For redpilled men, what does consent mean to you?

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-09-25T19:37:09+00:00

“ is drinking and wearing a short dress consent “ 💀💀💀

I only submit formal consent forms that are signed and notarized

NOTSM · 2023-09-25T18:11:03+00:00

The quick and dirty definition is when she goes along with your sexual escalations and/or escalates the situation herself.

This is the sort of thing that’s obvious 99% of the time

obviousredflag · 2023-09-25T18:26:49+00:00

non-redpill/consider this under the automoderator

As a non-autistic millennial, i read non-verbal cues in ~90% of the cases and decide on that if she is consenting to what i want or do. Rest of the time, there are no clear cues or there was no build up to anything, so i make statements about what i want to do, and she just follows through with doing it or rejecting it. "i want to kiss you right now" -> starts kissing me / "i don't want to kiss right now".

No, drinking and any form of revealing clothing is not consent.

With my current gf, we established universal consent to everything, even while unconscious. So consent has to specifically be revoked and only concerning the future.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-09-25T19:24:35+00:00

This has got to be the dumbest fucking post ever.

You can’t be SERIOUSLY asking if someone drinking alcohol or wearing a short dress = consent…

Training-Banana-5017 · 2023-09-25T20:44:23+00:00

Consent is verbal for me. I do not know about other men, but I will always ask a women if I can kiss her, cuddle her, and hug her.

My reasoning is pretty simple, I want to make sure the women is okay with me touching her. I don't give a flying fuck if it is a turn off to some women. One of my biggest fears is getting falsely accussed and then being sent to prison where they would all know that the reason I am there is because of a (false) me too allegation, in which case I am as good as dead.

Plus I don't understand how asking for consent is a turn off? Is it really such a turn off to women if a guy views her as an actual human being and ask her if she is okay with something? I've never had a girl tell me she was "turned off" by me asking if I could her kiss her?

Obviously if you are in a committed relationship and you ask consent for little shit like hugs and stuff then yeah idk what that is about. But in the first like 1-2 months of dating or seeing someone? 100% askig for consent every time.

wheartv · 2023-09-25T18:50:10+00:00

Obviously drinking and wearing a short skirt is not consent

Asking the question is offensive

Like asking “hey does your mom do gang bangs?”

I do not do the weird consent dance pushed on college campuses where you have to say

“Is it okay if I touch your butt?”

While a woman has her tongue down your throat and grinding on your lap

You obviously just touch their butt and if they aren’t ready then they’ll let you know, I don’t go too fast so I’ve never had an objection (except when my last gf didn’t want anal that evening)

I’m middle aged and only date women within about 10 years of my age

They don’t want that and we have this all figured out without weird young kids interjecting themselves

SuperCrazy07 · 2023-09-25T20:21:41+00:00

I think most of the time the parties in a he said / she said know whether or not there was consent. I also think these situations make up a tiny percent of all sexual encounters.

The gray area for me is when both parties have been drinking roughly equally, neither is blackout drunk, both are enthusiastic in the night (ie basically every bar hookup in history) but one or both regret it the next day. I think that is consent the vast majority of the time but I can see how the person having regrets can question it. (Also, guys, common sense applies - if you’re having a six person gangbang behind the dumpster you might consider holding off on that until you know she’s totally sober.)

I can’t help but note the relatively high percentage of men on PPD who are virgins or haven’t been laid in forever and the men in the comments being like “I get verbal consent each step of the way, blah blah blah”. Consent is about her enthusiasm…it really isn’t that difficult. Verbalizing it, particularly repeatedly, is a huge turnoff to most women.

abaxeron · 2023-09-25T21:33:06+00:00

Consent is when I say "Do you wanna have sex?" and she says "Yes".

I don't have time for mind games.

mrcs84usn · 2023-09-25T19:26:54+00:00

My thoughts on “drunken consent”

If you can’t consent after drinking, bartenders should only be allowed to provide one serving of alcohol because you’re no longer able to consent.

Saying “I was drunk” is not an excuse if you choose to drive and get pulled over, but the standard isn’t held when you choose to sleep with someone.

GodspeedHarmonica · 2023-09-25T18:33:02+00:00

Body language and initiative are very clear signs of consent. Don't have sex with anyone if there is not mutual genuine desire

DietTyrone · 2023-09-25T19:12:48+00:00

How formal do you think it should be? Should men point blank ask if this is okay with every kiss, article of clothing removed, and thrust? Should we start bringing consent forms to sign, with addendums for oral and anal? I'm sure that won't kill the mood at all. What's the fool proof way to do this do you think?

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-09-25T19:47:03+00:00

My view is consent is usually implicit, not verbal.

That DOESN'T mean you can just throw arms to her breast and pussy, but it does mean small incremental escalations should be tried, and accepted or rejected (i.e small touches > more sexual touches > kiss > makeout > breast > pussy >= "wanna suck my cock?" etc) .

When a step is rejected it's time to take a step back, and either try again later, talk about it or call it a night.

Consent looks like me going in for a kiss, she reciprocating.

no-consent looks like me going in for a kiss, she moves her head.

trouble looks like me going in for a kiss, she doesn't move her head but doesn't reciprocates - pull-back will be applied but she's very bad at this game.

I make sure she is consenting by making sure she's not awkward, pushing me away or saying no.

Drinking and wearing is not consent, but drinking (as opposed to black out drunk) is not a way of revoking future consent.

Zabadoodude · 2023-09-25T20:40:52+00:00

I'm more purple pilled than fully red.

Consent means not doing something sexual with someone that they aren't verbally or non verbally agreeing to in the moment.

I'm not autistic so I can read social cues well enough to figure out if she's into it or not. I escalate one step at a time, and take it slow, if she doesn't clearly demonstrate her enthusiasm, I back off. I never explicitly ask for consent. "Is it OK if I put my penis in your vagina?" Just sounds too cringe

Obviously being drunk or wearing a short dress isn't consent, but I do believe that if you are sober enough to clearly demonstrate your enthusiasm, then you are sober enough to consent. So a passed out or incoherent drunk woman cannot give consent, but a woman sober enough to be an active participant can. In most cases the man isn't any more sober, but no one is discussing if the guy may have been to drunk to consent.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2023-09-25T18:38:21+00:00

I don’t consider myself red pilled, far from it. However, I am called red pilled all the time so I will answer this.

what are your views on the concept of consent?

Me personally I have to ask “do I have the consent for X” because I don’t want to ever hurt someone or be miss accused of something. Assuming there isn’t a role play or anything playful like that, no is no and every couple should have a safe word.

what does consent look like?

In my book body language will never ever be enough. This seems like a rule made to destroy peoples lives. Body language is a clear rule.. people can often get it wrong and if so you become a rapist.. so no.. for me consent is clear spoken agreement

how do I make sure she is consenting?

I’d say a lot of conversations before hand… if you can’t have a deep and intimate conversation about every kink and deep thought you have, you shouldn’t have sex. If she is shy and has a hard time saying no to people in general you shouldn’t have sex until you have worked on her getting comfortable saying no to anything to you. If yall haven’t had conversations on what to do if one gets pregnant you shouldn’t have sex. After that, practice your safe word for days/weeks. Have her randomly even when focused say the word and trigger you to move away. To not even have to think about it. Ask for permission of your every move. Etc

is drinking and wearing a short dress consent?

Unless yall had that conversation and made it so it means that, then no.

I want to clarify I don’t think either side is willing to do everything I said, but I think is the safest way to go through with it

pinealpresence · 2023-09-25T18:31:47+00:00

What does consent look like?

Verbal yes.

Is drinking and wearing a short dress consent?

Nope.

What are your views on the concept of consent?

I've had discussions about this where I'd argue that non verbal cues play a large role, and still got some pushback. I don't believe every single person asks for verbal consent or requires it -- for some people that could even be a turn off.

Despite that, to be extra extra safe, I'd still ask for verbal consent before even trying anything. Regardless of any positive signs/cues I see, or think I see

Leaving-trunk · 2023-09-25T19:58:45+00:00

I assume all women want to fuck me until it’s clear they don’t.

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Clementinequeen95 · 2023-09-25T18:44:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Garfish16 · 2023-09-25T19:14:18+00:00

I'm going to answer your questions as written. I'm guessing you were thinking about this in some specific context like a women consenting to sex, consenting to other physical intimacy, consenting to be approached, consenting to be spoken to, consenting to be looked at, consenting to be coexisted with, or something else. I can't read your mind so if you want a more specific answer you're going to have to ask a more specific question.

What are your views on the concept of consent?

I see consent as any communicated decision.

What does consent look like?

It can look like anything including inaction. It depends on what you are consenting to, how you are consenting, the standard of concent, and a bunch of other stuff.

How do you personally make sure she is consenting?

I don't know who she is or what she is connecting to. Without that information I can't even start to answer this question.

Is drinking and wearing a short dress consent?

These actions constitute consent for many actions in many contexts. More information required.

Hoopy223 · 2023-09-25T19:21:52+00:00

LOLWUT

Obviously you make them sign a waiver drawn up by a Lawyer and then duly notarized by a registered Notary Public.

letsridetoglory · 2023-09-25T19:46:58+00:00

Concent is anything until she tells me to stop, as soon as she tells me to stop even if we’re fcking I’m gonna stop.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-09-25T22:09:11+00:00

She talking to me and texting me when I'm not around.

iassureyouimreal · 2023-09-25T22:12:15+00:00

Yes or no

BlueBaals · 2023-09-25T22:13:57+00:00

My solution from an early age was to simply let women make the moves. Granted I’d position myself (not like literally move my face in front of hers, but as in general vibe / location etc..). Like, if a girl is coming over and has already enthusiastically engaged with me flirting, and we move to the bedroom, and she lays on the bed, it’s not like one should be left questioning what to do. Make yourself and your own body language open & receptive correctly or just lead the conversation & body language and she’ll do all the work.

I do remember in college right after a campus-wide mandatory consent lecture using it to my advantage by explicitly saying to women “if you come into my room I don’t want to be your friend. We’re getting in that bed and you’re not allowed to drink. Show me your ID, and come here or leave.” Something of that sort. A lot of women found it hot I kinda just commanded the scenario but I never felt like I coerced anyone, they were well aware I was drunk, we thought each other attractive, and we’d end up in bed sooner or later so why not now. I’d have girls knocking on my window asking to give me head. Cause I was one of the only guys to not take the full on “I need you to sign here to affirm your future sexual attraction” level consent other guys were trying to do, to be “feminist friendly” on my super liberal campus. Even the hardcore feminists didn’t seem too keen on asking me for consent, even tho I was often the one near unconscious, only fully aware in the morning when they made me breakfast. College was wild. And I also wasn’t saying this weird shit to every girl, obviously it was girls id already finessed my dorky little artsy self into coming over.

Consent has never been a question in my mind, like there’s never been doubt about “did she consent to that?” Or “does she want me to xyz?” And anything more intense like anal or just non standard sex was always discussed in some way before the woman was ready and would initiate herself.

Women are pretty good at consenting by basically avoiding any scenario where the man should need to ask. I often feel like if you have to ask then it’s probably a no.

And obviously if piss drunk & you’re sober walk away. One thing that separated me from other guys I noticed when young was I refused to sleep with women if they were intoxicate in any significant way, until we’d already slept together a few times then I’d sleep with them if we BOTH were getting fucked up. But if I didn’t know her and she was drunk I was not willing to risk a false accusation.

I saw it destroy a roommates life. To the point of harassment and assault eventually culminating in his suicide. At which point it was revealed the EX girlfriend who accused this poor guy admitted in court she was lying to get back at him for leaving her. He had to change schools due to his reputation being fucked, hence him transferring to the college I went to, but that rumor spread and I shit you not people broke into his room (which was my old room) spraypainting “RAPIST SCUM”, feminist picketer types chasing him with socks full of soap, like shit you can’t make up from a false rape accusation.

And there I was black out drunk every night with women sober as a Mormon who not once asked for my consent - because obviously I consented

In summation, outside of autism consent should be so evident it needn’t be spoken, because unfortunately a lot of women likely decline consent only after it’s presented (as a sign of no confidence or ability to read the room) — turnt off you have to ask “please fill out this consent form and verbally acknowledge your intention.” Or “Can I use my erect penis at this juncture or do you not consent to my arousal?” I mean that’s kinda hilarious maybe I’ll give it a try

canwegetanfinchat · 2023-09-25T22:52:35+00:00

I guess I’m red pilled? But it’s signals. Sometimes verbal, sometimes non-verbal.

Revolutionary-Swim24 · 2023-09-26T09:57:18+00:00

Consent means she is a) physically capable of saying no, b) practically has an ability to say no and is not threatened in any capacity including non physically, c) is not blackout drunk to the point of lack of basic situational awareness, d) does not say no or try to push a guy away, and e) if she doesn’t say yes, reciprocates either with a smile or returns touch in some capacity to affirm her consent.

I’m not necessarily saying that this is the smartest standard to have practically, but I don’t really consider it rape unless consent at this level is violated.

Thal-creates · 2023-09-27T08:05:00+00:00

Not red piller nor straight.

But my answer is from what Ive seen... Even red pillers and incels are better at consent than the average woman. If a woman is slightly horny there is 0 consideration for a mans consent. Negative.

Title	For redpilled men, what does consent mean to you?
Author	DRW0813
Upvotes	0
Comments	129
Date	September 25, 2023 5:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16ryswc/for_redpilled_men_what_does_consent_mean_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-redpilled-men-what-does-consent-mean-to-you.1232924 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232924

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