Is there a stigma to dating foreigners where you’re from?

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-01-07T16:17:44+00:00

That could depend on how foreign or exotic is your partner and how diverse the place already is where you live.

purplish_possum · 2024-01-07T16:44:59+00:00

No. Everyone is from somewhere else in California.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-01-07T16:48:29+00:00

I live in NYC. No.

concretecannonball · 2024-01-07T17:57:29+00:00

I’m in southern Europe. Depends on the foreigner. My grandparents used to try to set me up with Italians and Brits but said they’d write me out of the will if I married an Arab lol

Safinated · 2024-01-07T17:23:28+00:00

Unless your country is 100% free of any prejudice or bigotry, there will be some stigma towards some foreigners

sweetestpineapple · 2024-01-07T22:45:16+00:00

Not really, unless there’s a huge age gap or major difference in attractiveness. Like obvious sugar daddy/ 90 day fiancé situations. A handful of people I went to school with have foreign partners that they met studying abroad, on vacation or irl. They’re all about the same looks and education wise, and I don’t think anyone finds that weird. The people that date foreigners tend to be slightly strange, maybe into alternative music/styles, slightly introverted and above average in wealth/education level. Idk what to make of that but I found it interesting. I live in a suburb about 30 minutes from a major city in a liberal state for context.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-01-07T16:22:59+00:00

Not where I am anyway, it’s fairly common

mackenzie013_02 · 2024-01-07T16:30:47+00:00

I don’t live there anymore, but yes. Women who dated foreigners were immediately called gold-diggers. Men dating foreigners were considered lucky.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-01-07T16:59:18+00:00

Not really.

A lot of people see it as maybe an extra struggle? Like why would you want to date someone who lives far and how would that work? Like the hardships of a long distance kind of thing. Are you okay with the time away. How do you afford to see each other. How does it work? And maybe see it as silly and trivial and a over dependence on technology to make your relationship work. And how can you do that over the internet. It may not be real.

I think the judgement and harsh criticisms are for passport bros. Not so much with finding romance abroad. Because sometimes you have to dip your toes outside your pool to find something. I wouldn't be opposed to finding a man outside the US if it happens it happens? And I'll figure it out if it does?

The criticism of passport Bros is well. Modern Women aren't submissive. Modern women don't want to date me so I need to scoop up an impoverished woman so I can have someone cook my chicken tendies in my mom's basement. Its men who typically have negative attitudes towards women already and have a strong sense of entitlement looking to date someone who they can impose their way or the highway. And the woman isn't in a position where she can say otherwise.

baiser_vole · 2024-01-07T17:27:35+00:00

I’m originally from Asia, and it is a thing over there.

FaradayBurka · 2024-01-07T17:48:46+00:00

My boyfriend is brown and from a foreign country and has an accent to prove it. No one cares.

apresonly · 2024-01-07T17:57:00+00:00

a woman i know married a foreigner and everyone talks behind her back about how hes only with her for the green card.

shes kinda shitty tho so thats why people gossip about her.

mlo9109 · 2024-01-07T18:16:23+00:00

Yes, because I live in a predominantly white conservative Christian community. I was told I got what I asked for by being in an unequally yoked relationship when my ex went back to India for an arranged marriage, so...

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-01-07T18:41:23+00:00

I lived my whole life in a major us city and never witnessed or heard of any stigma against dating foreigners

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-01-07T21:09:41+00:00

No there isn't, the stigma is only in the poor countries in which the mid and rich class looks down on the poor women and usually older foreigners that come looking for love

ComfortableJeans · 2024-01-07T16:33:50+00:00

I fell in love with an American girl. Which is typical. It's so hard and rare to meet someone that you actually love speaking to and have that insane connection with, and they're 4000 miles away.

The plan was for me to move over there, and the major issue people from the UK had with it was the idea that I would want to the US and instread that we should live to the UK together.

The only problem they had was that they believed that she would have a better life outside of the US and in the UK. Other than that, so long as it isn't like, barely speaks english and lives in the third world, I doubt people really care at all. Everyone loved interacting with her and was super happy about her. My mother even put the pictures of me and my partner together on her Instagram.

Actually, I had the opposite of being looked down upon, boys I know would ask me how I managed to pull an Hispanic American girl from across the planet. Even strangers were super supportive, talking about how cute it was.

KaleidoscopeOk9162 · 2024-01-07T17:49:58+00:00

I come from a European country, my wife from another European country (where I lived and met her), we moved to the US, our kids, born here are tri-lingual and -cultural. My home country is curious towards foreign cultures (albeit, unfortunately, still fairly suspicious when not hostile to some), my wife’s country is stupidly chauvinistic and outrightly racist (more with southerners, less with anglos) but conforming to their customs I only partially suffered racism, also because my country is in a “middle” echelon. Here in the US, in the diverse social circles I deal with, people value more class than passport and my home country being an iconic vacation destination would be certainly a plus.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-07T17:59:19+00:00

I'm sure most people would say no but I have gotten some comments about it, and that's from the most similar country. There's no implication either of us were desperate or anything though, that would be bizarre.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2024-01-07T18:34:17+00:00

Not really. Sexpatting is defended in the US as it "could be real love" even if the parties can't talk to each other and have a 40 year age gap.

Chance_Journalist_34 · 2024-01-07T18:54:02+00:00

UK here, no stigma if a white person dates a foreigner. But im mixed and my east asian family initially looked down on me marrying a white girl.

neverendingplush · 2024-01-07T19:49:49+00:00

I'm from southern California, diversity is the morm

DoinIt989 · 2024-01-07T22:07:48+00:00

What does a "foreigner" mean?

Someone who immigrated to the US and lives here when you met them? No stigma at all.

Someone you met overseas while you were living overseas? Minimal stigma, only if it's certain countries (like guys who met women in Asia while they were in the military or teaching English)

Someone you met online and did "passport bro" stuff? Yeah, there's a bit of stigma there.

BusinessGarage2606 · 2024-01-07T22:43:30+00:00

Yes, men from my country get furious and created all kinds of disgusting names for women who married or just dated foreign men, especially if those men aren’t white. This is a very common topic that they love to discuss and they think this is the reason why polish women are disgusting traitors, stupid sluts ect.

At the same time they are obsessed with Asian women and try to threaten us that they will go after them instead, as if anyone cared.

NJFlowerchild · 2024-01-07T18:47:11+00:00

It's racism.

McTitty3000 · 2024-01-07T16:28:15+00:00

Lived in big cities my whole life, I've never seen it from anybody that wasn't either a racist or some feminist trying to demean an American man

wtknight · 2024-01-07T18:22:44+00:00

I'm American and married to a foreigner originally from a developing country. Nobody has ever said anything to my face. So if there is a stigma, I don't experience it.

2024-01-07T16:12:02+00:00

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Swedenbad_DkBASED · 2024-01-07T16:23:55+00:00

Kinda.

krackedy · 2024-01-07T16:28:41+00:00

Do you mean immigrants? I live in a bug reverse city. Half the people in my life (friends, coworkers etc) are either immigrants or dating an immigrant.

napolim214 · 2024-01-07T21:19:23+00:00

As a guy I got some light joking from other men, but nothing serious. From women, though it ranged from light joking to taking some kind of offense over it.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-01-07T21:33:22+00:00

Eh, depends on the foreigner. Had a boyfriend who was black a while back, and my friend's mother said ''Oh dear, her poor mother'', but nobody ever said anything to my face. I ended up marrying a foreigner but he's an acceptable foreigner (white, from one of the rich countries), so even if someone has an issue with foreigners, they'd at least consider him one of the good ones. I imagine there's much more of a stigma in smaller cities and towns, especially if the family is very traditional and nationalistic.

jaybalvinman · 2024-01-07T23:30:06+00:00

I am also the product of an immigrant father who came to this country and married for papers to my mother..

I am sure back then it was more taboo because my mother is white and my father non-white.

I do often judge others when I see the same dynamic. I think that one of them cant do any better and the other is worshipping/fetishizing the other.

I myself would never date a foreigner because i want to connect with someone who grew up the same way I did.

GlitterAndFireballs · 2024-01-07T23:53:20+00:00

I think, as far as my family goes, it would depend. They might be concerned that some values might not mesh well across cultures.

AngeCruelle · 2024-01-08T00:06:38+00:00

Only when it's accompanied with glaring red flags like this being his 3rd or 4th wife or being an extremely annoying person to deal with

CountMandrake · 2024-01-08T00:38:42+00:00

I'm a german-italian-argentinian born spaniard (if that makes sense). Hard to explain but I moved around a lot when I was a kid.

In Italy and Argentina there is no stigma dating european people, or those of european descents born in Argentina (criollos), but there is a lot of stigma sorrounding dating and marrying other south american, african or asian people.

Argentinian women (the white ones, because there are quite a lot of people of mixed or native background) are wary of foreign south american men going for them because of their whiteness. The same happens in Uruguay and the South of Brazil, where there are lots of whites.

Native and african men from Central America fetishize white women a lot. They have a sayin', "mejorar la raza empeorando la ajena", or "improving our race by worsening others", which tells you about the way they view themselves and their own ethnic group. There is a lot of racial inferiority complex going around in some Latin American population.

Argentinian men date all across the spectrum. They also take advantage on latinas fetishizing them, and have a reputation on being players and liars.

In Germany they seem to be more open to date asian and african tho. I've seen lots of mixed couples over there. Men date mostly asian and latinas, women date muslims and black men.

Spain it's like a mix of both. Some spaniard women have dated italian, french and even white latinos historically, but now they are more open to date middle easterners and african.

PrestonHolden · 2024-01-08T02:58:25+00:00

I’m in Canada & there sort of is if she has an accent. I prefer foreign girls tho

SlyStocks · 2024-01-08T05:49:23+00:00

I genuinely don‘t care. I am very open about being unable to attract the native population and I blame them and/or human nature, not me. Haven‘t dated a native woman in about a decade.

thisreallyisnotok · 2024-01-08T06:35:11+00:00

Only if a woman dated a foreign man (I’m upper middle class). But men can date all the foreigners they want

Planthoe30 · 2024-01-08T07:39:16+00:00

Yes and no, I find it depends on the person. I have a lot of passport bro buds and only one of them gets shit for it but that’s because his ex-wife was absolutely full of red flags but I think it was just low hanging fruit for them to make the statements that she is/was “using him for a green card.” It was likely true in his case, like I said the red flags were incredible dude was absolutely thinking with his penis cause she is hot. My other friends don’t really suffer the stigmas like he did because they actually appear to have good/genuine relationships with their wives. So I have a hard time saying yes or no to this question because usually when people use that stigma as an insult there seems to be a reason for it first.

DXBrigade · 2024-01-08T09:34:13+00:00

No. Unless it's a typical mail order bride situation.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-01-08T11:48:56+00:00

There is kind of a feeling of well how does that end up. Are his Indian parents gonna throw a fit? Is he gonna apply for citizenship and department of home affairs investigates and boots him straight out the country? Will she dump him as soon as she has citizenship in her own right? Will he lose his security clearance because all her family actually have CCP links she hasn't mentioned?

There's plenty of examples of it happening and working out. There's also examples of it all going down in flames.

justforlulz12345 · 2024-01-08T12:12:11+00:00

Yes. I live in the middle of redneck land. Put two and two together

safestuff987 · 2024-01-08T19:31:08+00:00

I live in a very diverse area where interracial dating is very common, so for the most part no. There are some people who do stick to their own race/nationality of course, but overall nobody really cares.

MidoriEgg · 2024-01-08T21:31:33+00:00

It depends on what type of foreigner

Thin-Manufacturer-97 · 2024-01-10T10:26:13+00:00

A tunisian here (south Africa) and now whenever marries from Europe& America or generally the west, we say they're ust looking to find an easy way out of Tunisia

Title	Is there a stigma to dating foreigners where you’re from?
Author	Chebbieurshaka
Upvotes	16
Comments	68
Date	January 7, 2024 4:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/190vb7h/is_there_a_stigma_to_dating_foreigners_where/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-a-stigma-to-dating-foreigners-where-youre.1242464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242464

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