What incentive someone who belongs to a negatively stereotyped group like men has to behave well or he's still going to be judged by the stereotype?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-10-31T16:41:50+00:00

Here is the thing about negative views and judgmental views: you are never going to please all the people all the time so stop trying. Be who you are and be firm in what you believe and if that’s an issue for some- they don’t need to be around you.

I come from a city and fan base where we have a literal chant and song. “No one likes us. We don’t care!”

I feel like a lot of young dudes here could use some Philly pride in their lives.

Mauf066 · 2023-10-31T18:27:56+00:00

You need to be way more specific, what kind of good behavior is costly exactly?

Gravel_Roads · 2023-10-31T16:57:01+00:00

Most people have an innate desire to have friends and for the people they spend time with to like them. People judge you mostly by what you say and do.

If you only say and do shitty things, people tend to think of you as shitty, and they don’t like you or want you around. You don’t get invited to parties, you don’t get introduced to peoples friends, you don’t have support when you’re struggling and no one will vouch for you if you’re in hot water.

It’s very hard to enjoy your life when no one likes you

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-10-31T16:35:37+00:00

How is behaving well costly? And while we're at it, define ''behaving well'' because that can be anything from being base-level polite to bending over backward to accommodate everyone.

sometimesthisisweird · 2023-10-31T16:21:48+00:00

So men are by default, a negatively stereotyped group?

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-10-31T20:03:42+00:00

If a man is not a victim does a man even exist?

Justwannaread3 · 2023-10-31T16:58:04+00:00

Are you seriously asking why people should “behave well”????

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-10-31T21:17:39+00:00

Becaues when people knoe you personally, they don't judge you based on stereotypes.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-10-31T20:07:30+00:00

This is a hot take on a sub that demonizes women constantly

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-10-31T16:27:11+00:00

Behaving well is costly and it's not likely done if there are no social rewards for it.

If you're only being a good person because you expect to be rewarded for it, then you're not a good person.

If you belong to a negatively stereotyped group like men, what's the reason to try to act dissimilarly to the stereotypes if 1) by default that stereotype is true but 2) people can act otherwise of they want to.

Your argument is "the stereotypes are true and I have no reason to act differently?"

Dstar538888 · 2023-11-01T16:48:33+00:00

You guys write things like this and then act surprised when women are suspicious of you 🌝

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-10-31T19:09:24+00:00

"behaving well is costly"

Well that's a laugh.

I suggest the men who feel this way experiment with being even bigger assholes and find out what it is to be not merely disliked as an example of your gender by some people who mostly don't know you personally or have any direct impact on you... but personally disliked by most of the people who know you personally.

Do it boy. I'm enthralled and want to see how you deal with it once you've burned through everyone who ever cared about you. There's guys who can handle that...and guys who think maleness not being regarded as a totally positive thing is just ruining everything for them already are not among that group of guys.

Go on. I'm waiting eagerly for updates.

AriesProductions · 2023-10-31T20:02:17+00:00

Selfish, self-centered questions & mindsets like this is why so many men have to deal with negative stereotypes. You’re literally saying if it’s not beneficial to you personally, or you’re not getting “rewarded” you don’t see the point to being a basically decent person.

If you think “being a violent sex obsessed cheating pig” is justified because some people have this negative stereotype and you don’t personally get “rewarded” for not being one, you’re a very large part of the problem. Like, a huge part of it.

MistyMaisel · 2023-10-31T17:30:50+00:00

Why does anyone do good and right things? Because they're good and right and they want to be good and right people.

If the only reason you do good and right things is to be positively received by your community, you don't want to be a good person, you want to be a popular person who is well received by the public and also gets everything they want.

If that's your goal, go for it. I just think you're a terrible human and I would refuse to receive you well under any circumstances and basically I'd be right about you being shitty, just wrong on the reasons why. Either way, stereotyping you would have worked, just not for the right reasons. But I'm ok with that system personally. I'm glad if I filter out shitty people, I don't really need to be right about why they're shitty.

bionicmook · 2023-11-01T15:52:01+00:00

Can I ask, is there a specific behavior or character trait you have that you feel is viewed negatively by women or society as a whole? A trait you have to suppress?

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-10-31T19:12:22+00:00

AWALT according to this sub. I love how men here like to pretend that men are so victimized by society while they do the same shit.

ATasteofTx214 · 2023-11-01T03:55:13+00:00

There is no human being on earth that is allowed to exist free from judgment and criticism. Live your life according to your own integrity.

John_Oakman · 2023-10-31T15:57:24+00:00

Paying penance for the sins of others obviously. Hence males paying for the sins of real men and the patriarchy. By paying said penance they can temporarily alleviate the the mental anguish of those who are oppressed by those same men and the patriarchy.

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-11-01T02:00:39+00:00

A negatively stereotyped group like say WOMEN

NarwhalsInTheLibrary · 2023-11-01T09:32:21+00:00

if "social rewards" are the only thing stopping you from being an asshole, then..... you're an asshole.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-10-31T22:53:25+00:00

Men are fine, the negative stereotypes are just farts in the breeze.

Stop paying attention to cat ladies and radfems rants.

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PMmeareasontolive · 2023-10-31T19:58:58+00:00

Because of the Theory of Justice. We try to create the kind of world we would like to live in if we had no idea what our role in that world would be beforehand (and of course because our family, friends, tribe, nation, other affiliation group, humanity, occupy those roles).

Altruistic_Memories · 2023-11-01T00:17:49+00:00

If you're gonna go nuts, and not be a good little boy anymore, do you think you can somehow get on one of the late(late) shows?

nectarinepiss · 2023-11-01T00:23:30+00:00

morals ?

jesustan1989 · 2023-11-02T19:41:49+00:00

the reaction to good men and bad guys are not the same. If you think that it's the same, you need to get out more. The real world if not the echo chamber that is the internet.

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