Why do men and women view n count extremely differently?

HonestyOverCivility · 2019-01-15T14:05:49+00:00

Clever answer: A key that can open any lock is a master key—a lock that can be opened by any key is a terrible lock

Evolutionary Biology Answer:

Male Perspective on women: Prior to the invention of DNA paternity testing a man really had no assurance that a child was his. His best bet was to reproduce with a woman who was chaste and didn’t associate with too many men outside her family
Male Perspective on himself: Sleeping with more women = more offspring = greater evolutionary success
Female Perspective on men: a man who has or is sleeping with lots of women has clear evidence that he is exceptionally desirable aka social validate, therefore in practice women rarely fault men for having high n counts
Female Perspective on herself: Sleeping with an alpha man = higher quality offspring = greater evolutionary success

Evolutionarily speaking, For women it’s quality over quantity, whereas for men it’s just the opposite

CainPrice · 2019-01-15T14:18:03+00:00

Slutty women piss off low-count guys because it's an unpleasant mirror.

If your girlfriend spent the last 10 years meeting guys in bars and online and having one-night hookups and short-term sex-only relationships, then she meets you and only wants to date for real and isn't interested in a sex-only relationship, it feels like you're not good enough to take her home on the first date. Lots of other guys took her home on the first date. She showed up to meet other guys who expressly told her they were just looking for a hookup because she was down with that. She did all kinds of things with other guys who did nothing more than send her a message asking to meet and buy her a drink. Then, you're in the picture and she hides her sex history from you and only wants romantic sex, not hookup sex. And you're supposed to believe that after 10 years of casual sex, she's suddenly and magically changed and has completely rewired how she views and engages in sex and relationships, and it's all about her and what she's looking for at the time and has nothing to do with you not meeting the standards for a sex-only relationship.

If you're a guy and you've had sex with 50 women, that's not a big deal to most women you'll date, because they've either done the same shit or could have easily done the same shit, so a partner who's had lots of sex just kind of feels more normal to women.

SkookumTree · 2019-01-15T11:52:52+00:00

It's not often that chaste, virgin women want men that've fucked half the town. Sluts get with sluts; the more chaste/sedate get with each other.

Truedemocracy4 · 2019-01-15T12:57:43+00:00

It's because of how vastly different it is in terms of difficulty for each gender to be a whore. A key that works on every lock is a great key, a lock that works on every key is a terrible lock.

Women are the gatekeepers to sex. If you look at a population of high n count individuals they both will have engaged in riskier behavior that likely makes them bad LTRs, but the men will almost always be good looking, smooth, in shape, dress well, etc while the women are just bad decision makers

Whodunnit88 · 2019-01-15T13:09:09+00:00

I'm put off by it because those women with the high n count got to have their fun and i didn't. if i had a similar n-count i would not care.

Cho_Assmilk · 2019-01-15T11:49:17+00:00

Biologically it probably stems from a sense of ownership/potential to cuck.

Socially it probably stems from how easy it is for a girl to be a slut and how you can't make a hoe a housewife.

CamoWoobie10 · 2019-01-15T13:30:58+00:00

Most women want a guy who is valuable. A guy who fucks a lot of women, is proof that he is valuable to women. Women see virgin men with the same amount of disgust as men see slutty women.

Men want to feel valuable. A woman with a low N-count makes a guy feel like he "won" by being chosen by her. When you know how easy it is for a woman to get dick, and you know shes only taken a few, or even none, it makes you feel alpha knowing you were chosen. If she's already fucked a ton of guys, it doesnt feel validating. You get the feeling of "oh.. she does that with everyone". Probably similar to the feeling a woman gets if she knows a guy is hitting on a bunch of girls just to find a hole to fuck and then he hits on her. It doesnt feel special.

Also evolutionarily, a low/no n-count woman is a good way to know you're the father. Women are always sure that the child is genetically theres, so they dont have to worry about being cucked.

NullOverLoad · 2019-01-15T11:48:50+00:00

What does it matter why?

Thats like me saying "Why are women put off by me putting shit on my face".

I know that putting shit on my face will lower my chances of an LTR, so I dont do it.

If I choose to do it, then I have to accept the consequences.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-01-15T12:28:54+00:00

Women don't want to raise a man child. Men don't want to get ruined emotionally and financially.

BigMarvelChickenman · 2019-01-15T13:04:30+00:00

Social. I would get jealous and feel like a loser because I would be the won footing the bill while Jamal and Chad swiped right on Tinder and spitroasted her. (It happens alot especially in American frats and college sports groups)

I don't want to spend time with a girl who has had FWB or one night stands. She expects more of you while she offers you the same the she offered the FWB. She can spend gifts and hangout and makeout with her college FWB, but as soon as she is done with college she starts complaining about being taken out on dates and that she wants to be treated as a princess.

My problem is that girls lie by omission and try to appear conservative to get a husband/boyfriend and most girls rationalize this which freaks me out. If she lies bout this small thing, what stops her from going further and further and lying about the paternity of the father.

Every girl I know with a high N count the husband is either clueless or is just happy to date a pretty girl.

I am deathly afraid of being a guy at my own wedding and my wife's former fwb and fb are there, getting drunk at the reception and reminiscing about their good times with her. I went to a wedding that was just like that and all the guy's were acting like giggly children and the wife was super red because her family had know idea why a bunch of 6ft white men were acting so wierd and laughing.

They later went to shake his hand and the poor guy just that those were his wife's old friend and the wife had to scurry him away. Which leads to believe most women don't marry for love, but for money. The guy got some nice inheritance from his great grandpa's ranch. Good money.

daveofmars · 2019-01-15T14:26:52+00:00

Because men and women are different, obviously.

A man with a high N count has shown some degree of skill. Plus, biologically speaking, it's genetically advantageous for a man to spread his seed.

A high N count women has shown her lack of inhibition. She only has one womb, so there's no biological benefit to sleeping with different men. She does it because he's a hedonist and/or lacks inhibition, and those are red flags that indicate a man shouldn't invest in her.

In the end, it's biological.

BiggerDthanYou · 2019-01-15T17:32:18+00:00

They don't. Your post is based on a faulty premise.

You've got to consider that the men here aren't average/typical/normal even though their immense solipsism and lack of theory of mind prevents them from realizing this.

The willingness of both genders to date someone with a promiscuous past follows the same pattern.

And

The aim of this study was to explore how people’s sexual history affects their attractiveness. Using an Internet survey, 188 participants rated their willingness to engage in a relationship with a hypothetical individual with a specified number of past sexual partners, ranging from 0 to 60+. The effect of past partner number was very large. Average willingness ratings initially rose as past partner number rose, but then fell dramatically. For short-term relationships, men were more willing than women to get involved (although the difference was not large). For long-term relationships, in contrast, there was virtually no sex difference. Thus, contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history. Finally, participants with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (high SO participants) were more tolerant than low SO participants of prospective mates with higher numbers of past sexual partners but were also less tolerant of prospective mates with low numbers of past sexual partners.

Slightly more women than men think that someones sexual history matters

For 27 percent of women a partner’s sexual history has complete and total bearing on whether that person will make a good partner. At 21 percent, men aren’t too far behind women in this thinking. (...) According to the survey, 29 percent of women and 21 percent of men would be “put off” if someone they're dating had a high “number.”

Despite common claims from the men here 33% of men don't even want to date virgins
Attractive people have more permissive sexual attitudes

Physically attractive people are more open-minded towards many behaviors relating to sexuality, according to a study published in Social Science Quarterly. The findings indicate that having more opportunities to engage in certain behaviors can influence one’s ethical standards.

“These results support the hypothesis that greater opportunity to indulge in a behavior — as good looks typically provide for sexual activities — reduces the sense of moral stigma surrounding that activity,” Urbatsch said in his study.

Romantic partners showed a significant level of matching in the prior number of intercourse partners. Further, among the married couples, a higher discrepancy between men's and women's number of previous intercourse partners was related to lower levels of love, satisfaction, and commitment in the relationship.

Studs usually end up dating sluts even though the low-value men of the manosphere claim that no man would ever date a slut.

That's just their solipsism though, because they can't even imagine how confident men think.

Studs don't see sluts as bad, because they are just like "duh women like sex".

Ultramegasaurus · 2019-01-15T14:55:19+00:00

Because women are pickier and thus preselection by other women is much more important to them, hence why they value high n-count men more.

Willow-girl · 2019-01-15T13:13:45+00:00

Female promiscuity was traditionally discouraged because the rich and powerful men who have always run society didn't want to support a bunch of little bastards. Men barely want to support their own children, let alone other people's! So it was important to keep a lid on women's sexuality, and make sure they only bred with men who were able and willing to take care of the resulting children.

This also gave high-status men leverage over the younger or less powerful men in the community. Brides were only doled out to men who behaved in socially-acceptable ways -- ways that upheld the existing power structure.

Women bought into the notion, too, because they generally want the fathers of their children to stick around and care for them. Promiscuous women are a threat to the pussy cartel! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-01-15T18:33:10+00:00

I am a woman and i am put off by men with a high n count. Once you go above like 4-6, you’re entering gross territory.

xKalisto · 2019-01-15T13:28:27+00:00

Women want wide variety of options to pick the best mate.

Men want low competition to ensure that the progeny is theirs.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-01-15T14:37:10+00:00

Because for hundreds of thousands of years while we were evolving there was no way for a man to know if the baby in the womans belly was his. So promiscuous woman were avoided. Our lizard brain still runs this schema, its dug into the psyche of most men.

They are fun to have sex with for men. However MOST of us dont want a wife and mother that has had miles of cock stuffed into her and a sex video on pornhub.com. We just don't want that. It feels gross, like buying somone elses toothbrush.

A woman can CHOOSE to be promiscuous and disqualify herself from being a wife and mother just like I can CHOOSE to become an opioid addict and disqualify myself from being a good candidate for a husband and father.

Sex is just the only way for a woman to destroy herself.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-01-15T23:48:41+00:00

Maybe it's a mix of both I think it's societal though, since it's becoming more acceptable for people to wish to remain silent about their sexual histories And men are shamed for asking

Women actually do care Not in terms of raw numbers though, but in behaviour If a guy is trying to get with her and she finds out hes been doing the same with more than one of her friends Then theyd collectively find him off-putting

I do think if it's between two women only though there may be some who'd choose to compete over a guy But i never have and probably never will And I also have my own preference for low n-count men

shonenhikada · 2019-01-16T08:57:16+00:00

Women view a man's worth by whether other women want him. This is why married men who have wedding rings are given more attention by women. It's why many girls tend to have the same exes in their social circle.

Thus, if a man who can have a high n count then he must be good because sex is not easy for men to get and for him to do that it is an accomplishment. While a woman really just has to exist and be open to get a high n count, and so her having it in no way signal any sort of value. In fact, it shows decrease value because a man has no reason to commit to her if the offer of exclusive sex with her has been squandered because other men have already accessed her.

sublimemongrel · 2019-01-15T13:12:32+00:00

There are more recent studies showing women don’t want to date sluts either, but realistically IME they tend to pair up together. Similar lifestyles/values and all that. Moreover, especially if you’re attractive it doesn’t seem to effect your dating prospects all that greatly.

blackedoutfast · 2019-01-15T23:45:20+00:00

slutty women are damaged goods. fuck them but don't relationship them

exit_sandman · 2019-01-15T13:11:47+00:00

I'd say biological

Eastuss · 2019-01-15T12:37:38+00:00

Last time I checked, nobody wanted partners with a lot higher N count.

diffdedbed · 2019-01-15T13:13:33+00:00

Women can't be cuckolded.

That's it.

The rest are all psychologicaly evolved reasons to help prevent cuckolding.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-01-15T16:02:11+00:00

because males objectify women. she isnt a person with sexuality, she is an object. if she , an object, had sex with males before him, his majesty, she loses value in his cursed eyes.

women, on the the hand, do not see males like that which is why they still have relationships with them and spawn their babies.

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PieceBringer · 2019-01-15T13:51:22+00:00

I don't think I would care if she was honest or If I knew it from the beginning, the ones that act like they are so above it and then I find out they were hoeing their whole lives those are the ones who deeply disgust me.

Bruchibre · 2019-01-17T11:34:37+00:00

It’s biological. It’s hard wired into men’s brain.

Here4thebeer3232 · 2019-01-15T12:10:09+00:00

A few reasons, none if them biological. Previous societal attitudes where women are expected to be pure and chaste, so any deviation from that is treated as a perversion. Iti

You could also toss on risk factors such as STDs. Risks of negative mental issues. And I do think jealousy plays a part

statusincorporated · 2019-01-15T19:56:14+00:00

Because masculinity is fragile and sexual virility is mostly a male gender norm.

A woman with less than 10 dicks may not have had a guy who knew what he was doing or did it better than you or had a bigger dick.

A woman with 50? 500? 1000? For sure she did. Most men can't handle this fact and/or aren't cocky enough to step up to the plate with the full-on confidence that they are one in a thousand.

So...to wit...

F E A R

wobbleelbbow · 2019-01-15T22:56:56+00:00

Biological. Mostly. A key and a lock is a good analogy too to understand this.

A man who can easily bed any woman is an alpha male who is attractive to women. A woman who spreads her legs for many men isn't an alpha female. She the worse kind of female possible. The lowest. Because spreading legs doesn't require her to have any redeeming qualities. For a man it does. He has to be hot, have good game etc. In short he has to have some skill. While woman just needs to exist. Men game. Women accept or reject. If you accept too much you are a slut

longacidrain · 2019-01-15T13:00:54+00:00

Most men I've met who care about n-count are either really self conscious or think it means higher chance of cheating. It's also something I learned as a child. Women are supposed to be pure if they are worth anything and that women who are sexually active are dirty, whores, easy, will cheat ect. But socially acceptable for men to fuck as much as they want. It's slowly changing socially for women to be okay having more sex but not enough to change the views our parents have passed down. Overall it's all just judgment for a woman being sexually expressive. Personally I would prefer people going on a person by person basis not rejecting someone soely on their n count but you can do whatever ya want.

Title	Why do men and women view n count extremely differently?
Author	inco2018
Upvotes	5
Comments	203
Date	January 15, 2019 11:43 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ag7nrp/why_do_men_and_women_view_n_count_extremely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-and-women-view-n-count-extremely.257812 https://theredarchive.com/post/257812

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