Not really understanding the whole work on yourself movement.

plplokokplok · 2022-02-12T23:20:57+00:00

I don't understand why you would think improving and growing as a person is wasted effort at any point ever. Every person should always be growing and trying to improve who they are. Not compared to others but compared to past-them.

Sorry_Restaurant_804 · 2022-02-12T23:28:51+00:00

Its a narrative being sold to average men, think its called "just world fallacy". If vast majority of men are told the truth, that the game is rigged from the start, they might not take it lightly and would rebel. Rulers dont want to see their slaves go free which will ironically happen since now women have rights and when they have them, they go full on degenerate.

logiauser · 2022-02-12T22:45:01+00:00

If you are getting good results, you don’t need to do anything.
If not, improve yourself.

Are you getting the results you want?

KirthWGersen · 2022-02-12T22:48:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

chromie96 · 2022-02-12T23:51:33+00:00

You should work on yourself for you. Not someone else. I'm not a big fan of the work on yourself movement when it comes to doing it for dating because to often it's not working on yourself, it's changing core parts of your personality.

billsull_02842 · 2022-02-14T06:34:11+00:00

why dont women have to work on themselves? because men arent as picky.

psychicbike · 2022-02-15T00:56:30+00:00

Women get with average men because they don’t think they deserve any better sometimes. Or they don’t know how to find a “high value partner.” Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who views themselves as unworthy of something better? Someone that has self esteem issues? I was fucking pumped that my future spouse would be getting ME because I knew I was gonna be the best goddamn spouse in the world. People would be so jealous of my spouse because they had me. I feel so good to give my spouse the very best of who I am, and they feel good doing the same for me. Why would you want less than that?

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-02-12T23:42:17+00:00

If you are working on yourself for female approval, you are wasting your life. The only ones getting the women are the red pill “gurus” getting rich off your donations

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-02-13T00:57:47+00:00

Cause you should always be working on yourself whether you’re in a relationship or an incel literally everyone should always be trying to be better

ogsimpology · 2022-02-13T08:48:12+00:00

It's good to keep in shape, for your own confidence, and likely to increase the sexual tension between you and your partner. Never a bad thing.

Getting your money up, if possible is always good, more money, less worries.

But the main reason the "average, non-rich and non-famous" guys are getting into relationships, is because of something the majority, if not almost all men on this sub won't understand.

It's because most relationships form out of world view and lifestyle compatibility, and some form of sexual attraction. Everything else is just a bonus if present. No need for abs to have a woman attracted to you. You don't need a yacht either...

Fit-Photograph1646 · 2022-02-19T02:38:21+00:00

Ok looks like you are ready padawan. Go for ethnic girls or black. Trust.

If you want a relationship all you have to do is beta bux, be her "friend" and invite out a few times. If she's laughing at your jokes then.... Boom you're in a relationship and you can make a move whenever. If she denies you or has a birch face on then ghost her immediately. These are easy. But expect backlash if you dump her. She may just fuck your best friend. Or become an escort.

If you want fwb you will likely need to develop some hobby. Like guitar classes, volunteering,, or join crossfit, because they actually have to be in your life to be your friend and enjoy the hobby you're doing too. That won't happen if you're in the gym and library all day like me. Girls don't enjoy going to the gym like men do. They're either there because they are competing or they are avg and are actively talking to a guy already. Don't go for gym chicks. Once you've chosen your artsy environment then you just be her friend, don't say you like her or enjoy "spending" time with her just keep the playful texts coming and one day just invite her over for dinner. Play Netflix movie. And make a move. If she denies it "PLAYFULLY" like she's smiling and giggling and shit, then play it cool, keep trying through out the same night. If she straight up looks at you in disgust or puts her arms up then pull back and act like nothing happened. It's over.

Now if you want to be a couple, as in you are solely there for love and sex, don't be her friend. At all. Don't even listen to her problems. These types of relationships are when the girl falls "head over heels" for you at first glance at a party or club or sporting event or BJJ competition or a Tough ToughMudder or concert or wine tasting festival or vegan food convention etc. You only have one chance and one chance only to make a move on her and this is where you'll have to MOG her existence into oblivion. Gotta be wealthy, tall, and have abs plus be somewhat decent at sex. Boom you are now a couple. Things won't last very long tho unless you start spending money on her and transition to a relationship,. Only horny girls in the hoe phase or post wall women "finding themselves" do this but they can easily become relationship as soon as you spend any amount of money on them so they feel "special".

randomcrocodil3 · 2022-02-13T02:10:47+00:00

You have a bad personality, Jeremy meeks's one is better than 99.999999% of men

Hence why a mutli billionaire heiress married and had kids with him

2022-02-13T00:57:43+00:00

Bc the purpose of working on yourself isn’t to be rewarded w a woman slave.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-02-12T23:09:35+00:00

The problem to me is that we believe that all women only go for high value men.

We? How can you assert what other people believe so casually and get it so wrong? Who thinks a drug dealer is a high value man?! Who thinks a struggling musician is a high value man? It's demonstrably true that only high value men have relationships.

So the question is why are we working so hard on ourselves when there are people who are average not working on themselves and getting results?

Because it's not about 'getting chosen'. Anyone can get into a relationship, but who are they getting and how are they treated? The goal is to be in a relationship with a high value woman and to be respected and cherished by her.

Again this is not to bash working on yourself, but if you can get results right now, why wait till 1-10 years later to start seeing results.

It's like arguing 'why spend years getting an education when you can get a job without one?'. Because the job is going to be shit.

ontarioparent · 2022-02-13T13:53:55+00:00

Working on yourself means being a decent, interesting well rounded person, I’m guessing. And the fact that you look at human relationships as “ results” says volumes about you.

machiavellian_king · 2022-02-13T14:59:02+00:00

Listen man, its pretty simple.

The more you improve, the more options you have.

Regardless of where you start, things ONLY get better as you get better.

Yeah if you have decent options then you dont need to work on yourself. But you would have more options if you did. If you dont have options the only way is to work on yourself. And thats the demographic that the "movement" is appealing to you.

Making more money doesnt get you less women it gets you more women. Getting a better physique doesnt get you less women, it gets you more women.

Learning more languages and improving your knowledge in certain fields gets you access to women in different locations and women involved in fields you previously didnt have access to.

As a man, i couldnt even imagine not trying to have as many options and get as many women as possible. So for me i have always been competitive and trying to be the best and have everything and do everything.

But if you really dont get it, this is why. Be ambitious, be selfish, and go out and make something of yourself fellas. Even without considering the women, you should be doing this anyway.

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msh2404 · 2022-02-12T22:53:52+00:00

I think you should be working on yourself for YOURSELF primarily. This tends to add confidence and unlock some opportunities. I feel like this is a lifelong process, not something short term just get a mate

wtknight · 2022-02-12T23:11:49+00:00

Most of the guys who want to improve who are not very below average are average guys who want a regular casual sex life. These men will probably need to improve if they want the casual sex life that high value men have. Men who are not content with the quality of women who they do attract for relationships might also want to improve, too.

But yeah, average men should be able to find relationships with average to below average women fairly easily without needing to improve.

Lonely_23_1997 · 2022-02-13T13:02:14+00:00

It’s two-fold. The main point of working on yourself is to improve aspects of your life that can lead to overall happiness. Having more friends to improve your social life. Gaining more skills to have more interesting experiences, open up more/better job opportunities etc. The boost on your romantic life is secondary.

People also say it because if you don’t like where you are, usually there’s a lot you can do to change it. So if you’re not where you want to be it makes sense to put in effort to get there.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2022-02-13T14:41:47+00:00

I am not sure what coaches you go to, but i suggest you change them ASAP. You don't work on yourself for women. You work on yourself for yourself.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-02-13T17:35:08+00:00

I thought people did it for themselves? Like I worked and went to college, got a degree. I worked towards certifications and education to further my career, to make more money and not having a shitty job where I was treated subhuman. The money was for having the home I wanted and funds to travel, go to concerts, and just do fun things.

I read and learn about subjects because it's just interesting. I work on being more empathetic and supportive to be a better friend and family member.

I thought this was like a given.

DRAPET0MANIAC · 2022-02-13T17:43:21+00:00

It’s good advice for people who look at socializing and/or dating as a video game. If they work on their fitness + finances they will probably get better results than they are currently getting.

People who aren’t quantifying their potential partners and trying to come up with a codified process don’t really need all that. Their dating process is more organic.

Big_Cake5156 · 2022-02-13T22:11:45+00:00

Why work hard to have a good career when there are people making money recording themselves eating on TikTok?

The point is, these people aren't you and it's about improving your own self. You want someone better for yourself so you work for something better for yourself

Sorry_Restaurant_804 · 2022-02-12T23:06:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Not really understanding the whole work on yourself movement.
Author	Smdeveryday
Upvotes	9
Comments	141
Date	February 12, 2022 10:43 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sr3b27/not_really_understanding_the_whole_work_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/not-really-understanding-the-whole-work-on.1101001 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101001

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