Repost from another sub - this just shows how not having high standards is self defeating & we must strive for relationships that benefit us

TikiTikiTata-chalala · 2021-10-18T15:23:53+00:00

I hope she feels these feelings for what they are (temporary and understandable) and doesn't lower her standards for her manipulative soon to be ex. He's leveraging everything to get her to perform as a pick-me, and yes 'lots' of women will vye for the spot, but make no mistake- that man will never be happy till he has a VR game he can turn on and off and a personal robot maid (that can be plugged into the VR game). That's all he used her for and all he complained about not getting -let him go, he's only easy going about this now -take advantage and get it done quickly and in your favor and in a rock solid custody agreement. Also he's probably already started to cheat and that's why he's so confident atm

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-10-18T15:28:53+00:00

“that minor ask was oppressive for him” - THIS.

How many times have we asked for the bare minimum and watch men complain about this being oppressive?!

We’re exhausted and rightfully so.

Technusgirl · 2021-10-18T16:12:15+00:00

I feel really bad for her. Wanting a divorce simply because your partner just wants you to help a little around the house without being a total entitled douche about it seems extremely childish. I think she should go for the divorce and stop feeling sorry for herself. Sure, he can probably get a pick me girl, but even the pick me girls get fed up with their BS after a while.

Who knows, maybe he'll learn what a raging, entitled child he was after she leaves his sorry ass.

This type of behavior I hear all the time from moms. I have been a single mom myself for 18 years and I was terrified of getting pregnant again and was way more responsible with my fertility after I had her. I'm about to turn 39 and I don't want any more kids. If I were to somehow magically get married before menopause hits me, I'm still not having kids. Even when you think you can trust and rely on your partner, they have always let me down and so many other women I know when it comes to raising children.

ceramicunicorn · 2021-10-18T15:25:16+00:00

This is what always scared me about ~~being an incubator for~~ having kids with a man. I would really like to see more women wake up to this, and be in solidarity with each other, like a union. That’s the only way to collectively raise standards.

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-10-18T15:44:05+00:00

I want women to realize that if a man refuses to step up for you and work towards real equity in your relationship, the next woman isn’t getting a prize. He’s not going to make any woman happy, even if she lies to herself that she is, because men don’t actually want women who are pushovers. Show me a man with a stay-at-home bang maid and you’ll see a man who resents his partner and is either already cheating or planning to with a more interesting woman. I’ve spent my whole life dodging men with wives they resent.

akashyaboa · 2021-10-18T17:26:39+00:00

This is one of the reasons why I would never date a dad. I doncare how the relationship ended, I don't care if the wife was actually mean, not my problem. And anyway, they can always find someone else, just not me.

Feral_Housewife_ · 2021-10-18T17:27:22+00:00

I hope she realizes that even as a "bitter, disfigured hag" she will be a lot happier without this dickbag. And if she wants there are men out there who are willing to step up to the plate, even for a single mother. I would know, considering I'm also proudly a bitter, disfigured hag. 😁

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-10-18T18:08:55+00:00

Quite a large factor into why I choose not to have children is because men are notorious for never carrying their weight with kids and will leave the second things either get tough or she asks for anything of him.

SupremeDearLeader · 2021-10-18T17:46:51+00:00

Younger me was so beaten down exhausted from doing all the housework, yardwork and taking care of 2 kids up all night/in diapers[ come from a sexist background of : women do all the work while men " relax"] so much so that when my " presence " was required at a " classy" event I barely had any time and was too exhausted to do hair /makeup /outfit ect and my ex talked down to me about my appearance, calling me " plain". New me now says f you , you want me to look money , HELP me AND pay for it.

Madholley · 2021-10-18T15:30:52+00:00

This hurts my heart. I hope the comments are kind to her. Who hasn't been there- asking for equality, which does require work? Being told they can't be bothered. Thank you for posting. Excellent reminder that we should vet hard and be relentless in our standards. Being alone is always preferable to being with a man who will say "We never go on bikerides" after you just birthed a fucking child.

XNjunEar · 2021-10-18T15:38:50+00:00

I hope that with time she comes to realise she is so much better off without those extra pounds of dumb.

kinkardine · 2021-10-18T20:55:06+00:00

Let the trash take itself out, girl! You are losing nothing here. Plus preserving your dignity.

oscine23 · 2021-10-19T00:34:11+00:00

I keep drilling it into my daughter’s head that she doesn’t have to be anyone’s wife, anyone’s mother. I tell her I want her to learn languages and earn her own money and travel and eat good food. She’s only 13 😂

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-10-18T23:53:22+00:00

She's not "asking for too much", he's not even giving the bare minimum.

alpinepunch2021 · 2021-10-19T01:43:22+00:00

Maybe I'm just being overly optimistic, but I don't actually think there are that many pick-me women who'd 'lap his shit up'. Like, the OP of that post just sounds insecure because her marriage just dissolved so she naturally thinks other women would desperately climb over themselves for her ex, but in truth I think most women grow out of their pick-me phase after their teens/early 20s. Like, middle aged divorcees aren't the kind of guys who get pick-mes who are out of their league, it's always 20 year old noncommittal fuckboys.

On the other hand, my neighbour's a woman (divorcee) who's been indefinitely dating this extremely low value guy (unemployed, mentally ill, middle aged, also a divorcee) so maybe it's a slim pickings thing for divorced people and she's right.

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-10-19T12:43:44+00:00

I’m late to this but I had a husband who would actually do housework but that was because he was terminally unemployed. But while I was working/raising the kids he became abusive - not enough attention on him! Then I got sick and he became more abusive because I was at home but physically unable to help with the cleaning. My point? Even when they do clean or care about cleanliness, they will still abuse you for it because it’s “women’s work”. Scrotes gonna scrote!

Title	Repost from another sub - this just shows how not having high standards is self defeating & we must strive for relationships that benefit us
Author	StandPotential
Upvotes	971
Comments	52
Date	October 18, 2021 3:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qaonuk/repost_from_another_sub_this_just_shows_how_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/repost-from-another-sub-this-just-shows-how-not.1078825 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078825

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