Guys seem obsessed with getting cheated on or being the ones who women cheat with

TotalTravesty · 2022-08-25T21:12:22+00:00

There’s a particular brand of insecure egotism that tells a certain kind of guy that he’s not good enough to be loyal to but the desire to “win” at dating is so strong he still aims to be the guy other women cheat with. It makes them obsess over being Chad but despair if they fall even short of perfection.

That said I’ve seen women plenty emotional about being cheated on. There’s nothing gendered about that. Being cheated on sucks no matter who you are.

doshkhaleesi · 2022-08-25T20:48:48+00:00

Why do women not brag? Female social matrix for one. You don't want to be *that* woman whose friends shun her because she can't be trusted with their husbands/boyfriends. You have also broken "the rules" of sisterhood and stabbed another woman in the back.

Also, being the mistress may sound hot but you are being put in second place automatically (or third if there are kids)...most women want to be first. Unless a guy leaves his wife for her (which would trigger the whole female social matrix anyway, even if it's a great deal of validation for "winning" and being so desirable a guy blew up his life for her), she's second place.

I assume the disparity is because it's hard to get a woman to sleep with you and even harder to convince a taken one to sleep with you, so men feel proud. Also, a side helping of masculinity maybe feeling like you took a man's woman away from him? I dunno. Men can ring in on this.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2022-08-25T22:34:37+00:00

Women do brag it's just taboo to discuss that stuff publicly. They'll definitely tell their besties behind closed doors.

upalse · 2022-08-25T20:21:15+00:00

Yes, men are far more possessive of woman's body. Woman is more possessive of his mind (emotional investment). This may seem bizarre at first, but consider how it fits into imperative of each.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-08-25T20:31:41+00:00

Insecure dudes have this little voice in their head going “but what if you aren’t good enough” And they hear it in their head all the time. So they are so afraid. So much that even if they get a girl “what if I’m not good enough?!”

Its probably exhausting as hell.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-08-25T20:27:56+00:00

this is all just very general speaking, and only my experience. but most men i know who were cheated on it felt very out of the blue, whereas the woman were not really surprised. i was hurt when i got cheated on, but not really shocked.

Leather-Creme2611 · 2022-08-25T21:02:01+00:00

I see it all the time on ppd where guys will say they got cheated on and all the guys they know got cheated on (I just cringe cuz it sounds like an exaggeration).

Mostly faxx, sadly. It do often be like that.

Best bro is gigachad-like, and I'm tyrone-like

Happen to us, and all of our bros, regardless status/money/looks...

It doesn't matter.

My one bro, ultra gigachad mf, had it happen while at a slightly low point.

thats what's cringe tbh*

So basically it can happen to anyone.

Stay safe, bros.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-08-25T20:35:41+00:00

This question is so simple I don’t understand why you would ask this.

Women have wombs. Women are the selectors. Women cheating on man equals inconsistent passing of genes, mate guarding genes pass on in evolution.

Man helping women cheat, man is selected over current partner of women, the already selector of mating, man get huge ego boost as “big strong selected man”

Women want man commitment, she help man cheat, she get no commitment. She feel neutral about it. Women get cheated on, genetic passing still hers, she just find new man, no big deal.

Capable-Resolve-2001 · 2022-08-26T03:06:34+00:00

There’s evidence that women are better at hiding their affairs. This makes sense, since the consequences of getting caught have historically been more severe for women than for men.

So, when a man cheats, the woman finds out pretty quickly and probably saw it coming a mile a way. When a woman’s infidelity is discovered, the man is usually clueless up to that point.

Also, I’ve read than men tend to cheat in spurts with random women, while women tend to have long, drawn out affairs. Men cheat opportunistically while women cheat strategically.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-08-26T02:34:14+00:00

First of all, women know when they talk about being cheated on through platforms like Tiktok or Reddit, they know that a bunch of other women and white knights will come and give all kinds of support for her and tell her to be strong and she looks good and all that stuff. Men hardly ever get that kind of support. And based on the OP, men seemed to be obsessed with it, as if they are not supposed to vent like women do.

As for the men who are the ones that women cheat with, its sort of an accomplishment of power. Its a good power boast when you tell your friends, "I'm fucking this guys wife while hes out of town" or something to that nature. They know women will go that extra mile for the guy shes cheating with. They know they are the ones women will do the most outlandish sexual acts with but she won't do with her SO. If you read the posts on r/survivinginfidelity quite a few of them are from men saying their SO did things with the men they cheat with that they never do with the men they are with.

In the end, all it comes down to is that the men who werw cheated on felt like they weren't good enough or attractive enough for his woman to fuck someone else, and the men that women cheat with are the ones who are way better. More than likely she cheats with a much better man than the one she has. I doubt that a woman who is married to a Chad-type man will cheat on him with an ugly dude.

As for the women who become the other woman. The reason why they don't go on social media and brag about it is because they know it doesn't look good for them. Except for a lot of them being unaware they are the other woman, they are usually secretive about what they know they are doing. She could be setting him up for a disaster, who knows. She won't go brag about it because she will get shitted on being called a "slut" or what not. Therefore she knows its in her best interest to keep quiet.

ToHelp3897 · 2022-08-26T03:13:15+00:00

It's also very common for guys to say they've slept with a lot of taken women and they seem almost proud of it. What is up with this?

Disguisting. Fuck any dude that's proud of cheating.

Duriel1000 · 2022-08-25T22:17:31+00:00

Women cheat more than men. And women are better at cheating.

fizeekfriday · 2022-08-25T22:21:32+00:00

Cause I've been in the position of the guy that the girls cheat with (even if it is just sexting and nudes) and it's infinitely more fun and satisfying than being the guy that sits there and listens to them complain about their problems 24/7 and claim to never be in the mood or always tired.

I don't doubt there are some loyal girls out there but I was actually disgusted after my nut with the behavior of some of these "taken" women. Like if I was in your boyfriend's place, I'd actually feel physically sick.

ParfaitMore5258 · 2022-08-25T20:42:36+00:00

Because there is no skill in having sex with a man. When women brag about having lots of sex? It's like "okay? Is that an accomplishment?

When a guy does it? This guy has a skill set

sarkington · 2022-08-25T20:59:23+00:00

Yeah. That’s because they care about sex more, obviously

FlyV89 · 2022-08-26T01:00:34+00:00

Simple, dudes have a really high libido and girls know this. I mean, it's been a well known fact since the dawn of humanity that men can fuck anything that ressembles a human being, hell, some bros fuck goats if there are no women around.

So when a woman in a relationship choses for whatever reasson go for an entire month without touching her man, she knows the only chance to not get cucked is for her man to become completely invisible, otherwise he's going to stray with the first woman he has a chance with.

I mean... Lots of dudes would still stray with a rando even if they got sex from their partners just half an hour before. Lots of cheating assholes actually have a good sexual life with a nice and good looking woman at home actually... And they still go home and have sex with their wives/girlfriends.

For most men (me included) there isn't something as "enough sex". And all women understand this, at some level.

On the other hand, when a woman cheats us men just wonder "why the hell she couldn't give me a single head for an entire year yet she was willingly doing it for a random dude?".

It's not like this ALL the time, in ALL cases, but it's the most common case.

Funny story, I used to know a guy who created on her fiancee because, acording to him, they were in a year long deadbedroom. He got buthurt when he found out his fiancee was cheating on him with a neighbour haha.

Necessary_Warthog122 · 2022-08-25T20:36:58+00:00

And your stance is “get over it, it’s no big deal” I find that hard to believe.

SylvestorTalone · 2022-08-25T21:11:10+00:00

Paternity.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-08-25T21:50:08+00:00

(I just cringe cuz it sounds like an exaggeration)

Why ? Do you think women are innocent little angels who would never do something awful like that? Here's the flipside of the "treat women like humans" coin: women do human things like cheat, women get bored, women get super horny, women are (sometimes) perverts, women use sex to feel validated, etc.

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-08-25T23:58:47+00:00

I think it's a lack of loyalty. Men in general want loyalty from their partners.

Cobra_x30 · 2022-08-26T00:57:42+00:00

We are competitive. That's just how it is.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2022-08-26T01:47:06+00:00

Some say it's instinctual. Paternity fraud is every male animal's biggest fear.

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Lovers691 · 2022-08-25T20:50:27+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHlFFU-yMcQ

This video explains it but when men form relationships they push away all women if they are moral because they think still talking to women is cheating this is why cheating takes a toll on them it is similar to why ending relationship is hard on men cuz they have no other woman to fall back on

2022-08-26T02:31:46+00:00

Right, because we historically have had no way of ensuring that what we think is our child is actually our child… A woman is 100% certain that her baby is hers, but men can never know for sure (until recently).

We don’t want to raise offspring that aren’t ours (selfish gene blah), and so we obsess about protecting and monitoring the fidelity of our mate. We’re defending the territory and we’re obsessed with stopping anyone else getting near it. It’s a very sensible and logical behavior in that context. We want to lock her down so that we guarantee our cum is the one that impregnates her…

On the other hand, we want to spread our seed to as many women as possible - because we maximize the chances of our genes being passed on by dumping loads into as many potential mates as possible. We want as many partners as absolutely possible…

ruboyuri · 2022-08-26T03:33:38+00:00

Gee, I wonder why the gender that cares more about sex….cares more about sex? It’s so puzzling!

ThrowRAmtf · 2022-08-26T04:54:05+00:00

some points to consider:

It is very different (from legal and emotional POV) to cheat inside a marriage or inside a normal relationship. In my experience gender behaviors change a lot, because with marriage we have a legal contract where, usually, man get the shorter stick in exchange for faithfulness and constant, predictable sex. Plus, as other have said, to have the certainty of paternity, hence the possessive traits of a husband.
When a girlfriend cheats, she can do it because of immaturity or, simply, to make a revenge because her boyfriend has during time doing less and less for her (going out, little gifts, looking other girls, even for commenting).
When a wife cheats, however, she does it with totally her heart and body. She wants to reconnect again to that thrill of the initial stages of falling in love. That, and not the sex act itself (even if, as someone else has correctly put: a wife cheating, even in her 40-50s, will awaken the "slutty-girl" she was in her 20s performing acts that she never did with her husband or were long forgotten) will be the most devastating thing to discover.
When a husband cheats, instead, usually is able to divide the heart and body, usually because he knows that a divorce will most certainly remove all his possessions and achievements (house, cars, kids...). Not that it does not happen, but it is less frequent that a husband will leave the wife. Mostly (more than 80%) of divorces are initiated by the wife, not the husband.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-08-26T06:00:54+00:00

Guys are just as obsessed with stupid fantasies as women.

Women who cheat are shit people.

Men backward rationalize that as them being a superior man to the current beau for ego purposes. Rather than just realize they're bedding down with shit.

TheLoneMushroom · 2022-08-26T08:19:30+00:00

Hm kind of weird but a girl cheated on her partner for me and I basically stole his gf when he went off into the Army. I never though of it as a Chad thing or anything. I just had zero self esteem and didn't realize how fucked up of a thing that was (even if the guy wasn't the coolest). Only a piece of trash would want a girl to cheat on her guy for him. I rarely give it much thought since then. I'm not really that scared of getting cheated on because I figure I'd vet the right person and be a good enough partner that they wouldn't feel the need to cheat. Maybe I'm just naive.

Title	Guys seem obsessed with getting cheated on or being the ones who women cheat with
Author	Impossible_Ad_3933
Upvotes	7
Comments	108
Date	August 25, 2022 8:17 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wxobvg/guys_seem_obsessed_with_getting_cheated_on_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guys-seem-obsessed-with-getting-cheated-on-or.1129346 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129346

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