The idea behind the captain/first mate relationship model is that women admire a decisive, motivated man who willingly takes on the responsibility of leadership. If a man shows clear direction, women will happily follow him to awesome-land. On the other side, men admire and love a woman who is submissive and will support them in their goals. Therefore, the ideal relationship is where the man primarily leads, and the woman takes on a supportive role.

This sounds like an OK deal to me. Who wouldn't want to be with someone who plans for the future and is willing to take on the majority of responsibility for the relationship? Someone who not only has the motivation to succeed, but also offers you motivation as well. Someone who inspires you to become a better person. A true leader and not just an authoritarian. Who wouldn't want to be with someone like this?

I wouldn't, because this man isn't real. He doesn't exist. He is a fake man that I created from expectations. I don't want to love an imaginary man. I would rather love a real, imperfect man, than a fake ideal one. Additionally, it's not fair to men to expect them to fit with my image of what a man should be. It's not fair to expect them to take on the responsibility for my future and happiness. That's my job, as it should be.

In addition, men are unwilling to fill this role. They don't want it. They want to play video games and watch football. When they come home from work, they don't want to play leader. They want to relax. They want to be allowed to make mistakes without the constant pressure of knowing that fucking up could potentially diminish the happiness of another person that depends on them. They also want me to cook dinner and be sexually available (which I'm fine with), but they generally aren't anxious to decide how we are going to save up money for a house or retirement. They don't want to lead our relationship into a better future. They don't even want to talk about the future. This is how men are in my experience, and I am submissive to the point of being a doormat. It doesn't make a difference. Men don't want to be leaders.

So that's why I am saying that the captain/first mate is impractical/doesn't work. It rests on the concept of an idealized man, but this man doesn't exist. RedPillers have told me before that 'you just haven't found the right captain'. Well when I find him, I'll let you know. But until then I need to adopt a different strategy. The most practical alternative that I've come up with is just to be my own captain in addition to being a first mate to men. That way men get what they want, and I'm not disappointed. I will need to supply my own motivation, my own direction, make my own decisions, and plan for my own future. I can't trust or expect men to do it for me. This gives me the power to control my own happiness, but also removes the burden of responsibility from men. It allows men the freedom to be themselves. This to me seems the best practical solution to the modern day relationship.