What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misandrist”? What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misogynistic”?

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-03-11T20:25:28+00:00

Please be SPECIFIC

In almost all cases I’ve encountered, where a person has been misandrist or misogynistic, that person has almost always lacked Self Awareness. In their hatred. For example almost all the women I dated, have had bad relationships. Which have influenced their level of trust, and faith, in their relationship with me. Which is understandable. It is also not conducive, to a healthy relationship.

Conversely after my first divorce, I did a ton of therapy. To gain a ton of objective perspective. So I could broaden my world view. To ensure I was effectively processing, and letting go of past experiences, and the pain involved. So that I wasn’t projecting any of my biases, or carrying any of those negative feelings forward. I’m not perfect at it. I am however, a great deal better at it now, than I was back then.

Godspeed and good luck!

mlo9109 · 2024-03-11T20:39:10+00:00

Abuse and neglect, particularly, at the hands of one's parents or other authority figures.

A lot of the misandry I observe in women in my circle (myself included to some degree) comes from being abused physically, emotionally, and sexually by the men in their lives (fathers, brothers, partners, etc.) I went from an emotionally abusive relationship to being sexually harassed on dating apps in my attempts to find another healthy relationship and am starting to question why I even bother. I was also SA-ed by a family friend.

While I can't speak from personal experience re: misogyny, I taught at a Title 1 school pre-COVID and saw boys who were neglected by their fathers (Dad's not in the picture or Mom's the default parent if Dad is around). Most teachers were female, so boys didn't have male role models at home or school leading them to look for love in all the wrong places and find it in the manosphere and other misogynistic online spaces.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-03-11T21:41:32+00:00

What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misandrist”?

honestly? this sub lol. Interacting with some of you makes me hate all men. Fortunately I can forget about this when interacting IRL

forking_guy · 2024-03-11T21:00:21+00:00

The probably obvious answer for both: negative and traumatic experiences with the opposite sex. I resent being called a misogynist, but my failed relationships certainly gave me a much less "romantic" view of women. If you have a woman who has been abused or raped; or a man who has been abused, cheated on, raised a child who wasn't actually his.... I think it's hard to blame them for having some negative feelings towards the other gender.

Literal_Jesus_ · 2024-03-11T20:56:53+00:00

Every misandrist I've met is a rape or domestic violence survivor.

Most misogynists usually give some story about getting cheated on /raised in a church/ had a terrible mother. But these dudes typically aren't as articulate about their experiences so I genuinely don't know (I'd be shocked if some of these dudes don't have legitimate trauma that they haven't processed).

I-wanna-GO-FAST · 2024-03-11T21:37:00+00:00

Probably mostly just shitty dating experiences and spending too much time online in certain forums. For both.

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-03-11T22:46:01+00:00

I am a misandrist. What has led me to this is witnessing the utter idiocy of the average man in every facet of life and the grotesqueness of his overweight body.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-03-12T00:59:41+00:00

I think women’s propensity and high likelihood of being unfaithful is probably the root of all misogyny

Misandry could come from abuse at the hands of men but also I think a lot of it is the culture

Soul_vaccine · 2024-03-12T13:00:23+00:00

I think for women it’s the narrative that men are oppressing them (no longer true). And for men it’s that women are supposed to be modern and enlightened but they still prefer a more traditionally masculine archetype.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-03-11T20:54:48+00:00

I think misogynists have either had no success with women so that they become resentful, or extreme success with women so that women become devalued in their eyes.

I suspect there are similar motivations behind misandry though they’re not exactly the same.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-03-11T20:27:40+00:00

People become misandrists either due to lived experiences or online echo chambers. Having a couple shitty or abusive boyfriends, being harassed, or spending a lot of time on social justicey spaces like tumblr where other people's misandry is amplified and there's a lot of fear mongering.

Misogyny is a part of our culture though, some guys have been misogynist since elementary school. But excluding those guys, probably having a shitty mom or sisters. Or constant rejection/not getting the desired outcome out of relationships with women. Women are still of lower status in society though and generally are not taken seriously by the majority of guys.

SignifyingNothing5 · 2024-03-11T22:38:47+00:00

Confirmation bias. It's like there's something in the air or more likely in our make up making us a little suspicious of "other" groups whose lives we can't fully understand. You go looking for confirmation of those suspicions and you'll find it. That can snowball from distrust to dislike to outright hatred if unchecked.And some people who aren't naturally suspicious and have little or no bias to confirm have genuinely shitty experiences that shape their views and behavior. That doesn't excuse really bad acts though.

I gotta say before continuing that misogyny and misandry are not equivalent. For lots of reasons. Misogyny has far worse consequences than misandry. If I speak of those terms in a sort of parallel manner it's for discussion purpose and not because they're comparable in their impact.

Misogynists hate like women because they're women. Misandrists hate men because they're men. Mistreating or harming men or women based on this hate is one of the mis words. An islolated incident, even a pretty bad act might not be a mis word if it's based on some genuinely interpersonal dispute. It's believing that it's OK to mistreat or harm men or women because they basically have it coming that makes it a mis word.

So for examples a man hitting a woman in anger may or may not be misogynist. He's out of control and an ass in almost any case, but he may not hate women. I'm more inclined to think that a man who justifies this behavior is misogynist. If he thinks that it's necessary to "slap the bitch around to show her whose boss", I have no doubt he's misogynist.

Likewise a woman who badmouths an ex, say p;ublicly in a manner that might harm his person, reputation, or career, may be vindictive or spiteful, but not necessarily misandrist. A woman who knows none of the details but says "the asshole had it coming" and passe the story along probably is.

odd_cloud · 2024-03-12T00:58:42+00:00

I think, there are three sources of both:

influence of family, media, or culture. For example, the belief that men are oppressive oppressors comes from this source primarily.
Personal experience. Things like abuse and cheating.
Lack of knowledge about the other sex. For example, the idea that “men just need to get off” or not believing that periods may cause severe pain.

The three things are pretty much intertwined.

I think there are also sources that form specifically misogyny or misandry. It looks like misogyny is formed in unsuccessful men who aren’t noticed by women at all. As for misandry, the image of a “real man” plays a big role. Kinda, a real man is a billionaire, sports star, Nobel prize winner, navy seal, great father and romantic partner at the same time. If a guy isn’t all of that, he’s of course a “false”, shitty man.

Unique-Afternoon6316 · 2024-03-12T14:26:27+00:00

I struggle to call myself a misogynist, but for a long time and I'm sure in a large part now I do 'fear' women because of my upbringing having lots of abuse that was ignored because my mother is a woman, as well as inappropriate conduct forced upon me by another student when I was younger that scarred me pretty hard and likely stunted my development.

As for misandry, I could see the same being likely. Someone who encountered abuse or sexual violence from a man I could see having a misandrist view- people whom have these experiences I don't really condemn for fearing. But I do condemn them for hating other people.

I think there are others who internalize messaging from bad actors that cause them to become misogynists or misandrists without any actual experience, and although I find it kinda mean to laugh at people who have fallen for propaganda, it's hard not to judge people who hate others because of something they read on the internet of all places.

Mentathiel · 2024-03-12T18:36:11+00:00

For misandrist women I've met:

being made to do household chores while their male siblings, cousins, etc. chilled, often by their moms actually who excused this behavior
being abused / cheated on in a relationship
being taught misandrist things about men, such as that they can't help themselves, that they're sexually violent, aggressive, that they need to watch out for them, not being allowed sleepovers, being given shorter curfews than their brothers, in general just a heavy implication that they're in danger around men being communicated
modern leftie politics taken too far, generalized too broadly, misapplied
not being able to communicate their needs and st boundaries effectively and blaming men for not reading their minds
being often given misogyny as an excuse for their failings, even when it's their own responsibility, and then sort of learning to see it everywhere, not knowing the distinction between someone just disrespecting them and someone disrespecting them specifically because they're a woman

For misogynistic men I've met:

being lonely or socially isolated, socially awkward, leading to not having much experience with women and then either idealizing or resenting them or kinda both
not living up to their own goals and ambitions and then resenting women who're better than them at whatever it was
being cheated on
being told that abusive behavior by women is normal in relationships when they complain, their friends sort of normalizing it, they don't really condone it, but they imply that it's something you just have to deal with with women, examples: jealousy, insults, yelling, hitting, silent treatment
being taught that women are wonderful, putting them on a pedastal, hardcore kind of being taught to feel some sort of reverence for women that ends up feeling kind of dehumanizing to be at the receiving end of bc I don't feel like they see me as a human being, it's more like an object of admiration, I'd see this as benevolent sexism, and it seems mostly taught, this is usually really bad when paired with some other factors on this list
parents' relationship had an ugly divorce
growing up in a sexually repressive environment

GlancingWillow · 2024-03-12T20:13:41+00:00

Rape/crime statistics don’t paint men in a favorable light, so, when you take into perspective a women who let’s say had been abused and who recognizes this to further her pre-existing bias in where she then goes on a dating app where she’s sexually harassed then hears/sees constant disparaging about 30+ women from men who then at some point happens upon a porn website where all you can find on the front page is teen, barely legal, faux bait, and incest porn implying this is what most men want to see then….not truly the pristine look of men in our current culture which can translate into the extreme of hatred.

FYI I haven’t been abused by a man nor am I 30 but, I can psychologically understand a certain process such as I can the inverse (:

Just_Natural_9027 · 2024-03-11T20:33:17+00:00

The red pill working for guys and crushing all their once held beliefs. I known more than a few “nice guys” get into red pill it working for them then they buy hook line and sinker into all the other crap associated with it.

The red pill doesn’t work for the socially autistic incel that represents this place.

It does seem to be effective for the normie guy who struggles to create attraction with women. When it works for these types of guys it makes them very jaded.

izoldetales · 2024-03-11T21:21:08+00:00

Okay, let's try this.

Basically, through history , there is a constant dynamic that produce a loser and a winner . When the loser is forced to lose by oppression. It become an act of hate. If It's done to men because they are men , It's misandry . If it's done to women because they are women It's misogyny.

Now , let's start with the buzz word of feminist " misogyny " . They were never a time when women were hated only because they are women under a well constructed government or an established rulers . Whatever women may bring as an example of misogyny through history , another group of people can bring worse since women themselves were adhering to other groups.

1_ Women:" The Spanish inquisition "

Muslims :" Are you serious ? We suffered the most "

2_ Women : " Rape is a systematic problem "

The government:" bitch are you serious? , do you really thing there is a job that work by raping women. Women get raped cause of bad people that are part of the society not the SYSTEM. Be it man or lesbian women."

3_ Women :" the wage gap "

Everyone: " didn't we prove that it is a lie even after disregarding the fact that men work 4 hours more every week .Even more, childless women above 30 yo earn more than their male peers "

There is no tangible proof from women that mysoginy is systematic or that it is at the same level of terrorism or racism . This is litteraly what being the victim and not being able to stay away from the spotlight is .

Misogyny may even not exist outside of a social level .

But misandry may become a systematic issue if people keep adopting a mentality that women need to be protected even after believing they are strong. There is always a department that is catered to women only and only care about there issues which mean whatever issues men may face those department aren't allowed to interfere and the ones that should interfere doesn't even exist . It's like a police station for rich people only . Wouldn't this be considered a systematic oppression against poor people ? So why It's hard to understand that men are the victim now and women now should accept that the car dealer prioritising your husband's opinion cause he is obviously holding a check isn't MISOGYNY.

Women thing feminists are right merely cause no one challenge them but when you look at it, It's easy to spot the flaws. Misogyny is really boxed by an example of a violence reaction duo to a rejection of a man that already is violent to every other group of people.

Wars would be the main argument for feminists if the governments send women to fight each other. They would probably invent a new word for it .

What women don't understand is they aren't the only one suffering in a particular situation and a lot of other groups simultaneously are and definitely not because of your GENDER.

They saw people actually feeling sorry about poor men or fathers in some movies and thought " Why not me " and this mentality is always obvious when you see women's behaviours .

People :" Let's praise fathers "

Women :" what about mothers "

People :" let's praise sons "

Women :" what about daughters"

People :" let's praise male athletes "

Women :" female athletes never get attention "

People:" let's praise how men actually helped the world "

Women :" what about women who were oppressed "

People:" let's make a month for black people and their history "

Women :" women want one too "

It's like kiss my @$$ or I will cry in a nutshell . There isn't a single group of people that played the victim but also wanna be considered strong and independent.

Intellect7000 · 2024-03-11T20:33:43+00:00

Depends on the person. Some men are misogynistic because of negative experiences with women (ex rejection, mistreatment, taken advantage of, feeling powerless) and a lack of a strong influential mother figure during childhood. Other men are misogynistic because they are threatened by the idea of women's rights and autonomy and feel inferior so they lash out.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-11T23:18:36+00:00

It's just from seeing patterns of gendered behavior, and then applying it to all women/men before you know them.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2024-03-12T02:16:53+00:00

Misogynists are men that have an opinion that I don’t like.

Misandry doesn’t exist.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-03-11T20:53:37+00:00

Misandrist by being spoonfed misandry from our misandrist culture.

Misogyny by negative human traits taking on special importance when present in women because they want something from women that they don't want from men.

Or by forming stereotypes on the playground in 3rd grade and never updating them.

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MikeArrow · 2024-03-11T20:57:50+00:00

They go into a first relationship with starry eyes, expecting a storybook romance, but the guy ends up being a lazy, shiftless manchild who only recognises their existence when they're actively having sex (and sometimes not even then...).

Source: I was one of those man children.

Prudent-Conflict-557 · 2024-03-12T02:16:52+00:00

While I am not genuinely a misandrist, as I do love men.. something that makes me feel as though I may as well throw up my hands and just hate all men is the men on Reddit. The ones who have these conversations. The men over in mensrights too. All the hateful crap they spew. Their inability to have open, constructive conversations about their point of view. Their inability to debate effectively as they often devolve into all sorts of fallacies. Their ridiculous amount of generalizing. How stupid they think women are. The ones who perpetuate toxic stereotypes about men. You know which dudes I’m talking about.

I know that if I were a man and I said the same things I say now.. they wouldn’t be as vile towards me. And that makes me feel very misandrist.

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-03-12T00:24:19+00:00

Watching women make retarded decisions in dating, politics and values to the point they are destroying the countries they are given the equal "rights" in.

My mom's great, one of the few women I respect.

MattPayneWrestler · 2024-03-11T22:13:32+00:00

When they don’t get what they want from the opposite sex. That is all, everything else they say as the reason is bs

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-03-12T00:37:46+00:00

Misandry: Looking up studies and/or studying history regarding the issues women face on the basis of their sex. For every 1 issue you will find men face on the basis of their sex and caused by women, there are 10 for women on the basis of their sex and caused by men in the same society. For every 1 you disprove, 10 more rise up in their wake. I think misandry comes from being very angry on behalf of women, regardless of whether or not you are that woman or have actually experienced what you are angry about.

Misogyny: Facing (or failing to face) the real world. Men are generally groomed up to learn "happy wife, happy life" or that their problems will be solved by the presence of a this strange "woman" creature. They are then split into two categories: the ones who can obtain the "problem-solving genie" (who then become enraged when she doesn't solve his problems) and the ones who cannot obtain the "problem-solving genie" and become enraged because he feels he is owed one.

Basically, both come from not really learning to get to know people of the opposite sex. But one comes from believing the opposite sex is the causer of problems, and the other from believing the opposite sex is failing their duty of being the solver of problems.

Title	What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misandrist”? What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misogynistic”?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	13
Comments	153
Date	March 11, 2024 8:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bcd289/what_experiences_or_observations_do_you_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-experiences-or-observations-do-you-think.1426360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426360

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