This.

lanaisg0d · 2020-06-24T05:33:14+00:00

I have a pickmeisha mother who blamed me at 13 of “seducing” her boyfriend who was around 27 when she found out he was touching me inappropriately smh

ThatsWhat__I__Said · 2020-06-24T11:07:23+00:00

Something about this just resonated with me. I mean it was like a punch to the gut.

Looking back on my 35 year career in pediatrics - this also applies to the women who protect their husbands and boyfriends when the baby is brought in with signs of sexual abuse or other suspicious trauma. They will do anything to keep their man.

I'm literally shaking right now.

trippysloths · 2020-06-24T04:13:43+00:00

Yes and then the cycle of pedos never ends because of this pickme protection program !!

YarikEnterprise · 2020-06-24T06:58:09+00:00

Oh, my mother was pickmeisha enough she made me give her SHIRTLESS boyfriends massages.

Starting when I was six. And begging not to.

The mentality of pick-me directly leads to child abuse. I will never stop beating this drum. It is a large part of why I am here, because I firmly believe that any action I can take to help women here is the best way to keep more little girls from being created to live the life I did.

(I'm a stable, content, functioning adult now. I just have complex PTSD and zero contact with my family of origin.)

royaldetour · 2020-06-24T04:47:41+00:00

"Accusations like that could ruin his life!" Where is the sympathy for the innocent child? What about her life being ruined? They also excuse it for the sake of family unity and honestly just don't want to have to deal with the discomfort of facing the fact that there's a pedo in the family. It's disgusting. Those poor babies who have no one in their corner.

Queen_Anne_Boleyn · 2020-06-24T12:10:57+00:00

I work in child welfare. In one of my current cases, an 11 year old has made disclosures that she and her sister were expected to "keep the men happy". This included mom's boyfriends (plural), unke and 2 cousins. Trust and believe that I'm doing all I can to get justice for these kids.

Chobyo · 2020-06-24T08:43:42+00:00

A family member of mine molested his kids, they were 8-9 when it happened, mind you it came out 22 years later, because they couldnt keep it in anymore after their parents got a divorce. I can understand why a lil kid hesitates to go against a parental figure buut...now comes the disgusting part, apparently the sister of the pedo uncle KNEW ABOUT HIS TENDENCY TO GET TOO CLOSE TO KIDS, and didnt say a single word to my aunt about it...like wtf. God forbid but if my brother turned out to be a pedophile and I got to know about it the last thing I would do is stay silent. I understand how she doesnt want to destroy his life, but the first step would be immediately removing him from interacting with minors and sending him into therapy, alone. I would never let him get close to any kids again. Like wtf, how can u keep this shit a secret from their mother?

superheroxnerd · 2020-06-24T04:43:12+00:00

Holy shit. I never thought about this but it’s true. They are totally complicit in gaslighting everyone into thinking the husband is a good person. These predators have no consequences at home or the world because pick mes are so desperate.

MACMUA · 2020-06-24T04:02:47+00:00

Damn. This. It’s true tho. They are the cowards that don’t stick up for themselves you think they will defend a child or woman against their bf/husband? Nope.

tonha_da_pamonha · 2020-06-24T12:35:55+00:00

Too true. I told my mom when her boyfriend's nephew raped me and she said not to tell the family because she didn't want to create drama. Then in about 5 years she happily tells me he's getting married one day. Im like wtf? Did you forget? Why would you think I want to hear that?! My mom is a massive pickmeisha btw. She would eat shit for her boyfriend.

Raccoon328 · 2020-06-24T04:59:50+00:00

This is true! This is why I will never tell my mom the things that happened to me when I was younger, because I know the only person blamed will be me

PooPooMeeks · 2020-06-24T09:19:13+00:00

I was 19 when my brother in law decided to start flirting with me one night when he picked me up from my local junior college. I was so innocent I never got kissed before or anything, and this hairy grown man decides to ask me inappropriate questions and asks to touch my stomach. I gave in to some of the stuff at first because he really was a “brother” in my mind. My sister had dated him since I was 11 years old. I told my Dad about it the next day, and instead of directly kicking his ass, he cowards out and puts it on ME, the gullible victim that was raised by a strict mother that he allowed to mold me into a super sheltered, naive young woman. He says to me, “you want me to go talk to him?” I was very scared and immediately said “No! It would ruin everything!” I had a little baby niece and 10 year old nephew i was very close too and wanted to protect our family closeness. So I held this burden for 6 years, with the horrible memories festering in my mind ...

...anyways fast forward and when I’m 25 I tell what happened to my sister after she said insulting things about my future ex husband(who turned out to be an asshole too). Her response? She gets extremely pissed at me. She says “It will never be the same!” My Father gets pissed that I came out with it, and tells me that I need to “fix” what I ruined. My mother even was initially reluctant to be on my side, but eventually she was. And my brother in law denied it of course. He even tried calling me to confront me, because of course his ass didn’t think he did anything wrong. I never picked up the phone out of my ongoing fear of confrontation - a fear that would eventually ruin my life overall, but that’s another story...

I was getting married at the time and this secret ruined my wedding day. But long term my family threw me to the wolves. I confronted my Dad years later who reluctantly said “sorry” but made sure to say, “i was doing what i thought was right at the time, AIGHT?” Mom ended up getting “tired” of my resistance to be super friendly with my brother in law too. Me and my Sister ended up talking again after a few years, but we steer clear from mentioning her husband at ALL, unless it’s about pleasantry talk.

So basically family visits still happen, holiday celebrations, etc. Like nothing ever happened. But a few times a week, I still remember and feel a horrible tinge in my heart, of the trauma and betrayal, because of my family of pickmeishas. 🙁😡

PooPooMeeks · 2020-06-24T11:08:56+00:00

[deleted]

LiuCheeze · 2020-06-24T15:11:30+00:00

can confirm from experience... my mother is a pick me and doesn't believe me and I've had to cut contact with her, she convinced her whole side of the family including my brother that I was lying about sexual abuse that her boyfriend did - worst part = she's still with the guy

penelopesheets · 2020-06-24T13:33:26+00:00

Yep they protect men at all costs because without men they are nothing.

jetpatch · 2020-06-24T07:13:58+00:00

Never imagine it's only one group who do this. Everyone's at risk. There are rad fems at the moment covering up an abuser in their mist. Believe all women doesn't apply to their friends it seems. But that's exactly why predators get away with it for so long, they are always nice to most people.

PooPooMeeks · 2020-06-24T20:59:55+00:00

Wow this explains the mom whose 5th grade boy sexually assaulted me at the park when I was in kindergarten. I somehow had the strength to go knock on her door after and told her her son chased me down to take my pants off. She told me that’s just what boys do and that it’s ok.

outside-perception · 2020-06-24T08:45:22+00:00

Thank you! Been saying this since the beginning. My former MIL is like this -- didn't even let her second husband see his first child from his first marriage. When he was able to, that daughter got molested by HER Son from her first marriage (ex's older middle half brother) and she continues to act like it didn't happen and that the half sister is lying.

millionssomething · 2020-06-24T18:16:34+00:00

My mom is a massive pickmeisha, she would do absolutely anything for a boyfriend. My sister and I were neglected anytime her boyfriends needed anything. She even neglected her own health and sanity for them.

That being said, I learned almost everything I know from her because she taught me exactly what NOT to do.

paperbackbaker · 2020-06-24T18:53:59+00:00

my grandmother told my mom, aunt and cousins to not tell my grandfather about HER BROTHER who touched them because grandpa was a cop and he openly bragged about beating pedos possibly to death (This is in South America) in the 70s/80s those women grew up with mad issues.

Newwavesupport3657 · 2020-06-24T20:20:36+00:00

Omg I feel this :( my dead best friend’s mother is 56 and still a fucking pick me. She used my best friend to live vicariously through so she could feel young. Doesn’t care about anyone else but herself. She refers to young women as “hoochies.” And talks shit about young women and girls daily.

I had to go to her when I was evicted. She raves about my father despite what I’ve told her about him.

I told her he molested me when I was 5 and had sexually charged conversations towards me through my teens and 20’s and I want nothing more to do with him.

I’m guess I’m just another “lying hoochie skank” cause she doesn’t believe me or care. I got evicted and she made it all about her problems and I cut ties with her and she’s smearing me to my family.

As if my own mother didn’t smear me enough.

These women are evil.

I’m always afraid everyone hates me now

letsnotansaywedid · 2020-06-24T09:25:37+00:00

Yes! This is so sadly true. Some of them will sacrifice their own children in order to please a nem

eyooooo123 · 2020-06-25T22:16:06+00:00

I´ve also noticed this. Not just pickmes, also happens with codependents or simply naive people. When they have kids or become caretakers, they don´t just expose themselves, but also expose their kids to huuuuuuuuge dangers by closing an eye on bad behaviour or not recognizing it. The child will often go through physical, verbal/ emotional, sexual abuse due to not being protected properly. They´re usually really nice people that do no harm themselves, they just suck at protecting themselves and others from danger.

DonDove · 2020-06-24T11:50:53+00:00

What is a pick me if I may ask?

Title	This.
Author	Cleopatra_96
Upvotes	2274
Comments	85
Date	June 24, 2020 3:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hetqix/this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this.700029 https://theredarchive.com/post/700029

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