This is mostly just preaching to the choir and ranting. I have been paying more attention to the topic of sexual compability. I notice how men discuss this and specifically in the context of them ghosting/breaking things off after sex. It seems pretty clear to me that so many of them use it as an excuse to bump and dump. "I'm totally looking for a relationship but we weren't sexually compatible so I dipped right after sex!"
This shouldn't be a problem if you follow the FDS guide lines. A guy who needs to "test sexual compability" by the third date? Next. But it's incredible to visit other dating subs and see these discussions. He was totally into me but lost interest after sex, what happened! Oh been there done that, you weren't sexually compatible, too bad. So women get used and then basically told they were bad in bed and that's why he didn't want to keep seeing her lmao.
"Sex by the third date", "no man's going to waste their time waiting for possibly bad sex, gotta have it asap and see if there's potential for a solid relationship" yeah, right. Sounds like an excuse of someone who is looking to hook up as much as possible without saying it out loud. Being so worried about wasting time not having sex does not sound like someone who is looking for commitment. As if people don't know if they are sexually attracted to someone or not? As if grown people are incapable of discussing about sex, about their preferences, wants and needs. Am I hopelessly naive to think that if you are attracted to each other and willing to be honest and talk... there shouldn't be a problem? Talking about your expectations and what kind of sex life you want should give you a pretty good idea of what to expect, unless you're a virgin or unusually self-aware or lying.
Has anyone here dated someone, waited to have sex and then it was just bad and beyond fixing? Did you feel like you wasted your time?
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Imagine if the rhetoric were reversed, and instead it was "No woman will want to have sex with you unless you're able to commit and be a good, generous, and loving partner." "Women need emotional compatibility before sex, they need to know that they can trust you and feel safe with you," etc.
Why is the onus on us to give them what they want first?
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