Her Persistence Paid Off: How many red flags can you count in this wedding announcement?

cicerii · 2021-11-15T03:47:39+00:00

Before the paywall:

🚩Four years ago, Barbara Delgado received a text message from Giovanni Rivera asking who she was.

🚩“I was partying like a crazy person and had so many numbers I didn’t know who she was,” said Mr. Rivera, 40, who at the time was 🚩separated 🚩from his first wife and enjoying the bachelor life. “I met a lot of people because I didn’t want to be alone.” 🚩

🚩“I told her my philosophy of life and discovered she was a great listener,” Mr. Rivera said.

Months before they began talking, Mr. Rivera in February 2017 was 🚩suspended🚩 without pay from his position as a Port Authority of New York and New Jersey police officer, leaving him with 🚩more time on his hands. 🚩(He is appealing the decision.)

Averyhvw · 2021-11-15T05:12:14+00:00

Red flag 🚩 that I cannot get passed: She doesn’t remember meeting him and he was a police officer… my intuition says he totally saw her somewhere and used his privileges as a cop to find her information. At best he made a mutual friend give it to him and then proceeded with this play act of “I was partying and meeting so many women I just text random numbers in my phone asking them who they are” 🤡🤡🤡

Seriously though, that’s not just a Bobo the clown level red flag for me, that’s a John Wayne Gacy killer clown level red flag 🚩🤡🔪🚩

ceramicunicorn · 2021-11-15T03:54:33+00:00

No f’in way, her name is literally “Barbara”, I cannot even....Barb, Patron Saint of Builders jokes are just low hanging fruit here 😂

Ok but seriously, for the sake of the sisterhood, now that she’s already in, all I can say is I hope the prenup is in place and that these improvements aren’t just window dressing, and that it actually goes well. Crazier things have happened.

lucidlotus · 2021-11-15T04:58:39+00:00

WTF did I just read...WTAF, New York Times?

So many red flags here, but “She’s a great listener” and “She didn’t talk about herself”... 🤮

GalactoseGal · 2021-11-15T04:15:39+00:00

I LOVE READING THESE they are a minefield. This poor woman clinging for dear life, send Jesus

aluriaphin · 2021-11-15T03:50:19+00:00

I think I would flair this "Pick Me Culture" lmao. First two red flags without even needing to read it, 1) she's gorgeous and he's gross and 2) Mr. Rivera, 40, and Ms. Delgado, 33. 'Nuff said...

Edit: Oh JFC he's a "suspended without pay" cop and she owns a successful business?? Wtf is wrong with these Pick Mes???

Edit 2: FFS he was an alcoholic with anger issues about his suspension for TWO YEARS before he "tapered off" WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?!?! I hate everything...

nothingt0say · 2021-11-15T06:58:36+00:00

Sickening. Absolutely gross.

She married an unemployed ex cop. Not in a million years!!!

I hated the most how she "didnt talk about herself and was a good listener." They actually published that!!! Shame on them

extraodi · 2021-11-15T06:55:02+00:00

So she married an unemployed man, and considered this a win because “her persistence payed off” why?! Just why? What could she possibly like about him?

dogfart4 · 2021-11-15T08:56:58+00:00

No one single thing was mentioned about who she is as a person. Everything was about what she did for him….

BlueJeanMistress · 2021-11-15T04:09:43+00:00

“He proposed with a topaz ring” 🚩

Maybe if he had spent less money on booze he could’ve afforded a diamond ring.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-11-15T06:36:32+00:00

Sounds like he decided he wanted a relationship when he realized he couldn’t afford rent in the Upper East Side. Then, once he lived with her a bit he saw she would take care of his daughter. He realized he was 40 and that is a gorgeous woman in her early 30’s. This isn’t love. This is convenient for him. There’s nothing inspiring or cute here.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-15T07:07:57+00:00

“Anger issues” and alcoholic without a job and two kids he didn’t see until this barb the builder came. Girl you and this whole situation is pathetic.

thewetdog_ · 2021-11-15T12:21:13+00:00

I get the vibe that the ex-wife ran this announcement 🤭 and did it just right

Edit: a topaz ring 😩❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-11-15T05:25:35+00:00

I counted a least 25. Kinda lost count with all the eye rolling and nose snorting I was doing 🤡🤡🤡

Invisiblescars_123 · 2021-11-15T12:26:09+00:00

Cops get away with all kinds of stuff in America with just a slap on the wrist. I wonder what heinous act he must’ve committed to be suspended without pay.

Also, imagine dating an alcoholic, angry, and unemployed man who also happens to be a deadbeat dad (before she showed up).

plomerst · 2021-11-15T05:46:48+00:00

Wow sounds like satire! Wtf

ScrappleSandwiches · 2021-11-15T03:49:49+00:00

Full text:

Four years ago, Barbara Delgado received a text message from Giovanni Rivera asking who she was.

“I was partying like a crazy person and had so many numbers I didn’t know who she was,” said Mr. Rivera, 40, who at the time was separated from his first wife and enjoying the bachelor life. “I met a lot of people because I didn’t want to be alone.”

“I didn’t remember meeting him either,” Ms. Delgado, 33, added.

In the days after, the two talked on the phone several times before agreeing to meet the following week. “I told her my philosophy of life and discovered she was a great listener,” Mr. Rivera said.

Months before they began talking, Mr. Rivera in February 2017 was suspended without pay from his position as a Port Authority of New York and New Jersey police officer, leaving him with more time on his hands. (He is appealing the decision.)

Mr. Rivera, who is Italian and Puerto Rican, grew up in the Bronx and received an associate degree in labor studies from SUNY Empire State College. He has an 8-year-old daughter, Bella; he and his ex-wife share custody.

Ms. Delgado, who was born in Mexico City and raised in Seattle, graduated from the University of Washington with a degree in business administration. She is the owner of Hair After NYC, a hair and makeup business based in New York.

On July 5, 2017, the day of their first date for drinks at Carroll Place, an Italian restaurant and bar in Greenwich Village, Mr. Rivera arrived an hour early. Ms. Delgado, coming from work, arrived an hour late, just as he was preparing to leave.

“Barbara was apologetic about being late,” Mr. Rivera said. “I thought she was stunning, unpretentious and real. She asked about Bella and didn’t talk about herself. We gabbed until 3 a.m.”

Ms. Delgado said she liked his outgoing personality and smart humor. “He was family oriented and a great conversationalist.”

After their second date, at a comedy club, they spent a weekend in Atlantic City dining on Italian food and laughing. But when Ms. Delgado wanted to make the relationship exclusive, Mr. Rivera wanted to break up.

She was not willing to call it quits, however. “I quickly called him back because I thought he was honest, from a similar culture, and had a big heart,” Ms. Delgado said. “He encouraged my career, and I trusted him. I wanted to give it a chance.”

Her persistence paid off. In 2018, they moved into an Upper East Side apartment together, where the couple was forced to confront Mr. Rivera’s anxiety about not working and his frustrations about needing to borrow from his savings.

“My anxiety was high and I drank to feel normal, but after two years of Barbara’s love and waking up happy each morning, I tapered off,” he said. “She has supported me every single day.”

Ms. Delgado added, “Even though we had some rough patches with his anger over the job situation, I am an optimistic person, and he treats me with love, like a best friend. Things are better now.”

In December 2020, the couple moved to Edgewater, N.J. They spent a great deal of time with Bella, taking her to area malls, street fairs, trampoline parks and on trips to Lake George. “Barbara has helped me gain the love of my daughter who barely saw me during my marriage because I worked such long hours,” Mr. Rivera said.

On Feb. 15, while Ms. Delgado was unpacking groceries in the kitchen, he proposed with a topaz ring. “I cried while saying yes,” she said.

They were married Oct. 19, on Miami Beach behind the Shelborne South Beach hotel, because Ms. Delgado had dreamed of an oceanfront ceremony in Florida. To honor their different cultures, the service was translated in English, Spanish and Italian by the officiant, Frank Nunez, who is ordained as both a Catholic and Universal Life minister. Face masks and hand sanitizer were provided to their 39 guests.

A 1950s Cuban themed outdoor reception featured cigar rollers and, as décor, a rented 1959 Ford Thunderbird painted pink.

“Givoanni’s struggles have been difficult, but have made our resolve unbreakable,” Ms. Delgado said. “Throughout all of that hardship our love grew stronger. We can face whatever challenges come our way.”

FuckSakez · 2021-11-15T10:32:41+00:00

The NYT is trash for this. This is what we mean when we say women are socially conditioned to marry someone and not ‘be’ someone. Cultural misogyny at its finest.

“She didn’t talk about herself”-how the hell does that make her “unpretentious”? He’s a total narcissist. Imagine going on a date, getting monologued to and not being asked a single question?

He is not a prize. I hope she has a pre-nup or post-nup. She’ll need it.

ForestDwellingSkunk · 2021-11-15T21:13:34+00:00

I can’t even believe stories like this are still being printed. How do you write about a “love story” where the main characteristics of the woman are that she puts up with bullshit and not being prioritized, she “doesn’t talk about herself” and “listens to [the man’s] philosophy on life” and somehow try to spin this as romantic. I just can’t!! It’s just such blatant propaganda trying to convince women to put up with NV/LV man because they might!! Eventually!! Get a ring and have the opportunity to be a bangmaid who never talks about herself for the rest of her life. It’s honestly infuriating reading a story like this, I don’t know how anyone can see it and not be overwhelmed by the inherent misogyny.

lululuscious7 · 2021-11-15T07:00:32+00:00

Yikessss

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2021-11-15T08:49:15+00:00

Oof. Poor woman.

pipeuptopipedown · 2021-11-15T12:33:35+00:00

This is a trainwreck, not a love story. If that's the best you think you can do, guess what -- remaining unpartnered is still doing better.

vegan_cat_burglar · 2021-11-15T05:50:32+00:00

Every fucking sentence in this article was a red flag

TherulerT · 2021-11-15T16:56:00+00:00

“I told her my philosophy of life and discovered she was a great listener,”

Wow, I can so picture that first date of him just expanding on his "philosophy of life" and her just nodding along.

Maingurl · 2021-11-15T15:26:19+00:00

Please tell me people are roasting them in the comments lol

weightsANDplants · 2021-11-15T22:44:35+00:00

Found a bit more about him:

https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.nysd.532207/gov.uscourts.nysd.532207.1.0.pdf

accused and arrested for menacing in the second degree, assault in the third degree and harassment in the second degree. The higher misdemeanour charges were later dropped to harassment in the second degree.

So a good guy all round?

_cnz_ · 2021-11-15T23:22:01+00:00

All I had to do was look at his fat, greying and balding ass next to the beautiful women to know he was LV and this will not a happy matrimony

spacecats73 · 2021-11-15T07:46:12+00:00

This literally sounds like an article from The Onion. 🤪

Ninja_Flower_Lady · 2021-11-15T05:45:33+00:00

Sort of on a related note re: woman waiting for a ring. What do you guys think of Kate Middleton waiting for about a decade to marry PW? Would you say her situation is more forgivable due to his unusual position, or how he "wanted to make sure" b/c of what happened to Diana?

WandernWondern · 2021-11-15T17:04:23+00:00

I count at least 10. That’s being kind.

asocialsocialite · 2021-11-15T18:37:50+00:00

At least 13. And those are the most egregious ones.

crabbingforapples · 2021-11-15T03:42:43+00:00

Oh geez. The Times. This couple. This story.

Keepers12345 · 2021-11-16T03:01:45+00:00

Article free; no paywall via:

https://usanewslab.com/lifestyle/her-persistence-paid-off-the-new-york-times/

poison_snacc · 2021-11-20T13:49:31+00:00

Being suspended without pay as a cop absolutely means you attacked/injured/killed someone. Is he proud of this?! Is she?!

2021-11-16T19:08:52+00:00

This entire article made me so nauseous.

hdost34 · 2021-11-15T17:18:58+00:00

What a terrible catch…

Gologic34 · 2021-11-15T20:54:49+00:00

I can't. The unemployment. The drinking. The anger. The daughter drama. The TOPAZ ring. The giving and giving getting . . . what? What exactly is she getting again?

Title	Her Persistence Paid Off: How many red flags can you count in this wedding announcement?
Author	ScrappleSandwiches
Upvotes	269
Comments	113
Date	November 15, 2021 3:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qu6z2p/her_persistence_paid_off_how_many_red_flags_can/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/her-persistence-paid-off-how-many-red-flags-can.1084013 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084013

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