Women that won't do sexual acts with you, but had done with previous partners, isn't an indicator she's not attracted to you enough to do them.

Lunar_Compass · 2021-12-08T22:30:54+00:00

Ah shit, here we go again

CriticalEscapeBike · 2021-12-08T23:00:24+00:00

Dude!!!!

Apparently you're dating a woman who fucked her other men upside down in a speeding train, while juggling bowling balls, but refuses to fuck you upside down in a speeding train while juggling bowling balls....because you've asked this question about 39 different fucking ways.

You need to have a meeting with her and ask her why she won't fuck you upside down in a speeding train while juggling bowling balls, go find a damn counselor, or come up with a new question.

midwesternMD · 2021-12-08T23:12:39+00:00

If I’m looking for long term commitment, her comfort should not be my #1 priority. Our comfort should be. And if my sexual pleasure (or displeasure) isn’t able to be reasonably accommodated, then we simply aren’t a match. Would you rather I suppress my desires until I develop enough resentment to leave?

The point that I’ve made is that her reasons for not wanting to do xyz are valid, just as my reasons for leaving because she won’t do xyz with me are valid. And most importantly, how she delivers the message that she wont do xyz with me matters.

Ryanmp99 · 2021-12-08T23:43:36+00:00

Ok is this a joke at this point? Nice try multiple account man

DesperateTraffic3164 · 2021-12-09T00:32:53+00:00

Here's the problem. There might be perfectly valid reasons why someone 'grew out of liking' a sex act. On the other hand, it's not uncommon for women to do certain sex acts with men because they are extremely attracted to them and would do whatever those men wanted, and probably enjoy it.

There is literally no way for men to tell which is which, because many times women themselves don't know. I had an ex girlfriend who I fucked sadistically and she really enjoyed it (shaking orgasms). Later she dated a guy who was a safe stable option. She told me in passing once "I don't like that hardcore stuff anymore, I've grown out of it" obviously inferring she wasn't interested in it in with her current partner. When she and her ex broke up, I fucked her again sadistically and she loved it even more than she did before.

As a man - it could go either way. The smartest thing to do is leave and find a woman who either wants to do those acts with you, or she doesn't want to but has never done them before with anyone.

AreOut · 2021-12-08T22:32:42+00:00

not this thread yet again, that horse is already beaten to death

"I did anal with him but I don't do it with you because yours is much bigger" would solve all these threads for good

ToughAnswers · 2021-12-08T22:37:52+00:00

Your premise

Isn't an indicator she's not attracted to you enough to do them

doesn't seem to match your conclusion

Again, if she doesn't do it for you, because she doesn't find you sexually attractive enough, the leave her. Why are you staying there?

Regardless, the latter is correct. Discard.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-12-08T23:00:06+00:00

OMG you people are STILL Missing it.

This is NOT the issue.

The issue is

"I did X with 15 guys before I met you. I love X!! But, um, oh, Mr. Beta Bux, I love you, and I have CHANGED!! I did X with all those prior guys, but I will not do X with you."

This is NOT about "grew out of liking it". Men have no problem with that as long as she didn't suddenly, fucking YESTERDAY, "grow out of liking it".

This is not about "unhealthy relationship". Because that's not a sudden "change of heart" or a "I love X but I will not do X with you".

This is not about "hate it and thought was normal". Women usually work through that quite early on.

The ONLY thing men really have a problem with is

"I did X with 15 guys before I met you. I love X!! But, um, oh, Mr. Beta Bux, I love you, and I have CHANGED!! I did X with all those prior guys, but I will not do X with you."

That is IT. That is the ONLY thing.

The reason men have a problem with this is because what women are REALLY saying is:

I love X, but I will not do X with you, because you are not sexually attractive like the 15 guys I did X with before I met you. I love X, but I won't do X with you because I'm not sexually attracted to you enough to do X with you.

Could you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get this straight?

bison5595 · 2021-12-09T01:29:06+00:00

Guys, you’re an idiot if you accept any of this nonsense excuses

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-12-09T03:40:05+00:00

Women can't seem to understand why it's a problem that they were a whore for some other guy and a nun for the guy they claim to love.

More at the top of the hour.

BassPotato · 2021-12-08T22:58:13+00:00

Like she’s literally on your bed, butt ass nekked ready to do the dirty, but you’re mad you can’t stuck it in her bum???? Because some imaginary 6’1782” dude with 9000 abs got to do it? Do you hear yourself?

If you were really this cool amazing “red-pill” dude, you wouldn’t be online crying about this particular woman. You’d just find a woman who does it for you.

This is what no pussy does to a mfer

Orange_Paisley · 2021-12-08T22:38:43+00:00

Oh look, it's time for another anal discussion!

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-12-08T23:20:45+00:00

I wonder what portrait thinks about this topic

John_Oakman · 2021-12-09T00:32:04+00:00

The fundamental disjoint between the two sides is the question of various variables so far as the values and importance of each. The real men of the redpill doesn't place much in things such as personality, maturity, and emotional connections while women & LVMs don't understand the importance of sexual activities and exclusivity for men.

It's as simple as that.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2021-12-09T01:32:35+00:00

I said it before and I will say it again. FWB/Fckboys get the whole package but the men in the LTR only gets crumbs off the table while being made to feel that the crumbs are the most valuable gift ever.

I think men just want to be seen as the best for woman they are with at the moment and if not then it would crush their souls. Men won't feel that way when women have given their best sexually to someone before and suddenly she doesn't like it anymore when the man she settles with finally comes around. If women play this, don't be surprised if the man they're with ends up with a side chick. Be a matter of time.

sarkington · 2021-12-09T01:33:28+00:00

Men here are just completely terrified of 1) being cheated on and 2) a dead bedroom

Most people accept and are at peace with these risks, and don’t drive themselves insane over them. Probably because we’re not desperate

SylvestorTalone · 2021-12-09T02:04:46+00:00

What you've said doesn't actually disprove what you set out to disprove. In fact, far from 'dispelling' these 'wrong' notions, you have admitted to their truth in the list you gave. Lets take item number 2:

she only did it because she was in an unhealthy relationship where she
had to practically bargain for her partners approval/love/attention

Another way of saying that is:

She was so obsessed with a guy, that she was more interested in keeping him happy, and doing whatever he wanted, in order to get his approval/love/attention than she was in preserving her own dignity.

Well, why is that? Why isn't she concerned enough with keeping you happy to put her own desires on the backburner?

Because he's better than you, simple.

He's better than you, that's what makes his validation and attention so much more valuable to her than yours. That is the brutal reality.

undersupervixen · 2021-12-08T22:48:45+00:00

Consider two rollercoasters. The first rollercoaster has 2hr wait times and the second rollercoaster has 20min wait times. Waiting in line is a nuisance, but people tolerate it because the ride is worth the wait. For this reason the length of the line reveals how much the rides are desired. If an individual woman is willing to wait 2hr to ride the first rollercoaster but will refuse to wait even 30min for the second then clearly she desires the first rollercoaster more.

she grew out of liking the first rollercoaster

This is possible. But she still had access to both rollercoasters and preferred the first until she got tired of the line.

she only did rode the first rollercoaster because she was in an unhealthy relationship

Nevertheless she found the juice from the first rollercoaster to be worth the squeeze. We're talking about a woman who routinely stood in line for 2hrs but refuses to do it once for the second rollercoaster. It's definitely about the rollercoasters. She chose the rollercoaster because she doesn't think it can command a 2hr wait time.

she did it despite hating it because she thought it was a normal thing you do when you're in a relationship

Why couldn't she try waiting in line 2hrs for the second rollercoaster to confirm she hates it? She's already stood in line for 2hrs countless times for other rollercoasters.

If you're looking for a long term commitment, her comfort should be your #1 priority. Not your sexual pleasure.

I strongly disagree, your own sexual pleasure and satisfaction is central to long term commitment. Far more important than any other person's comfort. However the answer is to break up. If she's uncomfortable, then the relationship is not for her.

If you're so set on getting that sexual access, then go find another women, because you clearly don't love her enough to look past s simple disagreement in bed.

In a battle of ultimatums, nobody is the most reasonable.

Again, if she doesn't do it for you, because she doesn't find you sexually attractive enough, the leave her. Why are you staying there?

No disagreement on that point.

DarkSp3ctre · 2021-12-08T23:54:18+00:00

Can we please stop beating this horse, it’s dead and rotted. Jesus Christ move the fuck on. No one cares if she won’t let to do anal

E-2-butene · 2021-12-09T00:34:19+00:00

Alright, so let me tell you guys a little story about a girl I dated several years back. When we first stated dating, this girl was super into me. On one of our first dates, she stated very plainly “I’m not into PDA, just so you know.” I basically told her “that sucks, because I really like PDA,” and we moved on.

I never twisted her arm and just did stuff like go for a kiss when I felt like it. In pretty short order, she’s initiating kisses and even make outs in public, without me saying anything. The “i don’t like PDA” conversation happened all of once early on and never again.

Fast forward a couple of years, and this girl clearly loses attraction for me. Long story short, I got super sick for a few months, gained a few pounds due to no gym, and was a pretty boring boyfriend (hard to do dates, spent a lot of time in bed feeling like total shit).

Once I recovered and we were going out more, I noticed that when I tried to kiss her in public, she would snub it and say “oh, I don’t do PDA.” Keep in mind, this girl had been passionately kissing me in public the previous year and a half. Unsurprisingly, we didn’t last much longer.

So who wants to be the first one to tell me that her interest had no bearing on her behavior or that I’m an abusive piece of shit? Because this is exactly the kind of discrepancy men are pointing at here. Only difference is it was past me vs future me instead of me vs her ex.

Spacct · 2021-12-09T00:13:52+00:00

Because they don't love their partner as a person, they see her as a body to have sex with. That's it.

randomguy9773 · 2021-12-09T00:46:25+00:00

Here is a way to explain this to women on why this is such a problem. Imagine you are dating this guy. Nice guy, nothing wrong with him and you enjoy his company. But then you find out about the 10 girlfriends he had before you were showered with gifts. He took them to high class restaurants, drove her around in fancy cars, bought her expensive bags (or whatever she liked) every occasion etc.

Now how do you feel? You'll feel hurt right? You'll want to know what is wrong and why she isn't getting the same adoration as the previous girls. If he goes 'babe that was my relationship with them, this is my relationship with you, it has nothing to do with how i value you, it is all in your head and it doesn't matter'. Are you gonna accept this BS reason? Any sane person wouldn't. Cos now with this info, compared to the previous girls, what you are getting from him is essentially a can of beans.

This ladies, is exactly how the guys feel. Think about the other side for once.

There is even a guy who interviewed girls regarding the same. So dont tell me 'no i wont feel bad' or whatever.

dbz19 · 2021-12-09T08:40:38+00:00

So what was it about her previous partners that made her more willing to do it with them but not with me?

Did she see them as more manly? Did she see them as more attractive? Is it because she sees me as safe and "teehee I lost my libido after getting married, you're not owed sex sweetie, stop being entitled :) '

Fuck off. I have no desire to even talk to a woman like that. Sex belongs in a marriage. Experimentation belongs in a marriage, not with college hook ups. I want her to experiment with me. I want her to try new things with me. I don't want to be the safe vanilla option because she's gotten all the experimentation and exploration out of her system with her past college hook ups. Stuff like this will push a guy straight to the deepest corners of TRP or incel or whatever.

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MotiMorphosys · 2021-12-08T23:33:28+00:00

First of all, most women will not reveal their sexual history if they're not willing to do the same thing with you, so if you're in this situation, she probably doesn't think much of you to begin with. This is not really a topic worth debating because of that point right there.

Women are also in different seasons. A woman will have an adventurous season where she will try new things, and then she will have a season where she's looking for someone long-term because her emotions have changed. So she's going to be like that with everyone this season, don't take it personally.

And yeah,

If you're so set on getting that sexual access, then go find another women, because you clearly don't love her enough to look past s simple disagreement in bed.

Don't overcomplicate this.

f1vepointoh · 2021-12-09T01:17:53+00:00

Women will get pissed at men who are like this in a relationship even when she use to have sex with him all the time but has lowered libido overtime and her needs change and his didnt. (But also get mad that not many men want commitment anymore.)

so he leaves cause he is unhappy and doesnt want to cheat, and some cheat cause they dont want to lose their home and at home life with their kids but still want happiness of their own.

Ya its selfish but some people arent in a marriage for love they are in it for family. They value having a family over having sex and love. So when kids get older and they get stuck with each other they realize they hate each other and from years of built in resentment from "do it for the kids".

With that said not all marriages are like that but many that fail are like that.

Spacct · 2021-12-09T12:11:26+00:00

When you marry someone and promise to only have sex with them for the rest of your life, sexual access is an extremely important component of the marriage. If a woman shuts you down for something you know she gladly did with others then you know she just settled for you and isn't actually attracted, and that your agreement is based on lies.

Vtridolla · 2021-12-09T16:21:29+00:00

Honestly from what I found is that if you focus on the woman in sex, and be super attentive to the things she loves. You aren’t going to be having any problems with her not doing what you want. I think you RP dudes might just not be too good at pleasing women. Which honestly makes the whole ideology make a lot more sense.

Title	Women that won't do sexual acts with you, but had done with previous partners, isn't an indicator she's not attracted to you enough to do them.
Author	ogsimpology
Upvotes	0
Comments	167
Date	December 8, 2021 10:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rc2ova/women_that_wont_do_sexual_acts_with_you_but_had/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-that-wont-do-sexual-acts-with-you-but-had.1087879 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087879

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