3 Words That Will Change Your Life

nebder · 2017-12-10T19:01:35+00:00

“I’ll handle it” is the natural follow up.

Well stated. Great post OP.

brinkleybuzz · 2017-12-10T20:47:06+00:00

Definitely don't overshare your burdens, as too many "modern" men tend to do, because most people could care less.

On the other hand I've known too many good men who self medicated with drugs and alcohol, abused others and/or attempted suicide because they kept their emotional pain bottled up.

For minor discomfort, OP is spot on. The right thing to do is to just deal with it.

For deep emotional pain, the right approach is to not suffer in silence but share your emotional pain with a trusted, sympathetic male friend or a therapist who can help you work through it properly.

stacysmomlovesme · 2017-12-10T23:32:21+00:00

I'll one up OP

Surrender to the suffering.

Not only does the world not care to hear you bitch and moan but you don't even need to have play the victim quietly in your head in the first place.

OP examples

My girlfriend cheated....Please bish..she was never yours and its to be expected that romantic relationships do all come to an end. Dont expect false promises and there is no suffering over imaginary soulmates.

Chores to do? Ask yourself why you are doing them. Do they serve your mission? Great! Do em with a smile. Do they serve another? Release yourself from the bondage of servitude and dont do another's chores.

The suffering feeling is there to alert you to retake control.

Starfuckingman · 2017-12-10T19:13:02+00:00

I like the concept but you pushed it a little way too far. Some situations requires a reaction and hopefully you are smart enough to do the right reaction.

gELSK · 2017-12-10T20:32:25+00:00

// , Did you read Rollo's latest post on rationalmale.com? Your post points out something we need, but then pretends we need it all the time.

I'm no Christian, but the opening lines of Ecclesiastes' third chapter speak to the spirit of this forum:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

Your post's content indicts all complaints. But what about the sober, actionable, complaints to people who have explicitly solicited complaints? You only need these to get your job done, but you want them to be able to feel like you're in control.

You ever run a business? If you had a customer, would you want them never to complain to you if you sent them the wrong order?

The literal and implied meaning of this "Suffer in silence" slogan indicts legitimate productive communication along with unproductive communication. The damned part is as follows:

Men are productive & logical (At least a few of you still are) and we shouldn't have time for things that are counterproductive like complaining/crying. It gets nothing done, it solves no problem.

Emphasis is mine.

This does not merely imply that all or most complaints are counterproductive. OP literally states that. Twice.

Put yourself in the shoes of a legitimate authority figure, say, a squad leader, software developer, or a highly trained medical specialist.

Do you REALLY want your soldiers, users, or patients to "suffer in silence"?

No, because here's what happens if you apply the "suffer in silence" slogan to these kinds of situations:

Soldiers don't report when they're in over their heads or under fire. They "suffer in silence". As does your mission.
Users don't report bugs.¹ They "suffer in silence". As does your bottom line.
Patients don't report symptoms. They "suffer in silence". As does your practice and reputation for healing.

This post should be about a skill to cultivate and apply where appropriate, not "Complaining is what women do" or some rule for life.

1) This particular "suffer in silence" example is actually extremely common, annoying, and there are entire companies whose business model is to help developers get users to complain.

sigma_fi · 2017-12-11T00:18:11+00:00

Just read to the point where you stated the main three words.

STRONGLY DISAGREE.

Suffering in silence is like what other commenter's have mentioned, leads to suicide.

Family/male friends/teacher's (yes, can be women but you'd have to calibrate whether she'd respond positively).

We are human, men are not emotionless rocks. Everybody has breaking points.

Most times, people don't even vent so that the other person give's them a solution, sometimes a response as simple as "I understand, that sucks really man, hope things start looking up" is enough to make you feel better.

Fuck man, sometimes the advice here can be so fucking retarded. And everybody follow's like a bunch of fucking sheep.

Aren't you motherfuckers suppose to be Alpha males?

How about thinking independently of what this subreddit tells you on how to navigate your life? Sounds Alpha enough for ya?

Slzrd · 2017-12-11T03:16:03+00:00

And this is why we have a stigma around mental health, due to ignorant men like our fathers. Everything in moderation.

ColdbloodedEdward · 2017-12-11T07:56:27+00:00

i know or at least believe my dad does this, he never told me that though. just tells me not to go back to the past

hb8only · 2017-12-11T11:53:31+00:00

80 percent don't care about your troubles, you make them feel better because they don't have them and 20 percent are happy that you have those troubles...

GoRedBad · 2017-12-11T12:46:52+00:00

Never suffer!

Suffering is when you take pain and add to it with "woe is me" thoughts or hopelessness.

Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional.

Schroef · 2017-12-10T19:28:21+00:00

This sounds way too much like tolerating bullshit without speaking your mind. To be invisible. To subdue your feelings. Fuck that.

I'm about to get my ass whipped for setting stuff on fire when I was told not to, "Turn around and suffer in silence"

Whoever told you that is a moron. You’re wrongfully accused and you’re supposed to sit down and shut up?

Emotions can be a big force in your life if you use them the right way. Emotions are what make you human, and if you think women don’t like emotional men you’re mistaken. What they (and people in general) don’t like is if you let emotions guide your actions, or if you get indecisive because you’re having a bad day— letting your mood get the better of you.

MattyAnon · 2017-12-10T21:37:32+00:00

Don't suffer in silence..... FIX IT in silence.

Atolla2 · 2017-12-10T20:14:19+00:00

This is horrible advice. While people don't want to hear your whining, they often respect your ability to be bluntly honest about your situation & what you're doing to improve it.

Telling men to suffer in silence just reinforces what has led to men being roughly 80% of suicides.

omega_dawg93 · 2017-12-10T20:06:19+00:00

great post, dude. "suffering in silence," and "having the ability to keep your mouth shut" are two very important concepts that most guys miss nowadays.

it's NOT being without emotion. it's about NOT being a whiny little bitch every time things (jobs, women, tasks) don't go your way.

if your new puppy gets mauled by a coyote, well, you express your emotions. if you lose your keys, you don't start crying like a bitch and blaming other people.

BlueNoMore · 2017-12-11T08:01:57+00:00

I don't see anything great in this post and nothing new anyway. OP you don't see the forest for the trees nor you seem to be aware of how the emotional body works.

Also seeing how many retards upvoted this shit makes me wonder about what this sub has become.

One thing is saying that you don't have to show your emotions, which I agree, the other thing is to say that you have to suffer in silence.

When you suffer first of all you have to understand why the thing makes you suffer in the first place. All events are basically neutral, emotional suffering comes always from your belief system aka your ego.

Every negative feeling has some energy with it (the event triggers one of your beliefs). If you suffer in silence what you are doing is you repress or suppress that negative energy.

What then happens is that another event will happen to remind you of your negative belief, more negative energy suppressed and more bad shit. This is the reason for several chronic illnesses or, if the energy is too much, drug abuse, depression, aggressive behavior, suicide and so on.

The 4 words that would change your life would be instead: learn to let go.

And if you don't know shit study or ask for help instead of writing bullshit just to collect likes from retards.

king_of_red_alphas · 2017-12-10T21:11:37+00:00

And what do you say to a man contemplating suicide?

halfback910 · 2017-12-10T23:09:36+00:00

I'm about to get my ass whipped for setting stuff on fire when I was told not to,

Not setting stuff on fire is a very important lesson for children to learn.

Well written, in general.

Rudeyyyy · 2017-12-11T01:42:51+00:00

I've realized over the years that most people don't give a fuck about your problems. Sometimes because they have their own shit to deal with, other times because they truly don't give a fuck. There's a difference between crying because someone ate the last piece of pizza and crying because your uncle suffered a massive heart attack and dropped dead.

You can cry and be upset, but by yourself. Hence suffer in silence. You work through shit on your own. It builds you up, makes you stronger. Your girl cheated on you? Don't suffer in a bottle. You go out and try to get hotter chicks.

All women say they want a man to be vulnerable until you actually open up to them and they get turned off because their so called rock is actually human and has emotions and they can't handle that because they're supposed to be the one to get upset. You can get upset, but you do it alone. Suffer in silence, cry, get it out, whatever. Then you come back as normal.

Cubular-Sucr0se · 2017-12-11T06:26:41+00:00

This makes me think of a time when I was at the barbershop. A father was watching his young son squirm and complain as the son was getting his haircut.

What his dad said got my attention. The dad said to his son that part of being a man was "getting comfortable with being uncomfortable".

I thought to myself, that sucks, but he's right.

JcHgvr · 2017-12-11T13:12:24+00:00

20 years ago as a kid I was taking out the trash and fell down the stairs on my way to the bin. The neighbours daughters were there and so I walked it off with no tears or moans. But as soon as I walked back in I started to openly express my suffering. My father told me to stop crying. If I could suffer in silence in front of the girls I'm to do the same when they aren't watching. 2 decades later I still remember it as if it was 5 minutes ago.

beatscostmoney · 2017-12-11T13:24:10+00:00

Reminded me of this

"But do not of your own accord make your troubles heavier to bear and burden yourself with complaining. Pain is slight if opinion has added nothing to it; but if, on the other hand, you begin to encourage yourself and say, "It is nothing, – a trifling matter at most; keep a stout heart and it will soon cease"; then in thinking it slight, you will make it slight. Everything depends on opinion; ambition, luxury, greed, hark back to opinion. It is according to opinion that we suffer" -Seneca, Moral Letters

mental_models · 2017-12-10T21:10:31+00:00

No one wants to hear other people complain.

If you have a real emergency then complain. Everybody is playing hurt, everybody is experiencing pain, but some people feel the need to 'cry wolf' 900 times a day until everyone tunes them out for being needy and annoying.

Seyden · 2017-12-11T00:44:36+00:00

Suffer In Silence

Garbage advice. Repressing what hurts you will eventually become a burden. This shit advice is the reason people growing old become weak (mentally). They break beneath the burdens of the past.

Don't complain.

Was fucking better. I wish the post would use that example instead. Complaining does nothing to fix your problem. Try to solve it instead. Without needing to borrow (repress) it deep within you and fuck your psyche as you go along.

fuckswithboats · 2017-12-10T21:28:43+00:00

It's being strong for others in the midst of soul crippling pain. It's carrying your own weight and getting the job done.

It might also be part of why men tend to die younger.

While I agree with the core of your post - don't be a little bitch and whine and cry about every little thing in life that doesn't go your way, men in the past took this too far.

Sometimes opening up is healthy but do it in a proper fashion.

DrankOfSmell · 2017-12-11T01:04:15+00:00

Many MANY women don't think that saying "It's cold in here" is complaining, but rather just stating the facts. Let that sink in.

Dirkz · 2017-12-11T03:05:19+00:00

Excellent, this sub could use more of this. Truth, straight to the point and info that if applied will positively impact your life.

raywilliam639 · 2017-12-11T05:32:37+00:00

I don't know why but when reading all that this quote from the Dark Knight came to mind. "You can't rely on anyone these days, you got to do everything yourself, don't we!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyDNN6xf3vw

Itzreme · 2017-12-10T20:27:36+00:00

This is way overboard. This forum proves that. We all come here to post on our experiences and problems find solutions to them. Saying you should "suffer in silence" only counters the purpose of this forum. Yes, it's not good to whine and complain but it's good to reach out to others with the sole purpose of taking action. What's bad is when you're just a wimp who complains and complains without taking action.

[deleted] · 2017-12-11T06:12:17+00:00

This.Right.Here.

I feel like this can be taken literally too. After breaking up with my ex I am happy and liberated. The only thing that sucks is now I have no one to talk to as she was really my only friend, but you know what? i'm kind of glad sitting all alone in my room. It makes me reflect more on my own self and my own problems, weaknesses, and what needs to be done to improve.

Suffer. In. Silence.

love it.

RunThroughKing · 2017-12-10T20:14:30+00:00

The fucking truth ...strong men will agree weak ones will not simple as that

Donwartelone · 2017-12-10T20:11:05+00:00

Ever heard of the saying, when u ignore a clown he/she would start getting worse, i fully understand most stuff u gotta keep to yourself i would prefer to move in silence and speak in actions.

ozaku7 · 2017-12-10T23:22:46+00:00

The very act of complaining or telling someone your problems is weakness, for the mere fact that you're trying to let someone else hold the emotional burden you have.

It is exactly this and nothing else. You get relieve, you maybe get a "It will get better" kind of verbal support which is meaningless in the end, because that never solves your problem.

You can only rely on yourself when you suffer, and you should never suffer passively. Suffer actively. Look for a solution, distraction, anything that helps to get you out of that slump. Don't drag people into your problems unless they can actually help you solve your problem and you can compensate them for it.

Humans are inherently selfish, they want to share their problems with other humans that don't give a damn about it. People just want to have fun, not sorrows.

mydogfartzwithz · 2017-12-10T23:41:48+00:00

Sorry OP but suffer in silence is some sort of shit. Look at the bright side of falling out of the tree, you learned not to be a dumbass when you're climbing. You gained something. The pain was there to teach you that lesson. Your girlfriend cheated, What did that pain teach you? Maybe some women naturally dont give a shit about you. Why should they. They dont owe you anything. Suffer in silence, is some gay shit. If all you do is feel pain. What does pain teach us? To do better, to go out there, try again, and do it better this time.

drty_pr · 2017-12-11T02:43:23+00:00

I'll add if one must get some shit off his chest, be fuckin sure it's done to another man and preferably a masculine one as well.

DotishGuy · 2017-12-11T02:58:28+00:00

I sorta agree.

Complain to a therapist or to someone who can actually help.

Not because you want to vent. Vent to an empty journal if you have to, but GET HELP.

Suffering in Silence will never help if you don't try to improve yourself. You just bottle up your thoughts and emotions till they burst, whereas if you get some goddamn help you'll learn to solve that pressure problem in the bottle. Venting the pressure is only a temporary solution, tackle the root cause of the pressure first.

Only suffer in silence if you are truly objective about yourself and you can solve your shit without a need for an outside perspective.

Bielzabutt · 2017-12-11T03:10:57+00:00

Thanks, needed to read that.

gELSK · 2017-12-11T03:11:49+00:00

Translation: Suck it up

Because no one cares

michasv · 2017-12-11T05:23:41+00:00

You know why i respect gay men? They just don’t give a fuck..

batshttcrazy · 2017-12-11T07:01:30+00:00

Suffer in silence....while you plan your response/revenge. The only reason to share your mistakes/misery is to teach fellow RPers the errors of your ways.

wataDs · 2017-12-11T07:40:33+00:00

Ive been learning this at varying rates for years. Every time i'll realize to keep it to myself just a little bit more, ill discover just the same later on. Can't figure out how to format a document? Look up the references and leave the manager alone. Minor or majorly embarassing fuck up? Damage control, learn from it and don't red face complain about your incompetence to friends for consolation (or a good ribbing). Suffering in silence is not only powerful in constructing a firmer inner frame but preserves your outer image as well, framing you more as a dependable independent and reliable individual.

madethewrongmistake · 2017-12-11T09:04:04+00:00

I'll add, sometimes it's necessary to open up to someone else if you're going through a really tough time and can't stand the pain alone, this isn't about bottling up your emotions, it's about not crying over simple/trivial things

You're softening this pill. It's a tough one, but it's important to state it as strongly as it requires. The toughest things are the ones that you will get the biggest backlash for sharing. People aren't always judging you for your personal strength, but also the strength of your situation, and they don't care how much you've overcome. They just want you to be reliable for them.

Let's say your ex-wife is a drug addict. Anybody that has lived through that knows that's a nightmare that takes an exceptional person to get through. But if you tell a woman that, she knows you got knocked down and have to fight up from your back. You'll never hear from her again. She wants to be with the version of you that always wins and never went through any of that shit.

No matter what happened, you'll find that 99% of people are fundamentally unsafe to talk to about it. This is truly one of the more bitter pills to swallow.

Bear-With-Bit · 2017-12-11T10:58:13+00:00

Suffer from the pain of discipline, or the pain from lack thereof.

Dayv1d · 2017-12-11T11:58:23+00:00

This is dangerous and misleading advice! Ever heard of "A problem shared is a problem halved" ? There is a reason the most depressed people are the ones with nobody to talk to! Venting and discussing problems is an undeniably important thing to do!

macaroon18 · 2017-12-11T13:21:06+00:00

It depends on the nature of the sufferring. If its sufferring just to suffer then yes, if its sufferring to end sufferring then perhaps its good to be able to seek help. Being a man doesnt mean you have to never ask for help with anything.

Yetna · 2017-12-11T13:49:42+00:00

The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Staying quite and giving a shit that others will think your weak is weak.

RemyBucksington · 2017-12-11T14:16:08+00:00

Let’s not forget how much easier it is to suffer in silence today than it was for the real men of yesteryear.

We have instant access to the therapeutic, raw truths of every great man from Marcus Aurelius to Ed Latimore at our fingertips.

The frame-reinforcing reading that once would have cost half your day and a trip to the library is now accessible to you while you take a shit.

Suffer in silence, boys. Solid post OP.

dumgum · 2017-12-11T14:23:56+00:00

I was just yesterday thinking about this and how it affects the fight against feminist propaganda in the society today. Women have made it a game of "who can be the biggest victim". It reminds me of that old proverb about not getting into an argument with a fool because she'll drag you down to her level and beat you with experience.

Some few men have succumbed to this and tried to portray themselves as bigger victims, but this doesn't seem to be generally effective (this describes most of MRA subreddit).

Others have seen the same "Oh me poor victim" claims from women and not let it drag them down into a victim complex even when they know they've suffered equally or more. Because men suffer silently. That's the (at least original) idea of TRP, to say fuck it to these manipulative attempts and focus on improving yourself.

The first type of response plays better in media and maybe useful in small amounts, but individually for you, it's better to be true to your masculinity and not get trapped into their game.

HardRightCapn · 2017-12-11T17:54:11+00:00

Great post and great point OP!

Forget the haters that just want to pick apart every damn post they see. Yes, there are some extremes where you need to share instead of suffer. But 99% of the time OP is correct. Man-bitches need to stop whining about every little thing.

Wakka_Grand_Wizard · 2017-12-12T12:03:14+00:00

DUDE! it is no wonder the amazing Miyamoto Mushashi went into the wild forest or whatever (basically in solitude) to perfect the way of the sword. It is in this solitude where great men are forged! tho, thanks for the reminder =D

LateralThinker13 · 2017-12-12T17:34:04+00:00

I prefer these three words: DEAL WITH IT.

Suffer in silence is passive. Accepting. It's what women do in crap relationships. It's not what an active agent who controls his own destiny does.

DEAL WITH IT.

Your way of dealing may be to ask for help. It may be to endure the pain because no help is possible/forthcoming. It may be to try to escape. It may simply be for you to endure the pain in silence. Whatever it is, it is you, acting and choosing, to deal with the situation as you see fit.

Also, just because you're being strong/maintaining frame, doesn't mean you need to suffer in silence. You aren't alone in this world. There are men and women who can be there for/with you - professionals, your personal allies/family, etc. Acting like you are totally alone is a mistake. You must depend and rely upon yourself first and foremost, yes, but no man is a perfect island.

DashingRake · 2017-12-15T17:04:16+00:00

My phrase is simply "i can deal with this"

YouAllSuck99 · 2017-12-10T19:53:39+00:00

You don't realize how pathetic you sound?

MisterRoid · 2017-12-10T20:19:54+00:00

Good post! Complaining alot isn't only unproductive, it's detrimental. You are just reinforcing the negative state of mind by complaining; it will make you feel worse, not better.

CuckedByTRUMP · 2017-12-10T21:56:48+00:00

Here is my rule: If your friends can't fix it, don't talk about it. When do I break this rule? Health problems and very rarely relationship problems. And only with lifelong friends that have 5+ years and that you can trust. I remember a specific situation with an ongoing problem I had been dealing with that could not be resolved. I did not share it with my best friend for several years. I eventually did and I don't feel like anything was gained. I just wanted to vent and it was useless. I made me feel good to get it out but then it made them worry more and there was nothing they could do to help.

Don't vent to your friends. Talk about your dreams and your ambitions and the things you two are gonna do when you are both filthy rich. Don't complain unless it's health related and they need to know or if you think you want to talk to them about something, wait a long while. Maybe it will just resolve itself. The few times I have opened up it only provided temporary relief and it was weak.

Asking for advice about a situation is not venting. They are two different things. Want to talk about a career path you are unsure about? That's advice. Want to talk about how you are mad at your boss and they mistreat you? That's venting.

Whitified · 2017-12-10T22:35:15+00:00

While what you said is 100% true, it also sounds disturbingly like what the Blue Pill world constantly tell all men. "Suffer in silence", or "suck it up", or as feminists say "Cry me a river!"

Men get divorce-raped? "Suck it up!"

Fathers seperated from their children? "Suck it up!"

Men forced to serve in military? "Suck it up!"

...You get the picture.

There's a time to suck it up, there's a time to make noise. It all depends on the situation. "Suck it up!" is only RP advice when whining or not makes absolutely no difference.

That's not the case on the internet as thousands of men stand to learn from our RP experiences.

metallicdrama · 2017-12-10T22:59:10+00:00

Never tell anyone your problems. 80% don’t care and the other 20% is happy you have them. If you feel like shit everyone you hate wins.

Neutral_User_Name · 2017-12-10T19:27:26+00:00

"Keeping frame" expressed a different way.

Women have no frame.

Art3mis2093 · 2017-12-11T02:48:32+00:00

i couldn't agree more.. there is a really sickening, gross attitude that western society has towards men.. its essentially the reversal of what society used to think of women. Your central point is spot on. Suffer in silence (obviously when things are very bad you don't bottle it up, you make a wise choice to share this with people you trust). You just do what yougotta do. That's all. No point chucking a pissy fit over it - not only is that not going to solve the problem, but it's going to add to it. It goes with the men that suppress their shit too, ever seen a grown male act out like a 6 year old because something incredibly small went wrong? i honestly think that's a reason domestic violence exists. Freud was right about the subconscious in that regard. I hve been depressed for 5 years. Taking medications. Been suicidal. Struggle sometimes socially. But I am on the mend. Each year I have progressed. Why? Because I did what I needed to do. I got help. I didn't supress it and I didn't milk it for attention. I fucking hate attention for that shit. Ditched religion too. Expression of emotion is VERY different for males. Just because of that fact alone, some people in mainstream society seem to think that there is only one way to express emotion (ie feminised).

5559theman · 2017-12-11T05:54:02+00:00

It's amazing how people can't have a healthy relationship with their emotions. Emotions are the only thing that make life worth living. Learn to work with them not bottle them up and prevent your own body from expressing itself. Who do you think you are you can tell your body what to feel and what not to ? You're keeping yourself in a prison

hulk_hogans_alt · 2017-12-10T21:10:37+00:00

This is fine as long as you're constantly looking for a way out of/around the suffering. Or if you can turn it to your benefit. Sometimes it's ok to complain, but do it like a man.

Darthun · 2017-12-10T21:25:20+00:00

I can usually distinguish between the intended message and the one dimensional wording used to simplify the message. In this case, the wording is so absolute that it changes the message into something harmful : " never complain for anything ever "

I'm pretty sure such an absolute statement can be proven wrong by some serious psychologists. I learned that holding unto emotions all the time can lead to dissosiative disorder. You don't want that.
Being passive and submissive is unattractive to high value girls. My girl hates it when I don't complain about shit she does or says. She loves it when I tell her " no. " Refusing to suffer is a better alternative to suffering in silence.

I wouldn't have replied if I felt like the post message was about minimizing complaining and adopting a positive frame. But the absolute way in which is worded makes me question the validity of this redpill advice.

Yes complaining is bad. Better to complain than blow up.

scrodzilla · 2017-12-10T21:43:56+00:00

Good thought. I’ve been allowing myself to whine about nonsense lately. No one wants to hear that shit.

punkrockfishboy · 2017-12-10T22:25:00+00:00

Still, if I have negative thoughts, I will write them in a journal and KEEP IT PRIVATE. Anything to whine about can be written, then you can ask yourself, "Are you done now?" and move on and do something productive. Also, don't hang out with friends that complain all the time about how things aren't going the way they want for them and don't want to improve. They are a waste of time and can actually drain you and you don't have time for that shit. You need to focus on improving yourself.

dayofice · 2017-12-10T23:19:23+00:00

Hating on women doesn’t make you seem manly or masculine, just bitter

chadchaddingtonIV · 2017-12-11T02:06:44+00:00

Not sure about the suffering part. I've learned that hardships put suffering into perspective. If you have truly been poor, losing $10k on a bad trade won't faze you. If you've truly had your life and soul destroyed by a woman, shit tests won't be a big deal in comparison. If you've truly seen rock bottom, setbacks won't seem that bad.

My point here is that you can actually come to a point in life where there is no suffering, because you've suffered so much already that everything is a walk in the park by comparison. Setbacks and problems won't even impact your mood anymore. You just deal with them like a Terminator robot.

I think that's the purest form of stoicism, because it comes naturally. When you don't have to force yourself to be a man about things because you just are.

DiebytheSword666 · 2017-12-11T03:11:03+00:00

I think that it's cool to talk about a problem with a friend over a beer. But I always cringe when a guy writes about his problems on social media. (Guy gets dumped. Posts on Facebook...) "She was my life! I thought that she was the one!" Holy crud. That's what women and little girls post.

chazthundergut · 2017-12-11T03:46:58+00:00

Four words that changed my life:

"Desire cannot be negotiated"

Thank you so much Rollo. God only knows the wasted time, emotional pain, and humiliation I escaped from when I finally choked down those magic words.

no_spoon · 2017-12-11T05:27:10+00:00

I prefer “fuck your feelings”. You’re equipped to protect and accomplish shit so try not to let other things get in the way

raywilliam639 · 2017-12-11T05:30:08+00:00

This is exactly why i never open up to anyone

Delaunt · 2017-12-11T05:34:05+00:00

Haha what nonsense, oh well

HelpMeFindNewGlasses · 2017-12-11T06:15:07+00:00

Not sure about this especially for one's mental health.

[deleted] · 2017-12-11T07:00:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mmerijn · 2017-12-11T10:14:21+00:00

For men, the best solution is to resolve what is aching you. Not to talk about it with someone. Life is sometimes shit. Talking about your problems only makes you feel like you did something, this only solves the problem if it was imaginary. Now that I am thinking about it, that may be why it works for many women.

Hoanphu · 2017-12-11T10:31:41+00:00

You mean the cases of complaining where the root of a problem is clear and instaed if taking action, you just bitch around., right?. Ofc prople bitch around as customers to me. Thats the fastest way to resolve problems thats not the complaining u refered to in your post.

356dc · 2017-12-11T10:56:13+00:00

Partly true, partly wrong. Whining is sign of privilege, and being afraid to expose your vulnerabilities is a sign of fear and weakness. But on the other hand, if you do have serious things to complain about, you're right, you're better off keeping your mouth shut, because you're probably a loser and no one cares. All the Chads I've known love to complain and rant all day long about the pettiest shit, and the women find it endearing. They don't mind it, or take it seriously, because they can see the guy has his life in order and is actually tough and confident. Meanwhile, the biggest betas in the group sit quietly in the corner trying to act tough, and when someone asks them "how are you", they say "I'm fine, thanks" everytime even though they think about suicide 24/7. I'll suffer in silence for now, but my dream is become one day strong and alpha enough so I can afford to cry like a bitch and a baby about literally everything without giving a fuck.

Metalageddon · 2017-12-11T12:39:40+00:00

Adding to this, I'm not one for mantras.

I've always been a fan of acting, not saying. If the world sees in you and exciting, driven, positive life, doors "and legs" fling wide open really quick.

GOODLORD100 · 2017-12-11T12:43:24+00:00

I have been “suffering in silence” and now I’m ready to blow my brains out one quiet Sunday morning

redlurker9 · 2017-12-11T13:38:51+00:00

Agreed, but with a grain of salt. For deeply traumatic events, like rape, abuse, fear for your life and so on that can give you ptsd, you should talk to a male professional. The guy that bench 3times his weight needs spotter in case shit goes wrong. It doesn't make him weak, it makes him human.

drexlr · 2017-12-11T14:10:25+00:00

have you seen the kid who is famous for crying about bullies to his mom on viral video?

https://youtu.be/UdENqUQfcI4

he got invited to season premiere of avengers by chris evans hanging out with nfl players going on tv. theyre calling him brave. its sad

his mom is worst parent of the year if you ask me creating a victim.

drexlr · 2017-12-11T14:27:03+00:00

alot of people think this post is "how to be a good friend"

this is about you. people are so thick w sjw ooooh what if someone with ptsd is reading this omg!

some concepts are subtle people love to blame all their problems on something this is great advice, u fucking excuse makers its hillarious watching ur guys hamsters go crazy not ever trying to except responsibility for things or have agency.

dont forget what trp is about.

dontbethatguynow · 2017-12-11T14:48:00+00:00

Women are great at reading men, they can sometimes sense when your a bit "off" from normal and ask "Whats Wrong" I find the best response to be "I got a lot going on" which is actually usually true. I don't ever give details though.

ForgedInProdigy · 2017-12-11T16:24:56+00:00

You can learn a lot by this by following a free 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat.

After spending 10 days without speaking to anyone dealing with freezing cold temperatures, knee pain, feeling tired, people snoring and all other discomforts without saying anything, I learned a lot from that experience.

Sir_Distic · 2017-12-11T20:04:19+00:00

When you learn to shut up you'll notice that most people bitch and moan all the time.

People I work with for 8 hours a day will bitch about how tired they are. We do the same job. We work the same hours. Yes I'm tired too. But I keep that to myself because no one cares. They just want you to care about their suffering.

OP is right. Suffer in Silence

johnson89893 · 2017-12-11T23:38:20+00:00

You don't have to suffer in silence, its just that no-one needs to hear you complain. Don't be a fool and think that internalizing all your suffering won't start to impact your mental health. You should journal to vent, write on TRP(as I am doing here), and have one or two very close friends, typically older men, who you can confide in.

alexander_the_groovy · 2017-12-12T02:52:21+00:00

Thank you, just broke up with GF yesterday. I needed to hear this.

llkkzz · 2017-12-12T04:36:17+00:00

Awesome post. Really motivating especially the end.

heroicnapkin · 2017-12-12T14:26:53+00:00

Solace in Conflict

A younger me wanted that tattooed somewhere but that would defeat the point of suffering in silence wouldn't it

Aurien7 · 2017-12-12T20:27:09+00:00

Excellent advice. I think that it will make will relationships better with everyone when If I avoid complaining over meaningless things.

Stythe · 2017-12-12T22:45:36+00:00

I'd imagine for a lot of people, as it was for myself, once you stop complaining you focus on doing which leads nicely into being productive. Quite literally the act of not complaining builds self-reliance.

yellowbrickroad01 · 2017-12-14T15:39:59+00:00

And me here thinking men wanted to break free from the boys don’t cry stereotype.

Llamabastard · 2017-12-18T19:36:08+00:00

Guys not being able to talk about issues is why they bottle them up until they kill themselves. There’s a way to talk about things constructively without being a bitch about it.

Milk_moustache · 2017-12-19T10:50:46+00:00

Mate, nice idea but this is the reason a lot of blokes are commuting suicide, suffering in silence will get you so far, but you will repress a lot of what you should be feeling emotionally and getting it out to a trusted person helps you to ride the wave out naturally rather than bottling it up.

Don’t be a slave to your emotions or act out like a child, but don’t equally try and act tough to save face. Sometimes the people you’re acting tough for will help you in your lower moments and having a little humility in your life will help you along the way.

Have fun sucking dicks! x

EsteraMC · 2017-12-22T21:47:43+00:00

My girlfriend cheats on me and goes with another man "suffer in silence"

Lol, beta is as beta does. If she did that, she took your HONOUR, so take away her BEAUTY, this is where acid attacks come in play. And cut that guys dick for cucking you. Knowing this, nobody else will underestimate you ever again.

Walking away with tail between legs like a beaten dog is pathetic.

HONOR ABOVE ALL

xtsv · 2017-12-10T20:39:44+00:00

Great post. Men are not allowed to show emotions other than anger/happiness, emotions are seen as a weakness and the display of weakness should be avoided at all costs.

You're depressed? Fake happiness, you're a man, you're not allowed to be depressed.

Your girlfriend broke up with you? Fake happiness, you're a man, you're not allowed to be sad.

You've got no friends and are lonely? Fake happiness, you're a man, you're not allowed to feel abandoned.

If you ever feel like all the feelings bottling up are about to burst out, that is when anger comes in. You convert all those feelings into anger, go to the fucking gym, use the anger to motivate you to work on yourself FOR yourself. Fuck everyone else, you should be the only one in your life that matters, you should be your top priority and nothing else. Without anger and selfishness there is no improvement.

BoyWhoCriedNeo · 2017-12-11T15:17:04+00:00

This is one of the words posts ever. Countless men suffer needlessly and even kill themselves because of this terrible line of thinking. By the way, your father sounds like a narcissistic cunt, not a "great man" by any measure.

YouAllSuck99 · 2017-12-10T19:54:28+00:00

You don't realize how pathetic you sound?

3 Words That Will Change Your Life

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Title	3 Words That Will Change Your Life
Author	JaspersChest
Upvotes	1371
Comments	244
Date	December 10, 2017 6:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7ivr8k/3_words_that_will_change_your_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/3-words-that-will-change-your-life.47678 https://theredarchive.com/post/47678