Nice Guy texting behaviors to avoid

Everlast23 · 2022-07-10T15:14:18+00:00

Responding with disproportionate amount of text. (She sends a sentence, you reply with a paragraph)

I hear you. I do think sometimes women just want to "bing bong" banter short witty things back and forth. I have a roommate who has this style of text, and he does get a lot of hookups.

But I sometimes wonder if she doesn't respond because I sent a long message, she probably just didn't really like me all that much outside of "dance monkey dance" entertainment.

I'd rather just jack off sometimes.

cobraCL · 2022-07-10T14:33:29+00:00

This is a great list! I personally don't mind plenty of emojis at all, but the remaining observations are absolutely on point.

Alongside avoiding disproportionately initiating conversations, always avoid double, triple, quadruple+ texting a woman if she hasn't replied yet. The worst kinds are the passive aggressive texts that start rolling in after a series of unanswered ones ("Umm, hello" / "Are you still interested" / "You're wasting my time", "I'm just gonna be quiet seeing as you're so busy", etc.)

Texting a girl multiple times in a row can make her feel nagged and pressured to reply, and nervous to even show up online. Effective courtship is a dance, make a move and lead, but always let her match your action with an appropriate response. If you are making all the moves, you are steamrolling her role in seduction and killing her attraction. Give and take!

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-07-10T14:41:30+00:00

You should always keep texting to the minimum in general. It should be used to set up in person meetings, all that getting to know ya chit chat can be in person or at worst over the phone. I prefer FaceTiming before I meet a girl it’s more intimate and harder to be placed on the back burner

koolex · 2022-07-10T16:53:33+00:00

I think I struggle the hardest with having to fall back on boring text questions like "What hobbies are you into" when her profile sucks.

I also think I struggle to make a texting conversation man to women sometimes. I feel like if I can tease her then I usually can get things on track but if teasing or roleplaying doesn't feel like an option I struggle.

I've gotten pretty good at openers and I know how to close but I feel like it's the middle of the conversation where I'm missing something.

private256 · 2022-07-10T16:43:02+00:00

Point 2 hit me like an 18-wheeler. What pointers should one use when looking for engaging questions to ask?

greenlight144000 · 2022-07-10T14:36:14+00:00

What if she never initiates the conversation?

BigBadPiggy999 · 2022-07-10T17:23:47+00:00

Man this is a hard pill to swallow . I fall into those traps here and there time to time .

subversivefreak · 2022-07-10T17:16:22+00:00

As a guy, this reads more like a list of things to avoid doing if she's really not interested or someone who plays game. The last point As a guy, this reads more like a list of things to avoid doing if she's really not interested or someone who plays game. The last point was the only one relevant to "nice guy" behaviours.

Everything else is just someone who would make an effort for someone who doesn't deserve the effort by anyone. :)

(Just kidding... Lol 😊🥺!!)

(14 messages left)

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-10T16:12:47+00:00

I don't use texts just to flirt. Texting is more useful after you are with the person. You'd avoid all these pitfalls.

Snakehead004 · 2022-07-10T18:08:50+00:00

My issue is that texting is sooo boring but kinda necessary nowadays. I just want to use it to make plans but need to keep attention going so end up too often falling into the boring how's your day type bs that's boring for eveyone involved. How do you guys find things to talk about over text? In person of video chat it's no issue, conversation flows perfectly. Text is just weird and annoying imo

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-07-10T20:25:02+00:00

Not texting at all unless it is to schedule a hangout covers all these bases. If she is interested, she will show up.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-07-10T20:50:23+00:00

A lot of this is caused by covert contracts in their heads.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-07-11T02:03:08+00:00

Great post. My only contention is "always initiating the conversation." Sometimes you are expected the lead the conversation, especially in online dating when men are at a disadvantage.

JWiLLii · 2022-07-11T03:38:29+00:00

In the beginning, an abundance of texting can only hurt you. When you get someone's number, obviously have a brief conversation with them to prove that you're not a weirdo, but try to set up a date ASAP. Once you start dating, refrain from being her texting buddy and keep the conversations mostly logistical. After you go on several dates and build more of a connection, you can text more freely and many of these bullshit "texting tips" that you hear about won't matter as much.

mrrooftops · 2022-07-10T16:13:29+00:00

Nice 'person' texting behaviors to avoid. The same is true of women and others.

Let's break then down:

Trying to tease a woman then following up with ‘just kidding lol’ when she’s not responsive.

This is outcome dependent 'negging'. Following up with 'just kidding' shows that the person was expecting a positive response to the insults so is trying to backtrack. This is a cluster-b trait red flag...

Using generic, boring questions: “What do you like to do for fun?”

This isn't 'nice guy' per se - this is just low effort or low game conversation, depending on other factors either will be clear to the receiver. It is not providing value for the person being asked - an interview question if you will. All genders do this.

Overuse of exclamation points

This be a sign of exagerated behavior and could betray someone with poor boundaries or heightened emotional reactions.

Using emojis with every text

Again, this isn't 'nice guy' per se - it depends on if it is calibrate to the conversation. If one person is doing it and the other isn't then it comes across as juvenile. Some emojis can convey further clarification to the meaning to a text if used properly.

Responding with disproportionate amount of text. (She sends a sentence, you reply with a paragraph)

This shows lack of self awareness and over enthusiasm in one's own subject matter. Social incongruence - could be a sign of cluster-b self importance or aspergers.

Overanalyzing meaningless things her texts. “She sent a kissy face emoji—she must like me!”

Everyone who is more keen than the other does this. Not 'nice guy' per se unless what they do with this over analysis is negative.

Long-winded confessions of feelings or how special you think she is if she is unresponsive or goes cold.

This is accurate - it can be a manifestation of cluster-b over sharing to guilt the other person into feeling bad.

Saying ‘I miss you’ to someone you just met or just started dating

Again, cluster-b or codependant.

Giving compliments too often, particularly on looks

Shows lack of calibrated self worth; shallow pedestalizing.

Always initiating the conversation

This is not 'nice guy' per se unless they get angry at the imbalance. It does betray an imbalance of interest in the interaction though.

Starting daily conversations with boring questions, “How are you?”

This isn't 'nice guy' per se - this is just low effort or low game conversation. It is not providing value for the person being asked - an interview question if you will. All genders do this.

Finally, the Jekyll and Hyde. Starts out complimentary, caring, until she doesn’t respond quickly enough, then it turns into insults, guilt tripping, or accusations of being strung along.

This is classic 'nice guy' and 'nice girl' etc. Standard cluster-b trait. Avoid.

PaidRenegade · 2022-07-10T19:53:06+00:00

Good points but it’s really simple - keep texting to logistics only until you’ve actually gone on a date with the girl. Have had girls tell me that they like how I’m straight to the point with no BS

br0nze · 2022-07-11T03:48:02+00:00

This post is ironically an overanalysis. You’re applying objective standards to a subjective activity, which will lead to frustrations in many parts of life.

More importantly: if you’re worried about anything like this, put the phone down, and get out there and enjoy life. Get better at something that brings you joy and purpose. Don’t waste time getting better at something like texting.

If someone judges you based on how you write text messages, they aren’t worth pursuing.

peterpantheman69 · 2022-07-11T05:19:32+00:00

i’m genuinely confused on not asking “what do you like to do for fun?” so we just don’t ask what she’s interested in and don’t get to know her?

finegameofnil_ · 2022-07-11T04:39:36+00:00

What do you like to do for fun?

This is a nice way of saying, "you are bland from your profile and I haven't a fucking clue who you are and don't care if you respond. But I am the man, so I have to make the first move... apparently."

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-07-11T04:56:17+00:00

Relationship? it was yesterday and she driving back across country tomorrow. Still interaction we positive experience.

There's your problem. You are so focused on an outcome it's messing with your head. You need to do this with out caring about the outcome assume the best but expect nothing. Guys at top of their game might have success rate of 10%.

bigm5995 · 2022-07-11T06:15:20+00:00

This is a problem when it comes to texting. you are playing a guessing game. communication is light 70% body language and tonality the rest is what you say and a lot of times without that things get lost in translation. thank you for the list I think this list will be really helpful to alot of people even me but this list makes me realize that I go hate texting so very much

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-10T15:20:39+00:00

Meh you can get away with these things if she’s attracted to you.

reversedbydark · 2022-07-10T22:02:51+00:00

Can't believe I'm reading something here that is actually useful.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2022-07-10T15:59:25+00:00

WHY THE FUCK Are you guys still texting your being like every other guy also wasting time!!. sorry had to yell on my old man porch I only text to set up dates and tell them I'm going to call them. My success rate is pretty high like 1- 4 girls and before the pandemic and also now I got on 2 dates a week with someone new or someone I'm already seeing... ugh this shouldnt be rocket science ... Im not even good looking lol

burakbenxd · 2022-07-10T21:10:20+00:00

One thing I don't care about is how long i take to respond or if she even responds not lol plenty of other options!

ShinzoBinzo · 2022-07-11T03:58:02+00:00

I would like to add this typically works in WESTEN countries. Do this in Asian countries and South America and it will backfire

sixxohhwitaratchet · 2022-07-11T04:36:45+00:00

my advice to avoid these mistakes. stop texting.

peterpantheman69 · 2022-07-11T05:09:11+00:00

alright i’m just not going to do the dating thing

LIGMALIGMA_ · 2022-07-11T13:53:06+00:00

Lmfao. This is really a subreddit?

PersimmonAccurate100 · 2022-07-11T17:26:21+00:00

this is why i find it easier to meet women at bars and clubs than on dating apps

Dismal_Challenge_577 · 2022-07-13T03:01:58+00:00

Girls only initiate texts with the following five males:

1- A man who is in her friendzone = meaning, a man who she will never want to date, never finds attractive, but she loves his personality. This man is also known as her "orbiter", meaning, she keeps him around because she feels good around him with all the compliments he gives her. Remember, the only man that can be in a woman's friendzone are the man whom she does not find attractive.

2- A man who is her sucker = this the man who she contacts for only when she needs help with something, like if she needs help moving or with a school paper, or with a flooding in her house. Remember, the only man that can be a woman's sucker are the man whom she does not find attractive.

3- A man whom she has to send an important message = this is like a coworker, or sending an important message to a guy she knows and the message is important.

4- A man who is her family member.

5- Her boyfriend

So if a girl you know never initiates texting with you, then it means one of the following two things:

1- She doesnt like you in any way (neither as a friend nor a sucker nor a possible romantic option). This is when you are pretty much invisible to her.

2- She finds you attractive BUT you two are NOT dating. Woman RARELY TO NEVER initiate texting with the guy that she is crushing on, because woman are afraid of getting rejected or to be seen as "desperate".

xoldsteel · 2022-07-11T04:04:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Blaphrodite · 2022-07-10T19:16:40+00:00

After the first date, ask permission to call. Only text to ask what’s a good time to call. Women get tired and bored with endless texting

xAbuBakrAlBaghdadi · 2022-07-10T18:59:08+00:00

And most important tip: be goodlooking, online game for an average looking guy is numbers based (aka luck) and not really worth the effort in case you have a busy life (9-5 + hobbies).

TheJoeyJoeJoe · 2022-07-10T15:41:18+00:00

I love it.

Mix all of these together and you've got the perfect recipe for being left on read.

Don't forget texting a woman, then sending "hello?" after she doesn't reply.

cold-pop · 2022-07-11T00:22:55+00:00

Exclamation points. This... and overuse of emojis. That too

Maybachmeeky · 2022-07-10T19:54:58+00:00

If it feels like pulling teeth walk away !

FractalGuise · 2022-07-10T15:49:56+00:00

Only betas use emojis.

Wooden-Tax3309 · 2022-07-10T19:58:32+00:00

Why should we even bother

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-07-10T20:12:43+00:00

Agree with all of those, great list! Especially the last one..

SparklesTheRiot · 2022-07-11T02:14:48+00:00

Meh.

HomeschoolProm · 2022-07-11T03:36:42+00:00

So like how should I text then?

KidSuperHeat · 2022-07-11T04:57:33+00:00

just call her already.

"hi beautiful, i just wanna hear your radio dj voice."

Boom.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2022-07-11T07:57:59+00:00

Short sassy nonsense texts bore the shit through me tbh but it seems to be the only style of communication that most women are looking for

YouGotTangoed · 2022-07-11T12:05:19+00:00

Pretty much all of these are symptoms of oneitis, or not dealing with enough girls at the same time

alphabeardmale · 2022-07-11T14:13:38+00:00

Wow, great compilation of rules of texting girls! Also, here's a Youtube playlist pf three videos that tackles just this subject: rules of texting girls, go ahead and check it out: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0EoDeHeIhUe5jv\_bwgj2NDkSJzSiK9y9

doobyscooze · 2022-07-11T14:20:40+00:00

Keep texting to a minimum. Only use text to schedule meetups. Texting too much kills attraction. Calling and facetime is far more effective.

Text is just words it lacks the emotional response that enables attraction.

brilliancemonk · 2022-07-11T15:38:18+00:00

Always initiating the conversation

This is not a behavior to avoid but a sign that she's not interested.

rhino_reno · 2022-07-11T21:46:46+00:00

May I know what are the other starter questions besides "How are you?" that can initiate great conversation?

Hefty_Tendy · 2022-07-11T22:29:50+00:00

One I’ve recently realized I’m very guilty of that’s not on this list is trying to make every message open-ended and easy to respond to.

Another one is that I’ve stopped following the “no-bullshit” approach constantly recommended by this subreddit that texting should only be for logistics. Pushing hard for a meetup when a girl is still trying to feel you out will push her away.

Women can tell when you’re doing these things and they come off as needy.

These days I just keep the conversation casual and remind myself that if she’s responding at all, that means she’s probably attracted to me to some extent. I don’t see texting as “a waste of time” because I don’t dedicate much time to texting.

PropertyRemote2332 · 2022-07-13T21:17:51+00:00

If she say she misses me after the first date, I assume it’s cool to say I miss you too?

Kibahime · 2022-07-16T05:57:34+00:00

Omg I have ghosted so many men because ALL they have to say is "wyd?"

I don't need us both here to carry the whole ass conversation. I'd rather get back to rehousing my tarantulas or learning more about doing my own nails at home or I'll dump 10 hours into building a new base in Ark.

Once a guy who's an acquaintance I've known sort of for a few years messaged me. Which he never does, so I checked to profile to confirm, yep, recently single. He asked how I was doing and I told him honestly I wasn't at a good place with my mental health at the time. I loathe small talk, lol. He was like awh that sucks. Told him I was in the middle of redoing my nails (new hobby, was liking how they were turning out) and he dead ass asks me for feet pics and says he's into that.

I'm like dude, you effectively just heard me say my depression has been kicking my ass and then launched into your equivalent of "nudes?" He responded "lol"

I said except it's not funny and just ghosted the shit out of him. Jfc. Thank god I'm Bi, I'm about to not even have any male friends at this rate, not worth the hassle lmao. And men, don't come for me. You'd be tired too if you got the messages we do constantly 🙃

Invonnative · 2022-07-16T23:46:36+00:00

All this can be boiled down to the the principle of reciprocation. Initiate, wait for response. Reassess approach. Repeat.

One_Push_8445 · 2022-08-05T15:35:34+00:00

I vouch for this list so much this actually is "the what not to do" while getting a girl

Title	Nice Guy texting behaviors to avoid
Author	MO_drps_knwldg
Upvotes	955
Comments	179
Date	July 10, 2022 2:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vvs7u1/nice_guy_texting_behaviors_to_avoid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/nice-guy-texting-behaviors-to-avoid.1254845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254845

Comments