first cold approach last night. went terrible.

frankieh456 · 2013-06-08T15:50:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CrankRED · 2013-06-08T15:14:23+00:00

right that you didnt maintain value when you waited for her to text.

I think if you had broken off before that texting you would have been stronger. To her you were just one of many men hitting on her.

Thats where the whole false time constraint, disqualifying yourself stuff comes in- to make you stand out.

Keep working, these are great noob steps. that didnt go terribly btw, thats what happens to 9 of of 10 men who talk to her.

magicroot75 · 2013-06-08T22:31:10+00:00

Welcome to Game. This reaction will happen pretty often. Probably about 1/3 of the time. Don't worry, she doesn't hate you, she just doesn't care.

IcedDante · 2013-06-08T16:03:58+00:00

Just be aware that this post is a victory. Not a failure! Congratulations on your first approach. The next few ones probably won't be much better, but you will gt there.

HugzMonster · 2013-06-08T16:37:46+00:00

Only place to go now is up. Unless the next girl bear maces you but that would make for one hell of a field report.

rasputin724 · 2013-06-08T15:41:37+00:00

Change 'cold approach' to 'friends I haven't met yet'. Take the edge off. REMEMBER they are there to Meet YOU! They want to be your friend!! (And if they don't, then fuckem!!!)

CamJuan · 2013-06-08T18:20:51+00:00

"There is no failure, only feedback."-Brad Branson

rasputin724 · 2013-06-08T20:02:59+00:00

You're gonna be really bad for a while. After a few months approaching will be easier and you'll get a bit less bad. A few months later you'll be getting laid consistently. A few months later you'll realize that you still suck. You'll get better, you'll get worse, you'll change and grow as a person. Eventually, you'll wake up and realize that life is good and won't be able to relate to the guy that did that first approach. That is, if you keep going out chasing girls 3+ nights a week. This is what the journey is like, if this is what you want.

2013-06-11T02:16:16+00:00

When I first started approaching, I had some abysmal results. Years later, I could never tell you what the girls who rejected me even looked like. You could put them right in front of me, and I'd have no idea who they were.

Point is, it's embarassing [in your own head] to get rejected by a woman that you like when you're trying to talk to her. But honestly, it does not matter. In fact, rejection is better because it teaches you that it shouldn't bother you.

It's just shooting free throws. If you miss a free throw, it doesn't ruin your whole night. Keep shooting.

2013-06-08T20:45:39+00:00

your ONLY mistake was not going out and making 15 more cold approaches immediately after. it feels counterintuitive but that's how you make it feel less shitty

good job man dont let it get to you

rmbarnes · 2013-06-08T20:39:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rmbarnes · 2013-06-08T21:59:15+00:00

Not even really a rejection, sounds like things went OK for the first approach of the night.

Rejection is just I way of knowing when it's time to move onto the next girl.

Willem20 · 2013-06-09T01:48:18+00:00

Whenever a girl starts texting in front off me, I always place my hand over her phone and something like: "I'm way more interesting than your phone"

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-06-09T02:57:59+00:00

Think of it this way: she rejected your approach, not you. She doesn't even know you, all she knows is how you approached her. Sure it might even have been a clumsy approach. She made a snap judgment based on that, and now she will never get to know you. That's her loss.

And it's your gain in experience. You will get better. As you do more approaches, you can do better each time, and you will start to see what works and what doesn't. But you will make a lot of mistakes in the process. We learn by our mistakes. So get out there and get busy making mistakes!

thedude34 · 2013-06-08T16:45:34+00:00

Good on you for working up the Huevos. I usually try to wait for IOIs before approaching, but last night there were 2 girls I could have approached, but didn't because I didn't get any eyes from them. They were each with a friend who another guy was talking to. I shouldn't feel intrusive for coming up to them. Its a public place for fucks sake.

My own rant....

You don't have to live with that regret though today, because you went and got a truth from that girl. I'm left here wondering what if.

2013-06-08T18:14:01+00:00

Think of it as applying a filter. When she takes out her phone and starts texting, you know she hasn't passed. You can then move on to someone else.

The key thing is that you're actually bothering. If you don't try, you will never know.

ortofon88 · 2013-06-08T20:38:22+00:00

Good job man, i actually went through a phase where i decided to stay in sets longer than normal to the point where i wasnt going to walk away, they were goin to have to. I was getting the feeling that i was bailing on sets too early. Good stuff.

AvidStudier · 2013-06-08T17:41:46+00:00

Ahh the first approach! I remember my first approach. I was on my way to town at night I had been watching "Simple Pick Up" on youtube. They sugested playing this game called "GO" which is a super great game for this. The whole idea of their channel is that you can say stupid shit as long as you're comfortable with it so the challenge of GO was basically go up to them and if you don't you get hit. The first time I did it I went in with the intention of possibly getting rejected on purpose because I heard it takes the edge off if you get rejected a couple times. I was talking to the girl I approached we started walking I made a joke about how I "only occasionally like it up the ass".It was kind of similar to the humour on simple pick up and it worked because she started laughing really hard. I asked for her number a couple minutes after because I didn't know what else to do. She gave it to me which was REALLY fortunate, I could have abandoned pick up all together if I had gotten rejected there. At the end me and my two friends were just so hyped. After that I kept doing it all night and by the end I realized more often than not I could get the number.

scrabaddict · 2013-06-08T18:52:33+00:00

Amazing. You lived to tell about it!

TiberZurg · 2013-06-08T15:15:40+00:00

keep learning from your approaches and keep doing them; you'll improve. this is a good start; at least you got into a conversation with a stranger.

MMSGuru · 2013-06-08T16:02:09+00:00

Nice that you did cold approaches, a week ago I also did my first and also got recejected 3 times. But who cares? I probably wont see any of them again and it was actually pretty funny. And you could even talk a bit with her, I always got rejected pretty fast. But lets keep going! :D

H-Resin · 2013-06-08T18:00:03+00:00

Hmmm. I don't know that I would say this was necessarily a blatant rejection, but rather a sign of disinterest.

deathray_dj · 2013-06-08T18:43:42+00:00

You might think that guys who are good at this have interactions that end well 100% of the time. For me, neutrality/rejection is the norm. Get used to it.

Kitad · 2013-06-08T19:17:39+00:00

good job

SnackyPack · 2013-06-08T21:03:20+00:00

"Well have a great night with your phone" and make your exit. Congrats on your first step. We all get rejected... You're not alone.

UnamusedPunk · 2013-06-08T20:01:33+00:00

Once she started texting I would have said "Hey, get off your phone. I can't hit on you if you're on your phone"

2013-06-08T15:56:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pfunkk · 2013-06-08T22:16:22+00:00

I bet she texted her friend to come grab her, I would have said something :)

2013-06-08T22:19:20+00:00

none of it was a big deal at all

Nope and that's as bad as it gets. Unless you escalate...

Novalid · 2013-06-09T00:34:52+00:00

Damn you, I sat at home after canceling plans to go out (again). I can't wait till I start to get rejected.

choc_is_back · 2013-06-09T01:23:16+00:00

Haha, man, I know the feeling, the 'start messaging in the middle of your approach' is pretty cold.

Anyway, so that is that, you've done a cold approach, and had a taste of 'laughing it off'. Nice! On to the next one!

GerManson · 2013-06-09T02:48:06+00:00

its better to work first on feeling secure of our actions and ourselves, and then in seducing women.

they feel it, they know it, from the moment you said hi.

2013-06-09T06:52:49+00:00

Well done. It only gets better from here!

2013-06-09T07:02:41+00:00

Sounds like you obtained some test-data, determined where you went wrong, and will probably not make that same mistake again :)

Not so terrible if you look at it like that

unruly_teapot · 2013-06-09T07:08:33+00:00

I also crashed and burned last night (like many times). But in a difference to your experience, I was the one to walk away. I just didn't get the response needed to tell me to keep going. Usually I know if it is going to be worth the time within the first 20 seconds (girls might have a guy they are dead set keen on at the party and don't want you to stop him from talking to her or some other women thing). If it isn't going well I bail or befriend, befriending is only necessary if you think the girl might have an influence over the rest of your night. Disqualify yourself and then move on. An example is if you get a disinterested girl away from her group but still have others in that group you'd be interested in. "Hey, so I pulled you away because your friend looks gorgeous... and that smile of hers, please tell me she is single?"

oliver_tate · 2013-06-09T14:05:32+00:00

The beginning is the most painful, but you'll get there. Keep it up!

1vibe · 2013-06-09T17:53:45+00:00

Yes! Try one where instead of talking about where she's from ask ger where she's going.

Also, go into one where your mindset is its your intent is to get rejected. Push boundaries.

ell0bo · 2013-06-08T19:40:59+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I had one of my best rejections ever last night. Usually, with my personality, I can get away with snark. I walk up to two girls, ask why they are alone. The one replies "we are trying to find our friends", the other doesn't even bother to look up. After saying that though, the girl just looks back at her phone. I asked, "well, you want me to just leave you alone", with a joking voice. The girl says back "no, you can stay", but keeps looking at her phone. I just ask back "well, how about I get you a drink?" Completely stoned, and instead of just standing there like and idiot, I turned to walk away. As I am a few steps away one yells out "sure nice to meet you".

MarsayMarsac · 2013-06-08T17:54:32+00:00

I'm happy for your courage. Its easier to live with rejection that regret. I still regret that I didn't approach this girl in bookshop.

scenny · 2013-06-08T18:28:48+00:00

It can only get better!

dgafatall · 2013-06-08T18:51:50+00:00

Just keep doing it, man. Gradually your nerves will get more used to talking to new women, and then you will get better.

2013-06-08T21:04:42+00:00

So what exactly happened? Other than the texting and the friend showing up you didn't say much of anything other than: "i got rejected".

I'm glad you went for it. But still, we need more information

rococo78 · 2013-06-08T21:10:37+00:00

Good on you for getting out there and doing it! You'll learn. Things will get better. :)

DeeMore · 2013-06-08T17:16:19+00:00

Oh man I had a shit night two nights ago too. I talked to two girls, and then stood around for two hours. Felt so low value I sucked but its whatever because it gets better.

Deranged_Individual · 2013-06-09T01:49:57+00:00

If feels like the conversation may have been a bit boring for her tastes which is why it warranted her to pull out her phone. But hey if this happens don't sweat it, once she pulls out her phone there really isn't much to say to make a recovery at this point. You could say something witty or just continue talking as if she didn't pull out her phone but unless it really sparks her interest the set will be lost. Try to be interesting in your conversation with the girls you talk to so that they won't pull out their phone. Be funny and down to earth, relax most of all.

chanyourmind · 2013-06-08T15:09:14+00:00

It sounds like you were boring. Don't be boring. Be interesting and different. Be cocky and funny. If you don't know how to be funny, be punny. If you don't know how to be punny, make stupid comments and grin like an idiot. If you don't know how to grin, then congratulations on your recent viral success, Tardar Sauce.

2013-06-08T16:41:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	first cold approach last night. went terrible.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	226
Comments	121
Date	June 8, 2013 2:54 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fxes8/first_cold_approach_last_night_went_terrible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-cold-approach-last-night-went-terrible.1353527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353527

Comments