Always keep your coins snatched

ComicStrip_69 · 2021-08-30T19:00:34+00:00

A woman in my family had a joint account with her husband. They were saving up money to start a business. One day they got into a fight, he drained the account and walked away. Don’t share your hard earned money with anyone.

kandiirene · 2021-08-30T20:37:52+00:00

Interesting. These co-workers don’t seem financially literate. Women need to learn more about money for so many reasons but because let’s face it, financial literacy is a source of power.

Also, we need to normalize talking about money. For instance to co-workers, companies exploit women by paying them less than their peers and the company gets away with it because no one talks about it.

Why wouldn’t I have financial expectations and boundaries that are respectful within my relationship.

My husband makes a lot more money then I do. He is good at saving and good with money. He has always been generous and fair in ways that I expect.

There’s a part of me that doesn’t 100% feel as if his money is my money. I need to work on that.

But we’re open and communicating about our finances weekly.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-08-30T19:10:17+00:00

Both of my (happily married) parents support this, but my HVM father was the one that really hammered it home when I was growing up.

I remember him telling me to always have my own "fuck off fund", from the time I was little, because "women need to protect themselves first & foremost." Once I got the speech while my mom was flipping through a book in an adjacent room, pretending she couldn't hear us. I asked him if my mom had that too, and he said, "I'm sure she does, sweetheart; I married a smart woman"... just to look over and see her mid-smirk, fighting laughter, hahaha.

Yeah, she had a MASSIVE fuck-off fund, not that she ever ended up needing it, bless him.

Anyways, snatch them coins ladiesssss 👌😘

GCFDSthrowaway · 2021-08-30T18:34:57+00:00

These dolts don't realize how easy it is to walk into a bank and wipe out an account. A joint account. The 'division of assets' laws are great, but getting back your half of the money can take MONTHS - and thousands of dollars you no longer have access to.

Keep. Your. Own. Accounts.

BananaSlugGhost · 2021-08-30T20:01:02+00:00

If you don’t combine accounts, your money from before the marriage is 100% yours. Once you mingle accounts, it’s marital property. Don’t do it.

ConstantNurse · 2021-08-31T02:11:02+00:00

Girls, please make sure to have a bank account with money that only you can access should shit hit the fan. You guys can have a shared expenses account "food, utilies etc" but keep an account just for you.

I say this for all relationships regardless of how much you or your S.O. makes. Especially so in the case of huge income disparity, where the power dynamic can be thrown off. I was caught in a situation where I did not have that flexibility and if I had, I would have been able to leave so much earlier than I did. He partially hid his finances from me and always claimed to not have money which lead me to pay for things that he didn't pay for.

Keep in mind, scrotes will pull the "planned poverty" card in which they prey on your sympathy to buy things for them. An example would be them wearing shoes with holes in them because they refuse to buy new ones (because they are too poor) but make sure to wear those ones around you to get you to eventually buy a new pair of shoes out of pity.

Be mindful of their tricks, ladies.

hotnbotheredd · 2021-08-30T19:10:51+00:00

Men are gold diggers. They seek out HVW with good jobs from upper class families because they know it’ll raise their status and guarantee them an easy ride in life. Not to mention the bragging points they’d get for landing a woman like that to his NV friends.

Even women who don’t come from good families and don’t make a lot of money raise a man’s status due to the fact that we MAKE the table, while they struggle to bring anything to it at all

europoor24 · 2021-08-31T00:09:18+00:00

My zvm father would receive money from family intended for us and never tell my mother or spend it on us. Always have your own money ladies.

throwawayastrogirl · 2021-08-31T01:29:31+00:00

The famous "Fuck you" fund. Love it.

stackofwits · 2021-08-31T02:40:38+00:00

Like my mama always told me, “don’t you ever depend on a man.” 💅🏻

bombay_girl · 2021-08-31T06:45:26+00:00

My dad is my financial guru, and he is the one who taught me and my sister to have a portion of investments and savings and keep it secret from our future husbands. He always says, having her own money empowers a woman to live a life on her own terms - and truer words were never spoken.

GlitterLoveAngel · 2021-08-30T18:31:34+00:00

I am so sick of the 50/50 bs. Men throw a tantrum and expect you to spilt the bills 50/50 and hell they even expect the pregnancy costs to be 100% your responsibility even though they believe that everyone was a sperm and that life is stored in the balls and the egg only holds the baby. They also throw tantrums when the court supposedly favors women and let mothers have custody but in reality men barely do anything for their children and will break things and act as though it’s such a burden if they get asked to change a diaper and take the kids to school.

Yet housecare, cooking, holiday planning, child care, etc? Absolutely not 50/50. It all falls onto the woman and men think that mowing the lawn is equal to everything that his girlfriend does.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-08-31T03:21:29+00:00

Never tell a man how much you got in the bank. Find out how much he has and claim to have a lot less. Thus you avoid the gold digging bro hoes.

snowwhite224 · 2021-08-30T21:00:42+00:00

I read a comment a while back somewhere on the sub, that went like “his money is OUR money, and her money is her money”

I asked my mom about it. She said when her and my dad got married, she didn’t pay for hardly anything. He paid all the bills. She still worked. And when I came along, she went to the mall and bought every outfit and baby item imaginable 😂. And she was always spoiling herself with handbags, clothes and things for the house. This set up is the only one that makes sense to me.

katiekat0214 · 2021-08-30T18:29:23+00:00

I always kept finances separate with both husbands. And as much as I loved both of them, money is money, and I own my Scots heritage. (Had to learn about credit cards and spending, but I think a lot of people have that story.)

Being older, I'd insist on separate housing and separate finances, just because of this. They are the gold diggers. Any talk of money really shows people's true colors. Talk money, learn about money, be transparent that you know about money. If that makes any man uncomfortable, you know he's not the one. A HVM would be relieved you know how to budget, how to invest, that you have checking, savings, ideally investments, too. A L/NVM will be uncomfortable, angry, resentful, because he would have no leverage to manipulate.

And then you walk, whistling into the night, counting your Benjamins and smiling.

bookworm1896 · 2021-08-31T05:33:23+00:00

My parents drilled this into me. My mum was a Stay at home wife, which was common for her generation in my home country. Still she had an own account where my father paid her a certain sum from his income every month, seperated from their shared account. Besides he did everything possible to secure her finances. Still both of them knew how dangerous it is for a woman to be financially dependent and they both always advocated that I should have my own career, etc.

With my husband I have a shared account and we both of us have an account of our own. We recently bought a house and I insisted that we lay down which amount of our saving both of us invested (my husband had inherited money from his mother, my father gave some money to me). To protect both of us (my husband invested a higher sum).

You'll never know what is going to happen in the future and it is better to be safe than sorry

echo-bean · 2021-08-31T00:37:52+00:00

My husband and I have separate accounts and don't plan on merging them and it's outstanding. Not a single fight over money and no reason to try and justify silly purchases that the other could think a waste. We are both responsible with money so it's a great set up.

Elena1684 · 2021-08-31T00:08:49+00:00

My stbxh wiped out our savings before leaving. He was a good provider and he made more money than me. I paid the bills but he planned his exit for quite a while. He knew exactly what he was doing.

ShyShimmer · 2021-08-31T11:42:50+00:00

I have never understood why prenups are seen as a bad thing, from either side. Even as a kid, when I had the concept explained to me I just saw it as a logical thing to do, even more so now as an adult knowing that half of marriages end in divorce.

ThrowawayCompassion · 2021-08-31T13:38:00+00:00

The ONLY reason I didn’t end up homeless when my nvm scrote unexpectedly randomly discarded me was I scrimped and saved and tucked away a couple thousand bucks he didn’t know about, and I had a good friend and her family take me in with their family business. I used the money to move and set up my life.

He drained me and took almost everything from me, including a cat he killed and a great vehicle. I spent thousands keeping his greedy ass happy. It makes me feel intense shame and resentment.

financial abuse is so so so hard to untangle from, save your coins ladies!!

AbbyDean1985 · 2021-08-31T14:48:31+00:00

When my husband and I had bern married for about six months, we finally got around to banking together. I added him to my checking account. I had a separate savings account and didn't add him to that. Technically, that is "our" money, but he has no ability to access it. We use it for big joint purchases that are discussed beforehand (and we discuss any purchase over $50). I trust him, but I love me more than I trust him.

lifesok · 2021-08-31T16:56:19+00:00

People always get bent out of shape over a prenup. What they don’t realize is that you already have one, it’s your state’s laws. You might as well Wright down how you want things to go should you break up, while you still like each other.

ThxFDS · 2021-08-30T22:11:52+00:00

Just want to say thanks to this sub for giving me the words to articulate why I always intuited that it was a terrible idea to date/marry a man who makes less than you.

TumbleweedForeign699 · 2021-08-31T18:09:23+00:00

I have a question relating to this subject - if you are married but want to get a divorce, and your joint income / savings in accounts are added together and split in half to get the even split of assets - if I earn more do I lose money? And if I keep £10k in a private account somewhere I thought for a divorce you have to declare it bc you have to declare everything, and it all gets split up anyway? I want to know if this is true as it’s really been putting me off marriage lol. I thought in a court of law, the done thing is to combine it all then split 50/50 and no prenup can make sure this happens at divorce bc it’s essentially against the principles of marriage (to remain entirely financially separate) ?? Or have I got it wrong please lmk if there is a possibility to remain financially separate

lolmemberberries · 2021-09-01T00:14:13+00:00

Amen. You should always have a Fuck Off Fund. Money gives us choices.

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