What is more excusable, cheating or beating?

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-07-12T00:59:50+00:00

I personally rather be hit than cheated on but understand why the law doesn’t reflect this.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-12T00:59:17+00:00

Beating is definitely worse imo. I rather a lover than a fighter.

whichbladeN · 2020-07-12T04:49:56+00:00

Clearly every man isn't worried that getting hit by their wife would even hurt the next day.

Whereas women imagine being beat up would bring them within an inch of their lives.

CosmicBioHazard · 2020-07-12T01:28:35+00:00

Any man would much rather his wife hit him than cheat.

But for a woman I'd speculate the other way around. That's just a guess though.

Mimoxs · 2020-07-12T01:40:00+00:00

I wouldn't work on either, I'd leave for both, but I would rather be hit than cheated on

But understanding? I guess cheating. It's more natural for guys

SslimReaperr · 2020-07-12T03:07:19+00:00

I’m really surprised by the answers. You would rather be hit by your man than cheated on?

If I had to choose, I would rather be cheated on because I do not want to be physically abused. If a man ever cheated or hit me I would immediately leave and ghost them right then and there. No need to waste anymore of my time once he shows his true colors.

If a man hit me but begged that he would work on it, go to therapy, never do it again, etc I would just laugh and refuse to speak or see him ever again. Same with cheating, no amount of begging or pleading would make me care.

Wonder-Woman007 · 2020-07-12T04:57:43+00:00

I think it's impossible for me to forgive a partner who beats no matter what the situation is. I am done and out of the relationship no matter what.

However, when it comes to cheating I may walk out too but if I see he is genuinely sorry I may consider giving him a chance provided he takes therapy.

But as I said above no excuse for beating. I maybe able to recover from traumas of a cheating partner but what if physical violence was of the degree thay you actually lost your life. There is no recovery once you are dead.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-07-12T05:39:38+00:00

Neither, after both the trust is gone and theres no coming back from a loss of trust.

HappilyMrs · 2020-07-12T06:41:22+00:00

Female here. Both would be horrid, but on balance cheating would be more excusable. He could cheat for dumb reasons and still treat me well in other ways, but hitting implies a loss of the fundamental protection from harm and a lack of emotional self control that I value.

Also, it would be easier for him to then limit the chances of cheating again by not spending time with or messaging potential affair partners. The risk of repeat beating would be present any time I was near his fists. I would also not trust a husband who beat me not to beat our kids, whereas the cheating wouldn't directly affect them.

I would find it easier to rebuild trust from cheating than beating, but both are almost certainly deal breakers.

nemma88 · 2020-07-12T10:02:54+00:00

I'd work on being cheated on over being beaten.

Because triggering violence on a partner is a much bigger problem IMO than being weak willed. I'm 5'3 and tiny built. I'd rather work on someone who risked hurting me over pleasure seeking than someone who risked killing me over anger issues.

rosephase · 2020-07-12T02:10:11+00:00

I would never stay with someone who hit me. There are ways of cheating that are, for me personally, forgivable.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2020-07-12T01:32:23+00:00

Being physically hurt is better cause u can get over it. While cheating leaves emotional hurt which lasts a while.

GGMcThroway · 2020-07-12T05:32:22+00:00

Cheating (if you're a woman) obviously. The guys here say beating because their wives can't beat them to death with their bare hands. Permanent physical injuries can't be undone. Psychological wounds can at least be dealt with in therapy if you put in the effort.

You can always get a new partner. You only have one body. There's always a chance my partner will leave me. My body never will.

extrachromozomes · 2020-07-12T02:50:15+00:00

Neither?? Either way he’s showing me he does not love or respect me

MerryVegetableGarden · 2020-07-12T05:23:59+00:00

I’d leave in either scenario, but I’d prefer physical blows providing as a sign for an immediate exit than being made a fool out of for months or years.

c_dolly · 2020-07-12T07:51:39+00:00

Cheating, 100%.

I can't imagine seeing a significant other as an option, a respectable human being instead of the piece of trash he really would be if he hit me. I would lose all respect and love for him, I would feel 0 remorse in tearing his life apart, ruining it and treating him like the piece of shit he would be. I can't imagine loving someone like that.

I'd never stay with a cheater either, I'd be repulsed too but nowhere near as much as the other one, I would understand trying to work on a relationship like that. I'd never understand working on a relationship with a physically abusive partner.

cloudydays84 · 2020-07-12T16:29:38+00:00

Rather get cheated on, I understand where the other comments are coming from but getting hit by SO just feels way worse and reveals a lot more about their character that leads to a sense of emotional distress that might be worst (for me atleast) than cheating would.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-07-12T16:37:43+00:00

Both are the end, but you can just walk away from a cheater and stop wasting any emotion on them. If you dont it's on you a bit.

But if someone is punching you even once, they're doing something to you directly and you cant just give them the finger and walk away. So that is worse, that's why its criminal

-Solitude-- · 2020-07-12T16:39:47+00:00

I’d say physical abuse implies personality issues and a lack of respect toward others that repentance and therapy could simply never fully fix. With that in mind, I’d have serious trouble maintaining any extent of romantic feelings toward any woman who would physically attack me, even if she apologized and regretted it after. Cheating, at least, could mean that she found someone else that she was extremely attracted to, and ended up making an “honest” mistake. And while certainly a terrible thing to do, cheating doesn’t imply she has anything against me.

I’d break up with a woman who cheated on me or hit me in a heartbeat in reality. For the purposes of this post, though, where it’s a guaranteed one-time thing and I’d have to pick one or the other to stay with, I’d sooner stay with the woman who cheated on me than with the one who hit me.

Brokerhustle · 2020-07-12T01:34:46+00:00

Woman here.
Unpopular opinion: Rather take a hit than be cheated on. At least I see the hit coming.

CatchPhraze · 2020-07-12T03:46:55+00:00

Cheated on. You can enjoy life while healing emotional wounds. Physical ones are barriers.

I think more men will also agree based on the fact they don't see threat in a woman beating them

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-07-12T08:31:26+00:00

Obviously physical abuse is worse. Its is also a crime. Abusers are terrible people. Cheating is not a crime, and cheater is not necessary a terrible person it just might be indicator that relationships are not linger viable, which is sad but still is not a crime.

acron5n5 · 2020-07-12T08:36:10+00:00

Cheating since it involves no physical violence. But both are pretty harsh.

Gerealtor · 2020-07-12T10:22:48+00:00

I don't like the word excusable because, in terms of a relationship, neither are excusable (although some couples can come back from cheating, but it still needs to be excused/apologized and made up for). But obviously, there's a reason beating is literally illegal, whether in a relationship or not, and cheating isn't.

My rule of thumb is cheating does not, in all cases, have to end in breaking up. Beating, even if only once, even if not that damaging, it's over. No discussion, it's done.

Honestly, the two can't really be compared. It's like saying, what's worse? Withholding sex from your partner or raping them? One is only bad for a romantic relationship, the other is bad for anyone ever.

Coldpinkhearts321 · 2020-07-12T13:00:36+00:00

Id rather be hit personally but I would never want another person to get hit

yasee · 2020-07-12T14:57:43+00:00

Depends heavily on what you mean by "beat". Like a slap or a shove, maybe I'd prefer that to cheating but not if it's a full-on beating

-LocalAlien · 2020-07-13T01:40:21+00:00

If the question is a: serious physical abuse or b: adultery than I would rather be cheated on. I say this as someone who is physically capable to overcome their partner and married. If it would just be “getting hit” I wouldn’t care as much, but if it was as threatening to me as it would be for my wife, it’s scary enough to opt for adultery.

AngryNurse2019 · 2020-07-13T01:52:24+00:00

Cheaters can sometimes repent and change, though not always, of course. Abusers never change, ever. Any apologies or agreeing to therapy is pure manipulation. Abuse is a cycle; it has no end.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-13T03:00:46+00:00

Beating a human being who desperately needs a good beating is noble.

Beating your wife who is half your size because you have anger issues or are a drunk is inexcusable.

Both men and women cheat. Shit happens.

Beating your wife or girlfriend is never acceptable.

Never hit a woman in my life. Wanted to at least three times.

No excuse for it.

Kyogan · 2020-07-13T06:34:12+00:00

It depends, if I was a woman and was a cunt and he beat me for it, then I would take it like a woman. Now if he is just a woman beater and beats me for no reason, then it would be terrible, because that same person is probably cheating on you while beating yo ass. So...

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-07-12T01:42:18+00:00

Rather be cheated on, happens everyday

lilastr · 2020-07-12T00:56:07+00:00

Every married woman should anticipate her husband cheating, but hope he doesn't.

drok007 · 2020-07-12T01:12:32+00:00

Cheating is worse, I’d rather have her hit me.

lilastr · 2020-07-12T01:27:46+00:00

I would rather my wife hit me than cheat on me.

14782176 · 2020-07-12T01:53:48+00:00

This question doesn't work to well if you're a masochist

SaBahRub · 2020-07-12T03:08:28+00:00

Are you kidding? Who thinks beating the shit out of your partner is normal nowdays? Where are you from, OP?

Cheating isn’t necessarily a sign of contempt for another person, but beating definitely is

dylang92 · 2020-07-12T07:50:33+00:00

Cheating, because in that situation a person isn’t getting physically beaten.

Notsonewguy7 · 2020-07-12T13:34:55+00:00

Beating. Violence is the end of a relationship,.

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-07-12T14:17:02+00:00

I’d way rather be hit. I’d think most men would rather be hit. For women it’s a little more complicated because the threat of a bigger stronger man is much more intimidating. Not that any of this has happened with us, but I “play fight” with my LTR and just seeing how easily I can pin her down and stuff... barring her using a weapon (which kinda changes the question as attack with a deadly weapon is a step beyond simply ‘beating’) there’s really only one of us who could truly hurt the other. In a real fight she just couldn’t do a whole lot to me unless I let her, I’d imagine.

ItsTheHardCockLife · 2020-07-12T20:32:01+00:00

While both are OBVIOUSLY terrible

Really? I do not care one bit about cheating but I'm opposed to physical violence so it's an easy decision for me, in fact:

in marriage

I consider actually getting married more foolish than the act of cheating in marriage.

Pretty easy choice for me: I wouldn't get married and consider it foolish, and I have no desire to control another individual's life and what party that individual has sex with, but I don't enjoy getting hit.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-07-12T01:14:00+00:00

Hard to say. On one hand, I'd say that cheating is worse because most people foist the blame onto the other person for their cheating ("You made me do it!") but on the other hand, someone can do the same for beating.

I think that, taking the emotional reasons for doing both, someone might work another person up enough to the point that a beating would be a reasonable reaction, but nothing would really be an appropriate cause for cheating. It's really just a petty form of emotional abuse, but the person could've always just left someone instead of cheating on them.

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A-milli- · 2020-07-12T08:21:18+00:00

None of those

Title	What is more excusable, cheating or beating?
Author	lilastr
Upvotes	8
Comments	188
Date	July 12, 2020 12:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hplfyf/what_is_more_excusable_cheating_or_beating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-more-excusable-cheating-or-beating.714126 https://theredarchive.com/post/714126

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