I can't get over how society shames women for expecting men to pay for dates but they never shame men for using women for sex.

Frogspocket · 2021-09-08T22:41:50+00:00

They also use us to boost their careers and make all that "gold" in the first place. They're the real "gold diggers", women are just the tools which do the digging. Some of us are tools that manage their household for them, some of us are shiny tools that they use to impress their bosses, some of us are tools they use to extract ego boosts.

The full version of this is a long, painful story but basically AFTER my ex and I split he helped me buy a house. He insisted that it was "fair". His reasoning was that dating me helped his "image" so much that he never would have made it as far as he did without me. I accepted the money (hard not to) but it made me feel really mentally unwell at the time. I didn't fully understand the scope of why it made me feel so awful until going to therapy years later. Basically he used me to impress his loser misogynist role models who in turn helped him succeed, and then paid me off to alleviate his guilt. Feels horrible.

andwhenwillitbegin · 2021-09-08T18:23:40+00:00

I think we should normalise calling those sorts of men “sex diggers”. I am interested to see what people’s reactions to me saying that will be… And yet, I somehow already know… 🤡🔫

ceilingkatwatchesus · 2021-09-09T02:38:12+00:00

I noticed the men who scream about a meal costing more than McDonalds dollar menu as gold diggers. Tells me that you actually have no gold to dig. My brother never ever calls his wife, me or any females in his life gold diggers. He actually deposits half of his check in his wife’s separate bank acct. In case anything happens to him. She and his daughter will be ok. Also, pays for all the bills and food in the home. Even when they were dating my sister-in-law never had to pay for any dates and vacations they went on. She was so shocked about his behavior until my sister-in law met me. My mother however is semi-pick me unfortunately.

djfrankenjuice · 2021-09-08T18:36:11+00:00

I’m always flabbergasted at the expectation of sex after someone pays for a meal.

Like ok I spent $10-20 Ubering here, same back home, I spent time and money on my hair, make-up, clothes and general upkeep to look presentable here (my gym+hair is a small fortune) but nahhhh you paid $20 for some mediocre tacos so I definitely owe you sex now.

Mathematically, at that point have I not just gotten a rebate on how much I’ve spent? Why the hell would I owe him anything?

Also based upon the $ cost, and the time cost of going on a date with someone, why would anyone think women are just using men for free meals? It’s completely impractical.

cookiemonstergirls · 2021-09-09T03:16:51+00:00

Also using someone for their looks and body is a lot worse than using someone for a free meal. Where I live good resteraunts (not fast food) are still really cheap. Like buying someone a meal would be around 6 to 12 dollars. It is just not a big deal. I have had total strangers pay for my food without me knowing to be kind. It is unbelievable how cheap and stingy modern men have become. I have never been on a first date where the man let me pay even when I offered to pay, however I have only dated 3 guys. Men on the internet, especially reddit are the bottom of the barrel. They expect so much from women but give so little. I remember a quote from Anna Bay “In todays society men have become spoiled and women have become desperate”. It does not help that pick me girls will shame you if you ever say that you think a guy should pay. Even if you say that it is just your preference and that you do not wish to force your opinion on others.

shelballama · 2021-09-08T19:02:20+00:00

It's wild out here. In one thread someone was asked how to split finances with a future husband. I saw (admittedly, could have misread but I don't think I did) someone post that 50/50 labor for house is good, and 50/50 on expenses if they're similar, but if he works 80 hours a week, OP should take over more of the housecare.

I said unless there are pooled resources I don't understand why he should get more $$ for himself and she gets more work to do that is his? They said it freed up time but she isn't getting paid for this. Was downvoted to hell. It blew my mind that people couldn't see why it was bs.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-09-08T18:23:57+00:00

I literally never paid for a date in my life, even when I was engaged. The first time I heard of 50/50 is via reddit and online. I never been asked to pay via a man, and I am confused where are these men. Because I wish a mfer would.

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2021-09-08T19:17:24+00:00

Nobody in my life has ever shamed me for letting men pay for me. My father taught me men should always pay and he would never let a woman pay for a date. I used to offer to split it out of ignorance and only two scrotes ever took me up on it. My current boyfriend refuses to let me pay for anything, as he should.

Sallou9 · 2021-09-09T08:18:15+00:00

I was ranting to my brother about Leonardo Dicaprio (about how its irritating hes never called out and has a perfectly intact reputation, even though his dating behaviour is creepy and shallow, and pathetic and sexist) and he was nodding along, agreeing with me. He agreed it was creepy. He said things like "I would never ever date a 21 year old" (my brother is 30). It all seemed to be going well as far as a conversation like that can with a man.

Then my brother said "Yeah the whole things gross and wrong from everybody involved. Guess its even when everyones behaving badly or weirdly or immorally or shallowly".

I asked him to clarify and he said "Well, obviously the young model girls are only with him for his money, and maybe fame. So its gross all round from everyone, but at the end of the day fair".

FFS.

queeninprogress · 2021-09-09T15:07:24+00:00

Someone I thought was a friend but who I was beginning to develop feelings for recently suggested we be FWB and either men don't understand how devastating it actually is to be told you're good enough for sex but not worth more, or they don't care. It especially hurt coming from someone I thought valued me.

Sex is an intimate thing that comes with a lot of feelings, and expecting someone to not feel hurt about being treated like a sex object just isn't the same level as your everyday scammer looking for a cash grab, I'm sorry but it just isn't. Being treated like you're only good for sex cuts right to the core. If someone scammed me out of £20 (if dinners even cost that much) it would be upsetting but I'd get over it and know I'm eventually going to earn it back. Being treated like a sex object? The pain is actually unreal (and I have no doubt that's why some men do it to us) and it's going to take me a long time to get over this, it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me as a human being that makes men not want to treat me like a person. I know logically the issue is them, not me, but the pain is unimaginable til you experience it for the first time. I will never again do anything NOT by the FDS way, because otherwise I think I'm in for a lot more pain in future.

Muffcakelord · 2021-09-09T01:11:02+00:00

There's a reason theft is more punishable than sexual violence.

Hint: misogyny

Risoa · 2021-09-08T19:17:19+00:00

PREACH. It's so ridiculous how true this is.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-09-09T00:01:56+00:00

When I see men complaining in other groups about women using men for free food I say "Wow, you must be really poor. Do you have a gofund me?"

ChocoBananza · 2021-09-09T08:33:10+00:00

I agree 💯 with you. I’d just like to add that abortion as a procedure is completely painless, during it you’re under total anaesthesia, and after care doesn’t even involve pain killers. Unless you had the misfortune to encounter a butcher instead of a doctor, abortion is perfectly safe and painless.

Source: me, a year an a half ago.

I can't get over how society shames women for expecting men to pay for dates but they never shame men for using women for sex.

Comments

Sex Diggers!!!! 👏🥳👏