When does millennial advice/experience become irrelevant to younger generations?

TotalTravesty · 2024-05-21T17:04:17+00:00

Just because some advice is out of touch doesn’t mean all advice is out of touch. Context and understanding of the present reality matters. Old people can still be aware of AI resume crawlers and offer valid career advice, just like millennials and Gen-X’ers who have been out of the dating scene can still offer valid dating advice just by being aware of human nature and what’s going on in the world.

But most importantly: young people, since time immemorial, have always dismissed good, relevant advice because of the age of the messenger. You know what happens after that? They do the same stupid shit the messenger did when they were young, learn the hard way, and grow up to perpetuate the cycle from the other end. So I wouldn’t take the dismissiveness personally. Especially online. Online lonely boys are a special kind of hard-headed.

bluestjuice · 2024-05-21T17:00:55+00:00

This is a great and interesting question! That will probably not be dealt with with curiosity and consideration in the responses, haha.

It is true that experience and wisdom, which can develop with age, are useful tools to use in analyzing and interpreting the world around us. Older people often have perspective and understanding that younger people lack, especially on subjects like human nature, the constant nature of change, and the merit of various ways of being and philosophical points of view.

It’s also true that the world is always changing and the circumstances of any given moment are not identical to those of another. Some older people adapt to changing circumstances and some do not, or leave those circumstances behind entirely. Older people (especially those who are no longer familiar with the specific circumstance being discussed) should have humility when engaging in these discussions and trust that young people are describing the particular challenges and struggles of their moment as faithfully as possible.

All of which is to say — I don’t think Millennial advice about dating is irrelevant exactly, but it’s more likely to be useful for analyzing human behavior and less likely for specifics about current norms of approach, dating practices, etc. A lot depends on whether the person in question is still inhabiting the dating world, too.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-05-21T17:19:03+00:00

…punani

So how old are you, Steven Segal?

goo_wak_jai · 2024-05-22T03:40:27+00:00

Mlillenial advice became irrelevant pretty much around the time when Facebook became mainstream. Like 2007 onwards.

It wasn't apparent to those of us that were still living out our early to mid-20's back then but the immediate generation before us was going to overshadow us in every respect in a very short time compared with prior generations with the advent and spread of the Internet being highly accessible and user-friendly but more importantly--affordable--for a large swath of the general population.

Gen X paved the way for that reality. So props to that generation. But Millennials were some of the earliest pioneers of the beginning of the digital era--only to be overshadowed by Gen Z in under a decade.

Gen Xer's and Boomers love to differentiate Old Millennials and Young Millennials--but there's no such thing as 'young' Millennials. Young Millenials, to me, is basically an old Gen Zoomer--the very same way that an old Millennial is basically a young Gen Xer. But neither side of the generational divide wants to acknowledge their existence of this 'in-between' crowd because we fall on the cusp of both sides of the generational divide. Old enough to remember what it was like during the 'truly' analog days yet young enough to embrace the digital age and speed of evolution of the current technologies of today with ease.

recursive_qbasic · 2024-05-22T12:10:54+00:00

Once it totally stops working for you, it is irrelevant to you.

However, as far as Millenials go, some of us are still in the dating market. So if it works for us, it still works for us. I still don't bother with dating apps, I really don't have the time or interest to just swipe on app when I could be out talking to people instead. So I just do what works for me. If it works it works.

This is the thing with advice, it is just advice, not set in stone rules. Try it, don't try it. Find what works, dismiss what dosn't. Add your own spice.

Unusual_Implement_87 · 2024-05-22T17:58:50+00:00

Reddit is either filled with liars or such extreme 1% of the 1% of outliers that you should take whatever you read here with a grain of salt.

For example on reddit you will constantly see people talking about how showing emotions as a man is a good thing but in reality crying in front of your partner as a man is a very big no no. If the redditors are not lying and are being genuine, the chance a guy will run into a women who has no problem with men crying in real life is so astronomically small.

What I find is most people give absolutely horrible advice, the vast majority of people are extremely idealist and give bluepill/redpill advice that have no material basis, and often times give contradictory advice ("join hobbies and try to be friends with her first" "Don't just pretend to be a friend to get into her pants, don't joining clubs and hobbies just to meet women"

itsaboutpowerrr · 2024-05-21T17:32:47+00:00

There are different groups of people who don't understand the struggles of 80% of young men in dating.

1- women : no matter how attractive or unattractive she is . She never gets it .

Try to see the world from a poor starving African kid's point of view. Your brain isn't powerful enough to simulate every aspect and every complexity of that situation.You can't.

2- tall / top 20% men : their behavior reminds me of bill gates quote :

If you born poor it isn't your fault

If you die poor it is your fault

MF had super rich parents and said this .

People who have it easy underestimate the amount of energy , money , and mental resiliency a normal person should have to get 1/100 of what they got effortlessly.

3- boomers : there is a massive and rapid change in the world thanks to technology. They think people don't change as fast as technology. They do. There was a narrow river between two Genders . Now its an ocean. They don't get it.

CloudsTasteGeometric · 2024-05-21T18:01:58+00:00

Interesting question. Although the generational gap is still pretty minute, it is there.

I think a lot of it has to do with nuts-and-bolts socialization. Millennials and Gen Z communicate and build connections differently from one another (even if they do so more similarly than, to say, Boomers.) Specifically, Millennials are the last generation to grow up without smartphones and social media. Sure social media and smart phones started to become pretty common once Millennials were of dating age (late HS/Undergrad), but the core formative years were significantly different in terms of socialization.

What are the implications of this? Well, I'd posit the following:

Millennial advice on where to meet guys/girls isn't always applicable. Millennials aren't as keen on cold approaches as older generations, but Gen Z doesn't do cold approaches at all. If a Millennial instructs at Gen Z to chat up a girl in class or in a group social setting they may not realize how that move isn't really seen as acceptable to a Gen Z and would set them up for ostracization in certain contexts.
Millennial advice on relationship parity will sound odd to Gen Z. While Millennials are "traditionally" progressive (if that makes any sense) - Gen Z are more social libertarians and are generally more open to certain modes of conservative thought, at least as they pertain to personal life. Millennials might assume that Gen Z should date 50/50, start with coffee dates, not go too hard on gifts, etc. But they wouldn't realize that Gen Z, the generation of tradwife revivalism (for better or worse...mostly worse), face a very cut-throat dating market where they need to demonstrate value to a potential partner. Where a Millennial couple may feature two people splitting the effort to survive in a harsh economy, a Gen Z person either needs to impress a potential partner by being able to carry more of the burden than the other, or simply remain single.
Millennial advice on mobile communication would sound odd to Gen Z as well. Phone calls, for example, are a big one. Millennials advocate for calling their partners or dates on the phone, often saying that if you can't ask someone out in person, you must do so over the phone, because doing so over text would be gutless and rude. Gen Z, on the other hand, really don't do phone calls in that same way. Gen Z is also far more comfortable "sliding into someone's DMs" than Millennials, who would never even recommend that as a viable path to getting a date, thinking that it is invasive and weird.

Again, interesting question.

Jello_Vivid · 2024-05-21T20:58:19+00:00

The dating game is changing so fast that's the issue like with only fans and the promotion of using guys on dating apps to sell nudes wasn't so big when tinder first started so the way we use dating apps is starting to change and the dynamics around it so advice from even a couple of years ago is redundant.

One-County5409 · 2024-05-21T19:38:42+00:00

Any dating advice is useless from older people for gen-z.

When they grew up, the competition was local chad. When you grow up, the competition is any chad in a 100km radius.

BeneficialEstate8219 · 2024-05-21T19:35:40+00:00

If they got married during Obamas second term or earlier, their experience is pretty much worthless

These people were married before iPhones even had an App Store. Pretty much everyone my age or younger has grown up using phones from preteen and even earlier nowadays. Not only that but so much has changed like the economy, social interactions after COVID, social media in general, etc

People are more than willing to acknowledge the world has pretty drastically changed in the past 20yrs in pretty much every regard, but for some reason old people think dating has stayed the same as to when they were using beepers/cds, you could get a decent car for 800, rent for 400, and you walk into a bar and see zero people staring at a screen unless it’s a game on a tv

They likely don’t know what soft/hard launching is

Weekly-Vacation-6929 · 2024-05-21T23:13:27+00:00

dating online really took off in the early-mid 2010s especially with the tinder, hinge and bumble releases. Even if they participated in OLD or other apps, the avenues where people met their spouses was still mainly outside of apps. You could decide to not use your phone to meet people and still manage to date easily.

tldr if you fit in these categories, your advice is null to gen z:

-anyone over 35.

-anyone over 35 who dated and/or met their spouse outside of an app

-anyone who dated and/or met their spouse on an app before the mid 2010s

obviousredflag · 2024-05-21T17:28:18+00:00

I think you should at least be still dating a relevant age group, to have advice to share that is in large parts helpful to younger people.

CraftyCooler · 2024-05-21T18:38:21+00:00

Tbh i think that Gen-Z differs too much from previous generations and i am not sure if they can be advised. It is not possible to date without the will to have interaction with other people - not necessary in romantic context, but just to talk for fun, do something together in the real world. Gen-Z is not talking, one may argue that they are texting, but for some reason their texting doesn't seem to be satisfying their emotional needs, it is not real bonding - it is prosthetic, device is a barrier, it is not something that keeps us close. They feel lonely and they know it yet their culture removed the means of creating long lasting emotional connections with other people. So even if we tell them to 'go out' - there is nobody out there anyway.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-05-21T21:45:18+00:00

the passage of time

Whilst ‘Father Time always wins’ is applicable to most facets of life, there are some factors, that are timeless. Discerning one from the other, isn’t limited to one generation.

In fact, it’s beneficial to gain as many perspectives as possible. As it broadens, and better informs one’s world view. Which is key, in accurately discerning what factors are timelessly applicable. From those which are not.

Godspeed and good luck!

BoomTheBear86 · 2024-05-22T13:35:27+00:00

Depends upon the means of rejection.

We discontinue boomer advice because “just stop buying coffees” literally won’t allow you to afford a house. The data is there! Same for the CEO handshake approach. Workplaces now have dedicated people-filtering departments with specific requirements so the idea you can chum up to the CEO and get an exception hire just isn’t how it works for any business which isn’t tiny.

Now when Z reject millennial advice, the “data” they use to reject it is kinda iffy because their “database” is largely derived from social media reels etc which isn’t necessarily reflective of real life.

“What do you mean just get out of the house and talk to people? Have you not seen? All these 304s care about is money and 6 6 6!” Is an observation usually not made from life, but from matters before even trying.

That’s another difference. When millennials rejected boomer advice, it stemmed from trying and failing. It’s not like they were 14-15 and said “Jesus I won’t bother giving up my coffee because what’s the point? Housing will be fucked.”

Gen Z increasingly seems to reject notions before they really try. You only need to look here when you see posters saying they’re “giving up” after maybe 2/3 years of even attempting dating. They’ve “seen enough” within 3 years apparently at the age of 20 to conclude this (alongside the social media) blissfully unaware that the millennials talking to them by and large didn’t find their “person” until they were mid 20s at youngest by and large.

So a big part of the rejection I see it at this point is a lack of will to try it outright. Give it time though and then yes I can imagine the millennial advice will be outright useless like boomer advice when society adapts, but I don’t think that time is yet and it’s too soon to judge.

aslfingerspell · 2024-05-22T23:38:41+00:00

"Don't talk about religion or politics."

Nowadays, people want an ideological comrade as much as a romantic partner. Alternatively, toxic politics makes someone who "shares our values" more important and harder to look past deep disagreements.

"Join clubs."

Especially after the pandemic started, in-person clubs and sports are devastated in terms of gender ratio, age gaps, availability (i.e. singles vs couples), and overall attendance.

Dr_Click_Click_Boom · 2024-05-22T23:58:07+00:00

When they turn 45 and the next crop of teenagers who know everything and have all the solutions to life's problems appear on the scene.

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Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-05-21T18:18:13+00:00

i dont know. do you make you life choices based on other people's experiences and advice?

DankuTwo · 2024-05-21T19:36:21+00:00

Honestly, it depends. I'm an old millennial and while I can give Gen Z some advice, in other areas I already have to bow out.

I wouldn't tell Gen Z how to date, for example. I have no idea what it's like being a teen/early 20s these days (despite interacting closely with many Gen Z, due to my job).

eli_ashe · 2024-05-22T02:18:51+00:00

i suspect that some of the stuff doesn't really change actually. circumstance of it all might, popularity of something might, but not its value and usefulness.

i mean to say that something that worked a hundred years ago might actually still work out well these days, even with all the changes. this kind of stuff is but aesthetics after all, 'dinner and movie' gonna be fine if you wear it well.

there is perhaps a bit of an error in thinking that what is trendy to do is necessarily also the only real option. like folks looking for that neat hook up spot, meet market, cool app, neato style of dress or mode of approach.

fwiw, kids, ye wee ones, date outside your expectations, you will almost certainly be pleasantly surprised and tend to have a more fulfilling experience. have safer sex, but play around a while, try dating people you don't think you'd appreciate, wtf do you know after all, if you haven't bothered to try yet.

timeless dating advice.

VWGUYWV · 2024-05-22T17:21:17+00:00

What you missed is that you should be taking everything Gen Xers like me say as gospel.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-05-21T17:05:29+00:00

Like with every generation, it will be as technology and culture advance. I give us about 10-15 years before out methods are outdated.

7186997326 · 2024-05-21T17:45:32+00:00

It's already irrelevant, Gen Z don't use the dating apps at the rate millennials did. I think when the world looks back decades from now, Gen Y will be seen as a laughing stock on many fronts.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-22T10:59:05+00:00

So, let's play some history here.

According to the internet, the first ever company was founded in Japan in 578 AD. The resume or CV was apparently invented by Da Vinci in 1482. Tinder was invented in 2012.

Do you know how long humans have been having sex? Tip: much longer than any of these inventions. As a matter of fact, according to the internet sex as a means of reproduction appeared on Earth around 2 billion years ago. Since human evolution can be tracked back to the earliest life forms on Earth, it means that humans have been having sex for as long as the species has existed and for as long as the species we evolved from existed and so on and so forth going back to the first amoebas.

But somehow, in the last 10 years sex and mating totally changed? Only arrogant youngsters can make that claim unironically.

superlurkage · 2024-05-21T18:45:04+00:00

Because every generation is totally different, okay?! We’re all unique and novel humans

apresonly · 2024-05-21T21:32:57+00:00

that would mean when millennial women talk about how men treat us, gen z men are unable to correct us.

Title	When does millennial advice/experience become irrelevant to younger generations?
Author	emu_lator
Upvotes	31
Comments	70
Date	May 21, 2024 4:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cxckg3/when_does_millennial_adviceexperience_become/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-does-millennial-adviceexperience-become.1519150 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519150

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