The Party Scene

huhuhuhuh11 · 2021-02-03T02:48:56+00:00

I like to go out with friends for sure, but never engaged in casual sex with strangers.

I’ve had girlfriends that would ditch the group outing once their tinder boy toy came around, usually it was nbd. They’d fuck around for awhile and things would fizzle out after a few weeks then its back to square one.

But I’ve also had gfs who would become too invested in their boy toy and cry about how he doesn’t wanna commit, only sees her at 12am or later, doesn’t wanna go on dates etc etc. It’s actually really sad. These attractive & highly educated women are begging these dudes for crumbs.

Most women I know don’t like the party/hook up scene but are too dumb to get out of it. Most men I know love the party/hook up scene and can’t believe how easy women have become.

TheJim66 · 2021-02-03T02:43:41+00:00

Duh. It's a scene where it's socially acceptable to hit on random women and with a disproportionate number of single women looking for men. The alcohol making men more daring and the women sluttier also helps.

Its a great way to get laid but it can get tiring.

Bright_Itempas · 2021-02-03T08:07:01+00:00

It was like partying. Lots of alcohol, drugs, dancing, drinking games. Some parties, people were in various stages of undress. Most parties had separate partying spaces, so people had their choice of anything from playing beer pong or foosball, sitting around passing the bong, or dancing.

Most of this was in college for me - fraternity parties and house parties. Partying in high school and post-college were mostly smaller house parties, with some exceptions (regional burns, large house parties, festivals, bars, clubs).

Partying was peak casual sex. I don't know how anyone else has casual sex, if not partying. Funnily enough, at least half of the people I partied with didn't do casual, but they contributed to the atmosphere where casual was common simply by virtue of being low inhibation + low disgust. You don't have to have sex to make out on the dance floor.

No regrets. I really loved it - the drinking and drugs, the games, the dancing. Every young person should give it a try.

NarniaFox · 2021-02-03T02:47:59+00:00

A party scene means partying, doesn't it?

If so, I was never into it. I get drunk really easily, so I don't drink in public and with people I don't know well, I don't like crowded and loud places and I get tired of chatting with too many people. I'm also not into casual and have never had it.

Getting together with 3-4 friends preferably in one's home is the best way of "partying" for me. Good vine, great vibe, hoke made meals or pizza.

Edit: zero regrets. It's just no my cup of tea.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-02-03T03:09:02+00:00

The party scene IS the casual sex scene. Incels don't get any cuz they don't have friends, don't get invited to parties, and are too uptight to do drugs

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-02-03T03:23:27+00:00

It was great. Highly recommend for younger people

simeneta · 2021-02-03T03:01:06+00:00

I went to frat parties pretty regularly as an underclassman in college but during my junior & senior years I dropped that for smaller house parties where I knew everyone. Was never particularly into the clubbing scene although I'd go occasionally if someone else invited me. As a late 20s working adult I only do small house parties with groups of no more than 10.

Yes it's easier to get casual sex when everyone is hammered and/or high

No regrets. Glad I had a pretty normie college/early 20s experience

cloudydays84 · 2021-02-03T06:29:51+00:00

If it wasn't because of covid I'd still be part of it, and honestly it's pretty cool

I miss going to house shows on the weekends, getting drunk, talking to random strangers, cramming myself in someone's basement to hear (some pretty good) amateur music, and sloshing my way back to my apartment with friends at like 3 in the morning. And I'm being totally unsarcastic.

(Best part is that since I'm still young unless i go on a total bender all weekend I can get drunk and pretty much not wake up hungover)

As far as casual sex goes, very easy to have in that type of environment, it definitely helps but I never really hookup at parties or shows, just not my thing. I've made out with a couple of people at shows though.

No regrets currently, and probably none going forward.

philomexa · 2021-02-03T03:47:26+00:00

My party scene was frats, nightclubs/bars in Chicago, and house parties. Never hooked up with strangers though since I married my husband at 20 and I was in 2 LTRs before him. The party scene started at 16 and lasted until about, 27ish? Began with rich kid house parties in high school, then frats in early college, a few spring breaks in Cabo and Las Vegas, moved on to house parties in late college, then we all graduated and moved to Chicago where it was a mix of nightclubs/bars/lounges and house parties in boystown/wrigleyville. Lots of drugs and alcohol, scant memories, a few 3somes, and I definitely lost a job cause I was tripping out for 16 hours and couldn't go to work.

10/10, young people should stop being lame retards and go party.

Spacechichen_1990 · 2021-02-03T06:07:48+00:00

Was amazing, I loved dancing all night & was your typical raver chick.

It’s what made me how I am today I.e very confident & chatty.

Yes everyone was having casual sex, that’s to be expected with liberal ppl who enjoy drugs.

I have no regrets, well except maybe overdoing it with stimulants at a young age. But it’s not impacted my life negatively.

passepar2t · 2021-02-03T08:48:18+00:00

I wasn't part of a "scene" but I did attend and host parties. What is a "party scene?"

It was okay, I guess. Some parties were great, others weren't that good. No regrets, why would I have regrets?

It helped me meet people, including women, some of whom I've slept with.

merlinscalculator · 2021-02-03T09:58:12+00:00

I love the party scene. 24 and still not bored of it. I’ve never had casual sex. I just like drugs and parties and telling my friends I would literally DIE for them while on molly.

_mwk · 2021-02-03T06:57:16+00:00

my party scene was mostly uni related, house parties, smallish student bar parties and on campus parties. clubs were never that appealing to me

it was great, i miss it a lot, if it weren't for covid id be in it rn. i met many of my closest friends in my first year of uni parties.

it's a great environment to talk to strangers, make friends very...instantly, and do low inhib spontaneous shit so it's obv great for casual sex. you'd probably miss out on it if you never were a part of it

my one regret is not going out more pre-covid, i turned down my friends so many times for such dumb reasons.

SnowHatesWome · 2021-02-03T14:36:49+00:00

Party scene is overrated. Just a bunch of drunk people doing stupid shit. Would rather just hang with a solid group of friends.

Casual sex is overrated imo too. I’m one of the men who think that male promiscuity is just as bad as female promiscuity and can have the same psychological damaging effects.

I regret the hookups (with some not all), regret not using my time more wisely.

Definitely easier to get casual sex in those situations tho

md8716 · 2021-02-03T05:05:03+00:00

Never part of it. Spent almost all of my 20s training, working, and traveling.

I don't feel like I missed out at all. I got to see the world, make great money, and live an amazing unique lifestyle. It also set me up for the high earning career I'm in now.

Any moron can drink and drug themself into a stupor, and plug the nearest wet hole. You get one life to live and that's kind of a lame thing to waste it on.

Alarmed-HamsterSpins · 2021-02-03T06:48:32+00:00

Nooooo regrats!!!!

drok007 · 2021-02-03T11:12:59+00:00

What was it like?

Awesome and fun

Do you think it helped you when it came to having casual sex if you were in to that sort of thing?

I don’t know how you would do it any other way.

Any regrets?

No.

87AudreyHorne · 2021-02-03T11:59:45+00:00

I don't know, I was never really into clubbing or raves, I don't like dancing or loud places.

But I would (and still do) go out with friends regularly for drinks. Now we also do it at homes a lot but we always had cafes/bars, pubs, hell even park benches.

Of course if you're open to meeting people and hooking up to various levels, being drunk helps both sides. I can imagine that clubs where people dance instantly get very physical whereas I would normally get into an intense long drunk conversation, making out (not really into ONS) and we'd usually keep dating later unless I really wasn't that into the guy and just messed around.

But you can also do all that with no interest in hooking up, so even when I'm in a relationship I socialize similarly with my friends, I just don't flirt or talk to other guys then. We all drink a lot here.

That might be harder if you party through dancing in packed clubs, its probably harder to keep that just contained to you and your friends

So tl;dr don't think I was part of the party scene but also wasn't sitting at home, I think I got exactly the entertainment I wanted.

goatismycopilot · 2021-02-03T16:32:38+00:00

I had a party phase in high-school and college mostly around house parties and going to see bands in various venues. I usually had a boyfriend so I was not into the casual sex thing but it was definitely all around me. I did some drugs but was not a huge drinker.

I still like seeing live music and still do not drink much. Maybe it was not real partying dunno. Used to like doing hot knives. I would still at least smoke weed once in a while if it was legal here. Before Covid I went home to Canada on one of my visits and took my mom to the weed store and we got some gummy pot things. She liked them.I think she had a toke when my baby cousin brought weed at Thanksgiving.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-02-04T17:05:00+00:00

To those who weren't a part of it:

Any regrets?

Why weren't you a part of it?

Did you find it easier or harder to get casual sex if you were into that sort of thing?

Yes, I regret it. I regret that I didn't learn more than I could have, faster than I did. I could have picked up and internalized a lot more, in less time. I regret depriving myself of a lot of fun I could have otherwise had.

I was kind of part of it, but not really. I didn't feel comfortable in it much of the time. It was fun sometimes, but I got to the point most weekends where I had had enough socializing. And, sometimes, it just wasn't fun.

I was hyperfocused on school and then starting to learn my craft and build a career, because I was taught and trained that that was what I should be doing because girls liked "responsible" guys. I felt kind of guilty about partying a lot because i thought it would be neglecting school, and then neglecting work.

It was much harder to get any kind of attention from women, much less casual sex. When you are not socializing regularly in a social scene or friend group, you're not out there. Other people don't see or get to know you; and you don't get to know or see them. When you're a young adult, if others don't see you and socialize with you, then you don't exist. You're a nonentity. Young men who aren't social are especially a nonentity to women. For a man to get on women's radar, he has to be out there, be attractive, and be doing things he's good at and likes. He needs to actually interact with humans, in person.

The other part of why it's harder to get casual sex or any kind of sex, is that when you're nonsocial, you never learn anything about socializing. You keep doing what you were doing, and settling for the same mediocre to shitty results, because you don't know any better. You don't know any better because you've never tried or done anything else. Because you've never tried or done anything else, you never learn anything else. So you stay in the same place, socially stunted and underdeveloped.

No one is going to make you go out and party. No one is going to make you socialize. If, as a man, you want to be left alone, trust me - they'll all leave you alone, and excluded, and on the outside. Not necessarily because they hate you, but because they think you don't like them. Being alone seems to be what you want and what makes you comfortable, and because they won't want to be around you if you don't want to do what they like doing. When you're socially stunted, you're visibly anxious and start exuding discomfort. That makes others uncomfortable, especially young women, who can detect that social awkwardness from a mile away.

So, yeah, being nonsocial or less social than you could be, makes it harder for you to do much of anything in life.

Lie-Equal · 2021-02-03T03:12:54+00:00

The two main types of reliable casual sex are party scene, and artsy/nerdy/eccentric introverts looking to online dating to rack up triple digits to delude themselves into thinking they're desirable

rft24 · 2021-02-03T03:26:09+00:00

the party scene was fun because i got to do what i went there to do: dance, look cute, and spend a night out with my friends.

i can’t comment on the casual sex part.

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gordovondoom · 2021-02-03T03:02:13+00:00

was awesome! i did that for years, since i had a ton of friends and was in a band (as stereotype as it sounds)... dont regret a thing, good parties, lots of women... i am honestly more sad that its all over now, since everyone is married, has kids and so on...

GridReXX · 2021-02-03T03:19:02+00:00

Loved parties. Still do. No regrets whatsoever.

iloveyoubutyou · 2021-02-03T03:44:42+00:00

I wasn't too much into the party scene but my roommates were. I came to a few of them.

My biggest regret is not fixing my door before the first party.

Mayhem977 · 2021-02-03T04:34:09+00:00

Never was part of it. I don’t know, I just wasn’t into the whole of getting fucked up and fucking tons of women. Me and my friends usually fall more on the “nerdy” parties and by that mean I mean play video games, board games, poker, watch movies and yes there was some alcohol lol but you know what? I don’t mind cause those are my favorite kind of parties. We would invite women but let’s face it, most women aren’t into that type of stuff so what’s the point? But overall, there’s no regrets here. It’s nice to have friends who you can also call your brothers.

jax006 · 2021-02-03T05:31:08+00:00

Was not a part of it, was into school and nerd hobbies and part time jobs and was too awkward to get invited to parties, regret it, would have been fun according to speculation as well as everyone who was into it

IcarusKiki · 2021-02-03T05:46:29+00:00

Part of it but didn’t sleep around. It was a lot of fun, mostly because I like music and dancing with friends. It definitely helps people get laid. No regrets except for overdoing it a couple times.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-02-03T05:47:22+00:00

The only regret I have about my partying years is that they didn't last longer. I started dating my partner during that time (12+ years ago), and we drifted away from the scene mostly because other people started having babies.

PrincessFKNPeach · 2021-02-03T05:49:12+00:00

Is it still partying if I just did drugs with a select group of friends in a select group of places?

Jakes1967 · 2021-02-03T06:00:10+00:00

[removed]

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2021-02-03T09:48:14+00:00

I got drunk and went partying quite often age 16-25, but I didnt have sex with strangers because of it. I definitely danced with strangers and made out with them (I enjoy kissing) but that was it. The one time a party situation resulted in casual sex was the birthday party of my brother in law who introduced me to a friend, and I went home with him. Never expected that to go anywhere (but enjoyed the sexual tension when we saw each other again)

OXOzymandias · 2021-02-03T13:13:14+00:00

I started partying at 20 something stopped before turning 22 cus Covid and shit, well technically i was going out less and less, mainly cus it lost it appeal to me i guess i was never into partying that much also studying is getting harder and harder so idk lol. Anyway, i used to have parties every weekend nights during my 20 years old summer, it was my first year of college, was great.

Do you think it helped you when it came to having casual sex if you were in to that sort of thing?

People will say that it is true, but less be honest that the case if you go in the parties where there is a lot girls and lets say my group friends was not always invited there lol.

Any regrets?

Yes i fucked one exam because of that...

Yharnam_Queen · 2021-02-03T13:50:45+00:00

Nah.

Some bg info: I was studying comp science and am in a LTR (well, engaged, actually) with someone whom I met when I was 15 and they were 21. I'm 24 now.

I was wayyy too focused on my uni and then career to care about parties. Some people from my uni were into wild parties and I was, of curse, always invited, but as an introvert who likes staying home I always declined.

Would it be easier to get casual sex? Probably yes, but it's not something I was/ I am interested in. No regrets.

Hoopy223 · 2021-02-03T15:58:55+00:00

Drugs is my only regret. Several of my friends got all screwed up and a couple died.

Fuego213 · 2021-02-03T16:38:58+00:00

Still a part of it (pending current pandemic of course). Probably won’t ever let go of it tbh. It’s just a big part of my social lifestyle. Parents did it. Grandparents did it. Friends do it. So I’m kinda right where I’m supposed to be.

Casual sex is probably one of the main proponents of going out and partying so yeah I think it helps a lot. But of course that involves having prerequisites that would make someone successful in normal dating like being a good dude, good conversation, being fun etc.

GrandRub · 2021-02-03T17:03:51+00:00

i miss it :( lets hope for the summer!

and of course you have more sex if you have more opportunities and come in contact with people who wanna have fun.. are drunk etc etc.

thrwdisaccountaway · 2021-02-03T18:28:36+00:00

I literally cannot describe to you what my party scene was like because it would get me in trouble. Needless to say: wild and fun.

Did it help me have sex? On an n-count basis, not really. Most of my bangs came from outside of party atmospheres. My "top" bangs were all outside party atmospheres. Even if I partied hard as fuck.

However, some of my best "moments" sexually were because of parties. Threesomes on several substances, picking up chicks to fuck in closets... etc. Can't really do that sober.

SuperPutin54 · 2021-02-04T02:49:16+00:00

I never hooked with random strangers. I went to house parties, bars and clubs. Pre-rona I had plans every weekend. I'd bring my bf with me, or a friend he knew if he didn't want to go.

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-02-04T09:33:27+00:00

I was in the party scene for a while. I was always down for whatever, college parties, clubs, bars, raves, house parties, i knew people who would invite me. I would say I was a part of it mostly in college and my 20s than anything else. I didn’t have a problem with the drinking or drugs, it was something I had a lot of fun doing myself.

That being said I didn’t get casual sex from it, because regardless of where you are you still need the looks to get casual sex. So I wasn’t successful in that way, and trust me I really wanted to have casual sex and still do, but it was still fun because I like being social and going to places.

I don’t have any regrets. What’s there to regret?

Gravel_Roads · 2021-02-03T08:51:42+00:00

I've never had the stamina to be "A Party Guy" myself, but I'm a dirty free-love hippy who falls in with a lot of people who are. I've been to a lot of gathers, fests, underground concerts and clubs and shit, especially when I lived in Philadelphia.

Do you think it helped you when it came to having casual sex if you were in to that sort of thing?

This is, to me, one of those chicken/egg issues.

While I definitely think exposing myself to these types of situations has helped me fine-tune my social skills (and thus my ability to talk to women/be good company/demonstrate that I can be a good time), I was already naturally open to meeting new people, trying new things, going new places and enjoy trying out new customs/foods/sexual experiences ect. I don't tend to judge people or hold things against them, which is what gets me invited to these sorts of events in the first place. So yes, it helped, but you have to have a certain level of social grace to get there.

The primary reason some people get invited to "everything" and some people never get invited to anything is partially related to "how you come off". If you seem like an uptight, judgemental, anxious, neurotic or otherwise "downer" type of person, or if you seem like you can't tolerate diverse types of people, you will probably be selected out, because a party scene is only as good as its weakest member. All you need is one neurotic waste having a meltdown on the dance floor because someone stepped on their foot to ruin the scene for everyone, so when inviting new people, they are not only inviting you to a good time, they are expecting you to also contribute to the good time, not just stand around and wait to be entertained. In social scenes, you are a reflection on the person who brought you. No one wants to be the guy who brought the dude who kept going around insulting people or crying when they drank too much.

Any regrets?

Nope. I've definitely seen people do stupid things, and have regrets from them. But stupid people will do stupid things they regret even outside of the party atmosphere. If you're sane and have enough self-control and self-awareness to screen out dumb behaviors and dumb people, the only down side (for me), was how exhausting it was. I could never go clubbing more than once or twice a month even when I was in my 20's.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-02-03T02:59:11+00:00

To those who were a part of it:

What was it like?

I grew up and went to college in west Texas which is...a weird place. I ran around with an eclectic mix of rednecks, hipsters and artists, and I was involved in the local music scene which mainly consisted of "red dirt" country and hardcore/emo bands. (You'd be surprised how much those groups all overlap in that part of the country.)

My "party scene" was less clubs and frat parties and more dive bars, country dance halls and playing beer pong in someone's garage.

My now husband and his roommate at the time had the house that was sort of party central for our group. Usually we would all pitch in for a keg on Thursday or Friday night and hang out all weekend until it was gone, or people would BYOB. Usually there were around 20 people, sometimes less, sometimes more.

There was a core group of friends who was always hanging out there, and they would bring friends or siblings or roommates or cousins or co-workers or whatever, so there were always new people too. We played beer pong and listened to music. A lot of my friends were musicians so sometimes we'd have a campfire in the backyard and pass around a guitar. There was a spare room that people would smoke weed and have sex in. We got up to a lot of ridiculous drunk shenanigans. At the end of the night people would crash on couches or floors or sometimes in sleeping bags in the back yard.

The vast majority of my "partying" was done at house parties like this. When we went out, it was to see bands play or go country dancing. We also road tripped to sxsw for spring break every year, back when it was still cool and mostly free.

Do you think it helped you when it came to having casual sex if you were in to that sort of thing?

I'm a woman so idk if this question is really intended for me but yeah, most of my hookups took place in this environment.

Any regrets?

None whatsoever. I had the time of my life, made lifelong friends, could write a book about all my hilarious memories, and I met my husband.

Kaisha001 · 2021-02-03T03:38:17+00:00

I was a bouncer for 5y through uni... and it was a blast. I loved going to work. So many hot chicks, and I got to deal with assholes the proper way to deal with them :) It was far more fun than lifeguarding.

Manufacture-Insight · 2021-02-03T07:49:07+00:00

Been to a couple parties, but I hated more than liked it. Drunk people having no actual conversations, thus bringing no actual contribution for my own improvement. Did some dancing, but got bored after a while and just watched drunk people make fools of themselves.

I wished I did more travelling, I wish I visited museums, cultural events or public concerts. My other regrets are waiting so long to start having a LTR and wasting my money on things I don't even own anymore.

JB8511R · 2021-02-03T05:29:33+00:00

The party scene was just a place for degenerates to be degenerates. I’ve been to many parties and liked very few of them. I still get invited to them (pre pandemic) but I don’t go since I don’t feel like fucking random women, doing drugs or paying for overpriced drinks

Title	The Party Scene
Author	Danger3214
Upvotes	5
Comments	125
Date	February 3, 2021 2:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lbdg28/the_party_scene/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-party-scene.740564 https://theredarchive.com/post/740564

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