Is celibacy a red flag?

wtknight · 2021-10-08T16:09:36+00:00

They said it was a red flag because to them it meant they were having so much sex that they needed a break

That's not the only reason why somebody might choose to be celibate. I chose to be celibate because I went through a bad divorce and needed a break from women. Eventually, I reached a point where I only wanted to date someone who was "perfect", which essentially meant I still remained celibate. From what I understand, women, who are often less sexually motivated than men, sometimes choose to remain celibate for extended periods of time for similar reasons.

LillianF320 · 2021-10-08T16:07:10+00:00

Personally, no. People can decide to prioritize their life over sex at any point. Does seem like an odd assumption.

LowValueMail · 2021-10-08T17:11:16+00:00

I can’t imagine ever caring about something like that.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2021-10-08T18:57:36+00:00

I've never considered it a red flag but I've been single and celibate for years at a time before, so naturally it would seem less weird to me.

So long as it wasn't a religious thing, I don't think it's an issue.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-08T16:08:33+00:00

I was voluntarily celibate for like 4 years. I wouldn’t consider it a red flag, I would consider it a sign of self control.

Jakes1967 · 2021-10-08T17:56:43+00:00

They said it was a red flag because to them it meant they were having so much sex that they needed a break, but I don’t get why this would be the assumption of everyone who is celibate.

Sounds like a bunch of BS and projection.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-10-08T16:11:27+00:00

I don’t think it’s a red flag. You’re allowed to make whatever choice you want with your body. Anyone who judges that is honestly weird to me

DontwantaFairOne · 2021-10-08T16:28:01+00:00

🚩 When somebody says they don’t drink it suggests a bad relationship/xp with alcohol.

Now apply that to sex

Siukslinis_acc · 2021-10-08T16:20:19+00:00

Nope. I don't care for their sexual past as long as they don't have STD/STI, trauma, abuse (both recieved and given) or a sexual involvement with someone that could "bite them in the ass" at some time.

I wonder how a person can jump from celibate to "had too much sex- needs a break". Do they think that not wanting sex is some kind of a tradgedy (similar how people would assume that you were an alcoholic because you don't want to drink alcohol - no, I don't drink it because I don't like the taste/smell of it)? I would assume a celibate person could be a virgin or just not interested in sex, like an asexual person.

Some people can't fathom that other people might not like the thing that they like (or can't live without).

Cuntwaffe3 · 2021-10-08T16:31:41+00:00

It wouldn't, but I would ask about their history as well. I prefer my men to be selective.

NarniaFox · 2021-10-08T16:06:30+00:00

It would depend on their reasoning.

Are they celibate due to religious beliefs? Do they belief that sex drains their "energy"? Have they been traumatized and they've taken time to heal? Were they just busy? Are they against casual? Depending on their reason for doing this, it could be either a benefit or a major downside or a hard no.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-08T18:59:29+00:00

This Twitter person sounds dumb to me but they can have whatever red flags they want. If a guy they used the word “celibate” that would be weird. It’s normal to have breaks in between relationships, or sex partners for lots of reasons. I would just think he was a normal person being selective and I would consider it a good thing that he wasn’t sleeping around. I wouldn’t even question it unless he talked like a weirdo then I would think he was not celibate by choice.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-10-08T16:24:00+00:00

Absolutely, if a woman says I'm going to be celibate for a year or something like that, that just reads to me " I've been taking too much dick lately and I need to clear my head", now obviously it's a different if somebody's a virgin and it's for religious reasons, or something like that

danielli_ · 2021-10-08T16:34:56+00:00

Celibacy in the sense that they don’t plan on having sex with me inside the relationship? Yea red flag, as in I’m not considering the person as an option at all.

If they just haven’t had sex because they only want to have sex in relationships and haven’t been in one for a year, no not a red flag at all.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-10-08T16:06:14+00:00

Women can get it so easily. That would be really hard to believe.

gofigure62 · 2021-10-08T17:19:32+00:00

I don't consider celibacy a red flag. No one has to have sex, so someone choing to abstain from it isn't a problem for me.

Depending on the reason, it would just be a sign of incompatibility for me.

I have no intrest in marriage, so there's no point in me dating someone is celibate for marriage.

I'm not interested in a relationship, but would be open to waiting for someone if the chemistry was right.

I wouldn't mind waiting if someone was celibate because they couldn't find a safe partner to be with.

I have a high libido and would prefer to have a partner that is interested in entertaining that.

IOportA · 2021-10-08T16:59:51+00:00

If a woman is celibate it's because she chose to fuck a bad boy who screwed her over and now she's going to make a good guy wait and work for it.

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2021-10-08T17:09:26+00:00

It's red flag for dudes. I'm MGTOW and don't mention that I'm not fucking to anyone because I know the negative connotations.

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Rosifer433d · 2021-10-08T16:16:49+00:00

Depends.

Is she religious?

I'll pass.

has she been celibate for the last year or two or whatever, because she's busy with work and doesn't have the time to meet men, and she isn't into casual sex?

Sure, it doesn't bother me.

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-10-08T17:32:34+00:00

I am celibate, but not by choice.

So I am still a walking red flag, either if I had "so much sex that I needed a break" or if I was just the average incel.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-10-08T17:35:34+00:00

I'd prefer it to be honest. I don't think I'd be very compatible with someone who has frequently had sex outside of relationships, so if they were celibate simply because they were single it wouldn't be a problem at all and frankly I'd be a hypocrite if I took issue with it.

gkom1917 · 2021-10-08T21:22:21+00:00

Who cares? If a person chooses to be celibate, he's already not so much concerned with what others might think about him. Personally, going celibate was among best decisions I've ever made, and it had nothing to do with "too much sex" obviously

midwestufohunter · 2021-10-08T21:25:31+00:00

It’s the greenest flag.

mistresswhat · 2021-10-08T22:59:45+00:00

I'd consider it a red flag for low sex drive, which would be a problem for me.

M_LaSalle · 2021-10-09T03:12:51+00:00

Well, presumably I know they're celibate because they told me. Presumably they want me to know this for a reason. If that reason is that they intend to remain celibate, then I need not waste my time. Now maybe they had a breakup or what have you. Or maybe she's been a total slut and she's trying to look like less of a slut or "revirginize" herself. (I heard the term in a discussion of Christian dating. Not being especially religious, I didn't give it much thought.) Maybe she's trying to get me to wait for sex longer than I'm willing to wait.

Whatever it is, I say that it's not necessarily a Red Flag, but it might be. I say that since she brought it up, then she needs to tell me why she brought it up. Why do I need to know this?

It's not so much that she's celibate, it's that she felt the need to volunteer this information.

upalse · 2021-10-09T15:33:17+00:00

Celibacy as in volcel? Totally sus.

Celibacy as in femcel? Not really. It's pretty common for women to go on up to year pauses post break up - it's either celibacy, or ho-phasing. I'd be more worried if she ho-phased.

Nihix · 2021-10-09T21:51:51+00:00

Depends. Involuntary? major red flag for people.

Voluntary in someone ugly? people will think they are coping and lying.

Vountary in someone hot? No. "free spirit" or lone wolf mysterious vibes.

This is specially true for men, foerwomen the lines blur.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-10-10T03:08:21+00:00

Guys like me used to be called "bachelors" and celibacy was probably assumed.

Now we're called "MGTOW" because we don't want relationships and "Volcels" because were not having sex and DGAF.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-10-08T18:04:46+00:00

A woman being celibate usually means she was very sexually open in the past. I think it's a red flag who are looking for low body count women for LTR relationships.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2021-10-08T16:35:36+00:00

I would just scroll on by and try to forget I saw that.

Some people want to see the worst in others.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-08T17:13:43+00:00

It always depends on the reason. If they were celibate because they were focusing on other things in life than sex, that would be fine, but if it was because they're tapped out and needed a break, that wouldn't be very appealing.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-10-08T19:17:19+00:00

One of the reasons could be the person is tired of the trauma caused by bad decisions. An ex of mine was celibate for a couple of years before me. She kept a journal which I regretfully read. It’s definitely a red flag to look into.

Allblackallamerican · 2021-10-08T19:36:19+00:00

Definitely depends on the age and how it is said.

Celibacy is a practice or a condition. Those that usually say it would mean that they are actively celibate and actively abstaining from sexual encounters. That’s markedly different from just living life and not having had any sexual encounters come about, where someone would be technically be celibate but is willing to break it if something nice comes along.

So yeah, at my age, to hear someone say they are practicing celibacy, I probably wouldn’t be able to help but wonder what they were doing to feel the need to actively abstain from it.

Title	Is celibacy a red flag?
Author	Thatshygurl
Upvotes	6
Comments	118
Date	October 8, 2021 4:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q40pui/is_celibacy_a_red_flag/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-celibacy-a-red-flag.1076711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076711

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