Quick remark: I believe the truth about genders is yet fully unattainable and all discussions can be based only on examples and their honest interpretation, because 1. Averaging is incorrect due to uniqueness of one’s experience and 2. People are too scared to admit the existence of gender characteristics that seem unfavorable and inefficient from the perspective of capitalistic system (like greater susceptibility to stress or emotions).
The question: is sexual attraction a prerequisite for a man's personal relationship with a woman? Do I have a chance to befriend a man if he is not sexually attracted to me?
From my experience, any guy interested in maintaining a “friendship” and personally communicating with me was also attracted to me romantically (their romantic interest was clearly seen).
In my last relationship, there were a lot of interesting discussions (about politics, philosophy, history) with my BF, but he discussed the same things with his own friends. In all topics I was more of a listener (I knew less about topics we discussed, and I was less likely to set any topics myself; they seemed not interesting for any of us). After the breakup due to compatibility reasons, we went NC, so his sexual and personal interests in me both disappeared, we did not even remain friends.
I miss deep discussions and try to replicate them with other people. With men, I am still mostly a listener: in topics where I know something, they often know it better, so I'm not the most helpful & insightful person to talk to. With most men I am the one accepting, not giving knowledge and opinions. Actually, they just say out loud their thoughts that they could say to their friends or to themselves without waiting for a response from me or asking questions (fairly), and then they give a compliment and try to hit on me.
With women, I lead the most conversations, but in deep discussions we both have little to say and it becomes boring soon. I know that problem is me having no deep passions, but it is became noticeable that most other women are similar in this way. If they have deep thoughts, I judge by myself and think that they have them from their boyfriends.
So, Men of the PPD, do you agree that I can be friends with a man only if I give him as much interesting time (if not more) as his friends (which is very hard for me and most of the women I know, given our superficial interests and knowledge) and if not, the only way to sustain relationship with a man is by attracting him sexually?
UPD. Thank you for your answers! I understood that men are just generally OK about sleeping with their female friends, not that they become friends with them in hopes of getting laid.
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