I told a girl I wouldn't have sex with her because she was too drunk.

Hypersapien · 2012-08-21T01:34:31+00:00

Do you really care that much about the opinion of a drunk girl?

If she still thinks you're an asshole after she sobers up, that's a different story.

upfordays · 2012-08-21T01:50:26+00:00

You obviously did the right thing and she was just pissed that she was horny and not getting any... you just talk to her again and hang out without getting too shitfaced, it's not that hard to act like a decent human being, don't act like you're in this terrible paradox where you're fucked either way.

Noonegotmyname · 2012-08-21T09:31:47+00:00

I had a similar experience with a girl I used to know. She however, was grateful for being brought home, and thanked me the next day.

I'd say your experience is reflective of her quality, not yours.

You seem to be defining yourself there by how she sees you.

Don't.

SteelCrossx · 2012-08-21T02:56:37+00:00

I honestly expected to see the following.

She called me a faggot.

walk_through_this · 2012-08-21T05:19:43+00:00

Haha, if she was too drunk for sex, she was also too drunk to make accurate judgement calls on your moral character. Don't worry about it.

HeyZuesHChrist · 2012-08-21T13:11:48+00:00

I remember when my last girlfriend told me she was 3 weeks late, then when I refused to sleep with her two minutes later, with no protection, she lost her fucking mind. She also tried to force me, physically, to have sex with her. Luckily, I'm about ten thousands times stronger than her.

Wolvenfire86 · 2012-08-21T09:37:07+00:00

Good on you man, but she was drunk. Don't take that shit seriously.

Scott2508 · 2012-08-21T12:34:02+00:00

this is actually something I give you major props for and i would suggest to everyone to do the same, if a woman has had any alchol passing her lips she is a danger as it can be considerd rape , its just not worth the risk .

VirSaturnA · 2012-08-21T08:08:29+00:00

Wait and see what she says the next day when she's sober? Explain your concerns and maybe she will apologize and appreciate what you did. If she still thinks you're an asshole for that then she's a nutjob.

ExpendableOne · 2012-08-21T14:04:09+00:00

Well, she obviously thought she was in a state to make that choice and give her consent, and you took that choice away from her because you believed she wasn't in a position to take it; which is kind of an asshole thing to do. Historically, though, it seems society and feminism are pretty adamant that women can't be held responsible for any actions they make, and their consent is null and void, while self-inebriated, so you probably made the safer call. It's a catch-22 situation though(you're an asshole for refusing her, not meeting her needs and not taking her word as inscrutable or an asshole for taking advantage of her with your vile tool of oppression; either way she's the victim and you're a malevolent pig /s) and the only way you could have come out of it without being an "asshole" is by completely reading her mind, both in that moment and in the future, and establishing exactly what she would have wanted before and after she sobered up.

sensavergogna · 2012-08-21T17:12:55+00:00

She was probably embarrassed for being called out for being in such a state. Nice job on being the bigger person, and she probably will feel different in the morning. If she doesn't, than she was just looking for a quick lay and (unless you want that) pass her up.

McFeely_Smackup · 2012-08-21T17:46:44+00:00

So, what the hell a I supposed to do so that I'm NOT an ass-hole?

How about just own it and run it to the ground.

"Look, I just don't want to have sex with you"

"you're an asshole"

"It's not me, it's you. You are well below my minimum standards of attractiveness, and I can already smell your vagina from here"

rbcrusaders · 2012-08-21T05:51:36+00:00

(I've posted this before... buuut)

Rule 1 we were taught in the Army, and I hold it true to this day.

If she has had ONE DRINK then DO NOT TOUCH HER.

Simple as that. Sucks, yes. System's broken, yes.

Only way to keep your ass safe, yes.

buylocal745 · 2012-08-21T02:45:53+00:00

Good on you, Jim.

deletedLink · 2012-08-21T13:29:11+00:00

We can't win in these illogical situations.

Deacon · 2012-08-21T14:48:58+00:00

She called you an asshole? So what? She was drunk.

You did the right thing. You don't need validation from a drunk girl about that. Or us, for that matter.

2012-08-21T05:58:14+00:00

Tell her that her being drunk means that you could be accused of RAPE, because her precious self was incapable of consenting.

Jesus_marley · 2012-08-21T03:43:42+00:00

cut off my junk...

It's called a lopitophomy.

cthulufunk · 2012-08-21T04:05:02+00:00

Pretty much. Your choices are asshole or rapist. Express frustration at having to act like someone you're not, and you're a "transmisogynist" too. They have to INVENT new words on top of the ones that already exist to shame and belittle you. You can do nothing right, someone will find offense in anything you say, so fuck em, it's better to be an asshole.

You did the right thing.

Leinadro · 2012-08-21T03:41:55+00:00

What the hell are you supposed to do? Nothing. That's it. You have just as much right to say no to her sexual advances as she does to yours. It doesn't matter why you don't want to have sex with her (so don't waste time on people saying you're trying to dodge a false rape claim, although that hold merit) fact of the matter is you don't.

My advice? Make sure she is somewhere safe (like with friends/family) and leave her ass. And don't be scared to call the cops. If you call the police on your terms and explain what's going on it reduces the chances of being accused later. Good luck to her accusing you of raping her when your alibi comes in the form of a cop that was called out to the scene.

And I agree I think the transgender jab was a bit much.

HalfysReddit · 2012-08-21T12:35:47+00:00

"Nope, sorry, you're drunk and I don't trust you enough to not claim rape tomorrow morning when you're sober. Come talk to me when you're sober and I'll fuck your brains out, but as long as you're drunk you're off-limits."

jay76 · 2012-08-21T15:16:18+00:00

Who calls someone an asshole for not wanting to have sex with them?

Personally I'm more likely to shrink away in embarrassment.

2012-08-21T21:38:56+00:00

On a similar story to the OP. A very attractive women, one of my friends, leaned in for a kiss at a bar in very trashed state. I leaned her back and made sure her friends were with her and called it a night.

So decades later...

I'm married and on facebook she wrote to the effect, "Wow, you landed him? We were beginning to wonder..."

So rejection hurts OP and when people are drunk they are irrational about it. Sadly with above mentioned woman the only interaction I had around her was with alcohol and I just don't roll that way. That gave that crowd a perception I might be gay or maybe her particular and she had a little ax to grind. All good, cause I know she's a great person and not homophobic unlike some special snow flake below. In fact this special lady was witnessed kissing another lady on the dance the dance floor and for us young bucks in those days that was rather exciting and quite the talk.

TL;DR sigh... if only she hadn't been drunk...

Theophagist · 2012-08-21T09:28:54+00:00

Fuck alcohol anyhow. I won't hang with a chick who drinks.

zeanoth · 2012-08-21T01:53:12+00:00

That was a very unnecessary jab at trans women...

drinkthebleach · 2012-08-21T05:40:27+00:00

A FREE asshole.

roland3337 · 2012-08-21T05:51:26+00:00

Anyone that would verbally abuse you like that, is a dangerous woman, that tried to put you in a dangerous situation. One that could have landed you in jail, dealing with a rape accusation. You did the right thing.

rightsbot · 2012-08-21T01:26:18+00:00

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Gold_Leaf_Initiative · 2012-08-22T06:10:40+00:00

Drunk people get REALLY fixated on things.

kazagistar · 2012-08-25T10:16:27+00:00

"Sorry babe, but if you decide for whatever reason later that this consensual sex was actually rape, I can have the rest of my life totally ruined... hey, maybe you should support reform of those laws if you like doing this sorta thing, aye?"

Grapeban · 2012-08-21T01:59:16+00:00

And for every good person point you earned for not having sex with drunk people, you lose for casual transmisogyny! Oh well, you tried.

FriarTuck1234 · 2012-08-21T05:20:54+00:00

Talk to her again, maybe she called you that in a drunken horny way. Later when she is sober she may thank you.

OuiCrudites · 2012-08-21T04:53:30+00:00

Good for you.

But I can't fathom why you made that nasty comment about transgendered.

rottingchrist · 2012-08-21T04:24:58+00:00

So, what the hell a I supposed to do so that I'm NOT an ass-hole?

Who cares what some drunk cunt thinks.

I guess the only answer these days is to cut off my junk and call myself transgender

Are you trolling?

AnthonyZarat · 2012-08-21T03:20:44+00:00

You should refuse to have sex with her because she is a woman, not because she is drunk.

Buy yourself a sex toy, it is much safer, and also more honest.

rbcrusaders · 2012-08-23T21:15:53+00:00

Breaking news! Shitfaced people say rude things without thought that they may later regret!

This is in no way related to men's rights, you are just whining about your bruised ego.

Deacon · 2012-08-21T05:25:16+00:00

I think try to "turn" bi. There is a decent amount of research that most people are at least somewhat bi. I am bi but honestly more attracted on average to women (I am pickier about what men I find attractive). However I am now mostly focused on men and this is working out much better.

VerySpecialSnowflake · 2012-08-21T14:00:20+00:00

Good for you, doing the minimum thing possible for you not to be a rapist and an asshole! I know that is really out of the ordinary here! Bonus wooo points for transphobia!

Title	I told a girl I wouldn't have sex with her because she was too drunk.
Author	rbcrusaders
Upvotes	110
Comments	207
Date	August 21, 2012 1:25 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/yk0z8/i_told_a_girl_i_wouldnt_have_sex_with_her_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-told-a-girl-i-wouldnt-have-sex-with-her-because.1015422 https://theredarchive.com/post/1015422

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