girls nights outs?

neetykeeno · 2022-07-31T19:43:53+00:00

Well that rather depends on the particular people involved doesn't it? Very social people tend to be into it more.

It is acceptable if the members of the couple both accept it. It is unacceptable if they don't.

This sort of thing is why people who don't want to make huge lifestyle compromise have to actually search for a suitable choice of spouse...a very social person is unlikely to be happy spending every night at home knitting or playing computer games just because their spouse is on a three month work related assignment in another city and a very unsocial person is unlikely to be happy dealing with the thought their spouse has thousands of casual social interactions they aren't part of.

Now personally I am of the stay home together because nightclubs are ugh style of person but that doesn't mean I think there is anything wrong with people who like to chat and flirt and dance. The male of that type just isn't for me though. He needs to be with a woman of his type. They will understand and enjoy each other. They will tell each other stories of what happened at the pub when the other one couldn't be there, what the band was like, the new people they met and be very happy together.

Barneysparky · 2022-07-31T19:34:37+00:00

On one hand, the pills say women are the greatest slut shamers of women. On the other hand the pills say women encourage each other to cheat.

I've been on girls nights out countless times. Occasionally the coupled women will "wingmen" for a single woman, but normally girls nights out are ladies only. The few times I've seen women step away from that, they haven't been invited out again or they've had to be intervened on (had way too much to drink).

The guys here also complain about not being able to pick up gals in clubs because they are on a pack, so there is that too.

Are there friends groups that don't fit that mould? Of course, not a lot though.

cruciod · 2022-07-31T19:44:24+00:00

Personally I don't interact with guys during girl's night out but I've seen my female friends in a relationship flirt with guys during these so I can understand the general male wariness towards it.

I don't think it's okay and while it's not necessarily cheating, I think it's still unfaithful to flirt with other guys and dance on them. If it's already been discussed as something that's okay within a couple though then that's a separate case and not really an issue.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-07-31T23:27:28+00:00

In my family "girls night out" for married women looks like going to a very nice restaurant with female relatives, maybe some alcohol, and being home by midnight. I don't drink so I'll just be there for the food I guess.

poppy_blu · 2022-07-31T23:34:39+00:00

It depends on the 2 people and what they agree on.

Mr Blu and I have always been social people. sometimes we go out separately with the girls/boys, sometimes we go out in large groups of friends, sometimes we go out with other couples.

I don’t see going to bar or club w/o your SO as any different than any other type of social activity. I never let a dude buy me drinks or dance with me.

Actually going to a bar or club when you have a man feels great. It’s like, thank god I don’t have to deal with that screening/game playing shit anymore.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-07-31T19:49:39+00:00

Going out with friends, having drinks, and maybe dancing, sure. You should be able to socialize without your partner tracking your every moment. Flirting and such is a little more risqué and I imagine that would be between the couple to determine their boundaries.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-31T19:10:09+00:00

Depends on the kind of people you hang out with. I've never seen it. Cheating is unacceptable.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-07-31T21:06:29+00:00

I wing man and hype up my single friends on girls nights out. But otherwise not really. We just dance on the dance floor on our own.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-07-31T20:17:11+00:00

I didnt do that when I was single so wont do it if I have a man.

My girls night out nowadays is we help each other with home projects, cook food, do crafts, trivia night or do happy hour. We are 'boring'. LOL

toasterchild · 2022-07-31T19:55:51+00:00

I've never had any friends in relationships interact with other men during a "girls night out". Actually I only remember one instance where a single friend was interacting with men on a GNO... it's time for the girls.

thesmelliestfart · 2022-07-31T19:26:36+00:00

Not a big deal till the man goes and buys another girl drinks then it’s flirting😌

New_Presentation_876 · 2022-07-31T19:38:22+00:00

The going out part doesn’t seem to be a problem but acting flirtatious/being intentionally sexually provocative to other men seems to be disrespectful not only to the other partner but to the relationship. I know relationships vary with their boundaries but the relationships I saw with the most drama and bitterness at the end were the ones that “turned their other cheek” to many grey areas like this. Usually it’s the “cool girl” trying to be okay with her spouse flirting and treading thin lines with other women but I don’t believe men should have to suck it up and deal with this either.

I don’t do this in a relationship. I’m not fond of the bar/party scene in general and my friend group isn’t into that either and also believes flirting and acting provocatively with other men is disrespectful to the other person and relationship.

feminologie_ · 2022-07-31T23:19:56+00:00

I would never do such a thing while in a relationship. It's disrespectful and trashy. If it's wrong for a man to go out with his buddies and flirt with strangers, then it's just as wrong for women to do it too. I don't believe in double standards. Any standard I have for a man, I also have for myself.

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-31T19:03:01+00:00

Heavily depends on a social circle and what a couple finds acceptable. Some are okay with flirting, but I'd guess the most aren't.

Personally I've never done it. I've been in a bar a few times, but with my friends and husband and the only time I've tried to go in a night club, they didn't let me in, because I looked like a minor. It was embarrassing and I've never tried again. I don't entertain men flirting with me, I'm not comfortable with it and I know my husband wouldn't want me to. My friends and I usually go to a café/restaurant and men rarely approach there.

wtknight · 2022-07-31T19:27:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

New_Relative_8709 · 2022-08-01T00:36:30+00:00

Always, your girlfriend is probably doing it right now!!

Gosh this subreddit is a joke…

Stop_Maximum · 2022-07-31T19:09:26+00:00

Depends on the couple. Someone paying for drinks doesn’t mean they’re flirting necessarily. Although I wouldn’t feel comfortable with something like that happening while in a relationship.

RightNowImReady · 2022-08-01T08:41:02+00:00

Anecdote here.

A friends GF was out for a "girls night out" when we were hanging out just us the boys, she comes home pretty drunk and starts talking to my boy. Tell him that this "guy" wanted to buy her and her friends drinks but they never spoke to him and it was so weird, I guess indicating to him in a subtle way that she had admirers/options and wanted him to step it up or something.

Anyway as she is talking about it she mentions the guys name, which my friend catches and asks her "You said you didn't speak to him, how did you know his name?" she got all flustered but quickly blurted out "Because he has the same name as X bartender" which obviously doesn't explain at all why she would know his name just that they have the same name. To my tired(It was like 3AM) and drunken friend it made sense I guess and I didn't want to stir things up even though in hindsight it would have been hilarious watching her make shit up. She also had that look on her face when she asked her, you know the one where you are caught in a lie and a 1000 thoughts go through your head trying to escape it.

I don't think she cheated on him but she obviously had more interaction with the guy than she let on to my friend, If I was in his situation I wouldn't be able to trust her after that.

gofigure62 · 2022-08-01T14:06:30+00:00

Depends on the woman.

The only friends I've seen do this, have always been in quasi monogamish relationships where their boyfriend is always cheating on them and they're always breaking up and getting back together.

Also, the married friends heavily in denial about their failed marriage, who want to feel a "spark" again and see if anyone is still sexually attracted to them.

Otherwise, girls night out is just dancing with each other, drinking, and catching up. Regardless if someone is single and in a relationship. Generally it's pretty rude to actively seek male attention on a designated "girl night" as the main purpose is to bond and hang out. It's not the same as a general night out IMO since it doesn't happen often.

Holiday-Reach-8948 · 2022-08-01T16:40:37+00:00

My now husband and I decided very early on that girls night/guys night out at bars/clubs was not a great idea. People often make mistakes when drinking or otherwise under the influence. I’m glad we did that - absolutely no regrets! And now, we’ve been together 23 years.

Oli_love90 · 2022-08-01T17:15:23+00:00

During girls nights out, guys don’t buy me drinks and flirt. Me and the girls just hang out, laugh, catch up and drink together.

I think the Hollywood idea that women are consistently hit on at bars and having free drinks thrown in your direction makes people think it’s incredibly common.

urbangoth · 2022-07-31T19:40:44+00:00

I've never done a girls night out because I'm not a fan of groups or going out much. Most things I do are solo and task/hobby orientated.

I have suggested to my partner that we go to the gay bars and see who can get more drinks purchased for them, like as a game, but he doesn't want to lol. Probably because he'd end up way more plastered than me.

gammaJinx · 2022-08-01T08:42:43+00:00

If a girl constantly goes for girls nights. Recreational use only. That’s an environment dangerous for long term relationships. Why can’t a girls night be to a spa or something. Instead it’s a place where guys go to get drunk and hit on girls. Please men these girls are not suitable for a relationship

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HeartCatchHana · 2022-07-31T23:27:23+00:00

I've never had a girls' night out and I don't flirt.

abagus101 · 2022-08-01T00:00:27+00:00

My wife and I have had a rule since the beginning of our relationship that we don't go to bars without each other just as a matter of mutual respect. We haven't been to a bar in probably 3+ years anyway, drinking is lame.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-08-01T10:10:45+00:00

I used to once a month but slowly going out became staying in.

If I’m in a relationship then I’m not flirting etc. Though my husband often says I should for free drinks lol.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2022-08-01T13:28:47+00:00

I go out to pubs with my friends pretty often w but I don't flirt with men and don't dance with them.

Usually when a guy tries to flirt with me I ignore him or make fun of him with my friends if he doesn't leave me alone.

yamb97 · 2022-08-01T13:55:19+00:00

Personally I’ve never had a “girls night out” my friend groups are mixed guys and gals, we have lots of nights out. SO’s always invited if they want. We all drink flirt and dance with strangers, we also usually frequent the gay bars so there’s plenty of love to go around ❤️ once my SO was not able to attend but I still snagged a cutie girl and brought her home for us. We do not generally worry about each other “flirting” with others, as he likes to say I could flirt with air.

2022-08-02T00:35:14+00:00

We normally get drunk/high, talk to strangers in the smoking area and do lots of dancing.

Then I stumble home and wake my boyfriend up and occasionally try to bang him.

kunnizaro · 2022-08-02T02:37:37+00:00

Such kind of women are big NO-NO for me.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-08-03T10:45:54+00:00

Most girls nights out don't include the cheating. Flirting, dancing provocatively with guys and stuff like that are absolute dealbreakers and very disrespectful to your partner.

I don't know why people on Reddit, especially men, equate drinking, clubbing and partying with cheating.

boo1881 · 2023-01-15T20:25:46+00:00

I had an old girlfriend that went out on a girl's night out and when she got back to my place wanted to have sex. After we finished up I went into the bathroom to clean up. It took me about a half a second to figure out why I smelled the used condom smell. We don't use condoms. My junk definitely smelled like we did. At least she used one.

sabiinvesting · 2022-08-01T02:41:01+00:00

Bars with nice views, absolutely. I enjoy getting a couple drinks. I even go with my mom. I don’t drink enough to get drunk though. I’ve never been to a club, and none of my friends are really club people, so I have no idea about clubs.

Entertaining flirting or dancing with them is not normal. I feel uncomfortable letting anyone buy me anything unless I’m on a date, and it is a coffee.

Title	girls nights outs?
Author	CanOfWoody
Upvotes	17
Comments	160
Date	July 31, 2022 6:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wcvxmt/girls_nights_outs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/girls-nights-outs.1125744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125744

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