Why do ordinary respectable men visit prostitutes?

1473591 · 2018-01-28T01:52:59+00:00

What motivates men to visit prostitutes? Why do they do to prostitutes even when they can find wives or girlfriends, and why do so many men with wives and...

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Sterile, condomed and timed sex sounds like sex with the average woman. Prostitution is a business like any other. The girls themselves want the "good customers" to come back. I mean, we all know that these girls are taking a huge risk by doing what they do, but if you are a "good customer", they will do everything to make sure that you feel like it's genuine so that you come back.

As far as attraction, well, after having sex with the woman a few times, I lose attraction for her. I don't know why men rave about sex so much because every guy I have spoken to has lost attraction to their girlfriends and wives sexually after a few months. Sex just becomes something to fulfill a need that the guy has. It's a chore. And that's with all women. Then there are the women where you have to convince them or constantly nag them. Are you kidding me? If you are asking whether I would rather ask for sex every night and get rejected on most nights from a woman that I'm not attracted to or if I would rather obtain assured sex without being rejected from a woman that I am attracted to and who, at least, is experienced in pretending, then I'm going to go with option 2 even if option 1 is more "genuine" from her. At the end of the day, "genuine" sex from a person who you are just fucking to fulfill a need is worse than disingenuous sex that is fun.

It's like being at a strip club. The good ones are the ones where the girls look like they are having fun. Of course, no one has fun squatting naked on stage and having dozens of strangers staring at their crotch, we all know that, but good strippers make you think that she does enjoy it. And that's the business, prostitutes run a business, and if you go for good prostitutes, she'll make you forget that it's a business transaction.

[–]kandyapplezslow down lil baby you going pacino3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link

That's most men's experience with sex. It's rare to find a woman as fun in bed and as genuine as you want her to be. Women are at first. Maybe the first 6 months to a year? After that, it's the "fuck, you've asked me twice this week, lets just get it over with" look. But even in that early part of the relationship, women aren't as good at sex as prostitutes.

Believe it or not, men's experiences with women towards sex isn't all that different with women's experience. The only difference is that we almost always orgasm, which makes it alright. Although, I've had to fake a couple times myself.

Your comment makes it sound like it's just my experience, like my situation is different. The real pity is that women today are incapable of providing the men they care about consistent quality sex.

Edit: Although, now that I think about it, I think that if sex wasn't so readily available to women, women would use prostitutes too. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've had married women or women with boyfriends want sex. It's just not effortless for men, so they pay for it. So, I guess the real pity is that we, as people, are incapable of sufficiently meeting the needs of the people we love.

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You want men to jump through hoops to keep women interested? What, you want me to clean her house for her? Give her a foot massage? I thought women say that they don't use sex as a weapon anymore.

Men have aaaaabbbsolutely no problem demanding women jump through all sorts of hoops to be and remain sexually attractive to them. It's work. I can't imagine why you are guffawing at a simple footrub. You think all you have to do is heave yourself over and a woman is just supposed to want to fuck you? No wonder they feel annoyed, frustrated, and like it's a chore after awhile. You are painfully naive. Makes me think you're just looking for excuses to see a prostitute.

EDIT: I just realized this may be an attitude that is shared by a lot of men, I just don't know where the fuck you all get off thinking you can just act a lazy, unattractive, whiny ass and women are just supposed to keep spreading our legs when you feel like it. You want more sex? Then be more attractive.

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I just don't know where the fuck you all get off thinking you can just act a lazy, unattractive, whiny ass and women are just supposed to keep spreading our legs when you feel like it

Hmm. On a normal day, I work 10-12 hours, and for 4 months a year, I work 12-16 hours at one of the most reputable firms in one of the most desired cities in the world. In the time that I am not working, I'm finishing a professional designation, managing two rental properties and 3 active personal investment accounts. I go to the gym, I cook, I clean, I take care of my father during the weekend, I juggle a social life and a romantic life and in whatever time I have left, I study music and french. If you call my life "lazy", then I'd like to know what you do in your life that makes you not lazy.

And you know what? I don't expect much from women. I don't need her to cook or to clean. I don't want her to be a my emotional sponge, don't need her to listen to my problems or help me pay the bills. And you know what? I don't even need her to give me a foot message. All I need from her is to be good company and show some enthusiasm during sex for half an hour a day, after that, she can show as little enthusiasm as she wants. If she is incapable of showing enthusiasm, I go to someone who can. If she is incapable of being good company, I surround myself by people other than her and just have sex with her. If she is incapable of doing either, I find someone else.

You think all you have to do is heave yourself over and a woman is just supposed to want to fuck you?

And what, you think that all you have to do is breath in order to get a guy making 2 times the average household income before 30, with a six pack, who listens to you bitch constantly because Nancy in accounting ate your salad, cooks for you, cleans for you, hell, maybe even wipe your ass, I don't know, you seem like the type of women who expects these kinds of things. You don't want to cook, you don't want to clean, you don't want to fuck, you don't want to work out, you don't want to approach, so tell me, what is it that makes women so valuable? You think I care about you having a job? That's the bare minimum definition of being a human being. You think I care that you are "honest, caring, adventurous" blah blah blah. Every woman in the world will describe herself that way. All a woman has to offer to a man like me is sex and good company.

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I was going to say this guy sounds like he just conflates sex almost with misery, Kandyapplez.

I personally prefer to make sex pure and simple fun. I don't regard getting my libido taken care of as a chore. I really don't get where his idea of what average sex is like for men comes from. Maybe I'm just a more inherrently fun person or maybe he's just not that great at making a girl want to give him her best?

I take a fun, relaxed, enjoyable approach to sex. If with a realtionship, I start out with cuddles and kisses, talking her into what sounds like a good time, letting things build easily for a long time before the sex actually starts. If with a pro, I'll make a 2hr book or so and bring wine, make it a bit of a party / hot date with a foregone conclusion. I've found treating getting dirty as more of a fun thing than a chore works wonders no matter the context you're doing it in.

Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but I don't mind repeat sex with the same girl, paid or not, even over the course of years. I find that more practice and familiarity leads to better sex as we learn what to do and just become so much more comfortable.

Darksoldierk reminds me of some guys on the internet who seem to treat sex almost like some kind of strange competition to continuously have youngest, hottest, tightest, most, x-est girls. I personally don't get it and think it looks like an utterly shitty attitude to hold about sex.

If you're obsessed about minmaxing the experience, you're going to cost yourself so much more in lost enjoyment and relaxation trying to leverage the tiniest iotas of pleasure out of each encounter that it quits being fun. His posts tell me that much. He also doesn't want experienced girls who may really be good at it. And he considers having a libido a chore. Odds are he considers sex somewhat of a bad thing and doesn't reciprocate much in his performance for girls. I actually feel kinda sorry for him.

Good sex is sex that makes you smile, even if the girl wasn't a 10/10 beauty, even if she wasn't the best bang ever, even if it wasn't electric, even if you didn't cum.

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We're talking about professions, and marriage is not a profession. Honor: "Deserving of respect or high regard."

Respect is earned.

I said nothing about ethics. In fact, you seem determined to put words in my mouth. Nowhere did I say that prostitution is unethical. I said it's not HONORABLE, in that it isn't a profession that people typically respect or hold in high regard.

Well, they would benefit from dropping their blinkers, especially the men. It clearly is more ethical than marriage, and hence honorable.

Tell me honestly, with a straight face, that you admire prostitutes and hold them in high regard. Tell me you'd be happy to marry a prostitute or have your daughter become one. It's honorable according to you, yes?

Now, why would I lower the ethical value of a prostitute by marrying her? Seems rather contrived to not have a common understanding of the termination fees or conditions.

If I had a daughter, her life would be a lot more profitable as a married woman, than as a prostitute.

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Why are you talking about ethics? Ethics is completely different than honor.

You insist on shifting the goal posts.

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Apparently all these people who are telling me that it's an honorable profession.

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I do wonder about that because no one says human women should be horny once a month, the general idea is that all humans should be horny all the time, having sex every day if possible. Why is it that women aren't wired to want to have sex only when they ovulate?

I hope you're not eating because I'm going to go into gory details. When a woman ovulates she produces a massive dollop of clear thick lube that originates god knows where but falls into the vagina. It actually looks like commercial lube because it's perfectly clear like water. That seems to be designed to facilitate sex. It seems like sex any other day of the month should suck in comparison. But why are we having sex every day?

What's even weirder is that hormonal contraceptives suppress ovulation so you don't get that one day of special sex lubricant and whatever other effects happening to prepare the body for sex, so we're just having non-natural sex all the time. Or maybe we evolved to be sexual deviants who get off on non-natural sex all the time as a co-effect of some other evolution feature.

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What's even weirder is that hormonal contraceptives suppress ovulation so you don't get that one day of special sex lubricant and whatever other effects happening to prepare the body for sex, so we're just having non-natural sex all the time. Or maybe we evolved to be sexual deviants who get off on non-natural sex all the time as a co-effect of some other evolution feature.

What I got from this paragraph is that sex when you are not ovulating is "non natural sex". Having sex on every/any other day makes one a sexual deviant. I disagree.

I don't want to upset you. You seem like an intelligent person so i am just trying to be thurough and cover all bases so your reason for not responding is not that you could not understand or follow what I am saying.

You thinking I am a jerk or having no response yet to my arguments are both fine with me. I am just very guarded about educated people thinking just because of their education they are better/more intelligent.

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Because its easy and no hassle and less headaches.

I know a "friend" err.. a friend ahem, who's a good looking guy (relatively), earns good money, has had several women in the past and actually just got married early last year... he visited expensive brothels maybe once a month for years at least... sometimes once a week. He had the money to dispose and wanted easy sex where he didnt have to go waste time and try. After work, he drove to the place, selected his choice and got what he wanted... hassle free.

Anyone with money and strong sexual drive has had prostitutes... because most of the time these people with money are busy with work as well. Its a transaction in the end of the day.. instead of you jerking yourself off... might as well spend a couple of hundred dollars that you consider minor and get a woman to help you out.

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Lol, in most modern marriages both the wife and husband are working.

There's a reason that women generally insist on men making more money than them to be eligible marriage partners.

A prostitute sees many men and isn't MONOGAMOUS

I don't see any difference between that and a wife.

There are no CHILDREN involved.

Could be.

There is no LOYALTY involved.

Still not really any difference here.

You dont LIVE together.

I think guys live with sugar babies sometimes now, so...

You dont SHARE all your finances and assets.

I don't see how that is supposed to make marriage appealing.

You dont HELP each other

Are you still talking about prostitutes? Because that applies to wives as well.

The family, formed by marriage, is the basic unit of civilization.

Marriage is an exchange of resources for sex. Prostitution is an exchange of resources for sex. At their basic level, they are the same thing. I have more respect for prostitutes than most women, though, because at least prostitutes acknowledge what they are and what relationships between men and women are, whereas most women do not.

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I kind of get it...I think? Even though he didn't really explain it further. I don't know if this has to do with religious upbringing or not, but the thought of degrading and doing really shameful things to the future mother of my children is kind of off putting due to the massive respect and esteem that I hold for her as a person. It fills me with self disgust and I know that's a bit of an issue since I need to see her a sexual person that might enjoy those things. In a weird way I want to protect her from my own sexual urges because I personally don't think they are healthy (cognitive dissonance I guess?). I could never do to her what I did with one night stands. I believe this might be a factor when married well-off men visits "professionals". It's selfish and I no way chivalrous, but I think that's why.

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Let me spell out why I see prostitutes.

I like sex. Scratch that, I LOVE sex!
The most beautiful women I have ever done it with have been sex workers.
I'm not sexy -- short, balding, face full of scars...
Sex my way on demand with a woman of my choice.
It meets my needs for intimacy and sex in ways that wanking just can't.
I can try anything with them; they won't laugh, refuse, etc... (I'm vanilla)
I find them interesting as people.
I find it more ethical to see a sex worker than to manipulate a girl for sex.
I work 60+ hours a week and can't give enough time or energy to a girlfriend.
Sex workers are as cheap or expensive as you like; I ain't rich!
They are SO much less drama -- pick one, contact, screen, make date, go.
No bullshit games, no bullshit morning after phase, no bullshit in general.
Know more about good sex than nearly any civilian woman.
I get treated like how I imagine a genuinely desireable guy gets treated.
No drama comes back my way.
Any race, any age, any taste, any time, any place.
When girls wouldn't see me, sex workers would.
When I really needed emotional support, sex workers provided it.
I like having a sexy fun dirty little secret tucked away that I enjoy discretely.
I see nothing wrong with a fair exchange of money for pleasure.

[–]MrPerfidy 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (117 children) | Copy Link

[–]Scatrereal feminist4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (114 children) | Copy Link

fuckin gross people, not respectable.

Curious what makes them gross? Men with high-income, long-hour jobs, (stock brokers, lawyers, entrepreneurs) are respectable people right? Many of these men don't have the desire or the time to manage a girlfriend or even a fwb.

but that they keep it a secret suggests that with respectability comes shame and with shame there is a recognition of failing and contemptibility in the act

Would you say the same thing about gays 50 years ago? Seeing prostitutes could affect your reputation and career. Also, it's illegal in many parts of the world. They don't keep it a secret due to shame. They keep it a secret because people with irrational beliefs like you judge them for it. It's not shameful to see a prostitute, as long as you treat them with respect I don't see a problem with it.

[–]MrPerfidy 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (113 children) | Copy Link

Curious what makes them gross? Men with high-income, long-hour jobs, (stock brokers, lawyers, entrepreneurs) are respectable people right? Many of these men don't have the desire or the time to manage a girlfriend or even a fwb.<

Then they are failing completely and utterly and are probably still acting out mommy's fantasies for her special little man.

I should have maybe made it more clear when I say that I move in many circles and classes and immigrant communities, I spend no time with people that you are describing. Not that I do not have such friends, but they never do anything fun, so I dont really know what they are up to socially.

All of them have kids and mates though so that would file them under the slimy hypocrite category.

Would you say the same thing about gays 50 years ago? <

If they were paying people to fuck them I would, probably. We arent talking about people sneaking off to engage in victimless behavior, we are talking about people sneaking around so as to profiteer from capitalist extortion.

Seeing prostitutes could affect your reputation and career. Also, it's illegal in many parts of the world. They don't keep it a secret due to shame. They keep it a secret because people with irrational beliefs like you judge them for it. It's not shameful to see a prostitute, as long as you treat them with respect I don't see a problem with it.<

I am a criminal and my people know this; a lot of my relationships are built on that fact/organized around black market relationships, so people already implicitly trust in my discretion regarding their reputations and public persona .

By, "they are not respectable," I mean, they are married men with children who pay mexican immigrants in different ghettoes $20 to suck their dicks, or, they are scummy drug addicts and professional welfare milkers, or they are misogynists, or they have a great many neglected bastard children. Often many characterizations fit one man. Often they are shit-eating franchise owners who engage in detestable and indefensible business practices. They are liars, cheats, general scum in all human endeavor.

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[–]Scatrereal feminist0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (106 children) | Copy Link

Well they are failing according to your appraisal of their need for intimacy, and according to their actions, which in your scenario says that even though they want something, they organize their lives so as to prevent attainment of it except in little bandaid doses to stave off the system failure that would result from total lack.

You shouldn't live your life based on what you sometimes want. Anyways, you're always paying for intimacy or sex in other ways. Time is much more valuable than money to many people.

I'm not here to babble some economic debate with you. Ever since there was the concept of property, there has been prostitution. I'm sure you think the mailman also is a slave because he wouldn't do what he does without the money involved. I'm not sure what alternative to capitalism you're trying to get at, because all alternatives that have been tried have failed.

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well I do, but I also imagine the satisfaction of cannibalizing people who talk like you do, and in order to do that in a context where other people would laugh with empty bowls outstretched, I'd have to dedicate most of my time to exterminating the super-predators that threatened our territory.

So I'd do that shit, and if I weren't mauled to death (the vulgar posers today talk about male propensity for high-risk behavior) and when I came home, and I saw you anywhere near a woman, me and some dudes that just killed a monster would cook you up right, and the delicious soft flesh of your sad offspring also, and people would generally laugh with cruel teeth at the notion, and laugh at the consequent belches.

By me I mean like, my idea of any actual virile homo sapien beast man to ennoble our otherwise rather contemptible human heritage.

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Haha yes, this is totally a proven aspect of chimp behaviour. Monkeys would never hurt another monkey. <

no the proven part is that when they observe their troop awarded x amount, and they themselves get (X-Y) amount, that they are angered, and recognize the injustice.

So here we are, a million years beyond their own development, a million years into pondering justice with fuckin evolved neurological hardware- very obviously then, a property of homo sapiens is, "figure out how to acquire justice for yourself." Since chimps do it from their bellies, with rage and triggers, and we spent a million years on reason an all.

What kind of dumb question is that? Because there are limited resources<

but resources, in human origin context, were not exploitable except by cooperative effort. No single dude just went out among the fuckin Jurassic epoch sized crocodiles and fuckin yoshi level moa and shit and was like, "ayn Rand and shit!" Multigenerational squads of families tied together from way back peopled the earth.

and we value our own lives more than the lives of others. Why should I care about other people who contribute nothing to me?<

You are still talking in your capitalist character though, we are talking original human context. Just fuckin smelling like a homo sapien somewhere on your map, in space that you weren't occupying, was a contribution.

Did you take too much lsd or something?z<

Once or twice probably, but more often, just the right amount. Mosh pits on acid for example reveal the very obvious "communist" nature of homo sapiens.

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[–]MrPerfidy1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Another property is called greed<

a much older property that we share with jellyfish. Add a billion years of neurological complexity, the closest offshoot being a chimp with I-Want-Justice hardware.

Unless, of course, that homo sapien wanted to kill you or hurt you in some way. Maybe eat you<

obviously atavistm Mr Perfidy would be content with raping you and watching with a dignified gravity as your mother fetched his water in gourds, but your continued antisocial insolence and threat to the troop's welfare makes the souping of your bones a desirable trajectory to the youngins watching and listening to this exchange around the fire.

I wonder what ecomic system allowed you to drop lsd at an affordable price and party, instead of frantically hunt and gather to survive.<

the same one that first scientifically destroyed my species' natural social organizational inclination toward psychedelics and dancing

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I don't understand how people even make this argument, about just seeing girls as pieces of meat.

Honestly dude. I could understand if someone is raping a prostitute or something and they make that point. But if it's a consensual agreement then why the fuck should they care?

I mean, do these same people go to a restaurant and think about what kind of amazing people the chefs are? Or what kind of people they are and how wonderful their personalities are?

Of course They don't. u/OfSpock is a hypocrite. He/she doesn't do that at every restaurant they go to. You're not obligated to put in "feelings" if you're doing stuff for money.

I don't even use or like the action of paying for prostitutes. But the logic behind people who hate it or bash men who use it is astounding. They promote the ideal of sexual liberation but want to confide men who want to use it to their advantage. They need to be called out.

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Title	Why do ordinary respectable men visit prostitutes?
Author	1473591
Upvotes	9
Comments	363
Date	January 28, 2018 1:52 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7thbnh/why_do_ordinary_respectable_men_visit_prostitutes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-ordinary-respectable-men-visit-prostitutes.263812 https://theredarchive.com/post/263812

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