Never go on Dinner Dates

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2024-05-05T11:33:42+00:00

Such a rookie mistake. My personal go-to is fancy cocktail lounges. You can hear yourself talk, the drinks are really good and you can get some nice finger foods, the atmosphere actually favors creating sexual tension and it’s dark / private enough so that you can eventually lean in for a kiss without it being inappropriate.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-05-05T07:51:57+00:00

I do coffee dates. That way if we aren't a match it just cost an hour of my time and <$20. Also makes it easy to escalate things.

Any_Vacation8988 · 2024-05-05T08:00:24+00:00

Ever heard the saying girls just want to have fun. Dates should always be a fun action type activity where you’re moving. Skating, pool, coffee and walk in a park. Never dinner unless you’re an established couple and you’re already getting the booty. Women already are self conscious without a belly full of food. That’s a sure fire way to never get laid.

NoRefrigerator4969 · 2024-05-05T14:26:05+00:00

Probably an unpopular opinion, but dinner dates are great. Just not for first dates.

You need to establish a connection and physical attraction first. Dinner dates are great for getting deeper and building rapport. You can also physically escalate even when sitting across from each other. My number one way is to feed her. Also touch her hands or legs under the table. Just calibrate based on the mood.

But it depends on the goal too. Do you want to get to know the person and explore a relationship or just smash?

On a dinner date, I go to my favorite places where i know the menu in and out. I’m leading by doing the ordering, talking about the food, but I’m also a foodie and it’s a passion of mine.

Same with cocktails. I like to ask my date what kind of drinks she tends to go for and suggest cocktails she may have never tried before.

Be a guy who leads in ANY situation. Restaurants shouldn’t stop you. They should help you demonstrate the type of person you are.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-05-05T07:05:24+00:00

I agree dinner dates suck ass

VrilHunter · 2024-05-05T11:19:01+00:00

Amusement parks with rides or any high adrenaline activities are the best first date ideas - skating, bowling, nature walks with ice-cream. Adrenaline makes you more emotional and more susceptible to romance. Because it is never boring!

MrAnonPoster · 2024-05-05T12:15:30+00:00

Dinner dates are great. It is a perfect escalation path as long as you know what the fuck you are doing which seems 99.9 percent of people here dont.

Go to a restaurant that has a bar. No, not a chain restaurant.
Show up earlier, sit at the bar. This ensures you are next to each other. Order your drink and a bottle of water. This will pace you.
When she shows up she is on your turf. Also the bottle of water is a time limit that you have. By the time it is done you know if you want to escalate and if so you can casually ask her if she wants to eat. If so stay at the bar! You can get everything, service is better, you are next to each other and you are relaxed. By the time your dinner is over you should be touching each other. If the vibe isnt right, you wont fuck up and misread it

Sudden-Conference-65 · 2024-05-05T11:35:21+00:00

2 burritos and you still went to dinner 🤣

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-05-05T11:44:42+00:00

I've had successful dinner dates just like I've had successful coffee dates and successful drinks dates. It's less so about the type of date and more so about your vibe on the date.

West_Hunter_7389 · 2024-05-05T06:57:27+00:00

What worked for me was being a bit playful.

Something like: if I do this, you have to kiss me when we go out of the restaurant. She agreed. So after the restaurant, I asked for my payment, we kissed, and we had a great night.

Another advice I've read a lot here, is to not sit in front of each other, but next to her. If you have 90 degrees with her seat, you will still be able to look at her eyes, and also be able to go for a kiss.

Shawager · 2024-05-05T20:21:25+00:00

I've loved all my dinner dates thus far. You're completely right that dinners don't lead to escalation, and I completely agree. The main goal of dinner is to get to know each other and enjoy ourselves.

The crucial point is that dinner shouldn't be the whole date. It should last no longer than 2 hours to avoid it becoming dull. After that, we can move on to something else.

The worst part of dinner dates is that they can be expensive af.

Pretend-Sale8985 · 2024-05-05T20:33:36+00:00

I always go for bars or coffee shops, because it's cheap, and it's easier to talk over drinks, and in the case of bars, alcohol tends to make people tell the truth, which is how I got to learn that a date was addicted to drugs and alcohol and not the right girl for me in terms of overall lifestyle. I don't think she would have told me her secrets if we hadn't been drinking. So it makes it easier to get to know each other.

Migluee · 2024-05-05T11:26:34+00:00

Maybe it’s a bit much for some people but I always go for dinner and an activity.

aiwendil_brown · 2024-05-05T11:52:25+00:00

I had the exact same experience with a baddie I was really into. I was sad I blew it but lesson learned. Never doing dinner for a first date again.

Admirable-War-6543 · 2024-05-05T18:46:32+00:00

None of you can convince me this isn’t satire

Tatleman68 · 2024-05-05T07:13:25+00:00

Should have gone for a coffee date

NoMoassNeverWas · 2024-05-05T09:04:14+00:00

I had one successful dinner date, because the seating was a couch. The seating sucks for any escalation if you are sitting across. Only the pros are able to make a woman hot with their words and gaze. I need touch to work my magic. I would only so dinner when we are 2 hours into the date or something. Break up the pace of it.

ThemasterofZ · 2024-05-05T07:49:55+00:00

You sit on the same side

Jasonuk1984 · 2024-05-05T14:59:16+00:00

Each to their own, I quite enjoy a dinner date

kuppokuppo · 2024-05-05T16:18:34+00:00

Two burritos?!

fvckCrosshairs · 2024-05-05T15:05:01+00:00

dinner dates are the worst mistake. can't escalate, both full on food, no vibe, feels too serious, and you'll probably pay triple rather than going to a quick coffee or a nice bar

Badboybuhari · 2024-05-05T08:05:54+00:00

Sit in the same side

yeinwei · 2024-05-05T17:13:20+00:00

Dinner dates are fine, she just doesn't like you.

Objective-Piano7112 · 2024-05-05T17:21:42+00:00

I tell this to guys all the time! 1 hour coffee date is perfect, see if you even vibe with them and if they're worth an actual nice date. No guy wants to be stuck with a girl that's boring for over an hour and stuck with a bill. I've even done walks in the park or an ice cream cone. Way less pressure and expectations than a dinner

Double-Procedure · 2024-05-05T19:27:50+00:00

I agree that dinner dates suck. Previously, they’d be my go to. Eventually I moved away from them and switching to drinks. Basically because by the end of the first or two drinks I’ll know where it’s going. If it’s not going to lead where I want it to, I simply cut it short. When I was doing dinner dates I was being more out of $$$ when that could’ve been money spent on my friends or more loved ones lol

ASleepyLawStudent · 2024-05-05T22:42:28+00:00

As a woman, I only did dinner dates as a first date. That’s how I figured out who was serious about me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Spiritual-Smoke-9498 · 2024-05-06T00:37:10+00:00

Mh, location is important and is your responsibility as a man leading, but to say nothing happened because of the venue is a stretch.

BMagic98 · 2024-05-06T13:36:30+00:00

I don't know why people think that you need to physically escalate during a date. If she likes you and she felt comfortable she'll go out with you again or go home with you even if you didn't touch her.

However dinner dates are not the best choice for a first date since the food can be distracting, it's fine for a second date. It's also sometimes their fault too, that excuse for leaving is extremely disrespectful so you didn't lose much, even if you went on a coffee date with her she would have come up with the same excuse to leave, the dinner date had nothing to do with that

Dandys3107 · 2024-05-05T09:02:22+00:00

I guess you wasted considerable amount of money for free meal for your date. Good rule of thumb would be to cancel paying for the date if there was no sexual context introduced by the girl on it.

Feisty-Sun8561 · 2024-05-05T12:13:43+00:00

Patrice O’Neal said it best. A woman’s way of fucking you is you taking her out for dinner. What we view as receiving sex is what they view being taken out to eat. Unless you have already established some sort of relationship with the person or it’s at the earliest 3rd or 4th date then sure cuz she’s obviously interested. If you haven’t given a woman enough time to invest in you emotionally and physically, then how can you expect her to stick around so soon? Take this as a lesson learned, I was there myself haha.

Jironasaurus · 2024-05-05T15:31:56+00:00

It's not the dinner date, it's you. You could've verbally escalated, or you could have been playful and kept the good vibe going. Or it just wasn't a good match. Nothing to do with the table in between you and her.

Difficult-Papaya1529 · 2024-05-05T18:28:35+00:00

Love dinner dates… never had a bad one.

Crunch-Potato · 2024-05-05T11:27:41+00:00

How long were you two there?

ed2rummy · 2024-05-05T14:49:16+00:00

Honestly it depends on the age group. 26-27 plus is great. I like speakeasy or bony places where you can eventually shift yourself next to her.

Younger than that it’s definitely activity

XisRighteous · 2024-05-05T15:23:01+00:00

gotta sit at the bar

throwaway908456 · 2024-05-05T18:38:23+00:00

No shit🤣

kalispetros · 2024-05-05T21:51:06+00:00

My brother in Christ go to a dive bar.

FirstPoopyLastPeepee · 2024-05-05T22:22:03+00:00

Always do bars.

The risk of faux pas is higher at restaurants than at bars (spitting food while talking, waiter tripping and pouring their shit on you, etc). Plus, they're magnets for broads looking to hustle you; like that one vacuous tumor that didn't pay for a meal in 1 year, because she went out on a date every night and got them to pay for it, then never talked to them again (can't find the article on it). Some will actually get pissed that you're suggesting a bar over a restaurant; cut those people off right from the rip.

And if nothing else: Most people just do not look good while eating.

Bars are intimate, which is the exact vibe you need when you're trying to get to know a complete stranger. Plus, the chances for sex/hookups are higher at a bar than at a restaurant. And if the vibe isn't there; then the buy-in for both parties is relatively low, anyway.

RESTAURANTS ARE FOR ACTUAL GIRLFRIENDS.

_kernel-panic · 2024-05-06T01:44:13+00:00

Oh shit...I was on a first date yesterday and the girl also said she had to "Meet a friend in 15 minutes" and gave me a hug at the end of the date. I didn't know this was code for "you're a nice guy but I don't see you as more than a friend" 😂

I don't know why I hadn't realized it was an out until now, especially since we went out to eat after our activi-date and we definitely spoke for more than 15 minutes 🤣. I can't believe how oblivious I am, ha. I even told my room mate "She said she had to meet a friend but she told me she made it home when I texted her 'drive safe'. That's kinda weird." oof X)

I still haven't asked if she's interested in a second date. I was planning on doing it tomorrow. Is there any saving this, fellas?

JackSquirts · 2024-05-06T01:58:05+00:00

I almost exclusively do dinner dates. Something about breaking bread with someone puts them at ease and creates a bond. I never have any issue escalating or keeping the convo going or any of that. Plus, I like to eat and check out new restaurants. I know all sorts of shit in my area so subsequent dates are ridiculously easy to set up - I've been everywhere, know tons of menus and all that.

translucentlies · 2024-05-06T02:37:50+00:00

sit next to her at the bar bro.

bannedcanceled · 2024-05-06T02:37:53+00:00

Ayyy bro i bought a girl lunch yesterday too, felt like we hit it off, lots in common, she was smiling and laughing we had some contact when i grabbed her hands to look at her jewelry, she even said she would cook me dinner for our next date, have her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Checked today and she unmatched me lol. Guess she just wanted a free meal

MephistosFallen · 2024-05-06T03:01:48+00:00

If you don’t like dinner dates, may I suggest museums/aquariums/zoos/botanical gardens? I don’t think any of my lady peers would be against a single one of those as a first date, and cheaper than dinner, sometimes free.

BDenergy96 · 2024-05-06T10:14:12+00:00

I once Was in the Situation that she flirted with another dude across the table.

I think He even send her airdrop number ore something like that. Pretty disgusting.

After that I Was realy pissed. Never saw her again.

ZealousidealRaisin76 · 2024-05-06T10:48:32+00:00

Never take them anywhere fancy on a first date. It makes you look as she's the prize and you're trying to impress her. It's try hard. Take her to your favorite dive bar. If she protests, make her understand that she has no taste for what a good be he is. Keep frame.

MajesticFerret36 · 2024-05-06T15:11:41+00:00

Gotten laid from many dinner dates and even went on to date top tier women from them and certain women don't drink (the good ones, if im being honest). Honestly, drinks are so expensive in most spots these days, food is cheaper unless you're simping and taking her to a 5 star restaurant or something.

What I recommend:

Don't be a simp and take her to some hyper fancy place. Take her to a "cool" spot that is walkable and close to lots of cool stuff, not an expensive spot.
Dinner dates are great for vetting trashy women. Women who aren't shit don't order appetizers. If she orders appetizers, that's a big red flag. One because she's probably a fatty as American portions are already ridiculous and two because it looks like she is milking the experience and artificially driving the bill up. Ordering a drink is totally fine and normal etiquette. Her drink amount should not exceed yours or that looks trashy.
Any dinner date should be under the guise that there's cool stuff in the area that you'll walk too afterwards. The dinner should never be your end goal. If the girl insists it is...see pt. No. 2
I don't bother escalating at dinner and usually start escalating when we walk around and when I transition her to a bar, coffee spot, music venue, or tea place after eating. If anything, I keep my poker face on during dinner and try to just get to know the girl, get her to relax around me, and make her wonder if im actually interested or not.
If you're running out of stuff to talk about on a dinner date, that's a skill issue, not a dinner date issue. You have an environment eith hardly anytjing inhibiting your ability to talk, so if you can run out of stuff to say in that environment, you can run out of stuff to say or have your speech inhibited in many other environments as well. Work on your ability to thread conversations.

In general, I think verbally sexualizing conversations is insanely overrated, high risk and mod reward, and most women don't respond well to it. You're better off being gentlemanly with your verbals but a "bad boy" with your physicality and body language. You're going to have to break the touch barrier eventually anyways, better to just do most of the escalating with your actions instead of words imo.

PM_Teeny_Titties · 2024-05-06T15:32:04+00:00

Not sure what the issue is - you decided that eating was more important.

BravoPUA · 2024-05-05T14:27:31+00:00

Just dont go on lame dinner dates= the takeaway.

Dinner dates are great, if you know how to do them.

And was just putting up a quick vid tip on my social media in about an hour about what I liked to do for them.

Look up TheBravohood if you want to watch it

Kagenikakushiteru · 2024-05-05T18:02:52+00:00

I take girls to a building I own, where the tenant is a top restaurant in town. I always get the corner couch seat and I just touch the girls and hook up. plenty of good wine too and all the staff give me vip service. It doubles as a wine bar too.

I also take girls to another restaurant my family is largest shareholder in, I get a private room and some wines flowing and squeeze their tits.

So yes, depends where you go. If you go to some boring, bright family restaurant, then you're finished.

don't generalise

Title	Never go on Dinner Dates
Author	InjuryPretend639
Upvotes	404
Comments	147
Date	May 5, 2024 6:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ckl0g5/never_go_on_dinner_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/never-go-on-dinner-dates.1517529 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517529

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