What is the appropriate body count?

wtknight · 2020-07-26T17:27:41+00:00

what is the appropriate, rational number for you that doesn’t fall into extremes?

It's not really about N count as much as it is about attitude towards casual sex towards me. If she had on average one long term relationship a year that included sex and seemed like she was honestly trying to find the right guy rather than just fooling around with guys through casual sex, FWB relationships, or short-term monogamy, then I would not be bothered by this.

Also, if the only reason men are repulsed by high n count women is her chances of infidelity later in life, what if you KNEW as a matter of fact that high n count woman you’re about to commit to will never cheat? That she will be extremely loyal?

It doesn't have as much to do with a number for me and concern about her loyalty. If she liked casual sex in the past, then we have different attitudes and a different philosophy towards sex and human contact in general, and I'm not going to be into her. I realize that my view is unorthodox and in the minority compared to most of the men here, but I do consider myself an LTR person, and that's who your question is aimed towards.

jackquickfingers · 2020-07-26T18:29:15+00:00

ideal number - 0

tolerable range 1-5

what bothers me about n-count isn't what the ppd ppl go on about, I dont think sexual partners indicates a form of usage. The problem lies that it indicates traits of that person that I would not desire in a long term partner - sexual adventurousness, extroversion, poor self-control and long-term planning, high sex needs and experience. The ideal partner does not want frequent sex and wants vanilla sex. It comes down to compatibility

waxedmintfloss · 2020-07-26T20:05:03+00:00

Men care because they’re hardwired with mate guarding paranoia. The men who are consciously concerned about this a lot also act on other paranoias. I’m not interested in that type of man, and I don’t care about his count. An ex of mine had a high count and liked high count women as well. His logic was that they are more sexual, and if she chooses him having had variety then it’s a confidence boost in his abilities.

What I do care about is whether he has ever cheated, whether he has a wandering eye and is flirtatious and addicted to affirmation from different women. This type of man usually reveals himself early on in little things like whether he keeps his eyes on you or is checking out other women in front of you. I haven’t found a correlation to n-count, sometimes it’s the guys who don’t get much play who crave that contact and validation most. On the other hand if someone knows they can play the field but chooses to be with me, i don’t have to worry that a bit of female attention will have him acting crazy.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-07-26T20:39:46+00:00

21F in an ltr with 29M.

I know for a fact his count is much higher than mine, I would estimate anything from 10-25. Doesn't bother me as I think it's quite normal to have 1-3 sexual partners a year. Anything in a healthy range Is fine, as long as they're mentally stable I.e not a nympho.

Men here often claim that women look down on men with low n count, do you personally agree with

Yes, it's a typical insult for men.

It's common because it's a sensitive subject for them, it hits a nerve. Same way being called a slag is the go to insult for women.

Why do you think men are obsessed with woman’s body count? Would you be willing to put up with a man who is insecure about your n count or exes even if you were loyal and promised

Because they think of women as "giving" sex to men, if somethings abundant it loses its value thus the guys feel "cheap" because she gave it to others rendering him less special. (But honestly most ppl hate to think of their partner with anyone but themselves and this goes both ways)

Would you be willing to put up with a man who is insecure about your n count or exes even if you were loyal and promised loyalty

No not for a second, I would never be with someone who isn't compatible with me. I like sex and have had a partner before my current so, if he doesn't like that it would be a massive red flag as at my age most ppl with a healthy sex drive and gd social skills have had sex.

I find the fetishisation of virgins truly disgusting.

LittyKitsune · 2020-07-26T18:17:14+00:00

Men here often claim that women look down on men with low n count, do you personally agree with that?

In my Christian friend group virgin men are a basic default so no.

In the secular group men who can't satisfy their partners are "looked down on," at least in terms of dating/relationships. Virgins are overrepresented in this yes, but a guy with an n of 10 who still can't figure it out is just as bad, if not worse.

What is your appropriate n count for men for LTR/marriage? What is the maximum and the minimum you’d go for? Please include ages.

This is hard. I'd prefer a virgin around my age (21). For a max let's say 2 or 3.

The higher his N goes than that the longer I would need to vet him. If he wants a less rigid girl he's free to find one.

Why do you think men are obsessed with woman’s body count?

I assume you're asking about secular men, since the religious ones are obvious. You'll have to ask the seculars since I still don't get it.

thetruthishere_ · 2020-07-26T23:37:54+00:00

I dont ask, I want to know who he is today and not every nook and cranny about his past. That said, I know some of it tells you who they are now but I dont need Every single detail or how many hes had sex with.

We all have a past. Did your past make you grow as a person or become worse?

Do I want to date the man known as the town bike womanizer, no.

flamingoinghome · 2020-07-26T18:02:51+00:00

Woman, late 20s.

I'd rather him not be a virgin (or if he is, for reasons that don't render him incompatible with me), but other than that I care more about who and why than how many.
I don't think "men" are obsessed. I think a small subculture of men are, for a variety of reasons. A man who was fixated on my sexual history would be a dealbreaker, not least because I wouldn't be able to shake the suspicion that this was his fetish and he was not being honest about it.

Punk_Pegasus · 2020-07-27T00:51:48+00:00

I'm a mid 20 woman bi woman and I don't care about 'bodycount' for either men or women. The could sleep with 1000 people for all I care. As long as they are still free, a good person i have a lot in common with, and aren't selfish i don't care i will date them. I hate how much people think it matters, it doesn't. Its just a excuse to slutshame. It has no bearing on them cheating, being a shit person does

llechwr · 2020-07-27T06:55:52+00:00

M/28/n=0

Around 5, but life isnt black and white so ill listen to your side of the story if you go over, although 8 is kinda pushing it. Virginity isnt important to me, its a trap, it dosnt guarantee loyalty. Ive heard stories from guys whos high school sweetheart broke up with them because they couldnt stop thinking what if.

As for your second question, a high n count to me is a sign of impulsive behavior which I dont find desirable. Did you know these guys before you slept with them? Were you worried about your safety? Did you use protection? Did they manipulate/rape you? Was there any massive age discrepancies that borders on grooming?

I dont want a partner thats easily manipulated or impulsive. I dont want to lay awake at night worrying about you doing something stupid like getting in a car with your friend whos drinking and driving because its "just down the road".

TheJim66 · 2020-07-26T17:28:11+00:00

For monogamous commitment:

0

For anything else:

Who gives a shit ♾ for all I care.

It's not about the studies for me. I'd feel the same even if the studies literally said the exact opposite. (And they very well might someday)

c_dolly · 2020-07-26T18:10:06+00:00

I don't really care, and never really cared. I've dated a virgin before, and besides my current partner, I never knew the n count of my other boyfriends. I still don't care and would only care if the guy can't maintain a long term relationship.

That's what I always cared about, how many LTRs he had, how they ended, why and how he speaks of his exes. At my age (close to 30), if a man never had a 2-3 years long relationship but plenty of sexual experiences, I'd be wary of him. I don't think I would date someone who is a virgin at my age for the same reason but would date someone with a n of 1-3.

No man ever talked to me about my n count, I talked about it with my boyfriend because of this sub and he told me he never cared enough to ask but would have been insecure at the beginning of our relationship if my n was higher than his. He blames his upbringing and his culture for the feeling of doubt and insecurity. I wouldn't put up with a man who showed insecurity about anything that makes me "me", n count included.

Cleanit_up_Jannies · 2020-07-26T23:43:11+00:00

what is the appropriate, rational number that doesnt fall into extremes?

None. The ideal is 0 or 1 (1 being the husband but having sex with her before marrying her) followed by 3. 2 is actually worse than the higher end approximating 10. The reality is thougy that your average woman is too promiscuous, so the average really isnt worth much, 2 which is close to the extreme is more risky than the average, so really you can argue that 3 to 4 or 5 would be the "logical" cutoff but this isnt really meant to be a logical answer. It's irrational and subjective.

include age and count

Its irrelevant so long as shes not too old. I wont commit to a non extreme because average promiscuity in an age of casual sex and promiscuity means her attitudes towards sex are casual rather than meaningful. For me its 0 n count or 0 long term commitment.

what if you were 100% sure she would never cheat

Dont care. Ive had one night stands, short term relationships and long term relationships. The sex that stood out to me the most was when i slept with a virgin. Ive never been cheated on, yet the virgin girl reigns supreme because of how she treated sex. Rather than something casual, it was something serious, emotionally important and incredibly bonding. With other girls it was casual, fun and exciting, but it lacked that real passion, that sense of importance that makes the extreme worth searching for.

if no it makes me believe its out of ego, pride and self esteem

Even if we assume this is true without any other factor being considered, that seriously affects you when it comes to getting a man who is serious about an LTR. Would you want to be with a man who due to your sexual past has a shattered ego, a lack of pride and shit self esteem? So as a result of promiscuity, men are unsatisfied and women have unsatisfactory choices for the long run or cheap sex with quality men who wont commit. All ltr minded people except the extremes lose, so rationally the extreme is really the only logical winning move to play.

if it's true isnt it reasonable that women dont wanna date those insecure men?

Its reasonable but if thats true and most women are promiscuous then what choice in men do you have left? Part of the problem is women dont want virgin men, so they encourage the promiscuity that hurts their own prospects by diminishing a womans value and increasing the amount of men who are unsatisfactory

NupNupNupNupYep · 2020-07-27T04:46:32+00:00

I’m 41 and have given up on pursuing anything long term. All the attractive available women in my age bracket have n-counts north of 20, and who wants to commit to that?

It’s not just the risk of cheating, it’s the fact that she’s had bio waste from twenty humans, inferior to me, pumped into her system. That shit is just floating there bonded to her DNA. I might throw a bit more into the mix, but I ain’t committing to her.

Who wants kids that look like an amalgam of her college’s football team?

Mimoxs · 2020-07-26T17:38:16+00:00

Female

1) absolutely not I have a huge virgin boy kink. I really want to fuck a virgin boy one day. I don't look down on them at all. For marriage I'd accept 0-2 right now. As my own increases I'd accept more. Like if it were to become 3, I'd accept 1-3. Maximum maybe 5, but only in late 20s.

2) they don't want to be cheated on, I assume. They also do not want to be compared to a past partner. This is the same reason I do not want high count men.

People tend to forget high n count men are awful too.

NarniaFox · 2020-07-26T18:12:19+00:00

F23. From zero to my n-count at the moment plus minus 3-4. As it's one now, I'd prefer a guy with 0-5 n-count. I think it's totally okay for a guy to have zero or low n-count especially if he's young or is into LTRs.
Some are insecure, some are disgusted. Others are into statistics and want to reduce their risks. I wouldn't put up with a guy who was obsessed or heavily insecure and doubted my past or loyalty. I don't see any point in dating such guy, he most likely won't change and his jealousy and insecurities will escalate with time.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-07-26T18:49:33+00:00

Men here often claim that women look down on men with low n count, do you personally agree with that?

Yes but their low n count is the result of women looking down on them. For other reasons like being too childish, being awkward around women, being creepy, etc.

What is your appropriate n count for men for LTR/marriage?

I'm F-early 20's. Quality matters more. A man with 3 ONS and 0 LTRs is less attractive than a man with 2 LTRs and a dozen ONS.

Why do you think men are obsessed with woman’s body count?

Insecurity. Any answer men give besides insecurity is an attempt to attack the woman, calling her "damaged goods" or her value is "diminished"...and these answers are rooted in insecurity. They try to make women feel small so that they can feel bigger. Nothing more to it than that.

Would you be willing to put up with a man who is insecure about your n count or exes even if you were loyal and promised loyalty?

There's nothing wrong with a man who feels insecure. There is something wrong with a man who mistreats his partner or talks down to her out of insecurity. I would not put up with a man who treats me poorly for any reason.

In other words, is there any worth to take men’s opinions seriously if the motivation was nothing but insecurity/ego-related?

In a relationship, your opinion should only matters if you express it in a healthy and respectful way.

Hoopy223 · 2020-07-26T19:00:26+00:00

I guess if they have only been in long term relationships vs the women who have a new man every six months to a year etc. but then I have broken that rule and dated red flags before too.

Second part I don’t really know what to say, you cannot know the future.

goneaway2thewind · 2020-07-26T20:00:23+00:00

How about be yourself, live your truth and accept the love you deserve from your decisions. There is no point to suppress your inner hoe if you are one because that's going to manifest into resentment or be triggered later down the line. Be yourself so potential partners understand you better. If you only want one person or to fuck the entire NHL that should be up to you, just be ready for the consequences of whatever you do.

darksoldierk · 2020-07-26T21:27:11+00:00

It depends on the age. I mean, I imagine 3 by 25 makes sense, 5 by 30. I just see it as "is her n-count what it is because she was giving it out cheap, or is it what it is because it wasn't cheap, but the relationships didn't work out". Having 3 failed relationships by 25 makes sense, everyone is new at relationships, and things don't work out. By 30, it should go down.

It's not so much about infidelity for me, it's just about how she values herself, and how, more specifically, how she thinks I should value her. If she slept with anything that breathed at 21, why should I now take her out on a date to get her to sleep with me. She's now older, past her prime, how can she sit there and try to tell me that the price for sex with her has gone up?]

The fact is, that YOU might view this as ego, pride or self-esteem, and sure, a part of it is that, but that's not the only part. Women like this are not quality partners, they won't be quality partners. It shows that they have a skewed view of "fair" and a skewed view of how to value themselves. If you are a slut, and I marry you, you knew you were a slut, I knew you were a slut, that is who you are, and that is who I married. If you are a slut, and you decide to not be a slut with me, then you are misrepresenting yourself. A person who misrepresents themselves to their "partner" is rarely a good partner, and I sure as hell don't want a partner like that. Are you also going to misrepresent your loans? You gunna tell me that you took out those loans to pay for your mother's medical care, when in reality you took it out to travel around the world? These things matter, the type of person you are, the decision you make at every age, they matter. You can't just say "well I was young and stupid" and expect everyone to just ignore what you did. You were an adult when you made those decisions, you are an adult now, and your responsibility as an adult is to accept the consequences of your decisions. If you refuse to do that by misrepresenting yourself to a potential partner, then you are not a quality partner, and you never will be.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-07-26T21:46:39+00:00

I only care about casual sex number.

If she had serious relationships before me, I dont care about number.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2020-07-27T06:47:40+00:00

Male 35, n=3

Question 1: Ideal would be the same number as me. It's not impossible if she's been LTR -minded and her past relationships lasted a while. But it seems rarer and rarer, and of course we're not getting any younger. And considering how easy sex is to obtain for women, it's safer to expect most women I come across to have a higher number than me. So let's say no more than 8? It's challenging cause I'm just typing here, but faced with a person with my brain hopped up on love chemicals, I might change my tune. Which leads to. . .

Question 2: I did date a very high n-count woman, despite feeling a little bit of discomfort that I tried to ignore. She cheated - a textbook case of what guys on here say about high-count, unfortunately. That experience, going out on the limb and getting burned - makes me less likely to contemplate a high-count woman again. So it's hard to mentally place myself in a place to answer your question, but I like to think that yes, if I somehow magically knew 100% she wouldn't cheat, yeah, I'd give her a chance.

If no, it makes me believe this is only issue of ego, pride and self-esteem

For some men it is indeed ego/pride/self-esteem. But there's another one: contamination. For guys that feel a strong sense of disgust, it can be a visceral reaction, something I'd chalk up to built-in biological mate guarding wiring(in which case we can't blame men for it), or deep-seated social programming(in which case we blame the previous generation?). A guy doesn't want to be with a woman he finds "dirty" or "used up," and that may be a feeling they can't help.

Some just want to feel special and don't want to be just another number. They wanna feel like they're a big deal to their partner. (Maybe you'd lump that one under self-esteem, but I'm not sure)

And some guys when considering the high n-count woman, feel not insecure but jealous at her opportunity, wishing they could obtain sex so easily.

As far as insecurity, well that can go both ways - anyone can feel insecure, and for various reasons. I do think it is the job of the partner to do at least little bit of reassuring, but only so much. The insecure one has to ultimately/eventually accept/trust what their partner says. In this case, the man needs to decide to either not to get involved in the first place, or commit to getting over that insecurity in time.

Mobrowncheeks · 2020-07-27T13:28:27+00:00

24 male. My own n count is 23. For me, I don’t care about how much sex women have in general, but when it comes to commiting to a woman, it has to be a women who has good ideas about sex. A woman who has similar ideas about sex as what I’m looking for usually has less then 10 partners so it works out. Also, when a commited relationship, the woman I’m with has to reflect on me positively to the world, I’ve been too many places where guys I’m around are pointing out girls walking with their men and talking about all the crazy things they themselves or their friends did with the girls. And then making fun of the men who are with them now. I don’t want that to be me

GennyX · 2020-07-26T17:48:09+00:00

I don’t care what a man’s number is. It doesn’t interest me. As long as he’s a good person and std free, it doesn’t matter.

Most men aren’t concerned about a woman’s number either. At least, that’s been my experience.

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-07-26T17:26:40+00:00

I don't know a hard-cap. Probably 0-6 is ideal. I'm a 22M. Beyond 6 i'd likely have some serious questions, 4+ I'd have a few questions, 3 and under is all the same to me. I don't care.
No, I still wouldn't want to be with someone above a certain limit. No, it's not insecurity. Why does my preference have to come from insecurity? Am I insecure because I like hot women more than average women too?

SeemedGood · 2020-07-26T18:21:21+00:00

Best is 0 prior, 1 or maybe 2 prior is acceptable. Beyond that, no bid. Age independent.
Women with high n-counts are different than women with low n-counts, and it’s not all about potential cheating.

My wife had a prior n of 1 when we married. Having been married, she now wishes her prior n were 0.

TheJim66 · 2020-07-26T17:32:40+00:00

25m

The lower the better. I think a normal number is 4-6 but would prefer even lower. At 10 it starts to become a major issue and I would maybe put up with a 15 if she was an absolute unicorn otherwise. Never done it though.

I would probably be stricter with it but even the numbers I gave are hard to find in slut country.

Men don't want to invest in sluts because it's innately disgusting. The fact that it's also a bad idea from a logical standpoimt is just a bonus

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-07-26T18:25:53+00:00

Man here: no more than 5 or 6.

SwaySh0t · 2020-07-27T00:08:56+00:00

28M and after doing some serious back tracking I’m at n count of 33. Had a hoe phase during my rockstar early 20’s. I personally don’t give af about my partner n count unless it’s higher then mine(assuming we’re the same age ish)

lilastr · 2020-07-27T02:13:28+00:00

[deleted]

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2020-07-27T09:51:30+00:00

1/yr starting at 18

tossa445 · 2020-07-27T13:07:07+00:00

I am confused by the last bit? Are you discouraging the use of data to support an opinion?

Fluffedbread · 2020-07-27T14:03:17+00:00

24yr/ N=0 I prefer a partner with N count of 0 so I can see her as my equal. Also she must agree to be child free. I have met/encountered attractive women in my life so far but they won't give me any attention and the one who did was manipulative.

I don't care if my ideas are wrong, I must look out for my own interests because it is ultimately me, who will suffer if i choose wrong.

liarliarpantsonfirex · 2020-07-27T14:12:01+00:00

19 year old girl here (0 n) I’m currently thinking about never being with anyone (The internet is scaring me away from men lmao) but if I were to get into a relationship that would eventually lead to marriage..

1- I would either go for

A- a guy my age whom I’m very attracted to (tall, masculine, knows what he’s doing and not a druggie/alcoholic (I’m not either), protective of me, thinks I’m beautiful, wants to pay for me) has 0-2 max partners before me; I wouldn’t care if he didn’t make a lot money at the time we start the relationship since he’d probably be a university student like me. I wouldn’t have sex with him until after we’re married though just so I don’t have a body on me if it doesn’t end up working out after some time.

OR

B- a man 15-20 years older than me (10 n count max but no kids from previous relationships) who makes a lot of money. Ideally this would me a mutual arrangement; He’d marry me and pay for everything, have a nice house, car, the kids would have a good future (he would be happy to provide because he’s wont be broke) and in exchange I’d give him my youth and virginity, (after he marry’s me of course 😋)This man i wouldn’t be that attracted to ( he might be on the shorter side, losing his hair, has fertility/potency issues) but I’ll happily overlook that and eventually fall in love with him if he takes care of me and treats me like a princess. Id love a masculine man who is protective of me and knows a lot about a lot so eventually there would an attraction. He’d have to be healthy thought (read NOT OVERWEIGHT) I wouldn’t want him to die on me prematurely as I want children too (as opposed to what many people think of age gap relationships).

Basically I understand it’s a give and take for both ends.

2- I guess it’s entrenched into their biology. Some might be really obsessed with it because they don’t want to be compared to other Guys, and feel embarrassed/ashamed for not having a bigger penis/being better in bed. Doesn’t matter to me as long as I get my piece of the cake (commitment, marriage, provided for) ironically these subreddits are making it easier for me to look out and be vigilant of PUAs/sex predators/redpill folk who have nothing to give so win win 🙄😂

2020-07-27T18:36:08+00:00

When I really think about this it makes me realize I don’t think there’s anyone out there who can meet my standards. I’m not okay with being alone but I can accept it

HatezWomenzCuzIncelz · 2020-07-27T22:41:24+00:00

Why would men want to pay for something that other men got for free?

Imagine that you're going to the apple store to buy an ipad. There's two guys in front of you. When the first guy gets to the counter the cashier says, "Wow! You're really hot! You don't have to pay for this ipad! It's free since you're so cute!" The guys is ecstatic and leaves. The second guy approaches the counter with his money out and the cashier says, "Wow! You're a REAL man! You're so hot! You can have this ipad for free!" The man is ecstatic and runs off with his new ipad. Now when you approach the counter you're thinking you might get a free ipad! The cashiers says to you, "You're not very attractive, so you have to pay 1 million dollars for this ipad with a broken screen and no charger. You can fix it if you want."

Someone might say that it's irrelevant what the other guys paid for the ipad, as long as you are happy with your purchase. But no one is happy paying 1 million dollars for an ipad with a broken screen and no charger to begin with. And to add insult to injury? Other guys are getting free iPads out the ass. You're just not attractive enough to warrant that, so you have to pay for an overpriced ipad because that's the only way to get an ipad. Plenty of guys are going to walk away from the bargaining table because they are not appreciated as a customer. They're going to take their ipad money and go and buy a boat.

gopher_glitz · 2020-07-27T23:30:04+00:00

When people keep asking this....

qwertyoppy · 2020-07-30T00:30:12+00:00

less than 10 but more than 5. over 30 less that 20 more than 10

geyejoe7 · 2020-07-30T10:15:34+00:00

It depends on age, and the amount of relationships she's had.

Example, 23 year old woman.

Woman no.1:

Had 3 serious, about 1 year relationships that ended due to incompatibility

I don't mind at all.

Woman no.2:

Went to a club since the age of 21, had 3 one night stands

I mine a whole lot.

It's the context that matters.

arianne_cele · 2020-07-30T11:35:33+00:00

41F

I don't and have never given AF about my partner's "n count". I didn't in my 20s, I don't in my 40s. I've actually never even bothered to ask because I think it is none of my business.
Insecurity. Conservative and outdated views about people and sex. Hypocrisy in the case of those who don't apply the same standard to men. And I wouldn't waste my time with someone who didn't trust me 100%; that would just be a certain road to unhappiness for the both of us.

Evening-Explanation1 · 2020-08-02T18:43:18+00:00

I won't ask them and I think it's pointless to answer. Since nowadays if you say 0 that can be bad since you are "inexperienced". If you say anything above 10, then that's too promiscuous. And anything from 3-6, the guy would think you are lying since it's a "go- to" range. Not saying this is how it is, but from life experience.

Just because someone has had many sexual partners in the past doesn't really tell me anything about how they are in the present. Could have had many sexual partners but be an amazing and loyal person. Not going to hold that over them. It's all about what who you are comfortable accepting into your life. But it irks me when people are labelling someone as a specific type of person due to their sexual experiences.

I'd rather know if those past partners was someone I know personally and if the person is still in contact with their ex.

Infammo · 2020-07-26T17:42:01+00:00

After age twenty, roughly one person per year is acceptable.

Also, if the only reason men are repulsed by high n count women is her chances of infidelity later in life, what if you KNEW as a matter of fact that high n count woman you’re about to commit to will never cheat? That she will be extremely loyal?

Magically knowing that she wouldn't cheat wouldn't change my aversion. Cheating is just a symptom of the disease. Women who sleep around kill their ability to pair bond with men and/or don't attach emotional significance to physical intimacy in relationships. This makes them inadequate partners.

2020-07-26T17:54:35+00:00

0 for women until marriage.

CosmicBioHazard · 2020-07-26T18:20:28+00:00

I Often see the extremes being discussed here, aka virgins are the best LTR material OR women with 100+ n count will be cat ladies and die alone. But what is the appropriate, rational number for you that doesn’t fall into extremes?

I mean, if you held a gun to my head, then failing 0, there’s a few factors to account for. First of all, I’d be worried about paternity and couldn’t trust that exchange of bodily fluids wouldn’t have some adverse effect; so, with the stipulation that any possibility that fluid transfer occurred either due to lack of or despite protection is a no-go, actually I wouldn’t want to go too low unless 0 was an option. That girl with the 1 probably still has good, vivid memories of the guy, and I really don’t want the nightmare that would come with that. That’s worse than a former sex worker.

Please include your and her age too. (Ex: it would be appropriate if she had n count of around 5 at 25, while I have n count of 10 at 29. And so on)

I’m 26 and N 1, that’s not OK for me, I want it at 0. Maybe we’ll perfect memory erasure soon so I can start over, that’d be nice.

Also, if the only reason men are repulsed by high n count women is her chances of infidelity later in life, what if you KNEW as a matter of fact that high n count woman you’re about to commit to will never cheat? That she will be extremely loyal?

Cheating is a problem, to me, because then the victim is no longer their partners’ only. If she’s already not, then knowing she won’t cheat doesn’t exactly make me feel any better.

If no, it makes me believe this is only issue of ego, pride and self-esteem, aka “other men got it for me and I need to marry,” not “women who fucked around won’t be quality partners.

I can’t think of anything more intimate than sex, so I don’t know what experience it is that I’m sharing that makes me ‘the world to her’ if she’s had the same experience elsewhere.

IF so, do you think it’s reasonable that women don’t want to deal with someone’s sexual insecurity?

She shouldn’t have to deal with it because people like me shouldn’t be committing to her.

Rollie-Fingers · 2020-07-26T18:44:00+00:00

I’m a 24M with an n count of 16.

Have no regrets. I don’t care how many she has. Won’t even bother to ask.

hotdancer1138 · 2020-07-26T23:31:13+00:00

What is so hard to understand for you purple pillers? A woman's commodity is sex, a man's is commitment. If a man can get lots of sex, he's high value. If a woman can get lots of commitment she's high value. Reverse scenarios, and they are low value.

A woman being used for sex by multiple men is harmful to mental health and bonding ability. A man being used for sex by multiple women is a good indicator that he's nearing the top.

Less than 5
She obviously can't get commitment, is therefore low value, and now has issues with pair bonding. She apparently has flaws others saw before me, otherwise they would have committed.

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wowthrway · 2020-07-26T22:47:40+00:00

For me, 1 is okay. 2 is fine. 3 is pushing it and 4 is a No. I believe anything higher than 3 is someone that isn’t worth my time. Why? Because it tells me you’re not serious about relationships and you’re not someone that sticks with things. Also that if any of those numbers were relationships, I’d have to wonder why they ended. Do you have terrible judgment in who you let into your life? Were any of those guys just looking for hookups? Were YOU looking for hookups? Do I have to worry about diseases? Do you have mental trauma from those relationships? Am I signing up for drama? And finally, are you worth my time and investment if I’m looking for kids and a white picket fence? I’ve only been with 1 person and I plan on keeping it that way unless it’s a serious LTR.
I can never KNOW for sure. I can only pick my battles and bargain with the risks. I’d rather be safe and pick the woman without a high n count and save myself the drama and despair. If a woman doesn’t want to deal with sexual insecurity, it’s fine. Men don’t have to deal with woman’s sexual insecurity either. If she did anal and a gangbang with a hookup but wouldn’t try it with me, I’ll just call her insecure.

Title	What is the appropriate body count?
Author	lilastr
Upvotes	16
Comments	187
Date	July 26, 2020 5:18 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hyapb7/what_is_the_appropriate_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-appropriate-body-count.717771 https://theredarchive.com/post/717771

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