I'd argue the dating nature of women is more transient/in the moment; and marked by emotional spikes she experiences, rather than past events. Also, hypergamy dictates that a women is constantly in search for a higher value person and/or higher spike in emotion. Combine that with our instant gratification addiction (constant stimuli), and you have a a recipe for disaster in the dating marketplace.

you run into these dynamics:

  • it's less about the quality of the men, it's about which men arouses her and gets to her first. Since men have to make the first move and create the experience (women are passive actors), men now have to play a logistical micro-game to attract and keep the attention of a women. Have a date and are sitting across the table - little chancee for physical touch to occur, if there is not physical touch, less chance of arousing her. Another example - if you are escalating with a women but there is no place to go - your or her place are farther away - chance of sex decreases. You end the date - then she goes on a date with another guy where he chooses a place close to the bar - and easily transition back to his place. she feels stronger emotions for that guy because she slept with him and not necessarily because she had a stronger conection, which was the result of him logistically picking a place closer to his place
  • Men have to talk to multiple women since the majority will fall off. this is because other men are talking to multiple women. this is a positive feedback loop. Do men like to do this? no. do they have to? yes
  • As a man you have to appeal to the transient nature of women (which is excaberbated by social media). You have to frame your texts in a certain way to spike emotion - reminding her of a past event you two had. Even texting at certain times. If you don't do this (or text too much) another man with better texting skills will come in and appeal to her emotion better. since women appeal to emotion, you will lose to him.
  • Dating Apps and Social Media: You have to market your profile to the nth degree now. why? because other men are doing it. we have now reached the stage where men are talking professional photo shoots for dating and modifiying their pics to reduce blemishes / increase muscularity. Its incredibly gynocentric and bizzare. It's less about presenting who you are and more about how you are presented and the micro details - capturing the best angle for your face, the best lighting, even pictures where you appear taller than others.

*obligatory "not all women/situations"

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