Never Take the Couch

zyk0s · 2014-11-13T23:58:09+00:00

The couch, the doghouse, the excuse gifts, it's all things society now expects men to put up with, and with a smile. What's fascinating is how men love to make jokes about this. If you mention your woman having any sort of disagreement with you, they'll bring those things up even more often than women do.

I thought about what psychological process is responsible for this and I have a pet theory. Basically, it's an extension of the crabs in the bucket. These men don't like the idea that a woman would be right to demand something like this of them. They subconsciously feel that it makes them weak, but since they've been taught this was the way of the world for so long, the only way to save face is to make sure this rule is imposed on other men to prevent them from gaining a competitive advantage.

It is even more apparent in their reaction when you tell them that you don't adhere to it. They don't become perplexed, curious or amazed, they become angry, and angry with you, as if you've committed a crime. And you have, you are cheating at the game when they follow the rules, but instead of challenging the rules, they try to bring you down into compliance.

Ultimately, that's how humans enforce laws, so it's a useful trait for social cohesion. What's missing is the courage to look at such laws and rebel if they are unjust. If most men are so eager to enforce the doghouse rule, is it any surprise we've seen more acceptance for laws that introduce more control and reduce people's freedom?

[deleted] · 2014-11-13T23:11:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ISODAK · 2014-11-13T22:18:38+00:00

Even in my blue pill days, this was the one thing I got right.

Thizzlebot · 2014-11-13T21:51:48+00:00

I never got the logic of the man on the couch. Even if its her house, she can go somewhere else if she's butthurt.

boozerkc · 2014-11-14T03:58:45+00:00

Her: You're on the couch tonight

Me: I'm 6'2 3220. You're 5'3 110. How you gonna make that happen?

Her: She shut the fuck up.

loin_fruit · 2014-11-14T07:02:24+00:00

I work at a store currently. Can't tell you how many times I hear guys say the wife sent them shopping and if they come back home with the wrong item that they would be sent to the doghouse or some variant.

Or a guy would say "oh I can't make this decision. Better call the boss first"

To them its funny. To me its sad as fuck.

2comment · 2014-11-14T01:56:44+00:00

♂

15 years ago, I would have said this is just common sense and that's just shit on sitcoms, but my Father was red pill and I never appreciated that until I started dealing with women and their nonsense. The blue pill entrenchment in this country among men never ceases to amaze me.

As such, have a point.

Revo_Luzione · 2014-11-13T21:38:17+00:00

Frame status: Maintained. Hand status: Maintained. LTR game status: Legit.

Toolazy2work · 2014-11-14T03:37:00+00:00

I'm still a red pill newbie, lurking mostly, but this is one thing I discovered on my own. If SHE is mad, then SHE can leave and go else where. Her moods should (and don't) affect my sleep or comfort.

Doomsday_ · 2014-11-14T05:32:47+00:00

OP is indeed right although this is a rather simple example.

The principle to keep in mind is poon commandment 4:

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

Adanac23 · 2014-11-13T22:24:43+00:00

I had the same thing happen to me. Wife told me to sleep on the couch during a fight and I very politely told her that hell will freeze over before I ever sleep on the couch. She stormed upstairs and I heard her get ready for bed and then proceed to walk across the house to the guest bedroom. I finished watching a hockey games and went to the guest bedroom and asked her what she was doing. She got all huffy about how if i wouldn't sleep on the couch she was going to sleep in the guest bedroom for awhile. I told her I wasn't interested in having a room mate and that I would pack up in the morning and go to sleep in a hotel. A couple hours later I was getting woken up with a naked wife apologizing.

Edit: Lots of replies.. To me the only thing worse then a husband being banned to the couch is a married couple sleeping in different rooms. To me that is Beta Bux at it's highest level of fruition. Why didn't I blow up and make a huge scene and kick her out of the house? That would have been playing right into her hand. She was trying to get a reaction out of me and instead I calmly told her I would leave first thing in the morning. Like I said in another reply if I am going to be sleeping in different bed than my wife I certainly am not going to be doing it under the same roof and my bed is certainly not going to be cold and empty.

TheRealMouseRat · 2014-11-14T06:49:25+00:00

I have always wondered this, what right does a women have to decide if you can't sleep in your own bed or not?

Angry_Bald_Guy · 2014-11-14T04:44:14+00:00

I told mine try it and I will put the fucking couch on the bed.

bama79rolltide · 2014-11-13T23:28:44+00:00

I was married before, and I never once took the couch. Never.

SgtTRP · 2014-11-14T00:49:08+00:00

This recently happened to us (female here). We got into a bit of a rough patch, he informed me this was our bed he was going to sleep in it and I could leave if I wanted. I don't know what else to say other than I was fucking turned on. Also, that let me know to never ask him to leave the bed again. I've learned not to escalate with him because he maintains himself so well, that I always end up looking like a moron. He never says I'm being stupid just waits for me to come around and admit it. This is TRP amirite :) ..lol anyway, more husbands need to take this approach.

bluedrygrass · 2014-11-14T06:30:31+00:00

It's like an old simpson's episode I saw years ago :

Marge is angry at homer. Homer says "I know you're mad at me. I would understand if you slept on the couch".

lokibali · 2014-11-14T01:33:25+00:00

Im going on 20 years of marriage, not once have I even considered going to sleep on the couch. She has had to sleep on it a couple of times, not in a long time though...

TrimHer · 2014-11-14T05:01:01+00:00

This is one of those things that you don't cave to, EVER. It is an unbreakable rule, because once you break it, you're on a steep, slippery slope. Same with asking/begging for sex.

UnknowablePariah · 2014-11-14T08:57:36+00:00

A guy I know told me a story about when he was a newlywed. They had a fight as newlyweds do and she told him to sleep on the couch. Not thinking about it he settled onto the couch but then he started to think very similar to OP. This was his house. He was the one working a construction job everyday to pay for it and feed the family. That was his room. So he got up from the couch went to the bedroom door and kicked it in. Then got into bed without saying a word. She never tried to tell him to sleep on the couch again.

vengefully_yours · 2014-11-14T05:40:42+00:00

Damn right. It's my bed, if she doesn't like it she can sleep on the floor or couch. The only times I've slept other than in my bed was when I fell asleep there, and when my lungs were fucked up a couple years ago and I couldn't walk upstairs. If the bitch thinks she can kick me out of my bed, she is delusional.

jpepper07 · 2014-11-14T14:10:46+00:00

This has been my approach since the start of my relationships. They usually end up crying in bed til they can't handle it no more and they head to the couch eventually. Sometimes they come back. Usually pretty annoying because I am trying to sleep. I got work in the morning and no time for this shit.

choomguy · 2014-11-15T04:57:54+00:00

I sleep wherever the fuck I want.

shootinthegym · 2014-11-13T22:29:58+00:00

I agree but I like to sleep on the couch at least twice a week just because she moves too much.

Anderfail · 2014-11-14T01:15:38+00:00

Only time I sleep elsewhere is when my wife is sick and I don't want to get what she has. Otherwise, nope not leaving my bed.

dancingwithcats · 2014-11-14T12:21:22+00:00

My wife knows better. If she doesn't want to sleep in the same bed for some reason, which is a very rare occurrence over our 17+ year marriage, she goes to the guest room. When she makes more money than I do (never going to happen) she can dictate where I sleep.

[deleted] · 2014-11-14T05:36:09+00:00

Totally agree. Even in my BP days I still thought this was insane. "You mean she's gonna kick you out of YOUR bed that YOU bought with the money from YOUR hard work?"

Also: NEVER, EVER let a woman kick you out of your own house, even if she wants a divorce. If you paid for it, then tell her that SHE can get the fuck out or live with you in hell. You worked your ass off for that place, so stand your fucking ground.

4_YRT · 2014-11-13T21:47:15+00:00

when you told her that, did she cry? If she did, how did you react to that?

reddit_already · 2014-11-14T00:54:23+00:00

Excellent story. It took me 15 years to get this one right. The first time I refused to leave, wife was surprised. I said with amusement, "I'm not the one upset. If you don't want to be here, you can be the one to take the couch."

(About any continuation into a pattern of sleeping in separate bedrooms, I'd address it once that became apparent, once it becomes a separate issue. No need to address the issue before it's ever an issue. That sounds too beta).

HalfWayInn · 2014-11-14T05:18:25+00:00

Well said, what she is going to do? Nothing, provably make a good breakfast next morning.

loddfavne · 2014-11-14T10:44:13+00:00

I watched one episode of Kardashians where the wife in the house was unhappy with the father. Mr. Kardashian agreed to sleep seperately. Except he didn't sleep on the couch. He went into the garage and installed a huge inflatable bed and made himself pretty cozy. The episode ended with the wife coming into his garage asking to sleep in his bed. There was probably some redpill-logic behind his actions.

babybelly · 2014-11-14T10:48:00+00:00

what do you do if your wife brings the money home?

[deleted] · 2014-11-14T14:28:06+00:00

suggested I straighten up or I'd be sleeping on the couch

the nerve

kinda common sense to an RPer though

JojoRogers · 2014-11-14T15:30:10+00:00

This is best simple advice to give to men thinking about marriage. 15 years and I have slept in the guest room a few times because the wife was sick and I didn't want to catch it.

It all comes down to not giving into the idea that she is ever entitled to anything just because she is a woman.

Mad at me for some reason and don't want to share the bed? Fine I'm sleeping in it go find somewhere else.

Try and pull some kind of rant because I bought a brand name you don't like? Don't ever expect me to help with picking it up again.

Keep calling me to whine about a problem I can do nothing about till I'm home in a few days? Expect me to tell you that it's obviously incredibly important since it bothers you that much, and I expect you to take care of it NOW. Don't wait till I get home, go fix it since it's obviously so urgent you feel the need to call and "be concerned" 3 times in 6 hours. (saw that happen to a friend a few weeks back when he was visiting for the weekend)

Most important establish this stuff EARLY. I had told my wife long before we got married I'd never sleep on the couch. If you see some example of Beta behavior in movies/real life make sure you point it out to her and comment "You know if you ever expect me to do/act like that your crazy right?"

A good LTR/marriage is founded by making sure this stuff is part of things while you are dating.

TekkomanKingz · 2014-11-14T20:46:11+00:00

We don't have a couch so there's that...

[deleted] · 2014-11-15T05:24:17+00:00

This works very well.

Unless you both co-own the house/bedroom. Then you don't have a leg to stand on. Man up, and own the fucking house, if that's the case.

SuperMike83 · 2014-11-14T17:02:52+00:00

This is something my dad taught me growing up. Great advice, never once has a woman taken me up on it and slept on the couch. They always seem to have a sudden attitude adjustment instead...

Rougepellet · 2014-11-14T03:46:04+00:00

Never understood this logic. Bed is big enough for the both of you. You're both adults. Put your grown asses in the bed, don't try to push the other out like some immature kid and get your ass to sleep. Why would either of them have to leave the bed just because the other is angry? Makes no sense.

[deleted] · 2014-11-14T13:31:08+00:00

Unless you want to play your gameboy. Take the couch. When she comes back out turn it off and pretend to wake up from an uncomfortable sleep.

Purecorrupt · 2014-11-14T14:49:51+00:00

My fathers never taken the couch. Is this actually common for men to take the couch? I mean it always seemed to me the person that is more mad can leave.

joaquim56 · 2014-11-15T01:11:21+00:00

Good shit, OP.

TRP, giving men backbone, one man at time.

It's crazy how brainwashed men have become and how much power they have deferred.

OhYouPoorSOB · 2014-11-14T05:29:40+00:00

And then she went to fuck 10 random dudes.

Let's face it, people can be vengeful

truchisoft · 2014-11-14T11:59:05+00:00

What is this post even?

Is this a Field Report? Please put your toughts and analysis into it. Is this a RPExample? Where? Why?

And why the hell do we as a community put 350 votes into this piece of shit of a post?

bogidyboy · 2014-11-14T05:19:32+00:00

I bet your dick felt so big when you said that

SuperSlavisWife · 2014-11-14T10:09:44+00:00

Never had the couch argument, but for humour here's Jon's takedown on how well it would work out for me:

Me: "You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

Him: stoic "No."

Me: "I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

Him: with fury as hot as 1000 Suns "No!"

And we sleep in the same bed again.

rainmeter1 · 2014-11-14T00:21:15+00:00

''I just now realized how Galileo felt when trying to convince people in the 16th century that the earth revolved around the sun.''

Yeah, I'm sure you feel like one of the greatest mind's in human history felt when the Church was keen on killing him and destroying his life work.

JustTryingToMaintain · 2014-11-14T02:40:50+00:00

YOUR bed, YOUR house and you will do whatever you want...mindsets like the one you displayed here are EXACTLY why I will never be able to just be a housewife. No person wants to be a second class citizen in the home they share with their partner. You are contributing to women working outside the home and getting their own place rather than ever move in with anyone...I thought red pillers LIKED traditional family roles?

Title	Never Take the Couch
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	623
Comments	221
Date	November 13, 2014 9:24 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2m7vgd/never_take_the_couch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/never-take-the-couch.24826 https://theredarchive.com/post/24826

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