How about women with strong father figure but motherless?

thedarkracer · 2024-02-11T16:19:15+00:00

Mother issues usually stem with men or males in general. One issue as I see in my cousin who is a kid to a single mom is over attachment. One guy in school whose mom died at a young age, his dad used to not let him stay at home. The guy had a lonely life at home so sort of unfulfilled childhood. No safe space, too much stoicness and doesn't know how to receive or show love. He left before reaching teen years otherwise I could have more data in this case.

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-02-11T17:19:30+00:00

My exs parents were technically married but she hated her mother and identified with her father, though both were pretty trashy people.

She was aggressive, hyper competitive, masculine personality, obsessed with work.

Mayfloweronthewall · 2024-02-11T16:18:35+00:00

Knew a girl who grew up around her brothers and father, her mom wasn’t in her life. She was a Tom boy, hung out with mostly dudes, was pretty aggressive and was always getting into fights.

GGMcThroway · 2024-02-11T18:27:28+00:00

They often wind up either being foisted into the "woman of the house" role and expected to take care of all the chores like a little servant as soon as they're physically capable, or they're raised like a boy and entirely disconnected from their womanhood.

It's just less visible because men usually aren't the parent that steps up to raise the kids in the event of a separation.

HumpsyDumpsy · 2024-02-11T18:40:31+00:00

My dad wasn't a part of my life, and although my mom was around, she is emotionally distant. So I believe I have both mommy and daddy issues.

For how my mothers distance affected me, my role as an eldest daughter was hypermasculinized, to make up for the single parent household situation we were in. So I didn't really learn how to just be, and embrace my feminine energy, or sexuality.

I lived a short childhood, and constantly watched my mom date countless men who were all abusive in some way. Her lack of setting boundaries has rubbed off on us, so we easily let men into our lives who have ill intentions. Whenever things get emotionally tough for me, I abandon ship, just how my mother emotionally abandons me, because I've never learned how to sit with my feelings, or learned it was okay to experience ALL emotions

SmallSituation6432 · 2024-02-11T16:20:05+00:00

...look around at the guys here.

What you are describing as daddy issues is wildly inconsistent, because its pretty clear that girl's father was not absent.

daylightxx · 2024-02-11T19:03:42+00:00

Moms can destroy a daughter in a very special way that I don’t think dads can. I don’t believe this is a gender thing. Any parent can mess up a kid to a point that dating becomes super difficult

froderenfelemus · 2024-02-11T18:43:35+00:00

This is nothing but speculation;

I could imagine that those women are out of tune with their femininity. They might want to do their hair, nails, makeup and whatnot - but they never had anyone to teach her, or tell them that it was okay to do. Nail polish was “gay” in her household, perhaps.

She wouldn’t be able to relate to many of her female peers, and would gravitate towards being friends with the boys.

She wouldn’t have that tight knit supportive relationship with girls or women. The support system that many men lack too, because it’s “gay” to talk about your feelings.

She would probably struggle a lot with hygiene too. Maybe even overall cleanliness. Especially on her period.

Most of all I think she would feel really alone, unwanted and excluded.

kexavah558ask · 2024-02-11T18:28:10+00:00

Statistically, not only sons but also daughters raised by single fathers do beat than those of single mothers in most metrics IIRC, but I think this results from bias. When both the mother and father are wrecks of people (mental instability is inheritable), usually the kid stays with the mother; while in the few cases of single fathers having custody, he usually is an extraordinary person, often with familiar support (parents/siblings/cousins) that can give a daughter some support with girls' issues.

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-11T19:35:40+00:00

I prefer to judge people on their own merits and personalities instead of things they had no control over.

nonplussedminus · 2024-02-11T16:48:05+00:00

What about them? They have a tough life and some make it and some break. Guys on this sub really think way too much about women who don't think about them at all.

Although having a good dad but no mom is pretty rare I think. I've only known one woman like that. Her mom had BPD and the antics got so bad the whole family had to cut her off. She was threatening suicide on her own daughter constantly and basically made her life hell. The dad was a good guy whose only.mistake was marrying the wrong woman.

SoRoodSoNasty · 2024-02-11T18:19:27+00:00

I think most people who are abandoned by a parent are going to seek to replace that relationship somehow, but also without mindful attention act out their feelings of anger, hurt, abandon on that person.

DolphinPunkCyber · 2024-02-11T16:44:11+00:00

The big difference here is that men raising kids on their own are usually crème de la crème in terms of being a parent. And men usually become single parent because their wife died

So girls and boys raised by single fathers usually are lacking on the emotional side, they seem cold, emotionally distant, they have trouble identifying their own emotions. But they also grow up to be self reliant, confident, masculine.

While women usually become single moms due to divorce, where one or more usually both parents were the problem. So usually you do have a problematic mother raising children, creating all kinds of problems down the line.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-02-11T18:26:57+00:00

I’m dying for some data on the children of absent fathers versus the children of absent mothers but well, one of those is much more common than the other.

But anecdotally I know a child psychiatrist who says that the most fucked up kids in their clinic tend to be motherless.

MidoriEgg · 2024-02-11T21:03:07+00:00

I’m really wracking my brain but I can’t think of a single person who had no mother AND a good father figure. I can think of a handful who had no mother and a bad father.

fiftythreezero · 2024-02-11T16:27:24+00:00

I kind of have mother issues I guess? My mom passed away recently. I have never been close with her throughout my life. I am very close with my dad.

I don’t really have problems that stem from it. I do kind of compare my boyfriends to my dad as the standard though. Not to a point where it sabotages my relationships.

Gitsumrestmf · 2024-02-11T16:19:19+00:00

On one hand, an adult woman would probably be better support during a girl's teenage years, as she develops into a young woman.

Secondly, with only a father, a girl may grow up a bit tomboy-ish... although girl friends could be of use there.

Laila_kiss07 · 2024-02-11T17:07:35+00:00

I don't think it affects as much as father issues in women and mother issues in men. I mean, sure, there might be problems but I haven't really met anyone like that

hellamadthrowaway · 2024-02-11T18:42:31+00:00

Mother issues are more deadly than daddy issues

Results in near permanent invalidation

But supposedly men and women are the same

noafrochamplusamurai · 2024-02-11T20:05:05+00:00

Daddy issues for women is a misnomer, just like mommy issues are for men. The key relationship that causes fail, or success. Is that of the same gendered parent . Mothers do far more damage to their daughters than their father, or lack there of. The gaslighting, emotional issues, and manipulation at the hands of the mother is much more formative than the father. The same applies to men, having a bad father, or no father is much more damaging to men, than it is for women.

I'm not saying that absence of a father doesn't have any negative effects. Just that the things we label as fatherless behavior, is learned behavior taught by the mother, and the same applies for the father/son dynamic. There is also a cultural caveat that interacts with this dynamic as well.

DarayRaven · 2024-02-11T16:18:43+00:00

I mean it's not like l'm gonna wife her up regardless if she has mommy or daddy issues

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MongoBobalossus · 2024-02-11T16:13:24+00:00

My lady and her mom had a rough relationship while she was married to her stepdad, but since they divorced they’ve been a lot better.

Tuco_Salamanca_facts · 2024-02-11T19:32:23+00:00

Then that woman will become more naturally masculine

Different_Cress7369 · 2024-02-11T19:58:51+00:00

Widowed and divorced fathers tend to find a stepmother for their kids pretty quickly, so girls with no maternal figure in their lives would be pretty rare.

wouldbepandananny · 2024-02-11T22:34:04+00:00

I have terrible mommy issues- and strong relationships with my father and brother. This has caused difficulty for me in forming strong, trusting relationships with girls (growing up) and with women. Of course being in any monogamous relationship and primarily having dude friends can present some concerns for any partner (given I am a heterosexual woman).

It would be good for me to form and maintain strong relationships with women- but despite knowing the cause of my difficulties, I'm not able to simply get over it. Becoming "too close" with my male friends is a problem, and has caused my husband discomfort- justifiably.

My mommy issues have also caused me not to learn many basic skills (dad worked 7 days a week, we survived on sandwiches).

My mommy issues- having to do with both abuse and neglect (though more neglect) have lead me to being a very anxious adult who needs more validation than is reasonable. This has resulted in some maladaptive attention-seeking behaviors (seeking validation and attention from men) and a great deal of discontent- mostly with myself.

While I consider myself to be generally kind, funny, and don't have anything resembling a mean streak, some of my behavioral patterns are pretty sucky for a partner of mine to have to put up with.

Kentaro009 · 2024-02-12T03:28:28+00:00

It is pretty well documented that people from single father homes due much better than those from single father homes.

I think part of the reason why is that deadbeat dads are less likely to take on that responsibility so you are naturally filtering for the more competent parents.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-02-12T03:56:38+00:00

Yes my experience echos yours "You're not half the man my father is, my dad would straighten you up etc.."

Funny thing is the one time she called her dad to talk to me we wound up agreeing with each other he said she was crazy always has been and she hated that so much

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-02-12T06:18:32+00:00

The issue is people believing folklore. There’s no daddy issues, there’s low self esteem, low mate value, bpd and high sociosexuality.

The issue with daddy is besides the point

Planthoe30 · 2024-02-12T08:42:05+00:00

It hardens you, you adopt masculine energy because that is the only real role model you had. Also I was expected to take on responsibilities occasionally that were more “feminine” such as soothing my younger sister, and descalating mom’s mental health crises. My mother was not absent just developmentally lower functioning and emotionally from severe trauma as a child herself.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-02-12T13:43:02+00:00

No such thing as mother issues.

punapearebane · 2024-02-12T19:41:51+00:00

Well. As a woman who had a strong father figure but a lacking maternal side.

Hyper independence
Male-dominated work field
Workaholic
Distrust in women
Too much trust in men (believe me, its a problem to deal with)
Super competative

These are the women who earn their own money and fix their own sink. Men find it hard to date them because they are too masculine, loud and because they dont feel secure being feminen, its hard for them to ever rely on a man for anything. Even emotional needs.

trettles · 2024-02-13T08:58:09+00:00

Honestly never met a man raised by his father. Plenty of men raised by single mothers. I recall one woman raised by her father because her mother died.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-02-14T00:54:05+00:00

Yikes at the toxicity here that single dads are better than single moms. What misogyny. Studies don't support these claims

Brazuca0 · 2024-02-15T03:25:21+00:00

All 3 of them?

Joking but serious, it's so rare that it's hard to even say much about such cases.

But funny enough, i did meet (and dated for a short while) a woman like that: she was raised by her father and grandfather and had no relationship with her mother, all i can say is that she was clearly spoiled. Zero doubt she was definitely raised as daddy's little princess, really showed in her entitlement.

She also did the same thing you described, seeing her dad as super hero on comparing me to him, as if i wasnt good enough for her.

Title	How about women with strong father figure but motherless?
Author	Dependent_Loquat2508
Upvotes	23
Comments	77
Date	February 11, 2024 4:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1aobf0a/how_about_women_with_strong_father_figure_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-about-women-with-strong-father-figure-but.1245130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245130

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