00

What wedding? I don’t even have a ring shmuck

Inspection-Critical · 2020-12-29T00:07:29+00:00

I stopped reading at “very casually dating for the first year or so”. You casually date for a few months max, not an entire year. Seems like he wanted to just keep having sex with her without any commitment and she was fine with it for god knows what reason. What is so wrong with our society that we are this scared of commitment? And how is “very casually dating“ different from “casually dating”? It’s like there is a competition to “out-chill” each other

AlexxyaKat · 2020-12-28T19:18:39+00:00

This sounds fake

Mind-Objective · 2020-12-28T19:03:34+00:00

Goodness dump him

Pasdepromesses · 2020-12-28T19:02:54+00:00

DKM 🤣🤣🤣

I’m still laughing.

Edit: a lot of LVM would be married right now and not having forever girlfriends if this is how it worked. No more future faking for them.

Sherbert-Trick · 2020-12-28T18:46:34+00:00

LOLLLLLLLL

kcookie94 · 2020-12-29T00:42:21+00:00

Kind of a different take on this situation but one of my favorite stories...

When my parents were dating, one day they were chatting with friends and the topic of marriage got brought up. They both already knew they wanted to marry each other, even though it had only been 6 weeks. So my dad turns to my mom and says “Well do you wanna?” My mom said she made him say it. She looked at him and said “Do I wanna what?” and he said “Get married?”

They were young and in college and weren’t super materialistic people. She said yes and was fine with the proposal because she got to pick out her own ring. 9 months later they were married.

On their 25th wedding anniversary, they went on a trip. One night while. walking along the beach, my dad got down on one knee, pulled out a ring, and re-proposed to my mom. He gave her the proposal she always wanted and deserved.

Even after 25 years, my dad was able show my mom how valuable she was and make her dreams come true. My mom still talks about it all the time and wears both rings everyday. 33 years together now and my dad is such an incredible HVM. not only to my mother, but to me as well. He works so hard at making sure I know what I am worth and what I deserve. Just last week he bought me flowers just because he thought I needed them. He does things for me without asking and sets incredible expectations.

HVM are out there. It is a struggle and there are many days where I feel like I will be alone forever, but my parents are quick to remind me what a true valuable relationship looks like and I am so lucky for that.

Hopefully this made some of you smile :)

Wildestrose1988 · 2020-12-28T19:28:07+00:00

Whaaaaa

petitpoupee · 2020-12-28T23:17:20+00:00

I have a feeling that he was saying this to have an excuse to break up with her and not be the bad guy...

MadamLeFay · 2020-12-28T18:46:44+00:00

Gawd, that was funny

Hardwatergal · 2020-12-28T20:13:42+00:00

Lmfao

HolaHulaHola · 2020-12-28T21:54:30+00:00

Did he propose? Where was the ring? If there was none of this, then they're not engaged. He needs to talk to his mother and set things straight.

Half_Halt · 2020-12-29T02:05:30+00:00

Just when I thought I'd heard everything...the internets deliver!

zeekleavesascar · 2020-12-29T05:33:53+00:00

Sad to say but this reminds me of my LVM ex husbands first ‘proposal’. We were driving in the car and he made a comment about wanting to change my last name. I, like the woman from this post, took this conversation as a simple discussion about possibly getting married. A few months later he made a comment about me turning down his ‘proposal’. I was completely lost as to what he was talking about. We actually did discuss it though and I let him know that when he wanted to actually propose to me that it needed to made clear, ya know like how proposals go, that he was asking me to marry him. The second go at it was much more successful. Sometimes men are idiots.

ShadowoftheGrimoire · 2020-12-29T13:29:27+00:00

Yeah no. It’s an instant Block-Delete situation now if some man goes around telling people that I’m dating or engaged to him without having a clear sit-down discussion about it WITH me first.

I got into an argument with my mom about this the other day. She said that in the past I had dated this person who was a friend of one of my friends. I told her that since he never asked me to date him that I wasn’t dating him.

I don’t get where people think they can get away without having a clear discussion about things like relationship status. Like he doesn’t get to decide one-sidedly that he’s dating/engaged/ what-the-F-ever. I refuse to be steamrolled into going with someone else’s view of a situation. NO MORE!

whatsausername1000 · 2020-12-29T15:22:53+00:00

am i the only one who thinks this is a manipulative tactic? he’s tried to trap her into an engagement by making her feel bad that everyone already know and is soooo excited... so she kinda has to now say yes and get on with the wedding or otherwise “she’s the bad guy”

maybe that’s whats happening or maybe i was just in an emotionally abusive relationship for too long

solowolfwarrior · 2020-12-29T04:06:06+00:00

But "women enjoy planning" right?

CompetitionMedical70 · 2020-12-29T04:24:58+00:00

If this is real it’s very bizarre. After that initial “engagement” he never bothered to bring it up again?? Wow.

KateJ1982 · 2020-12-29T05:48:59+00:00

What does he think, he can manipulate her into marrying him to avoid him being embarrassed in front of this family? And he still can't be bothered to get a ring and propose in a half-decent manner?

At least there's some hope for this girl, realizing he has put no effort into the biggest decision of their lives and does she really want a future with someone like that? On the other hand, she came to reddit to discuss it instead of moving out.

olivegreenph · 2020-12-29T01:55:12+00:00

Yikes!

greatcathy · 2020-12-29T12:59:27+00:00

LMAO

Title	“My boyfriend thought we’d been engaged for two months. I had no idea.”
Author	ScrappleSandwiches
Upvotes	457
Comments	81
Date	December 28, 2020 6:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/klw6xv/my_boyfriend_thought_wed_been_engaged_for_two/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-boyfriend-thought-wed-been-engaged-for-two.340904 https://theredarchive.com/post/340904

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