Where do you ladies fall on the trad wife to modern wife spectrum?

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2022-04-05T21:51:45+00:00

I’d probably say about 50 percent close to 60. It’s been skewing more trad the past few years.

Trad - I’m a housewife, quite literally barefoot and pregnant with our first child. Planning on more, planning to homeschool them. Have fairly trad interests such as homesteading, gardening, sewing, cooking. My husband is the sole income earner, and I cook and clean (less so lately while experiencing some of the less fun side effects of first trimester pregnancy). My husband leads the major decisions in our household around investments, long term financial goals, etc he’s also pretty religious. I’m also very feminine, stay fit and always looking to maintain my beauty.

Modern - were interracial and inter faith, I’d say leaning more trad in the latter in that I’m very willing to have our children raised with my husbands religion since he’s far more religious than I am. I also had a high paying career on track to become a very young director at my company prior to me quitting once we got married. We also both had a past before getting together but it’s never once bothered either of us as we’ve been very open and honest about it at the start of us getting together.

2022-04-05T21:45:11+00:00

Honestly I was not very trad for most of my life. I was raised by lesbian feminist activists who would, I kid you not, do things like point out women wearing high heels and say things like, "it's considered attractive to wear those because it makes women easier to rape." I tried having sex and it hurt when I lost my virginity so I just kind of stopped, but I did date around a lot and had a lot of short unstable relationships. I think I would have had quite a high body count if I could physically tolerate sex better, I'm actually glad I avoided that. I was very much a stereotypical unstable sjw.

Then a few years ago I met someone fairly traditional, he wanted kids and lots of them, wanted to get married, wanted me to take his last name. I had always been told that being with these kinds of men would be an end to my freedom and personality but that never happened, and I just liked him. I realized, too, that if I want kids I really need someone like that, and to find someone like that I really need to be the sort of woman that they want. and if I want my kids to have that for themselves, I need to raise them a certain way.

To be honest I am glad I was young enough that I'm not in my 30s now complaining online about how all the good men are taken. I was definitely heading down that path. so I guess I wouldn't be considered very trad at all and that's fine. I would be happier if I had gone down this path sooner but I am just going to live the best I can now and continue to make choices that will make a good future for me and my family.

alien_eater289 · 2022-04-05T19:30:33+00:00

I’d say I’m probably…30% trad? I’m not religious, slept around a lot when I was younger, big time party girl, etc, now I’m college educated and making pretty good money. My trad side comes in because I believe in/feel very comfortable with a male-led relationship, I value my role as the woman of the house in that I cook, clean, and support my husband wherever and however I can, I believe in keeping myself fit, feminine and attractive, and I can’t wait to have kids and be a mom.

Anonymous_fiend · 2022-04-05T17:39:37+00:00

About 60% trad. Been with the same man since 23, religious, husband is provider/protector/leader, trying for kids (we want 4), going to homeschool them, I take care of the house & cook, I work pt as a babysitter, I only hang out with women, I don’t watch any explicit tv shows, modest dress (except for athletic wear), views towards sex, gender roles, fit feminine appearance, into gardening/homesteading/aerial/artsy stuff/etc

Not so trad aspects: interracial (he’s Jewish I’m White), we both slept around a little bit in early 20s (me mostly in ltrs/serial monogamy but also occasionally for validation/emotional issues), I got a backup certification as a nail tech/esthetician, I used to have male friends/beta orbiters (turns out they all liked me)

SeriousMaintenance76 · 2022-04-06T05:18:31+00:00

95% modern 5% trad

Modern - Sole Earner, High Earner, Male Dominated Careers, AntiNatalist, Pro Choice, Don’t want children, lots of stereotypical male hobbies. Don’t really dress up or wear make up, I don’t clean, Atheist, bachelor degree in Chinese and Comp Sci, travel solo often(Although I’m engaged) Pansexual, love debating. I am a strong ENTP. Very analytical… My God is Logic is my motto. Consider my relationship pretty egalitarian. Don’t really want a male led relationship. I like to build things and to provide both financial and emotionally. All I can think of for now

Trad- I love cooking. Have lots of stereotypical female hobbies. Try to be a soft place to land. My fiancé says I bring joy into any room I walk into. Love planning and organizing. I consider the way I dress for the most part very feminine. I lost my virginity to my fiancé. I gave a blowjob once and that was the extent of my sexual relations(n count of 2). I love taking care of the people I love.

Misc- Don’t know which one these would fit, but a big part of my personality is learning. I like to be polymathic. I spend a lot of time learning and teaching my self things. I am also in a interracial relationship.

oceantidesx · 2022-04-05T18:35:58+00:00

I don't understand how interracial relationships are not trad? Are we supposed to stick to the same race?

aussiedollface2 · 2022-04-06T06:21:39+00:00

I’m maybe 60-70% trad. I grew up in a very trad Catholic family with parents who are still together and have traditional roles (I went to a strict Catholic school for girls). It’s worked well for them and so that’s been something I’ve internalised. I respect men, I’m happy being a woman. I’m also used to men and understand them, in that I have three older brothers and a dad I have a good relationship with. My friends are all women, my interests are feminine. I don’t smoke or take drugs or anything, I drink socially. I’m a physician and have substantial post grad study but I don’t see that as non-trad because my mother was educated as were my grandmothers and it was a value add to the family having them tutor me and my siblings when growing up.

My non trad behaviours would be when I used to work all the time including night shifts and weekends, sometimes I let the house get messy and then I just pay a cleaner instead of doing it myself lol, sometimes I swear when I’m stressed which I’m really trying to not do, I interrupt my husband when he’s talking sometimes. So potentially my demeanour at times. It’s something I’m working on.

VintageTeaHighHeels · 2022-04-05T19:43:36+00:00

Hmm, I'd say close to 50/50 but becoming slightly more trad in the past year.

Modern aspects include: overly educated (two graduate STEM degrees lmao oops), have traditionally "masculine" hobbies (e.g. hiking, sports), can be outspoken about my beliefs, 3 person n-count, not incl. my current BF (from two previous LTR and one short term relationship that I thought would be LTR but it crashed and burned... and it also led me to a spiritual path)

Trad: faith - Christian (in a spiritually guided relationship with a man of the same faith and ethnicity), naturally submissive to the masculine man I respect, love cooking and cleaning, want kids, would want to be a SAHM and family is #1 (but would consider a creative job on the side that's more like a hobby), feminine, modest but fashionable dress, I'm good at cooking, baking, dancing, music, writing ("feminine" hobbies)

cupieheart · 2022-04-05T20:30:43+00:00

I would say I’m about 60% trad and 40% modern.

Trad aspects: I got married recently and am in my mid 20’s. Im a Christian. I work part time from home so I do the majority of the housework. I do consider myself a housewife sense my income is only supplemental to my husbands, and he’s the breadwinner. I cook nearly every night and like to bake as well. I am into traditional femininity and enjoy presenting very femininely.

Modern aspects: I’m college educated. I used to be a staunch feminist in college and unfortunately acted accordingly during those years. The biggest thing is that I don’t want children. I struggle to feel like I even fit into the trad lifestyle because I don’t want children and never have. I feel like I’m not really trad due to this choice….

MuseofPetrichor · 2022-04-05T18:30:11+00:00

I married almost right out of high school, we're religious. Husband does majority of the cooking, but I do most of the cleaning (husband does the dishes, tho). He is on disability, tho, so we don't work. I would like to publish a book someday, but will have to be willing to get a job, because it would mess with his check. We're childfree too. I used to be way more tomboyish, but mostly wear dresses now. Husband was my first everything. We'll watch or read or play anything that fancies us. We're big on 80s/90s films (I love horror; it was one of the things that bonded us at first) and we play a lot of video games and watch a lot of cartoons, so we're a bit immature, but it's fine. It works for us. Not sure where that leaves me on the scale. 50/50?

heythereitsemily · 2022-04-05T20:26:31+00:00

I think some of my actions in life may be perceived as non traditional but in a relationship with a man, I’m like 90% traditional in gender roles.

PearlSunrise · 2022-04-06T01:50:09+00:00

Based on my life now, I would say I'm probably 30 percent modern.

I work outside of the home as the primary breadwinner. I'm college educated and had a blue pilled life prior to adopting the red pill in my late teens.

On the flip side, my husband is my leader and my guide. He keeps me safe and leads all of our major decisions with strong discernment. We are Christians and I am starting to examine the idea of being baptized. We plan on multiple children. I have feminine hobbies : baking, sewing, and reading being among my favorites. I have embraced myself as a beautiful, feminine woman and built a life that works well for me.

Wonderful question!

titlejunk · 2022-04-06T01:53:20+00:00

WAY more modern. I’m trad under duress.

I had a career and was super content with that. Eventually what made more sense was for me to take the reins at home.

I didn’t/don’t love it but I’m fine. I can do it. Deciding what’s for dinner each day is the worst.

SecretFeminine · 2022-04-06T10:54:03+00:00

I am almost 0% tradcon. But rpw does provide a pragmatic solution to the question of “how can my husband and I live our most fulfilling life together?” I am completely in support of women who want the modern ideal of love and consider myself a feminist (as in women should be able to pursue what they want, be that tradcon or ceo). I just haven’t gotten what I wanted in following whatever the modern ideal is inside of my marriage. Outside of my marriage, I have a career and I’m not afraid to bust some balls.

george__whorewell · 2022-04-05T19:07:10+00:00

Not married, have no intention of being married (as of right now, this might change, who knows?) but I'd say 80% modern 20% trad.

titlejunk · 2022-04-05T20:52:42+00:00

I'm probably about 10% trad wife. I slept around a lot (never had a serious relationship before my husband), assumed I would be a career woman, and my cooking, cleaning and other feminine skills kind of suck. Also, we're child-free.

My 10% trad wife-ness would probably be that I don't have tattoos, piercings or an unnatural hair colour, and I'm trying to grow into those feminine skills that I suck at. And I'm a SAHW.

wannaberunner131 · 2022-04-06T20:22:17+00:00

Honestly not trad. Only reason I would say any trad is because right now he is the breadwinner and takes care of our finances. I do most of the cooking and cleaning and care of our version of babies, dogs :).

We don't have kids and as of right now not planning on having them.

I came here because I want my marriage to be stronger. This sub helps put things in perspective, makes me chill out more and apologize when I screw up. I want to be a loving, supportive wife and I do not want to be the narrator of our life. I want my husband to lead us even though I plan to be our breadwinner when I graduate school.

CrochetedCoffeeCup · 2022-04-05T23:31:37+00:00

I’d say, maybe 60-40 in favor of trad? We married during undergrad at 20 and 21. We are religious. I “stay home” with the kids and do the majority of the housework, but I also have an advanced degree and I teach about 20 hours per week online.

I would say we both have a mix of feminine and masculine hobbies. We met because we were on the same track team, and running and hiking are a big part of our lives. We both like carpentry and home improvement projects. I enjoy sewing, crocheting, and baking.

The thing that prevents me from calling myself trad is that I really do not see myself ever completely quitting my job. I worked hard for my degrees, and I’d like to keep my skills sharp should an unexpected change in family circumstance compel me to seek full time work outside of the house again.

Oh yeah and we don’t contracept and we had three kids by age 26 … and we are hoping for several more!

2022-04-06T00:45:22+00:00

60% trad: I'm currently 20 and am looking to get married and start a family with my boyfriend someday. I also like to cook and crochet and also take care of my looks. I dress modestly and don't sleep around. Additionally, I have conservative/libertarian views when it comes to politics and detest progressivism.

40% modern: I'm currently studying Electrical Engineering (changing to Computer Engineering soon) and have a co-ed friend group. I'm in an interracial relationship and am agnostic/atheist.

fiveninecindy · 2022-04-06T01:15:20+00:00

Didn’t wait until marriage and not super religious, but we’re the “have a bunch of kids, move to a cabin in the woods, be self sustainable, lots of guns, homeschool” types so I think that puts me at like 90% tradwife. I couldn’t be happier! I’m living the dream!

Catherine772023 · 2022-04-06T09:48:53+00:00

Marrying young is usually a bad idea bc it increases divorce risks. But the rest makes sense if it’s what you both want.

BumbleBitny · 2022-04-06T16:35:24+00:00

Umm probably like 30% trad I guess? I'm a housewife and let my husband lead. But that's pretty much where that stops. I frequently joke that my outsides don't match my insides I'm a housewife, only wear dresses, and am respectful to my husband at all times. But I'm also pretty confrontational,(when he's not around. When he is he normally will fight the battle for me and I let him) and outspoken, all of my beliefs lean pretty blue.

2022-04-06T19:26:44+00:00

Probably half. I'm a stay at home mom. But we're not religious. I don't lean heavily to the right or the left.

I was a teenage single mother with a not so great family history. But my n-count is only 2 (that includes my husband).

FineDevelopment00 · 2022-04-10T14:35:48+00:00

I'm a healthy balance between trad and modern; I don't strictly identify as a member of either group because trads would consider me too modern and modernists would consider me too trad. I simply am myself and I embrace the good from both ideologies while at the same time rejecting the bad from both.

throw-away-518 · 2022-04-11T01:07:15+00:00

I'm probably about 65% traditional, give or take:

Trad: No sex till marriage, no living together before marriage, friends are only women, extremely close with family, dress modestly, Christian, pro life, hoping to marry young, zero dating experience before current LTR, zero sexual experience, no tattoos or piercings, prefer traditional dating standards and gender roles, no alcohol or drugs whatsoever.

Modern: Interracial couple/half asian, don't dress super feminine or dress up often, don't wear makeup, attending 4 year college starting this fall, will be a D1 college athlete, enjoy hobbies related to exercise (running, hiking, going to gym, etc), work 30 hours/week currently (took gap year from school this year).

ichillonforums · 2022-05-04T13:19:45+00:00

Also hugely attracted to Asian men, love to see it, good on you OP, we are women of taste hahaha. But imo I don't see this as non-trad, just because at one point it was illegal. To me, if the dynamics of the relationship are trad or the woman's values are trad, then it's trad. Something being illegal or so highly taboo that it's basically illegal at one point is more of a variable, it's more of a, "it's very technically textbook non-traditional because it just so was, the world was set up to force it" but has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with the actual definition of trad and why people choose to be trad and the mindset and values behind trad, ESPECIALLY when it comes to an AMWF dynamic but that's a whoooole other can of worms and I don't want to get banned on reddit...

So for me, I'd say I'm 50-50 trad to modern. The ways in which I act can come off as 80% modern and I always think people are going to see me as 110% modern, but weirdly, when I talk to people, they say I absolutely strike them as center-right (which is a really good guess and I'm flattered and amused at their good guessing lol). I'm religious in my own way so not in a bible-thumping way (my religious beliefs are COMPLEX but I am heavily Taoist leaning but not against Christianity and have some Christian beliefs myself and can see how Jesus could be real esoterically and analytically) ugh fuck I didn't wanna think about this but I could be a lukewarm Protestant in denial... moving on, and quickly, I've slept around a lot, continue to do so even though I am taking a break right now for sexual health reasons (nothing is wrong with me, I'm not infected, I'm just like, quadruple checking that even though I don't have any concerns just because I can be a germ nut at times, GERMS lool and want to give my pH balance a break as well as completely weed out a really pesky UTI (thanks so much to my family for giving me the bad kidney genes even though my kidneys are fine FOR NOW but I'm also only 24 and been dealing with UTIs since I was a child, but recently found some helpful advice on r /herbalism)), oh, circling back to religion, the closest and most accurate "known/common/expected religion or lack thereof" I can identify with is agnosticism in particular, NOOOOOT to be confused with atheism (atheism is a button subject for me lol God no!!!!) and am gaianist which means I lightly and pickily (pickily? Is that a word? Staunchily) dabble in some pagan and similar beliefs but don't believe in (either morally or practically) all of it, I'm more of a choosey sticklr with my witchcraft and am a huge proponent of shadow work, as far as relationship dynamics I want something neo-trad, I am looking for a man who can cook but I can bake, I would greet him with a drink handcrafted with love when he came home from work (oh btw when I say I am looking, I say that loosely, I am not looking at this moment but always open), I can do small little snack stuff and apps, but I need him to handle the entrees and main portions of the food most of the time, then we can cook together as well as outsource sometimes but not the majority because I feel like cooking would be a VERY wholesome and fun bonding time with my man and I don't want to pass that up FOR SURE and is one of the things I'm most excited about doing with him, but I just want it to be less often than he cooks himself, and then VERY RARELY I will cook for us. But usually I'm just covering the baking and some other frills, I want to both be a career woman and a SAHM, so this is how this works in my mind-- this can happen in one of 2 ways:

1.) I am a career woman for many years. When I feel I've left my legacy enough and have contributed all I wish to contribute to the world, I then quit my job and settle down and be a SAHW

2.) Say I find a bf. He becomes a fiance (I believe in moving in together not before marriage and not after, but when we're engaged with a ring and a date), we move in together, he's always willing to provide for me but I continue to pursue my career just because I want to and get pure joy out of it. We have an agreement that any time I want to, I am more than welcome to quit my job and he provide for me. Or, if any SHTF at work and I don't feel it's safe, smart, or contributes to my wellbeing any longer to be there, I can quit for as little or as long as I want or need to and be with him

2022-04-06T00:20:05+00:00

I waited for marriage, married very young, religious, husband p&p, I c&c, SAHM, 3 kids before 30, homeschool, same race marriage, and husband is decision maker.

I did get an education but that was under my husbands orders so if anything I don’t count it.

90 trad probably

beepincheech · 2022-04-05T21:56:00+00:00

Idk about percentage, but we are a white Christian couple that loves America. I don’t work, my husband handles all the finances. I always have the house cleaned and food cooked. Right now we live in an apartment but we will be moving to our 12 acre homestead once the house is finished being built. I’m currently pregnant with our first and we hope to have 3 or more. I’ll be home birthing and home schooling. I guess the only non trad thing we do is my husbands crossdressing fetish🤷🏻‍♀️ but thankfully he’s not really into that anymore!

CactusForever · 2022-04-13T12:14:06+00:00

Maybe 40/60?

Trad aspects: I embrace being submissive to my partner. He leads the direction of our relationship and manages our big financial decisions and budgets. He also does all the traditional building/fixing/crafting jobs around the house whereas I do all of the cooking, and most of the other domestic chores as much as I can.

Non trad: Not actually married. Been together 5 years, just haven't felt the need to tie the knot. College educated (now see that as a waste of time and $$). I also have more of a sexual history than a classic trad wife would probably have. Thankfully so does my partner and we're both unbothered by each other's past. No kids (yet?). I also work equal hours to me partner but not out of professional ambitio

blueberrywaffles3 · 2022-06-15T15:56:35+00:00

Id say 80% trad for me. Me and my boyfriend are moderately conservative. We’ve only ever been with each other, been together since I was 15. I cook a lot and know how to clean. I do traditionally feminine tasks like gardening, cooking, etc.

i vary between wearing “modern” clothes like t-shirts, jeans, shorts, and more traditional clothes like dresses.

We are both in college, me studying to be a nurse, and him an officer in the air force. I do want a career up until I have children. We want 2 or 3 kids and a cute home with a dog and a cat.

I’m traditional in the belief that I want to get married in my early 20s after we both graduate college. But I have considered getting my Master’s, either before we have children or when they are older.

I have never had any piercings besides ears, no hair dyed different colors, or tattoos. Both not very religious.

I’m traditional in most things apart from me wanting my own career, at least for a few years. This is mostly because I feel lost without a job. I feel the need to work and earn money.

Smellyflower_ · 2022-11-18T05:24:06+00:00

90% trad. 10% modern.

90% trad - married husband young (he was my high school sweetheart - lost my virginity to him), he’s sole bread winner, I cook, garden, read, sew, clean, homeschool, draw, etc. looking to have another child in a few months (we have one), keep very fit, wear makeup often, husband and I have an incredible relationship, go to church, we don’t watch modern tv or movies, cellist.

10% modern - I’m on Reddit right now, have some tattoos, was a career woman until getting pregnant(quit immediately), have my sailing certifications, mow half the lawn in the summer (10 acres), drive a standard transmission, hate going barefoot, modeled for NY fashion week when I was 17(almost followed that career, glad I didn’t).

That may sound more than 10% but most everything modern, I despise.

Title	Where do you ladies fall on the trad wife to modern wife spectrum?
Author	LittleDragonMaiden
Upvotes	67
Comments	110
Date	April 5, 2022 5:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/tx02xj/where_do_you_ladies_fall_on_the_trad_wife_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/where-do-you-ladies-fall-on-the-trad-wife-to.1111173 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111173

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