Spending 50/50

Incarnate24 · 2024-06-29T23:33:12+00:00

I pay for dates but I don’t do romantic dinners & expensive things like that until we’re exclusive LTR.

Still remember where i took my ex-wife on our first ever date together.

Bojangles.

Organic_Ad256 · 2024-06-29T23:07:10+00:00

Not at all. I don't base my masculinity on paying for women. In fact, it offends me (and I imagine a lot of men too) when it is implied or stated that I should pay for women to spend time with them.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-06-29T23:11:11+00:00

For me it's about effort. It is feels like I'm doing all the work it feels more like I'm trying to convince you to give me a chance rather than us dating to see if we like each other.

JonMyMon · 2024-06-30T02:22:24+00:00

No, I don’t feel emasculated when going 50/50 cause I haven’t bought in to bullshit gender roles.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-06-30T03:08:20+00:00

I always did cheap first dates and offered to pay, but if she wanted to split it wasn't a problem. A lot of women like to split so that they don't feel like they owe the guy anything, which I get.

Maractop · 2024-06-29T23:26:50+00:00

I get my money up and pay for them, so they can keep being and feeling like the soft women they are !

Why do they need your money for them to keep doing what they were already doing?

I wouldnt feel emasculated by having a partner who I split expenses with. I feel like women more than men feel negative about splitting stuff with partners. If they had the option I think most would have the guy pay for everything.

Kinda sad that a man spending money is the only way some people think a man can care for a woman.

grumud · 2024-06-29T22:37:03+00:00

I want a partner that is my equal. Not above, not below.

Going 50/50, is viewing my partner as an equal. If they don't like that, they need to find someone who puts them on a pedastal or views them as beneath them.

Wing_Puzzleheaded · 2024-06-30T00:28:06+00:00

Nope. I feel appreciated.

rychbe · 2024-06-30T01:36:58+00:00

Why is paying for someone a sign of masculinity to you?

I get my money up and pay for them, so they can keep being and feeling like the soft women they are!

If someone's personal status as feminine or masculine is in any way altered by who pays on a date, then they probably arent very secure in their identity. It's kind of silly actually. Imagine a soft and calming person, and then when they dont get their things paid for by someone else, they can no longer continue being and feeling soft. That's a child.

PiastriPs3 · 2024-06-30T02:13:27+00:00

Im an egalitarian so I split when I'm dating. It lets me filter out all the hypocritical princesses who believe in liberation for me but not for thee. Im not interested in a traditional relationship, I like cooperation among equals. Im not a dominant man nor do I have the desire to be one. Im glad men on this thread are adamant about having boundaries which includes splitting the bill.

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-06-29T22:50:12+00:00

First date she's still a stranger and you have no guarantee there will be a second date. Considering how so many women now date around, I'm not looking to pay for any dates outside of a relationship.

biscuitcatapult · 2024-06-29T23:14:03+00:00

First, I don’t feel emasculated when I go 50/50, or even when she occasionally pays.

But beyond that, I’m open to both 50/50 and being the provider, depending on the woman or relationship, since I’m privileged enough to be financially secure.

Some women want to be treated equally, as a partner; those are the ones that I do 50/50 with (they also want to split).

Some women want to be taken care of, and play the submissive role. I have no problem paying their way, but they need to demonstrate what they bring to the table to make it worth my time. And no, ladies, looking cute and being in your presence is not worth as much as you think.

dugongone · 2024-06-30T01:34:55+00:00

The more she contributes financially towards a 50/50 the more i respect her and feel respected and valued as a person.

If she doesn't spontaneously offer to pay or to split on the first date, then it's a yellow flag. If she doesn't even try to reach for her purse when I'm paying, then it's a red flag.

If she lets me pay on the first date but doesn't offer to pay on the second, then it's a red flag.

If she expects her man to pay for all dates (it happened twice), then depending on my level of horniness and on how much I already invested in this bullshit, I might either ghost her, or fuck her and then search for decent person. I will treat her no better than an escort.

If she is broke.. well, I don't date broke people. In the ultra-rare case I make an exception, then we will mostly go for free and chill dates until she has a job

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-06-30T00:17:38+00:00

I'd have no problem in established relationship and people going 50/50 is usually a first date kind of scenario, because usually they don't know how things will turn out with the other person in which case they don't want to feel as if they just wasted their money, and women now days can afford just as much as men. In fact I've known girls who prefer 50/50 as a no strings attached type of deal, and I don't really see any connections between 50/50 and feminine or masculine capacity.

ilContedeibreefinti · 2024-06-30T00:13:25+00:00

lol no woman has ever spent money on me. Ever.

Inomaker · 2024-06-30T02:39:04+00:00

I don't care about concepts of masculinity or femininity. My decision making doesn't even involve how masculine or feminine it might be. The only reason I have ever offered to pay is due to an expectation that I do.

Bro_with_passport · 2024-06-30T04:01:23+00:00

That’s where the MRA-leaning and tradcon-leaning guys diverge, hence why you’ve likely heard a lot of discussion on this topic. I’m squarely leaning on the tradcon side, I’d be a little put off if a woman tried to go Dutch.

Ylduts · 2024-06-30T08:00:03+00:00

I pay but I want a traditional woman. I’m not going to be a traditional man for a modern woman. Does that make sense?

Involved_Currently · 2024-06-30T16:11:59+00:00

No I feel liberated

I feel liberated from social pressures and like I can actually sort out the terms of my relationship with the individual infront of me, based on how we see fit.

I know lots of relationships where the women pays, and couples dont keep track, or where the women pays when she is the one that wants to do the thing in company. Been like that for me too. I like it.

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-07-03T15:42:00+00:00

You have to remember why men do this, sex. Not validation, not being masculine, not being dominant, not any such things. It is sex and that's it. These are just paths to obtain sex.

There is no "waiting for next month" for sex, you either get it now or you will have to deal with your happiness and productivity being trash until you obtain it. So we pay in hopes of increasing our chances of obtaining sex (cause you may attest to it, it helps).

The thing is, that paying for up to 20 dates on a month and having to sometimes have to deal with up to 4 women in a single sunday cause you need sex can get extremely expensive, tiring and time consuming.

We dont really care about being "emasculated" or being "dominant" or what have you. We just care about results. That is why no guy ever cared about being a house husband, they are just deeply scared of ever being sexless.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-06-29T23:30:13+00:00

I always offer to pay 100%. I usually turn down the first offer to split as well and only agree if they insist. They almost never do. But when they do I don't feel emasculated at all. I don't think it's inherently masculine to pay for everything and I tend to be involved with women who have good careers and income. I offer to pay because I want to be generous and because of cultural norms.

The few who have insisted on paying 50/50? Some of them have been some of the most gentle, feminine, and even submissive women I have been with. They may want to have that dynamic for much of the relationship but they want to engage as equals for practical matters. I appreciate their principles.

For the women I pay 100% for, some of them have been that classic feminine lady who play that role to perfection. Some of them are very traditional, which isn't my style, but it's ok. Others are entitled divas who believe men should give them everything for merely existing as a woman. No thanks.

Edit: I didn't mean to suggest that all women who accept me paying 100% are either very traditional or entitled divas, in case it seemed like this. Most do not fit into either of these categories and most women at least offer to split, even if they very quickly accept my offer to pay. The entitled diva thing is revealed in other things they say or do. Merely accepting a man's offer to pay, or even expecting it, does not put a woman in this category by itself, in my opinion.

63daddy · 2024-06-30T00:48:49+00:00

Overall, I have provided more financially in relationships, and have often paid for first dates, but I certainly don’t find a woman who believes in equality and fairness to be at all emasculating.

If anything people (men or women) who expect others to provide for them comes across as rather selfish. It’s one thing for me to decide to help someone else financially, it’s quite another for someone to feel entitled to my help. While it doesn’t bother me that I provide more financially, I find nothing at all attractive about a gold digger.

philseven12 · 2024-06-30T06:09:40+00:00

Paying for women ain't the problem. it's paying for ungrateful, clout chasing women who have the attention span of a goldfish.

Many women operate themselves like a live service subscription model. so what dude wants to invest time or money into someone that's try to finesse the front and backend of every interaction with a man?

Women out here diabolical like the green goblin

Qwertyy123098 · 2024-06-30T00:33:54+00:00

So my questions are : don’t you feel emasculated when going 50/50 ?

Don’t you feel masculated when you vote? Don’t you feel masculated when you have your own bank account? Don’t you feel musculated when you have your own career apart from child raising? Why are men expected to abide by traditional gender roles, but women aren’t?

gusGus86_ · 2024-06-29T22:28:48+00:00

Do you think women date you the same way they date men? Whether you are bi or not?

Dating women, doesn’t make you suddenly understand the thought process of men.

It’s a dumb theory. Lol

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PMmeareasontolive · 2024-06-29T23:14:28+00:00

It's a good question. Does going half really make a woman less feminine? Or less "submissive"? Is that a very traditional view that most women in a progressive city aren't going to share? Are there other ways to do the more traditional gender role play thing if that's what you and she are into? Or does it have to extend to paying for her?

It is a fiscal thing in part. I'd pay for everyone if I was made of money. I'd pay for her if I had a lot of $. Unfortunately I'm a working peasant, so it's largely 50/50.

abaxeron · 2024-06-30T09:02:55+00:00

I don’t understand men complaining about having to pay

Have you ever been scammed?

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-06-30T12:30:34+00:00

Women today are asking for “equal partners” en masse.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

If I’m paying for everything, then she is 100% on my program.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-06-30T13:51:58+00:00

I don't base my masculinity on how much I pay for women, I base it on my behaviour towards them. She is a stranger to me on the first date, so i don't find a reason why I should pay for her. A simple coffee is fine but if she wants full meals in a restaurant, then sorry honey, you pay your share. I kay for her only when we are exclusive.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2024-06-30T23:59:52+00:00

If a woman needs to be babied like that to feel soft and feminine I don’t give a shit how she feels. She should learn how to feel soft and feminine without being a total freeloader.

do I feel emasculated when going 50/50

No my masculinity is not that fragile

CraftyCooler · 2024-06-30T00:20:40+00:00

I was always paying, but if there was no proposal to go 50/50 on a first date, it was obvious that she is not a future wife. I was never wrong.

thedarkracer · 2024-06-30T01:17:02+00:00

In this day and age why not go 50/50? You earn right?

purplish_possum · 2024-06-29T23:20:53+00:00

I expect just as much from women as I do from men (I'm a hard core feminist). I don't mind paying for the 1st date but if she doesn't at least offer to pay for the second date she's getting downgraded to short-term fun only.

AidsVictim · 2024-06-30T00:03:20+00:00

Yes I generally just pay for the date without really thinking about it. I never understood some mens obsession with this.

And otherwise I’d feel emasculated.

Well frankly you aren't masculine despite whatever role you're playing. Seems like more of an ego thing? I probably wouldn't think anything of it if a woman wanted to pay 50/50 (I've never had a woman offer this except as an obvious courtesy).

So my questions are : don’t you feel emasculated when going 50/50 ? And with what type of women are you going 50/50 with ? Are they really the women you want ? If so why don’t you want to take care of them as the dominant person in the relationship ?

I don't do it because I expect to be the "dominant" person in the relationship. I do it because women are generally more anxious and less financially capable/assertive and most dates are cheap enough that I just pay the bill to skip the hassle of dealing with those "constraints".

Title	Spending 50/50
Author	Affectionate-Ad5096
Upvotes	0
Comments	199
Date	June 29, 2024 10:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1drmax3/spending_5050/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/spending-5050.1522806 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522806

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