I feel violated. Girl lied to me about taking birth control…

Biervat2 · 2024-01-23T12:27:41+00:00

You live in a country where you go free. Take it!

C20H25N3O-C21H30O2 · 2024-01-23T13:12:55+00:00

If you didn't consent, you can make your choice. It doesn't matter what others think, it's all in your head. If you have a way out, take it.

CauliflowerActual178 · 2024-01-23T13:31:24+00:00

Just run from her, she is using the pregnancy as a weapon to hurt you, just imagine how badly can her hurt you if just give her opportunity.

MushroomMade · 2024-01-23T12:39:47+00:00

Bro you haven't got anything binding you to her or her offspring. Run for the hills and do not care one bit what anyone says most people nowadays are brain fucked anyway, Trust me their opinion doesn't matter and will be negative the minute you do something that they don't agree with.

If you were everyone's cup of tea, you would be a mug☕️

Edit: (British saying basically meaning if you did everything everyone asked of you, you would be a pushover)

feedmedonuts00 · 2024-01-23T13:00:55+00:00

What country?

WolfShaman · 2024-01-23T13:57:12+00:00

If you're lucky enough to be in a country that won't force you to be chained to her, then don't. Block her, and move on.

You may feel like a coward, but you need to understand that she trapped you. And she's not entirely mentally stable. Your life would be miserable, and she's probably going to mess that kid up, whether you're there or not. And do you want the kid to grow up seeing you miserable all the time? If it's a boy, it will think that it's normal for men to be that way.

Look at the thing she lied about, is there a possibility she was already pregnant? There are some women out there who cheat a lot, but blame the most stable/best man for a long-term relationship, so they know that they and the child will be taken care of.

randyoftheinternet · 2024-01-23T12:16:04+00:00

Always have control over the birth control...

wildlandsroamer · 2024-01-23T13:08:31+00:00

This is so common, baby trap

Midwit_Concentrator · 2024-01-23T15:38:04+00:00

The child is not yours - she was likely already pregnant when you had sex and will try to shame you into "stepping up".

Leave and don't look back.

Also, don't put your dick into crazy. Men need to stop losing their mind over pussy.

Thal-creates · 2024-01-23T13:48:30+00:00

She raped you bro

Stairwayunicorn · 2024-01-23T12:28:17+00:00

if you have evidence, don't lose it.

ThePureFool · 2024-01-23T14:22:51+00:00

Happened to me some decades ago.
I stayed almost 18 years. For reasons.

Ask yourself this - if she respects you so little that she did this, what do you think she will do to you if you ever try to leave?

brainhack3r · 2024-01-23T14:58:53+00:00

This isn't the type of woman you want to be bound to. This is the FIRST interaction with you basically and if she lied to you about THIS she's going to lie to you about everything!

RUN!!!

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2024-01-23T13:34:43+00:00

Sounds fishy to me. She wouldn't let you pull out, and then she is pregnant. If you get involved with this baby in any way, shape, or form, you need a DNA test first.

And buy so damn condoms before you ruin your life. It's your responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

scifipoorguy · 2024-01-23T15:17:36+00:00

Walk and don't look back. She lied to and manipulated you and deserves nothing.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-01-23T14:10:53+00:00

Block. Delete. Done. You can have kids whenever you want. That's the power of manhood.

thatusenameistaken · 2024-01-23T14:53:25+00:00

Fellow Men, any advice?

paternity test ASAP. 100% appears to be an attempt to baby trap, given it came right after some arguments. if she'll lie about the pill she'll lie about having a douchebag's kid so she can saddle a decent guy into paying for it.

Zealousideal_Ball308 · 2024-01-23T15:07:57+00:00

Who knows if its even yours tbh. She could be cuckolding.

SurgeStories · 2024-01-23T19:45:55+00:00

If she wouldn’t get off when you told her to stop, that means she raped you.

MegaAlex · 2024-01-23T23:55:14+00:00

It happen to me when I was 22 and again at 25, girls both times said she was on the pill but lied. I wasn't ready both times. but I tried.

Anyways, do whatever the hell you want, but keep in mind the mom will never respect you, she never did to begin with. If you stay in her life she will gaslight you and treat you like shit, Id humbly suggest you just take care of your son or daughter but try to minimize contact with the mom. Maybe agree to stay friends, but you'll soon see once she starts dating other guys she will make herself the victim and play the act. She already started.

Valus22 · 2024-01-23T13:27:31+00:00

ShE LiEd to YUo bEcAusE of the pAtrIarChY!! ItS MENS faUlT ShE dId ThAt!!! /s

Correct-Income5608 · 2024-01-23T14:22:49+00:00

So what country is this that lets you get women preg for free????

ConflictedRebl · 2024-01-23T14:30:57+00:00

That Plan B pill is like $50.

The whole thing seems planned. Is there a reason she would think having a baby with you would benefit her? It sounds like she knew what she was doing.

soontobesolo · 2024-01-23T14:40:01+00:00

Walk away. You didn't want to have the kid, and you are under no obligation to do anything. You don't want her in your life.

LoopyPro · 2024-01-23T15:09:50+00:00

Run for the hills and don't look back. If you play along, your life is pretty much over.

diamondd-ddogs · 2024-01-23T13:38:13+00:00

fyi, the pullout method is not effective, you can not rely on it to prevent pregnancy.

as far as the situation, leave. if she is crazy and manipulative enough to do what she did, you do not want to be a co parent with her. as much as it sucks for your biological kid to not have a father, id still get out of the situation.

ImmatureMeteor7 · 2024-01-23T13:14:53+00:00

Birth control is not just the woman's responsibility, you should take steps too especially since nothing is 100%. Also, if you haven't already, get yourself checked as you never know. You're under no legal obligation, that's great. The moral one is on you to handle though.

Semisonic · 2024-01-23T14:45:13+00:00

First time?

Cactus2711 · 2024-01-23T18:44:58+00:00

Holy fuck balls. This makes me want to get a vasectomy today

AccomplishedMovie804 · 2024-01-23T18:45:54+00:00

I can so relate to this. I was married to a Sociopath. (I had no idea until I started uncovering her lies 9 months into the marriage.) She played me like a fiddle. The love bombing before marriage, the lying about meaningless things, etc. She even committed 2 felonies while we were dating and I never knew, (I was dumb enough to think that a 5 hour drive between us was okay). As soon as we got married, she wanted to have kids so bad. I have never had any kids and at the time, would have loved being a dad. She faked pregnancies 3 different times. Her entire goal was to have a kid with me so I was locked down and I would have to pay her for kids. I am beyond lucky she never truly got pregnant. She is truly the definition of evil.

Shreddersaurusrex · 2024-01-23T21:23:14+00:00

You were deceived. Tell her to kick rocks.

barkmagician · 2024-01-24T01:21:44+00:00

birth control or not........use a friggin rubber!!!!!!

Scary-Error4119 · 2024-01-24T03:12:00+00:00

Be careful men... women of reddit ban us men for shinning the light on a certain genders manipulative tactics..seems like the truth hurts a certain gender....let this story be a tool to expose. ..the opposite genders fighting methods... peace and prosperity to our brothers

Acrobatic_Long_6059 · 2024-01-24T05:02:42+00:00

As a woman, that's super fucked up.

AnkoInMyManko · 2024-01-24T06:18:21+00:00

There's no need to "step up." She made the decision unilaterally. She can take responsibility unilaterally.

DaM3T · 2024-01-23T12:17:27+00:00

Let it go

plumberack · 2024-01-23T13:46:49+00:00

Naive men are always tricked by this tactic and many naive men are millionaires.

She didn't lie to you about birth control which would have been the moral violation of your consensual sex (laws don't care). She just didn't keep her promise.

I also think that waking you up at 3am was part of her plan which she might have easily found in Facebook groups and reddit How to guides.

These are the top 4 tactics that are used to baby trap men:

Drunk sex.
Lying about birth control. (Lying about wearing condom and vasectomy is considered rape but not birth control.)
She gets on top as soon as you tell her you are over.
She crosses her legs to keep you locked.

The mistake that many men make: They tell her when they are about to finish.

SuckBallsDoYa · 2024-01-23T14:05:13+00:00

I'm so sorry. I've never been one to play around w that stuff. Always been real adult as I could. I'm sorry that's def messed up and not right. And if a woman says she taking something and isn't? That's entrapment...I hope ur able to pull through okay. Seems to me it's on her

theoutbacklp · 2024-01-23T14:12:44+00:00

That's a rough spot to be in. She played you, and that's not okay by any stretch. It makes sense you're torn. On one hand, you want to do right by a kid that might be yours, but on the other, you didn't sign up for this—not like this, anyway.

Stepping up doesn't mean you have to play into her manipulation. It means you need to figure out what's true. So, get that DNA test as soon as you can. If the kid is yours, it's time for some hard decisions. You can be a part of that child's life without being with her. If you're not the father, then you've got a whole different set of choices.

Once you've got the truth, you can decide how to step up in a way that's right for you and the kid, if it comes to that.

dbhalberg · 2024-01-23T14:30:08+00:00

What country is this? I’m so curious…

lavekian · 2024-01-23T16:19:56+00:00

If you told her to get off and she didn’t that’s rape

Roddy0608 · 2024-01-23T17:12:05+00:00

Never believe them.

Yoda-Anon · 2024-01-23T17:28:36+00:00

What a terrible story. How could you stay with a woman who would do that to you.

Take the exit and don’t look back. It may cost you a few friends but as time goes on it will get better.

Comfortable-Wish-192 · 2024-01-23T17:40:25+00:00

From here forward ALWAYS use a condom.

Significant-Charity8 · 2024-01-23T17:48:31+00:00

Dude you aren't a deadbeat. This would technically be considered r*pe, since she lied to you about the circumstances of your sex together, and deliberately defied your wishes in an effort to get pregnant.

Block her, cut her out of your life, and move on.

Qantourisc · 2024-01-23T18:53:40+00:00

File rape complaint ?

SatayBilik · 2024-01-23T20:00:23+00:00

This is crazy and I feel for the child who’ll have a terrible mother by the sound of it. Women should lose custody of their child if found to have lied in such a manner.

Mysterious-Leg5997 · 2024-01-23T22:57:00+00:00

Call her bluff. Break up with her NOW. Explain to her by law you have no intent to support her in this pregnancy and say goodbye. Most likely she will end up aborting it anyhow. She is seeing if you will stay around.

aircoft · 2024-01-24T04:00:50+00:00

Unfortunately for you, this advice came a bit late, however, I wouldn't recommend anyone sleeping with someone they don't want to have a child with, especially unprotected. :/

skeletoncurrency · 2024-01-24T05:14:04+00:00

That was rape, just so you know. If you told her to stop and get off and she refused, that's rape. And I know it's not quite the same as stealthing (where the guy secretly takes off the condom without telling their partner) but lying about contraception is still not okay.

MembershipOverall130 · 2024-01-24T14:40:22+00:00

Paternity test bro

thesnaken · 2024-01-23T16:15:44+00:00

She lied. Fuck her. Don’t think twice about it.

KuntRRyBoy · 2024-01-23T21:15:21+00:00

What lesson did you learn here? Wear a condom. Go file rape charges

HereForaRefund · 2024-01-24T07:37:04+00:00

You shouldn't be having to write this post. You should be using a condom EVERY time, ALL THE TIME! Do NOT place your reproductive rights into the hands of a woman that feigns the understanding of responsibility.

This was stupid on your behalf.

volleyballbeach · 2024-01-23T21:20:17+00:00

Not a fellow man but thought this opinion might make you feel better… please remember you do not owe her a thing. She is the one who did wrong in this situation. She clearly lacks character. As a woman I would never press a man to be a father if he didn’t want to be. That’s not fair to the father or the child. If there is no way you could get custody to try to give the child a better life than she’ll give it, I would make it clear to her now that you will not be supporting financially in the hope this convinces her to change her mind.

If possible get text evidence of her having lied. Just in case she starts spreading lies in your community.

CarHungry · 2024-01-24T06:07:26+00:00

I believe they call this grape by deception. I honestly don't know how this is any different than stealthing, or poking holes in a condom, which is definitely illegal in some places.

JoryATL · 2024-01-23T15:37:32+00:00

Similar ish story here kid is the best thing that ever happened to me, would have supported and abortion at the time also would’ve likely signed away my parental rights there is no chance in hell I would go back in time and make any of that happen. Your situation is not mine take my advice for what it’s worth.

avoidingpsychos · 2024-01-23T17:34:24+00:00

A lot of women love the attention they get when they're pregnant or after they've had a baby. Some women almost become addicted to the attention and seek to stay pregnant all the time. It's clear that you were in a situation where she had full intentions of becoming pregnant. I went through a similar thing myself, but live in the US, so I'm on the hook for $1,300 per month or I can lose everything or go to jail.

If you can escape and start your life over again, it's definitely worth considering. Don't think for a second that women like this care about what's best for you — they clearly don't. I think you have to just come to terms with the fact that you were used and that she got what she wanted. If you stay and try to give her more, you only fall further into the trap. Just move on and change your phone number, address, etc and try to start over.

gabibbushh · 2024-01-23T21:14:27+00:00

Become gay, women sucks.... Just kidding, but the second one is real, women sucks

imbetterthanyou30 · 2024-01-24T03:22:32+00:00

This is rape.

PaleontologistOk222 · 2024-01-23T20:51:45+00:00

Should have used a condom. Its your own fault.

truresearcher · 2024-01-23T14:01:54+00:00

So many here just outright suggest you abandon a child. I know it's not even there yet, but what if she keeps the baby?

What if, that woman who you think is crazy, decides to bring life into this world. Life that is partly from you. It's not my place to tell you anything, really. I agree that she isn't a good partner, and staying with her is out of the question. But if she gives birth... ugh, I don't know man. Maybe it's just me, but I'd hate for my kid to grow up with a mother, alone, like that.

DarkMental76 · 2024-01-23T16:31:49+00:00

Oh no!!! A woman wouldn’t “get off you” like you could not get her off of you…. OMG…. Shut the fuck up bitch. You allowed it to happen when you didn’t use a condom or know her well enough to KNOW about her birth control.

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-01-23T13:42:58+00:00

That’s fucked up! But it’s not the kids fault. I’d try to be part of his/her life if you can. At the end of the day, he’s still your kid. But do a paternity test to be sure.

AtlanticPortal · 2024-01-23T14:21:11+00:00

Use the fucking condom. Pregnancies are not the only things you don't want to happen after having sex.

leocorleo · 2024-01-23T14:23:40+00:00

Free kid, jackpot

z770i1 · 2024-01-23T14:54:03+00:00

Paternity test

Illustrious_Age1247 · 2024-01-23T16:27:24+00:00

Luke, Pull out!

Itsgoing000 · 2024-01-23T17:11:02+00:00

Not helpful but that’s a big compliment on your genetics lmao. It’s a very shitty thing to do from her side, though.

1976Tom · 2024-01-23T19:01:23+00:00

Don’t stick a dick in crazy

MrAnonPoster · 2024-01-23T19:56:30+00:00

Dont think with your little head

beenbannedb4bybetter · 2024-01-23T21:39:47+00:00

Tell everyone what happened and I doubt you'll be labeled a coward. Make sure her family knows she intentionally got knocked up out of wedlock.

discofantom · 2024-01-23T22:54:37+00:00

You're lucky you live in a country where you have rights. Similar thing happened to me, but I didn't find out I had a child for 2 years until the child support payments started being garnished from my check. They were retroactive to her birth. I never even got a chance to prove paternity. I did a 3rd party test and she's mine and I love her to death. But the child support debt is crippling. Like to the point I can't afford my bills and I'm on the verge of being homeless. I was depending on my tax return to keep me from drowning but that's even going to go towards the arrears. So my advice to you is to run. Save yourself. Because guys like me are one bad day away from blowing our brains out, and you don't ever want to deal with the mental anguish situations like these cause.

Scary-Error4119 · 2024-01-24T03:12:59+00:00

Close off the borders of your life to people like that.. nothing in nothing out.

Due-Apple5859 · 2024-01-24T04:54:39+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you and is classified as rape

Extension-Humor4281 · 2024-01-24T07:30:50+00:00

You didn't ask for this, and I promise that staying around for the sake of the child will make you miserable because of the fact that you'll always need to do it at the whims of the mother. Tell her you're leaving and do it NOW. With any luck, she'll get an abortion when she realizes you're serious and won't be trapped into a relationship with her.

Dustball414CA · 2024-01-24T08:04:15+00:00

Sounds like you were setup from the get-go. Walk away while you can and do NOT get emotionally entangled with a girl like that ever again.

Walk away. Far away. And walk some more.

PalpitationHot2427 · 2024-01-24T09:18:58+00:00

Tell her you have aids. Super aids

WolfInTheMiddle · 2024-01-24T11:03:41+00:00

Walk away. Don’t allow the idea of being a “coward” let her trap you more. In your head you should not even consider the child yours since you did not consent. If you live in a part of the world where you have the right to walk away and not have financial responsibility for a child you did not consent to then you are fortunate in that sense and should take full advantage.

Jibeset · 2024-01-24T15:29:08+00:00

Never see her again.

whathappened2cod · 2024-01-24T19:25:24+00:00

Damn man that sucks. You better get a DNA/Paternity test once the child is born.

HotwheelsJackOfficia · 2024-01-24T22:25:42+00:00

Wouldn't this kind of thing be considered rape by deception if the genders were reversed?

MiKEY_SANZ · 2024-01-24T23:33:50+00:00

“I live in a country where fathers are not legally bound or required to pay any form of child support for children born out of wedlock. Fathers have no rights and women get sole custody (If the couple is not married.)”

What country is this? Sounds like a Utopia

AcidKritana3 · 2024-01-25T02:29:45+00:00

If she lied about taking birth control, she probably also is lying about you being her only partner

Sauood0046 · 2024-01-27T04:29:52+00:00

To the streets, young man. I hope you have learned your lesson. Protected sex is the way to go!

Title	I feel violated. Girl lied to me about taking birth control…
Author	DeathGun2020
Upvotes	455
Comments	205
Date	January 23, 2024 12:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/19dn0hb/i_feel_violated_girl_lied_to_me_about_taking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-feel-violated-girl-lied-to-me-about-taking-birth.1243580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243580

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