Describe someone you initially found physically unattractive, who over time became sexually attractive to you. What did he do that made you attracted to him?

cutiebby · 2022-01-24T00:29:54+00:00

My ex boyfriend was fat, had an ugly unkept beard and a bad sense of style but I started liking him physically because he had a sexy voice and vast knowledge about social sciences, literature and philosophy.

Now I find myself somehow attracted to fat men with beards, lol.

siIkie · 2022-01-23T21:23:50+00:00

I never found a man genuinely physically UNATTRACTIVE and then later somehow found him physically attractive.

I have however felt “nothing” or found a man to be neither attractive or unattractive, but after getting to know him better and being able to observe him socially, I then found him physically attractive.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-01-23T22:45:24+00:00

Not unattractive, but just invisible. I'd seen him around but never interacted with him and he'd never caught my eye. I went to a show one night and he was the headline act. Seeing him in action as a musician did it for me and I developed the biggest crush.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2022-01-23T22:30:45+00:00

Alcohol

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-23T21:19:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

That__EST · 2022-01-24T16:08:15+00:00

My first boyfriend in middle school was like this. I thought he was unattractive (he was, and he was SHORT, like shockingly short) in the very beginning but the more he chose me and made me feel like I helped him and that we were a team...he just grew on me and even though we broke up, he is someone who I think about even now.

One thing. My experience dating him really helped me advise future parents of teens on "making rules" in their relationships. If you think a person isn't good enough for your child (no glaring red flags or anything, you just don't think they would be a good fit), keep it to yourself. That kind of a thing will come out in the wash. Telling your kid this and attempting to prevent them from seeing each other is a great way to have your kid take a youthful foolish stance against you. Let it go.

throwawaylessons103 · 2022-01-23T22:15:38+00:00

I met a guy friend through a mutual friend of mine.

When first meeting him, there was 0 attraction. He was very overweight, (and I'm very fit) so I didn't even consider him a sexual option as I'm not attracted to overweight people.

As I got to know him more, I realized we had awesome playful banter, he was sarcastic just like me, didn't put me on a pedestal but also had empathy when I needed it. We had similar mentalities about many things.

Proximity, on top of him starting to work out with me and lose a lot of weight, begun to change my perception of him.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-01-23T21:24:26+00:00

No guy, no matter what he looks is attractive to me on first sight. Some can be unattractive, but the rest are all "neutral" which is most guys. And that's how I saw my boyfriend when we first met. After I got to know him I started becoming more attracted with time, familiarity, and knowing more of his personality. So he did go from "not bangable" to "the only bangable person". And no nothing on his looks bother me at all

cravenravens · 2022-01-24T11:17:31+00:00

This was almost all of my relationships.

The first, I don't remember what he did. I was 14 when I started to think he was attractive (only got into a relationship with him when I was 19). He just wasn't on my radar, until he was.

Second one was a relationship that started online. Took a while before I found him attractive IRL as well. I had to merge his online persona with his offline persona, I think.

Third one was a bit cliché: I saw him on a stage. He sounded very intelligent.

Fourth one, he was adorably nervous for an exam, and very upfront about it. That was attractive.

That's just relationships, there were also many crushes. Mostly because people turned out to be (extraordinarily) intelligent and kind.

Edit: often it creeps up on me. From 'oh, yeah, that random guy' to 'yes he's nice' to 'he's great, very witty' to 'actually he's pretty cute'.

Swans-r-cunts · 2022-01-24T16:09:09+00:00

It's interesting seeing this question because I recently saw a photo of my first boyfriend when he was..25/26 and I could tell he looked absolutely gorgeous.

Tall with a fairly classically good looking face (aside from his sticky put ears which didn't bother me and the hair covered them).

I got the 'ick" with him after maybe..five years of dating? He was extremely stressful to live and have a relationship with. Throughout the years he would shout at me a lot, express jealousy, hated going out and having fun etc.

I remember not wanting to kiss/fuck him anymore and wondering why I felt like that? I think my unconscious resentment acted like a barrier and I was just unwilling to deal with it at the times. Shame.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-24T20:36:46+00:00

It's never gone from being unattractive to attractive, just "nothing" to unattractive. If you genuinely repulse me the first time I see you, I don't think anything can bring you back from that.

Glittering_King_4297 · 2022-01-23T22:33:14+00:00

if a man is extremely ugly or disfigured there will be a point where no personality trait will make him attractive. Please elaborate on how ugly this man is for a correct answer

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-01-23T21:36:33+00:00

I don't think it's attractive - - > bangable

I describe things as a looks threshold, but I've seen the traffic light system as well.

Basically if you reach her attractiveness threshold, personality makes you more attractive. So of a woman's threshold is say 6/10. You're a 6. Your personality/vibe makes you more sexually attractive than a 8 or 9.

If you're a 4 then your personality and vibe won't make you bangable.

With traffic light analogy, if you are in Amber, Your personality makes you a green. If you're a red.... You're a red.

tiposk · 2022-01-23T21:24:28+00:00

I don't remember this ever happening. Even if a guy isn't objectively attractive in the physical sense, sexual attraction kicks in pretty fast, but that also means that whatever 'flaw' he's got isn't a turn off.

If his looks turn me off I can't feel attraction for him at all.

AmandaPea · 2022-01-23T22:16:33+00:00

BIG BIG YES.
Personality matters a lot to women.

houstongradengineer · 2022-01-23T22:32:03+00:00

I was 12. Guy was an underdeveloped boy with crooked teeth, shaggy hair, and cargo pants. He didn't stay that way forever. At 14, he started wearing skinny jeans and new shirts. He conditioned his hair. He made me laugh. Oh he was a douchebag 100%, but he was smart. Now that I'm older, some of his previously repulsive ideas have become even clear to me. Whatever "it" is, he definitely had that "je ne sais quoi" or charisma. While he isn't compatible with me in the least, I used to feel attraction for him after he started practicing hygiene/fashion and I got to hear him speak more. I can definitely see the appeal.

BeeRoyalty · 2022-01-24T00:26:28+00:00

In high school I came to love a boy I wasn’t initially attracted to for a few reasons. First, he had his own apartment which was a novelty. Then he had money to court me. For those two reasons I began to spent more time with him and noticed he was the leader of his friend group. He came up with activities and led discussions and was the ring-leader. He played guitar. He paid a lot of attention to me. When I moved in he paid for everything. He always made sure I came when we had sex. He could hold a conversation. He had a lot of street smarts. I always felt safe with him when we travelled.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-01-23T21:21:35+00:00

I have never considered someone "bangable" on meeting them. I'm going to thinking about sex after becoming emotionally close provided they pass my attractiveness floor (like 90%+ of men would pass it) and have certain personality traits I find attractive (harder to pass).

rosephase · 2022-01-23T21:34:09+00:00

I've met guys that are my "across the room type" and had the thought "Oh maybe I will like him" and then found him to be condescending. Nothing turns me off faster then a dude talking down to me. Other things that make a dude not attractive to me despite his looks? Treating other people around him badly and/or being racist or homophobic or transphobic. I just can't be attracted to dudes I think are jerks.

saint-jezebel · 2022-01-24T00:13:03+00:00

No one. Women know in the first 5-10s and no amount of talking and coercing has ever changed that for me. Attraction is also in the eye of the beholder and sometimes the beholder sees things that are literally a downright no. Last, if a guy is not attracted to me, I couldn’t talk my way into his pants, so why would I allow the same?

totential_rigger · 2022-01-24T00:36:40+00:00

This has happened to me a lot but I'm finding it hard to describe exactly what the guy did. It's usually just having good "banter" and chemistry with them which starts to change how I physically perceive them.

I don't necessarily think chemistry can be forced or trained. You either have it with someone or you don't; and you both know if you have it. It's like an unspoken vibe.

NarniaFox · 2022-01-24T06:41:34+00:00

I'm demi, I've never got attracted to someone instantly, it always grows over time.

It's the combination of attractive smell and personality. If I like them, if I find them interesting, I enjoy spending time with them and I'm into the way they smell, chances are high that I'll fall for them eventually. All people I've got interested in were kind, good at self-reflection, well-read, passionate about their work/hobby/study.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2022-01-23T21:33:25+00:00

He was funny, socially dominant, the life of the party, and very kind to me. He noticed small things about me. He made sure I was eating well when I was sick. He had a girlfriend but from that point on I had a crush on him

Kay_Lore · 2022-01-23T21:55:15+00:00

I used to work with a guy who I thought was ugly on first sight. After I got to know his personality I quickly became more and more attracted to him. He was sociable, charismatic, funny, and able to have interesting conversations beyond surface level. We also had a lot of similar interests and I feel that our personalities blended well.

I ended up having sexual dreams about him and looked forward to seeing him at work. We only worked together for a couple of months and nothing ever happened since I wasn’t single and I’m not sure if he was ever attracted to me anyway.

Mosagun · 2022-01-23T22:57:25+00:00

I wouldn’t say he “did” anything, I just got to know him better and had more one-on-one time with him. But we discussed a common interest and I was touched that he was actually curious about something other people didn’t really get or care about when I talked about it.

And it helps to get physically closer too— once I sat near him, made prolonged eye contact, and had a better view of his body, he seemed way hotter. And I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the absence of his glasses coincided with me noticing his sexual attractiveness more acutely.

RRBeachFG2 · 2022-01-24T03:45:27+00:00

I’m this post girls want to be treated like guys and don’t see guys until they demonstrate their wealth and humor. The rich jester, here to please in every facet.

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-24T23:07:48+00:00

I’m generally not attracted to bald guys because my ex was bald but there is a bald bartender at my work who is so hot to me. He’s sweet and fit.

AutoModerator · 2022-01-23T21:10:43+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Describe someone you initially found physically unattractive, who over time became sexually attractive to you. What did he do that made you attracted to him?
Author	schoolpolicestation
Upvotes	14
Comments	74
Date	January 23, 2022 9:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sb3zj5/describe_someone_you_initially_found_physically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/describe-someone-you-initially-found-physically.1097938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097938

Comments