Do women believe TRP ideas of 'women can only love men for what they provide'?

ashpr0ulx · 2021-12-31T12:02:16+00:00

i don’t believe women can only love men for what they provide.

if we’re speaking of providing in a purely financial sense, yes, there are some women whose love is conditional to varying degrees on a man’s ability to provide. but there are enough house husbands, stay at home dads, and female breadwinners that financial gain is clearly not the only motivation for love.

i think most people fall into a middle ground- they want a partner who contributes to the relationship somehow and is a productive member of society, but there’s still romantic love, natural attraction, and an intimate connection that transcends just the ability to provide.

Arongelion · 2021-12-31T11:44:02+00:00

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LittyKitsune · 2021-12-31T13:15:28+00:00

Love- an abstract idea, a feeling, not easily defined

"what they provide" - an incredibly vague, empty term that can serve as a stand-in for any contribution to the family/society a man feels he deserves credit/appreciation for

"who they are"- a similarly vague, empty term to serve for any inherent value a man sees in a woman that (in his view) she has done nothing to earn

Break it down like that, and you quickly realize why that term holds absolutely no meaning. You can define the conditions of each part however the fuck you want. That is how you get shit like an RP guy claiming that he loves his wife unconditionally while also saying he'd divorce her if she stopped putting out.

And I cannot believe or disbelieve a statement that means literally nothing.

kittenated · 2021-12-31T13:41:05+00:00

It's one of the bleakest, saddest RP beliefs. Sure there are golddiggers in the world, but so too are there men who want to use women for sex. But that doesn't mean that there aren't good women and good men out there in the world who are absolutely capable of sincerely loving another human being and putting someone else's needs before their own. It's sad that many RP men don't seem to believe this, and it makes me wonder what they've been through in their life that made them draw this conclusion about the opposite sex, or what their family home and upbringing were like. It's part of the narrative that encourages men to not believe women are capable of love, just about what a man can provide for her.

funlightmandarin · 2021-12-31T11:54:19+00:00

I think it's too much of a flat statement to bear any weight. Perhaps women are more reluctant with their 'love' because they bear the brunt of child rearing, they know there'll be more people involved than the couple itself in the future and they have a responsibility to give these future children the best starting point they can.

Which means falling in love with the jobless nomad isn't the best idea, though perhaps romantic "come what may".

I don't believe in soul mates per se. Love very seldom is enough. The relationship shouldn't be "hard", but it's not easy either. A relationship is give and take, full of compromises and some work.

So I think it's best to bet on the relationship that'll not have the conflict of fighting over money and such.

Maybe you think it translates to loving men for what they provide, but I disagree with that. Love is hard even when the starting point is perfect, and it's especially risky when children are gonna be involved. It makes sense to give it the best possible starting point when innocent third party bystanders are involved.

Siukslinis_acc · 2021-12-31T11:56:56+00:00

Would companionship count as "providing"?

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-12-31T12:19:04+00:00

I always laugh at this red pill claim that men love from a romantic pov while also advocating for men to treat women like plates, never get emotionally attached, never commit, and make sure she knows she can be replaced if she doesn’t submit but using manipulation tactics like dread.

So romantic, am I right ladies?

So to an answer your question, no, I don’t believe what TRP says about that at all. You are right that it generalizes all women. Also, I don’t think that all men want to treat women the way TRP suggests, and they certainly don’t see that as romantic love lol.

I also think both men and women love conditionally, and won’t to stick around if their partners turn into something that makes it hard to stick around.

We all choose partners based on something that benefits us, men are no different. There’s nothing wrong with that either it’s just how it always has been. We don’t choose someone who has nothing that we want from them. If that was the case, we would date anyone, and we don’t.

JoanGreenCat · 2021-12-31T13:41:14+00:00

TRP is just men mansplaining to other men how women feel. Of course it's mostly wrong. Women do love men for romantic reasons. If a woman is with a guy only for what he is providing that's not love. That's just private prostitution.

Barneysparky · 2021-12-31T12:09:08+00:00

That statement is spoken by men who believe the only reason men seek out relationships is for sex.

It is pure projection. If all you want is access to a vagina no doubt you will come to believe that others have similar thought patterns.

goatismycopilot · 2021-12-31T13:25:13+00:00

Most TRP men and PPD men don't even like women. So if you agree men love women from a romantic POV then it is out of a sense of possessing a favourite item or the paternalistic care for a child which is what TRP men think women are to begin with.

No_Mathematician8341 · 2021-12-31T13:51:10+00:00

aight it may not be absolute but youre talking about a majority. Women who will love you no matter what sick broke going through difficulties, thats very rare but they do exist. Just not a large percentage imho

PopularBug5 · 2021-12-31T15:19:05+00:00

Let me answer this as a man:

Most men use money to attract women for marriage even though they always say they want women to marry them for love. Hence they tend to attract the wrong kind of women - women who also are very cunning at pretending they love the men they are about to marry just to secure money. Hence when things go south financially and these women so typically break the marriage - men then come to a conclusion that women can only indeed love men for what they provide.

No, there is no truth to this statement. Men are very poor selectors of mates. Women with a capacity for love are out there, but men do not notice them, not when their typical mode of finding partners involve using OLD or going to the bar, and vetting primarily by looks or youth.

After all it's always easier to blame external factors than to blame yourself.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-12-31T13:01:15+00:00

I believe that the majority of men and women love people from the romantic perspective. That much is fairly obvious to me, although I understand there are exceptions, which I personally wouldn't even categorise as love.

CimZim · 2021-12-31T12:09:55+00:00

Every man and woman in a relationship love each other for what they provide. All relationships are transitional, whether friendship, work, romantic, committed, casual, etc.

What TRP usually means is women love men for materialistic reasons and men love women for idealistic reasons. Sometimes this is true, sometimes it is not. I know that I don't love my FWB for materialistic reasons because there literally are none from him lol. I love him as my friend and sex partner. Lots of other women also love their guy for reasons other than assets or finances.

Of course, there definitely are women who only love based on what their man gives her. You only have to open your eyes and look around to see it.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-31T13:32:34+00:00

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Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-12-31T16:09:46+00:00

No, I get no provisions from any of my relationships. That would feel gross to me. I love with my whole heart, in a genuine and selfless fashion. Doesn't everyone who isn't a narcissist?

Successful_Buffalo_6 · 2021-12-31T16:42:29+00:00

I do think that men and women “perform”love differently because of gender conventions. BUT I also think that men AND women tend to fall in love for what their counterpart provides them, whether that’s good feelings (arousal, happiness, pride, excitement) good company, a good environment—or a combination of all of the above.

FairInvestigator · 2021-12-31T16:57:42+00:00

It goes both ways regardless of gender that attraction towards a potential partner is based on perceived willingness and capacity of them to enable one to achieve their goals.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1088868313501887

We describe a model for understanding interpersonal attraction in which attraction can be understood as a product of the initial evaluations we make about others. The model posits that targets are evaluated on two basic dimensions, capacity and willingness, such that affective and behavioral attraction result from evaluations of (a) a target’s capacity to facilitate the perceiver’s goals/needs and (b) a target’s potential willingness to facilitate those goals/needs. The plausibility of the two-dimensional model of attraction is evaluated vis-à-vis the extant literature on various attraction phenomena including the reciprocity of liking effect, pratfall effect, matching hypothesis, arousal effects, and similarity effect. We conclude that considerable evidence across a wide range of phenomena supports the idea that interpersonal attraction is principally determined by inferences about the target’s capacity and willingness.

houstongradengineer · 2021-12-31T12:58:53+00:00

People usually make a life with people who are similar to themselves in a way. Men form relationships with women who can blend in with their life. Just because some men are too egotistical to admit that all feminine contributions ARE PROVIDING something doesn't make it untrue. Women provide nurturing, comfort, children, and sexual effort. Hell, I provide the majority of the income in my household and a very specific set of chores that my husband insists on. And yes, what he provides matters to me, too.

That's not to say that we can't have degrees of compassion for the handicapped and the young. Charity is a thing. Charity is a form of love. Some people are far more charitable than others. Charity, or even friendship/friendly affection, is NOT the same as forming a relationship or a life with someone. When becoming a team, things usually last longer and work better when everybody has a common goal and a plan to get there together. Some people are willing to forgive/give chances far more than others, but I think most people have expectations of similar effort when it comes to relationship love. Even in friendships, people expect a little give and take on the communication/support/whatever.

Weekly-End-2897 · 2021-12-31T13:37:18+00:00

No lol it is as ridiculous as it sounds

Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-12-31T14:40:19+00:00

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ruboyuri · 2021-12-31T14:56:21+00:00

Right. Because men love romance, gooshy feelings, gifts, weddings, love stories, rom coms, and other relationship crap and don’t care about animal lust. Sure

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-31T15:17:41+00:00

I mostly laugh at the notion that TRP men in particular are somehow more loving. They think wanting to fuck someone means they love them. It's pathetic.

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wonka__vision · 2021-12-31T14:17:38+00:00

One thing is certain… A man who can provide is much easier to love.

CrazyBaby8891 · 2021-12-31T14:17:45+00:00

i don't believe in this theory, i think its too absolute and trying to generalize 8 billion people is never the smart play.

^This. Only certain types of women (gold-diggers, etc.) are like that.

mmmaja_s · 2021-12-31T15:35:07+00:00

men love women from a romantic POV and someone they can see a future with and women love men for what they provide, whether its appearance or assets

This statement is so vague anyone can interpret however they like.

What does romantic POV even mean? Do men just want a nice girl to grow old with and women are all gold diggers? Does "what men provide" include only material things?

heroinchicc · 2021-12-31T16:34:29+00:00

I don’t agree. Looking back at my ex-boyfriend I don’t know what he provided me with during our relationship. He was from poor family (whereas I come from wealthy background) so I nearly always paid for us, he was good-looking but on the same level as me, we didn’t have sex because we were too young then, so he didn’t provide me sexually. Only thing he could “provide me” was his character/emotional support, but those things are totally different than what the thesis is implying. By the way, this thesis that “men love from romantic POV” is so funny to me. Yeah, because you guys are known for liking romantic shit like picnics, stargazing, eating dinner and fucking by candlelight 🤣

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-31T11:47:17+00:00

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JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-31T14:33:15+00:00

Yes, it is true as long as being a provider is all you bring to the table.

sendcopes · 2021-12-31T15:25:57+00:00

if by ‘provide’ then you include money/wealth, status, tingles, support, protection, etc. then yeah id say so. i would not be interested in a male who couldnt provide me these things.

Reulorics · 2021-12-31T17:49:52+00:00

If you're counting appearance under "providing" then maybe but we (men) care about appearance a lot. But definitely not "only". Whatever the case, I don't think there's a whole lot of difference between two sexes here.

KikiYuyu · 2021-12-31T22:14:17+00:00

It's bullshit. They are exactly the same as men-hating super feminists who believe all men are predatory and evil.

Bekiala · 2021-12-31T22:25:06+00:00

Well not me. Women are a diverse group. Just as diverse as men. There are no doubt women like this although I probably wouldn't call it love.

SaBahRub · 2021-12-31T23:53:10+00:00

Nope

luliloo · 2022-01-01T06:43:18+00:00

What a man provides is pretty important to me so yes I agree.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-12-31T12:52:59+00:00

Women divide men into Chads and betas. And women can't love betas.

The idea that men can be "loved for what they provide" is a pretty lie. Men who provide are usually losers.

Title	Do women believe TRP ideas of 'women can only love men for what they provide'?
Author	places0
Upvotes	19
Comments	89
Date	December 31, 2021 11:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rss452/do_women_believe_trp_ideas_of_women_can_only_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-believe-trp-ideas-of-women-can-only-love.1089783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089783

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