An apartment complex where men are banned

jessi387 · 2024-06-13T15:43:16+00:00

Yet in Canada when an orginzation tried to build a domestic violence shelter for men, the government veto’s it. Why? Because the ministry of women disapproved. Not joking

cjheart1234 · 2024-06-13T18:17:29+00:00

When I was being physically and emotionally abused by my wife, I had to leave the house. She got to stay at home, and I had to keep paying on the rent because it was under my name. All the bills were in my name and I had to keep paying them or else it would have impacted my credit score. I had to sleep in my car because I couldn't afford to live at a hotel. What do men do when they don't have cars or friends? Well they sleep on the streets or in the park.

Oh, and I presume transmen and transwomen, two of the most marginalized groups, aren't welcome either.

And OF COURSE this entire building is built by men. They want men to build the apartment but not step in after it's built.

It's like asking illegal immigrants to build the border wall.

ProtectIntegrity · 2024-06-13T16:45:21+00:00

This is fine as long as men who feel similarly are also allowed to do the same thing. I'd prefer to be in a mixed-sex place without sexists.

Title_IX_For_All · 2024-06-13T15:40:14+00:00

Everyone who discriminates believes, in their own mind, that they are doing it for a good cause. If people think it is ok to discriminate against a specific sex for the good cause of safety, they must also believe it is ok to discriminate against certain races, ages, nationalities, and so forth, for the good cause of safety as well.

But they don't. It's not about safety. It's about institutionalizing favor for women and fear of men.

mamapizzahut · 2024-06-13T15:57:45+00:00

I don't mind people building apartments only for women if there are zero issues with building apartments only for men. But it does open a can of worms for sure. Apartments only for certain ethnicities? Sexualities?

Jolly_97 · 2024-06-13T19:23:04+00:00

The audacity to exclude half the population from a shelter when we have a homeless epidemic.

jhny_boy · 2024-06-13T18:29:46+00:00

So will these mothers’ male children be kicked out at 18? How’s that gonna work? You’ve rented an apartment, saved up just enough to put your son through college and now suddenly he’s got his own housing costs as well because he’s just not allowed to live at home with his parents anymore? Seriously how is this gonna work?

Witch-of-the-sea · 2024-06-13T17:32:15+00:00

I don’t think that’s the way I’d phrase this situation. Not everyone needs to be given access to every space. I don’t expect to be given access to the Vatican archives, for instance. The entire city of Makkah (Mecca) is closed to non-Muslims. Mount Athos, Greece doesn’t allow women for religious reasons. As a cis-gendered woman, I don’t think I should go into the men’s restroom room. A regular person shouldn’t be allowed into the surgery rooms at the hospital, that’s for patients and doctors/nurses. I don’t see anyone arguing that the special Olympics should be open to anyone and everyone to participate. A 55+ retirement community has every right to turn away a 25 year old trying to move in. A men’s only meeting for AA is valid, as is a women’s only AA meeting, because the reasons someone might need that meeting might have to do with the other gender, or society’s expectations of your gender, and having a safe place where people can relate to that is really important to your growth and development. Having gay clubs is good so that like minded people can find each other and be safe from people who might want to hurt them. I think it’s good that an andrologist takes care of only male reproductive organs the same way a gynecologist takes care women’s reproductive organs.

I think that, with proper reasoning, it’s ok, and even good and fantastic, to have exclusive spaces. Not everyone relates to every identity, and not everyone needs to have access to every space.

However, this specifically bothers me because there will not be a men’s equivalent. And there might be several reasons for that. Including the stereotype that men are more likely to do damage to the building and not be as clean, or the idea that it would be more of a party complex. (I’m not arguing if that’s true or not, I’m simply bringing up the normal stereotype, which is a whole problem on its own. But it is a normal perception. Think “bachelors pad” or the stereotypical frat house vs sorority house. That’s not what I’m debating right now, I’m just pointing out that it is an accepted perception.)

I think the issue of exclusive spaces comes down to the “why”. Can you make a justified argument why there should be an exclusive space?

For this space, statistically speaking, women are more likely to be hurt by a man than a man is to be hurt by a woman, even though men’s domestic violence rates are VASTLY under reported. in a lot of cases, even if you double the number that men report it, women still have a higher rate. X Even not counting DV, some women would prefer not to live near men. If she wears a religious covering, for example, like a hijab. People who prefer the company of women because society has messed up standards for men and unfortunately the way men have been socialized to enjoy community is very different to the way women are socialized to enjoy community. Maybe it’s a first apartment or they are going to college and it’s a lot easier to convince mom and dad that they aren’t inviting boys over all the time. Possibly they are a recovering nymphomanic, and don’t want the temptation around. Maybe it’s the perception that men are louder and they want a quiet, relaxed atmosphere at home. Maybe their last apartment has a couple next door that would not stop moaning and screaming and having hot, wild sex all the time and they want to reduce the risk of that in their new place. (I said reduce because queer couples.) Or, instead of hot sex, it was screaming and fighting and you really just want to try not to live next to a couple this time.

All of that being said, I do not think this complex itself is a problem. The problem is that there will not be an equivalent male-centric space. And there SHOULD BE. Because men do experience domestic violence perpetrated by women and have lasting trauma from that. Because all of these moms who are treating their sons as a romantic partner in all ways but sexual, and maybe the son is trying to get out and set boundaries. Because some men don’t want to be around women, and are perfectly happy living the bachelor lifestyle. Because some men don’t want to deal with the neighbor suggestively dropping her lingerie on her way back from the laundry room when it’s been made clear he’s not interested and he just wants to go to bed. Because some men want the safety of knowing that there won’t be a false DV or SA accusation made against them in their apartment complex. Because he’s had a false accusation made against him and wants to avoid it happening again. Because he just doesn’t want to deal with women coming over to his place and judging him for his 3-in-1 soap shampoo and conditioner. Because he’s conventionally attractive and women can’t take no for an answer. Because his high school teacher SAed him, and he hasn’t felt safe around women since. Because he grew up with 3 sisters and he just doesn’t want to deal with that where he lives anymore.

There absolutely should be a male equivalent. I like the women’s one, but it’s not right that it’s not being matched by a men’s complex.

UnIntelligent_Local · 2024-06-13T17:51:47+00:00

If you were to argue that men deal with abusive relationships and that they need resources to escape violent, abusive, or dangerous spouses/partners, I would be on board with you. I have seen friends with exes that show up at their jobs and violate every space imaginable that could be used to escape. That's not fair and there aren't many resources for men trying to escape bad relationships. But, we are not going to get traction for those spaces to become a reality by shitting all over resources that are for women. Women deserve resources. Men deserve resources. We are supposed to be progressives... Not regressives.

Tevorino · 2024-06-13T18:21:35+00:00

It doesn't say anywhere in the article that men will be banned from the building.

At most, it's implied that the units will only be rented to mothers, and 790 Canadian dollars per month for a three-bedroom just outside of frikkin Vancouver is incredibly cheap (I checked the provincial government site for the minimum wage there and it's $17.40 per hour, while the typical monthly rent on three-bedroom in Burnaby is over $3,000). Then again, this is government-subsidised housing to give a helping hand to low-income families, so in that context it could be reasonable.

As long as the government isn't refusing to build similarly subsidised housing to help equally needy men, I see no reason to take issue with this. I also know enough about Canada to know that the government almost certainly does refuse to do anything remotely similar for men, it's just not going to be a publicly stated refusal.

What concerns me more is that offering this incredibly cheap rent to "families fleeing violence" might create a perverse incentive for mothers in low-income, intact familes to fabricate claims of violence in order to get into one of these cheap places. I can't say for certain because I don't know the details of how they operate.

eli_ashe · 2024-06-15T01:14:18+00:00

i appreciate sex specific shelters, for men and women, and can even appreciate the notion of having one for queer folks, though that does start to get odd actually as the notion is to have some distance from one's 'abuser type'.

but permanent housing is just sex discrimination and sexual segregation, which is pretty silly.

testamentfan67 · 2024-06-13T18:55:47+00:00

I can’t wait to see the rent their charging. I’ll give it about year to survive after it’s built.

Bugu4787 · 2024-06-14T09:21:20+00:00

If you vote joe biden you will get joe biden. Republicans don’t give a flying about you, but at least they don’t pretend to. Also most of them are busy pretending they believe in God so they are not politically correct and woke.

simplymoreproficient · 2024-06-13T14:57:34+00:00

I don’t really care about this tbh. (Apart from the fact that everyone would be really mad if this was done for men).

InitiatePenguin · 2024-06-13T20:16:13+00:00

I've heard of women-only shelters, but at least those are not regular housing projects. They are short term. This is LONG TERM. This is just a regular apartment where men aren't allowed.

on affordable housing in Burnaby for moms leaving violence

Seems to be a shelter

POO_IN_A_LOO · 2024-06-13T18:06:28+00:00

The sad fact is that there are more women who need this. It is another sad fact that there are a lot of men who aren't afforded this level of support at all, or a lot lesser level of support either. These shouldn't be mutually exclusive things to strive for.

This shouldn't be a zero sum game between sexes, but rather an example of a thing we should strive to afford men as well. This is funded by a foundation, not by tax payers (as far as I know, I could be wrong), so they should be able to do as they will. The plight of men definitely needs more attention to gain traction, but going against things that generally improve the quality of life for some without taking away from others is not good.

Also, the article doesn't say anything about men not being allowed, just that the housing is for women and families. However, seeing as to how some shelters operate, I wouldn't be all too surprised if they declined families with boys over a certain age.

We should cultivate awareness towards mens' issues and not resentment towards progress of wellbeing of victims regardless of gender, even though it widens the inequality gap between victims. We can point out that men need more support without taking anything away from women, lets be better. Victims need help.

Johntoreno · 2024-06-13T15:55:23+00:00

WTF are these troll comments on this thread, did Feminists just decide to raid this sub?

CENTRELINK_TBOW · 2024-06-14T00:14:36+00:00

Common here in korea

Content_Lychee_2632 · 2024-06-15T14:05:57+00:00

Yeah, that’s going to backfire, fast. Day one, somebody is going to come in from an abusive relationship where THEY were the abuser, and cause problems. Gender isolated spaces are rarely healthy, regardless of what gender they’re for.

LopsidedDatabase8912 · 2024-06-16T20:37:53+00:00

Canada is literally the most evil government to exist in the developed and possible ever. There is vanishingly little that is unjustifiable in the opposition of the Canadian government.

SureDeal4659 · 2025-06-16T13:39:47+00:00

I wish there was a place I can go where there are no men.

Complex-Ad-4640 · 2024-06-14T02:32:25+00:00

We waking up

BeepBlipBlapBloop · 2024-06-13T15:27:38+00:00

I don't have any problem with this.

kuavi · 2024-06-13T15:09:12+00:00

Ehhh this isnt the hill Id die on. Men don't need to access 100% of the spaces in the world, as long as we are given the same grace.

Appropriate_Cash_890 · 2024-06-13T15:31:04+00:00

You guys really do whine about things that help benefit women. Instead of solving men's problems which are largely caused by men themselves, you instead want to dog on anything even remotely helping women.

This is pathetic.

Edit- huh looks like the comments are disagreeing with you after all. Maybe there is hope to this subreddjt.

OkDragonfly4098 · 2024-06-13T15:38:40+00:00

I bet it’s really clean and doesn’t smell like Cheetos

UnIntelligent_Local · 2024-06-13T14:55:20+00:00

I actually think this is a good thing and necessary.

BisexualFangirl · 2024-06-13T15:09:43+00:00

https://www.sexsegregation.org.uk/

You men are so fucking annoying.

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