I just did my "new" budget. What's the fucking point?

ciscokid12345 · 2023-10-07T20:17:36+00:00

I started an LLC to do side hustle consulting. Made an extra 40k the first year. Because of that I ended up getting hired for a new full time position as a director of IT that pays 60k more than i used to make before the divorce.

My ex works under the table and could take me back to court for more money than the $2200 I’m currently paying but one of my high school aged kids is begging to live with me full time so I think that’s keeping her away from the court.

techrmd3 · 2023-10-07T18:04:49+00:00

It's tough but it is what it is.

I think that laws need to get modernized. To have divorced women who FILED on husbands get rewarded for not working is obviously one sided.

The courts do not protect kids after divorce at all.

A woman can divorce a man. Claim she can't work. Get child support and alimony. Then shack up with some rando who keeps her bed warm maybe takes her out gives her a few bucks for "rent". And the mom creates an f'ed up environment for a mans kids.

You know the KIDS he is paying all the money to mom to protect!!!

Divorce decrees need to include parental guidance and boyfriend rules as default to these moms who get paid for sitting at home with new boyfriends.

vickyprodigy · 2023-10-07T21:20:30+00:00

Brother.. i was at the same exact point. Poured over my accounts to see what kind of cash flow ill have after expenses.

I knw right now you dont see hope.. but im here to tell u there is. You will figure out a way.

In a span of 2 months I setup 2 businesses which I wouldn't have done before. We men are by evolution - problem solvers.

You CAN and will PREVAIL. Stay strong and keep plugging away. You will figure it out.

Character_Hippo90 · 2023-10-07T17:52:28+00:00

Maybe a part time gig on the weekend or a few nights a week will supplement the budget. I had to relearn a bunch a thrifty techniques after my divorce, some being quite unbearable but nonetheless beneficial. And as for the dating scene, focus on developing an open dialog first, one that factors in financial facts so it's clear of what your status is. Also, don't be embarrassed by reality, use it as a way to filter out those who accept you and not your wallet.

Theedon · 2023-10-08T01:44:24+00:00

Dating!!!! DATING!!!!!! WTF Bro! You can't afford to wipe your ass with bleached shredded dead trees and you want to romance another whore in hopes of a chemical reaction in your brain that makes you want to get married again?

What's wrong? The wicked witch of the east wasn't enough for you? You want some more of that action?

Just fucking with ya. I rent out rooms in my house just so I can order pizza once a month.

DuaneMorgs · 2023-10-07T19:58:30+00:00

Start a YouTube channel and make poopy sounds while streaming video games.

It's what all the millionaires are doing.

Brilliant-Tomorrow55 · 2023-10-07T18:20:25+00:00

Generally, visitation and alimony are separate. The nuclear option is always available and won't keep you from your kids.

Quit your job, stop paying, work under the table only. It's the shitty path, but if this is what the court drives you to...do it.

With that said, there are better paths, but I'm not sure I wouldn't take the nuclear option in your scenario. Zero incentive for the payee to do better.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-10-07T23:24:32+00:00

Your option is to increase your income. Work, side gig, investments. Don’t give up

her_dog_is_odd · 2023-10-07T19:08:20+00:00

Get that side hustle, but be smart. Make an LLC, and do some research to make sure she can’t touch that income (ie salary, “pay” your kids as employees, shift assets and tax liabilities for your home and car, etc).

Don’t date em, fuck em. Or fuck em. One or the other. For me, kids come first, me/work comes second. With my schedule it leaves very little time for dating. Not many women will stick around when I’m free “a month from Tuesday.” I’m cool with that anyway. Reconnect with friends and your time will fill up pretty well.

fibinachos · 2023-10-07T20:52:47+00:00

How much is your child support?

stent00 · 2023-10-07T23:49:24+00:00

At least you got a house from the sound of it...

Illustrious_Shape_78 · 2023-10-08T01:46:33+00:00

Get a second job and don't get married ever again.

whiskey_piker · 2023-10-08T05:08:10+00:00

Breathe deeply and calm down. Don’t load unnecessary stress on yourself like your dream of laying for your kids college. One step at a time.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, so the way things look today will be much different than they look in 2mos, 6mos, 2yrs, etc.

livinthedream17 · 2023-10-08T05:50:11+00:00

It sucks. It just does. My ex was getting half her salary as cash for years. So when the divorce came. She only showed half of what she really earned. So I got screwed. Now I sell my plasma twice a week for 400 bucks a month. Door dash nights I don't have my son. And pull trash off the street I clean up and sell. All while she drives around in an 80000 car. Its completely unfair. But there's literally no other choice. It took seven years from the divorce to finally start making headway: you can do it. Just put your head down and plow through.

Thick-Ad2830 · 2023-10-08T01:29:14+00:00

There are a small number of cases where court ordered spousal support can be justified. Very small.

Court ordered support in many cases is completely unnecessary. In this day and age of “anyone can do anything” and there can be no bias regarding one’s sexual identity (at birth or whenever one “realized”) it kind of seems contradictory. Almost as if people of certain demographics pick and choose when they want them to apply.

Which is if course exactly what happens. The big slap in the face of men is the courts allow it to happen. Of course any complaints or attempted amendments are shouted down as sexism.

Men take women as trophies and some deliberately keep them from learning or achieving in order to easier control them. It happens. Laws that are intended to prevent this have the usual effect:

The assholes actually doing it have enough money they don’t give a shit and middle class guys who’s only crime was being dumb with our affection end up supporting narcissistic psychopaths until we blow our brains out because we can’t eat anything, but Ramen.

At the end of the day unless either of the spouses are mentally disabled there is no excuse. Don’t marry him wanting a paycheck unless you know the risks and the most common type men to be ok with this arrangement.

Don’t marry a woman without a prenup. The roles are interchangeable in today’s growing relationship and identity dynamic of course.

But don’t sit here ladies and try to convince men of the moral righteousness of spousal support. Y’all lost the ability to provide for yourselves in 90% of the cases. It’s what happens and it’s on a personal mental level. Then decided your paycheck should be different only to find out you aren’t 20 and gravity happens. I’m not judging you, but don’t insult our intelligence more than you already have.

fewdo · 2023-10-08T01:39:53+00:00

Right now it's about surviving. You've got things under control so nice job. Give yourself some time to adjust to this new life. At some point, you will find some joy in being alone. Take a deep breath and heal

TakeBackWhat · 2023-10-08T15:00:53+00:00

Look into 529 plans for college expenses. Schwab would be a great firm to consult with first.

HedgehogHole · 2023-10-07T21:24:03+00:00

Hey speaking as a woman, we don’t caaaaare. A date is a date, it doesn’t have to be expensive as long as it’s good. Court ordered support is court ordered support. Any psycho who gets salty about that isn’t someone you want to be with anyway. I creeped your history and saw that you don’t drink. That automatically makes things much less expensive. Go out on a nice first date—if you’re in the DMV, think the great American restaurants or Clyde’s. Seriously hit me up if you are anywhere near that area, I’ve got a ton of cheap but great date spots from when I was a widowed single mom with $10 to my name 😂

SJ530 · 2023-10-07T21:45:38+00:00

Would it be ok to have a side hustle as male escort? Make money and keep the urge in check? Is it not possible for men here in the USA?

I think parents should not worry about paying for kids' college, it will.be free sometime in the future. My friend who is a.surgeon just got her student loan forgiven..$100k. Some change there.

Cmpunk8907 · 2023-10-07T21:56:45+00:00

why dating? didn’t had your lesson with exwife?

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-10-08T02:21:12+00:00

The answer is. Get a visa in first world Asia which is a way better place to live anyway. Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan etc. get a job there. And cya later wifey. Good luck enforcing American laws there

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-10-07T18:34:41+00:00

Work more

Startingthisover · 2023-10-08T14:18:05+00:00

Time to get a 2nd job, a hobby that pays, start a new business. Do something to earn more.

Jsutton3187 · 2023-10-09T11:31:09+00:00

Just date, fck marriage. You can always kick her to the curb.

Title	I just did my "new" budget. What's the fucking point?
Author	dog_fart_tacos
Upvotes	71
Comments	64
Date	October 7, 2023 5:16 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/172biat/i_just_did_my_new_budget_whats_the_fucking_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-just-did-my-new-budget-whats-the-fucking-point.1234288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234288

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