Spontaneous sex drive vs Reactive Sex drive. The reason for misunderstandings between Men and women

LAndLight2 · 2021-12-08T11:08:51+00:00

Except women are very sexual and will initiate if you are hot.

wtknight · 2021-12-08T13:17:34+00:00

I’ve known women who have actually said something along the lines of “I’m horny tonight. I’m going to go out and meet a guy and have sex.” This was pre-Tinder and now women can just order up a guy online pretty much. Of course, she still might get turned off even by the hottest guys if they mess up their game somehow, but the fact that some women are horny from the outset shows that reactive sex drive is often a myth.

Of course, some women don’t have a spontaneous sex drive. Women vary in libidos quite a bit and generalizations probably shouldn’t be made.

Willow-girl · 2021-12-08T05:10:03+00:00

Vibrators are the ultimate argument against the idea of a "reactive sex drive."

Mr. Buzzy ain't coming on to you, ladies.

jordan_form · 2021-12-08T04:05:53+00:00

another take: the reason for misunderstandings between men and women is because a large portion of women ARE spontaneously turned on when they see the right guy. this also may change as someone gets older.

there would be far less misunderstanding if women were consistently one way.

kittenated · 2021-12-08T07:57:07+00:00

This is weird for me as a bisexual woman.

My sexuality is entirely reactive towards men, but entirely spontaneous towards women. This leads me to wonder how much estrogen has to actually do with it.

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-08T08:54:49+00:00

Women throw themselves at tall, good looking men, knowing nothing about them except they are tall and good looking. This idea of spontaneous and reactive sex drives is just a way for women to rationalise their incredible superficiality when it comes to men. They are just as spontaneous as men, they're just so shallow it happens a lot less often. If a girl has to get to know you to be attracted to you, she's never really attracted to you, as she'll explain on her way out of the relationship.

missile · 2021-12-08T06:35:56+00:00

This thread is conflating four separate differences:

The higher proportion of women who have a so-called responsive sex drive
The higher level of caution which women have to display in the dating arena
Women's attraction being less visually centred than men's
Women's particular attraction to top men (hypergamy)

In terms of mate selection, responsive sex drive is the least important of these factors. (Responsive sexual desire is more relevant to long term relationship dynamics). Also note that some women can have high levels of spontaneous sexual desire (certainly during the new relationship phase).

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pubgmisc · 2021-12-08T12:03:08+00:00

No. Relationship attention and sex attention is always confused by women. Its not the same thing

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-12-08T21:11:25+00:00

I think both genders can fluctuate between both types. Sometimes you're the initiator and sometimes the other is. I don't think it's necessarily a fixed character trait.

sweetestpineapple · 2021-12-09T05:48:39+00:00

As a hyper sexual woman with a spontaneous drive I agree. I find myself relating to my guy friends when it comes to anything attraction related.

mackenzie013_02 · 2021-12-08T04:51:11+00:00

I don’t know man… my sexuality was/is never reactive; someone “acting on me first” does not turn me on or makes me want to fuck them.

Difficult-Owl-542377 · 2021-12-08T05:31:58+00:00

Weird. Not sure if the majority of people can match into this stereotyped thinking. I am not reactive then. I dont like people taking the first step with me, it kind of turns me off mostly. However, I am very picky, so the spontaneous sex drive really depends on the people I choose. Doesn’t really match with what this post was trying to say.

tonyghow · 2021-12-08T15:05:26+00:00

Testosterone is powerful, and I've met bisexual women who are sex hungry regardless of who's in front of them.

But for everyone else, it boils down to abundance of choice for women.

Women have the luxury of being reactive because there are dozens of orbiting men at their fingertips.

If men were scarce or not as thirsty, women would spontaneously seek men for everything including sexuality, out of simple starvation.

PositionStunning6928 · 2021-12-08T05:44:11+00:00

I'm glad the autistic size queen that posted here deleted her account, lifefuel

michael1962-01 · 2021-12-08T08:10:40+00:00

I wrote a comment about it on another today post.

At the end it boils down to :

Learn the dance of intimacy.

But -

Woman who want you are hard approaching and even some are open and direct (too much testo? Mid of cycle? Who knows?)

But that is the case when they are absolute into you - they do anything in the book then amyway - even break rules and lae.

I can't understand a female brain as i am a male to the max or that spectrum.

I like male bodies - if i see a carved greek statue or a natural class bodybuilder - but in a way i like a '69 stingray or a ferretti powerboat.

But to start the hydraulic it needs some one really into me.

Looks must be there - chubby dusqualifies. Ugly disqualifies as invisible to me too.

But to light up my male brain and the small brain it is the eyes. The way HOW you look at me.

From my experience women look at a whole picture in front of them.

Men deduct more logical sequential.

Sad_Top1743 · 2021-12-08T06:30:26+00:00

Women consistently react sexually, to a certain type of guy...lets call him.. i dunno..chad lol

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-08T20:54:53+00:00

Uhhhh spontaneous is spontaneous. What you described as spontaneous is not spontaneous.

HerbznTea · 2021-12-09T03:37:05+00:00

I disagree. Socially women have been taught to suppress their sexuality or at least compartmentalize until they are very comfortable. Let me tell you, you’d be surprised with the level of sex drive most women have. From what I’ve witnessed and heard from other women, men have trouble keeping up with it as they approach 30 and older. It’s the men that say they’d rather cuddle or just relax because they don’t feel like having sex all the time or being used for their penis.

daddysgotanew · 2021-12-08T17:20:35+00:00

She’s only reactive if you’re ugly. Tall and hot; all you have to do is sit back

Title	Spontaneous sex drive vs Reactive Sex drive. The reason for misunderstandings between Men and women
Author	YtBlue
Upvotes	59
Comments	145
Date	December 8, 2021 3:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rbhukm/spontaneous_sex_drive_vs_reactive_sex_drive_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/spontaneous-sex-drive-vs-reactive-sex-drive-the.1088035 https://theredarchive.com/post/1088035

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